Scatterbrain (2003) SSC

by Larry Niven

  To this day he still hasn’t won a Hugo Award.

  The committee gave me an unbroken Hugo, and the base of the broken one with its plaque still attached.

  If you want to see the broken base, ask Harlan Ellison. It’s in his possession.

  II

  Jerry used to say, “Money will get you through times of no Hugos better than Hugos will get you through times of no money.”

  We got tired of hearing it. In 1984 we had plans to fix that.

  The beauty of it was that Jerry was master of ceremonies. No way could he escape. The committee decided to present him with a chocolate Hugo Award! And they chose me to present it.

  So: the Award ceremonies are in progress, and I am summoned backstage. Miller hands me a rocket ship and base, both chocolate and wrapped in foil. Two separate pieces.

  “It cracked in the mold,” he told me.

  “I know what to do,” I said.

  So I went out on stage and presented Jerry Pournelle with the only Hugo that will genuinely get you through times of no money. “But,” I said, “I dropped the damn thing and broke it.”

  Introduction to Peter Hamilton Story “Watching Trees Grow”

  Now, this is why I’m not a professional critic. I’m holding a mystery, and the surest way to really tell you what Peter Hamilton has accomplished is to blow away all his secrets. You may want to read the story first.

  Here goes—

  He’s written a murder story covering several centuries, in which the solution depends upon the sociology of immortal families evolved during the Roman empire, and upon forensic techniques that change massively during the course of the story.

  A story that opens in an altered Regency era, ends centuries later, when humanity has attained near-godlike powers. Why wouldn’t Edward Raleigh—the detective—drop the case and move on to something else? Hamilton makes it plausible: near-immortal families are tight and clannish.

  New forensic techniques develop and are used on old evidence. How and why was that evidence kept? That’s plausible too: immortals have seen times change and can anticipate.

  Notice: answers don’t have to be inevitable or even likely. They only have to be plausible, as long as they are well thought out, internally consistent, and shown. The author can’t light them up in neon or that will blow away the puzzle. What makes the solution work has to be seen: the text has to paint pictures of an alien world.

  And we’re obliged to make it look easy. Whatever the author is seen to struggle with is bound to be a clue.

  Detective stories are as difficult as the author wants them to be. The only law is that a reader must know everything he needs to solve the puzzle. We’re not looking for an “Aha” as much as an “I should have seen that!” Agatha Christie broke every other presumptive law over and over: victim as killer, everyone’s guilty, author as killer…but not that one.

  Aside from that stricture, a puzzle may be arbitrarily difficult or simple. The level of puzzle selects the reader.

  “Sure it’s a miserable mystery, but the writing and characters are so neat!”(Death Wore a Fabulous New Fragrance)

  It may be set anywhere, anywhen. Ancient Rome or British Dark Ages or ancient China, South America infested with Hitler clones (The Boys from Brazil), alternate time tracks (Fatherland). (If the critics say that’s mainstream, it’s okay with me.) But Author is obliged to educate Reader in every important detail of his background universe. Reader must learn to know Ancient Rome or Hitler’s England well enough to understand the motives, the tools, and the attitudes behind the killings.

  Science fiction detective stories are harder yet…as hard as the author desires. If the weapon is something yet to be invented, it has to be fully described. (“The Hole Man”: the weapon was a mini black hole. The killer will escape because no lawyer will try to describe the weapon to a jury.) If motivation derives from quirks in a civilization yet to evolve, that civilization must be described. Mickey Spillane sets action in a bar half his readers have seen themselves, and saves himself a hell of a lot of work. But if I work in centuries yet to be born, with suspects evolved on other worlds, then I have to decide whether the murals in a theme restaurant are live-action holograms and whether the tables float…or caused too much trouble when they floated, so they had to be grounded…

  Example: Footfall. Earth is invaded by aliens; you see alien viewpoints as well as human. A book too heavy to carry on an airplane is half over before the Herdmaster’s Advisor is dead. With what we know of the aliens, war and politics and family life, the mother ship, the human prisoners, you must determine who killed the Herdmaster’s Advisor and buried him in the mudpool, and why.

  An author’s problem doesn’t change if it’s an Philadelphia detective protecting an Amish woman who witnessed a murder, or if everyone involved is an Australian outback Abo. The author doesn’t have to invent Amish or Abos; but the research can be difficult…as difficult as the author desires. Motivation for a murder depends powerfully on sociology. The author is always obliged to understand the people he’s writing about.

  That’s why I don’t write more Gil “the ARM” Hamilton stories. I love working on a world of eighteen billion people, with a United Nations cop whose main concerns are organleggers and the Fertility Laws. But the puzzles are hard to write!

  And yet the games are endlessly entertaining. In The Patchwork Girl I used all the classics—dying message, disappearing weapon made of ice, murder done with mirrors—and the motive. Nothing is more fun than trickery done with motives:

  “The Defenseless Dead.” Why did never-seen Anubis turn from organlegging to kidnapping, and only once? Because he only needed one hiding place….

  Why did Teela Brown arrange her own death? Because she was being watched by a vampire protector, and Louis Wu must choose his successor….

  And I’m talking about my own work because I dare not expose Peter Hamilton’s puzzle.

  But pay attention to motivation as you read “Watching Trees Grow.”

  James Patrick Baen

  Dear Jim:

  Here’s introductory material for Man-Kzin Wars II.

  Best wishes,

  Larry Niven

  Introductory Material for Man-Kzin Wars II

  The franchise universe lives!

  When I first began sneaking into the playgrounds of other authors, I had my doubts. Still, Phil Farmer seemed to be having a lovely time reshaping the worlds he’d played in as a child. So I wrote a Dunsany story and an extrapolation of Lovecraft and an attempt at a Black Cat detective story and a study of Superman’s sex life.

  Fred Saberhagen invited me to write a Berserker story, and I found it indecently easy.

  Medea: Harlan’s World was a collaboration universe. Slow to become a book, it ultimately became a classic study of how creative minds may build and populate a solar system.

  So Jim Baen and I invited selected authors to write stories set fourteen thousand years ago, when magic still worked. We filled two books with tales of the Warlock’s era. (We also drove Niven half-nuts. The idea was for Jim to do all the work and me to take all the credit. But Jim parted company with ACE Books, and I had to learn more than I ever wanted to know about being an editor!) I entered a universe infested with lizardlike pirate-slavers, because of David Drake’s urging, and because of a notion I found irresistible: the murder of Halley’s Comet. When Susan Shwartz asked several of us to write new tales of the Thousand and One Nights, I rapidly realized that Scheherazade had overlooked a serious threat. I stayed out of Thieves’ World—too busy—but I was tempted.

  Still, would readers and the publishing industry continue to support this kind of thing? It seemed like too much fun.

  And now DC Comics has me reworking the background universe of the Green Lantern! Green Lantern is almost as old as I am! But his mythos will be mine, for the next few years at least.

  I’m having a wonderful time. I’ve got to say, being paid for this stuff feels like cheating.

&n
bsp; What began with “The Warriors” has evolved further than my own ambitions would have carried it.

  Jim Baen and I decided to open up the Man-Kzin Wars period of known space, because I don’t have the background to tell war stories. Still, I had my doubts. I have friends who can write of war; but any writer good enough to be invited to play in my universe will have demonstrated that he can make his own. Would anyone accept my offer? I worried also that intruders might mess up the playground, by violating my background assumptions.

  But the kzinti have been well treated, and I’m learning more about them than I ever expected. You too will be charmed and fascinated by kzinti family life as shown in “The Children’s Hour,” not to mention Pournelle’s and Stirling’s innovative use of stasis fields. Likewise there is Dean Ing’s look at intelligent stone-age kzinti females: Ing finished his story for the first volume, then just kept writing. Now Pournelle and Stirling are talking about doing the same.

  I too have found that known space stories keep getting longer. It’s a fun universe, easier to enter than to leave.

  One thing I hoped for when I opened up the Warlock’s universe to other writers. I had run out of ideas. I hoped to be reinspired. My wish was granted, and I have written several Warlock’s-era stories since.

  If the same doesn’t hold for the era of the Man-Kzin Wars, it won’t be the fault of the authors represented here. I’m having a wonderful time reading known space stories that I didn’t have to write. If I do find myself reinspired, these stories will have done it.

  James Patrick Baen

  Dear Jim:

  I enclose:

  Photocopied material from the Ringworld Game.

  Material of my own.

  Two letters from John Hewitt, along with several pages (his work) of selected quotes and suggestions for stories and story material.

  My letter to Hewitt.

  Together, these ought to be enough to make up our “bible” for the Man-Kzin Wars.

  I offered John $500 for permission to photocopy this stuff. I am told that I don’t need his permission; I don’t care. In any case, he’s gone much further than he was asked to. He’s given references I missed and made suggestions for the anthology itself, and saved me a lot of work.

  Look it over. I think we have our “bible.”

  Who shall be our writers? I haven’t exactly been keeping my mouth shut, and one result is that Roland Green wants to write one of our stories. I’m not familiar with his work. We’ve already asked David Brin and Jerry Pournelle. Maybe we’ve asked Poul Anderson; if not, we should. Joe Haldeman should be in.

  I got Chaosium’s permission to photocopy Game material. They like that. They avow that it’s exactly what they want: the Ringworld Game material becoming part of the known space canon. Further, they made an interesting suggestion. Shall we ask John Hewitt to submit a story? He’s sure as hell researched the subject.

  Four to six writers. If we want more, you or Jerry know who wrote the best stories for There Shall Be War. [Jerry Pournelle’s anthology series.]

  Best wishes,

  Larry Niven

  Canon for the Man-Kzin Wars

  I’ve included a couple of pages of my own; but most of this material consists of two letters from John Hewitt, several pages of his suggestions for stories, story backgrounds, soft spots in the known space literature, and so forth; and many photocopied pages from the Ringworld Game by Chaosium.

  The Ringworld Game material is for reference only. (If you quote, quote from my work. However, a lot of this is quotes from my work.) On any given story you probably won’t need most of this material; so don’t be daunted by the bulk. Most of the material was written by John Hewitt, from my books and from extensive conversations at conventions.

  Hewitt’s notes are current for the Ringworld era, centuries after the Fourth Man-Kzin War. Dates are sometimes given. In every case you’ll have to scale things backward. Example: asteroids as described in the Belt section are not nearly so civilized, and some haven’t even been settled, as of the First Man-Kzin War (or War with Men.) Believe the dates in the notes if they conflict with dates given in the Niven stories. Believe later Niven stories in preference to earlier. Hewitt and I half busted our minds reconciling inconsistencies.

  There were major “incidents” as well as the four wars. (“The Soft Weapon” in Neutron Star describes a minor “incident.”) “Six times over several centuries, the kzinti attacked the worlds of men…” I’ve forgotten where the quote comes from, but at least two “incidents” must have been major ones.

  I’ve included a bibliography. You may or may not need it. Over twenty years I’ve set no stories during any of the Man-Kzin Wars. Get the dates and place names right, get the technology right, and you’ll have an otherwise free hand.

  Technology

  FIRST WAR: the kzinti have been using gravity generators for at least hundreds of years, probably thousands. Human ships often use Bussard ramjets, manufactured by Skyhook Enterprises. Human society is pacifistic—partly due to Brennan’s efforts; see Protector and the notes on the Pak—but they find they can use many of their reaction drives as weapons. Examples: fusion drives, the lasers used to launch interstellar light sails, ramrobots used as missiles moving at relativistic velocities…

  When We Made It buys the hyperdrive, it’s the beginning of the end for the kzinti. (Note, however, that the singularity around a Sol-type star extends beyond Pluto. Hyperdrive is most useful for reconnaissance, courier ships, and for attacking the kzinti in deep space, en route to a battle. Strategy might be to find a fleet en route, use hyperdrive to get within a light-minute, fire a big laser, and be gone before the light alerts the fleet to your presence.) SECOND WAR: the hyperdrive will have proliferated. Skyhook Enterprises will have died in bankruptcy. Hyperdrive motors will have been barred from the Patriarchy, but the Patriarchy will have a few anyway. The gravity generator will be coming into extensive use in human space.

  THIRD WAR: given as a bigger push than the second.

  FOURTH WAR: given as a desperation move, with kzinti suicide attacks. SLAVER STASIS BOXES may contain odd bits of technology: anything that can be lost during the story, and anything that I have given as later technology (such as the thrusters used in the Ringworld stories). May be found by kzinti or by men.

  EARTH: officially Earth is going through an ice age. The sun’s output of neutrinos hasn’t varied, and it indicates that the sun is not presently undergoing fusion, or not much. Earth doesn’t notice. What heat the sun doesn’t supply is easily replaced by fusion plants and beamed power from solar power satellites.

  KZIN: there are descriptions of a hunting park and of the House of the Patriarch’s Past, the major museum on Kzin, both in RINGWORLD.

  PUPPETEERS: are probably active behind the scenes, but humans don’t know of them, and the kzinti don’t either.

  Larry Niven

  The Known Space Bibliography

  WORLD OF PTAVVS paperback novel, Ballantine, 1966. Material is probably not important to the Wars. Earth in the early 22nd century.

  NEUTRON STAR collected stories, paperback, from Ballantine. Most of these stories follow the Wars. Includes:

  “NEUTRON STAR”

  “AT THE CORE”

  “A RELIC OF EMPIRE”

  “THE SOFT WEAPON” was a minor incident between wars. Could have turned major.

  “FLATLANDER”

  “THE ETHICS OF MADNESS” takes place before the First War with Men.

  “THE HANDICAPPED”

  “GRENDEL”

  A GIFT FROM EARTH paperback novel, Ballantine, 1968. A look at Plateau civilization. By the end of the novel, kzinti may well be entering Sol system.

  RINGWORLD novel, Ballantine, paperback. Details of kzinti and puppeteer society; but beware! Kzinti were more pacifistic and reasonable, and had better control of their tempers, after four Wars winnowed out the tough ones.

  PROTECTOR novel, paperback, Ballantine. Detailed treatment of P
ak and human protectors. Sol system, as found by the kzinti, was rendered pacifistic partly by Brennan’s maneuverings; though Brennan was dead before the kzinti reached Sol.

  TALES OF KNOWN SPACE collected stories, paper, Ballantine. Includes:

  “THE COLDEST PLACE”

  “BECALMED IN HELL”

  “WAIT IT OUT”

  “EYE OF AN OCTOPUS”—Martians

  “HOW THE HEROES DIE”—Martians

  “THE JIGSAW MAN”

  “AT THE BOTTOM OF A HOLE”—Martians “INTENT TO DECEIVE”

  “CLOAK OF ANARCHY”

  “THE WARRIORS” is our first glimpse of the kzinti.

  “THE BORDERLAND OF SOL”

  “THERE IS A TIDE”

  “SAFE AT ANY SPEED”

  Afterthoughts and bibliography

  THE LONG ARM OF GIL HAMILTON collected stories, paper, Ballantine. A look at Sol in early twenty-second century. With this or The Patchwork Girl you probably don’t need World of Ptavvs. Includes:

  “DEATH BY ECSTASY”

  “THE DEFENSELESS DEAD”

  “ARM”

  “AFTERWORD”

  THE RINGWORLD ENGINEERS serial: Galileo, July, September, November 1979, and January 1980 paperback, Ballantine THE PATCHWORK GIRL trade paperback, illustrated, Ace The Long Arm of Gil Hamilton and The Patchwork Girl were specifically exempted from the Chaosium game. If you want material on that era, you’ll have to buy the books themselves; but the Man-Kzin Wars took place hundreds of years later.

  —Larry Niven

  Tarzana, CA 91356

  October 15, 1984

  John Hewitt

  418 Boynton Ave.

  Berkeley, CA 94707

  .vs 16

  Dear John:

  I don’t think we’ll need to reprint any of this material. If we do, we’ll discuss it separately. My specific intent is to send photocopies of it to Jim Baen and to anyone whom we invite to write a story for the book(s).