Unworthy

by Evans, A. K.

  “Trent?” I called.

  “Yeah?”

  “What are you doing?”

  He looked back at me and responded, “Getting a condom.”

  I reached out and grabbed his wrist. “No.”

  He raised his brows. “No?”

  “We’ve had enough between us all these years,” I stated. “I don’t want anything between us anymore.”

  Surprise came over his face.

  “Are you on birth control?” he asked.

  This was going to ruin what I wanted with him. I shook my head and answered honestly, “No.”

  Trent seemed unsure. “You want to risk a pregnancy?”

  “It’s not a risk, Trent. I’m not saying I want it to happen right now, but I can’t think of anything more beautiful right now than being able to make a baby with you. I wouldn’t be upset if it happened.”

  Trent stared at me.

  The look he gave me made me start to question just how crazy I was. Not wanting him to feel pressured into it, I decided to give him an out. “I’m sorry,” I quickly spat. “That was probably a little too much a little too soon.”

  “Quiet, Delaney,” he ordered. “Don’t apologize. We’re using a condom this time, though.”

  Feeling slightly embarrassed, I pressed my lips together and nodded.

  Trent leaned over, pulled out a condom, and expertly slid it on.

  Seconds later, he settled himself over me, his hips between my parted thighs. He kissed me, long and hard.

  I got over my embarrassment and melted right back into him.

  “There’s my girl,” he murmured against my lips.

  “Trent,” I whispered.

  “Delaney.”

  I could feel the tip of him right between my legs and couldn’t wait anymore. “Make love to me.”

  With those four words, Trent pushed inside. He buried himself to the root, shoved his face in my neck, and stayed there.

  It was overwhelming. I knew it because I felt it, too.

  His voice was husky when he said, “Fifteen years, baby. Fuck, sixteen years I wanted this.”

  “It’s yours, Trent. You have it now. Take it, baby.”

  He turned his head to the side, pressed his lips to the skin at my throat, and lifted himself up onto his forearms. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. Then, he moved.

  And it was beautiful.

  Trent moved slowly; I’m certain he was overcome with just as much emotion as me.

  One awful decision I made led us to missing out on this for all those years. And with each slow, beautiful thrust, I wondered why I ever made a choice to live without him.

  Why did I choose to break him when this is what we could have had?

  Suddenly, Trent stopped moving. I snapped my eyes to his.

  “Don’t go there, Delaney. Stay here with me,” he pleaded.

  I gave him an encouraging smile and he started moving again. That was it.

  “There you go,” he approved, noting the shift in my mindset.

  Because it had.

  From that point forward, I thought of nothing but Trent and me and everything he was doing.

  He moved slow; he moved fast. He used his mouth; he used his hands.

  In the end, Trent rolled us once, going to his back, and used his arms to keep me planted against his body while he thrust his hips relentlessly into mine.

  I felt my orgasm build quick and couldn’t stop it from taking over. I cried out on top of him, so overcome with emotion that I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was like I was no longer in control of my body or any of my senses. All I could do was feel what he gave me and love every single minute of it.

  Minutes later, when I’d finally gotten some sense of myself back, Trent was still moving in me. He’d slowed things down as I rode the wave of pleasure, but he was no longer interested in slow. He flipped me to my back again, brought his hands to my hips, and powered into me.

  “Oh, Trent,” I moaned.

  Could I die? I thought. Could I die from having sex that was this phenomenal?

  I didn’t know how it was even possible considering what I’d just been given, but Trent had built me up to a second orgasm in no time at all.

  “Come with me, Delaney,” he growled.

  And I did.

  This one was nowhere near as powerful as the first, but far more spectacular. I was certain it had everything to do with the fact that Trent came right along with me. And seeing that was far better than I could have ever imagined.

  He collapsed briefly on top of me before rolling to his back again and taking me with him. We stayed like that a long time, neither of us saying a thing. Trent’s fingertips traced lazily along the skin of my lower back.

  “That was amazing,” I purred when my breathing finally returned to normal. I lifted my head, rested my chin on his chest, and added, “You’re amazing.”

  Trent grinned at me. He lifted his head, gave me a quick kiss, and rolled to the side. “Be right back,” he stated before he got up and walked to the bathroom.

  I climbed under his covers, curled myself up in a ball and, with my head on his pillow, waited for him to return.

  It didn’t take him long.

  When he walked back in, he lifted the blankets and slid in next to me. He pulled me close to him, my front to his, and kissed the top of my head.

  “I’m sorry.”

  The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

  Trent’s body tensed.

  “For what?” he asked.

  “For nearly ruining this,” I clarified. “I wasn’t thinking clearly and should have known that what I was asking for was crazy. It was just that I was feeling so much. And we’ve been through so much. I didn’t want anything between us anymore. Not even a condom. It was selfish of me.”

  “Sweet cheeks, look at me,” he ordered.

  I tipped my head back to look at him.

  Once he had my eyes, he used the softest, most gentle voice when he explained, “No joke, I was about five seconds away from giving in to what you asked for because I want that just as bad as you do. But you’ve got a lot ahead of you right now. And it fucks with my head to even say this when we did what we just did, but you’re still married. The day I know I’m making a choice to do something that can result in my baby being inside you, I need to know you’re not still legally bound to someone else like that. If we’d done that tonight and you ended up pregnant, I’d want to slip a ring on your finger. I can’t do that because even though there isn’t technically one there, it still is. Add to that the stress of a divorce and a custody battle and I’ve got to be honest, that’s not something I want the woman who’s carrying my child to have to deal with.”

  Oh God.

  What had I been thinking?

  I closed my eyes and whispered, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think.”

  “Delaney, I don’t need an apology. I love that you want that with me. What you said about having a baby with me is even better. We’ve been through a lot. Let’s take our time and get through one thing at a time. I have no doubts, sweet cheeks, that we’re going to get there this time. We’ll get to where we should have always gone.”

  “Don’t let me screw this up again,” I warned, the worry in my voice unmistakable.

  “Baby…” He trailed off.

  Once again, my mouth spoke of its own volition. “I love you.”

  Trent pulled me closed and returned, “I love you, too.”

  It was still early in the evening, but it didn’t matter. Neither one of us moved. After entirely too many years apart, there was no way we wanted to be anywhere but inside one another’s arms.

  I woke up feeling incredibly warm.

  The reason for this was two-fold.

  First, I was curled up in Trent’s bed, under a mound of sheets and blankets, and I was tucked tight to his body. The second reason I was so warm was because not only did he have his front pressed into my
back, but he also had both hands on me. Trent had one arm shoved between my body and his very comfortable mattress. The other was draped over my naked hip. That hand had been splayed across my belly but started making its descent south a few moments ago.

  Within seconds, his fingers had slipped between my legs.

  Not only did I feel the heat of him at my back, I also felt his hard cock pressing into me.

  If there was one thing I learned about Trent last night, it was that the man had some serious stamina. Following our initial love-making session, I thought we’d both doze off until the morning.

  We did.

  Or, at least, I did. I assumed that Trent did as well.

  But roughly three hours later, he woke me up and had his way with me again. I only knew the amount of time that had passed because when he took off to the bathroom to dispose of the condom, I checked my phone to make sure I hadn’t missed any calls. I wasn’t expecting any, but whenever Tate wasn’t with me, I found myself checking the phone more frequently.

  We fell back asleep following the midnight romp, but that was only for a nap. Because Trent woke me up again two hours later.

  I was so exhausted by the time we’d finished, the last thing I remembered was seeing him walk into the bathroom.

  Now, we were here again.

  I didn’t mind.

  In fact, I loved it.

  But there was no way I could have another orgasm before handling some other business this morning.

  I leaned back, dropping my shoulder into Trent’s chest. He shifted slightly, allowing me the space to move.

  “Trent, baby?” I called.

  He continued to work his hand between my legs as he replied, “Yeah?”

  Damn. He was even beautiful first thing in the morning.

  “I can’t have sex again,” I advised.

  He pulled his arm out from underneath me, propped himself up on his elbow, and raised his brows. “Why’s that?”

  At this point, he hadn’t stopped the movement of his fingers between my legs and I was growing more and more turned on, making it incredibly difficult to think straight. Uncertain that I’d be able to formulate a coherent response, I decided it was best to give him a visual.

  I brought my hands to the top of the blanket and pushed it, along with the sheet, down my body far enough to expose my breasts. Trent’s eyes dropped to my chest and heated.

  “Fuck, those look amazing,” he marveled.

  “I haven’t pumped since last night when we got back,” I noted.

  His gaze returned to mine. “Is Tate’s supply low?”

  I blinked, trying to understand what he was asking and failing miserably because I couldn’t concentrate with all he was doing to me with his fingers. “What?”

  “The frozen milk supply,” he clarified. “Is it dwindling?”

  Shaking my head, I divulged, “I’ve got at least six months of reserve socked away.”

  Trent’s eyes widened, and his hand stopped moving. He stared at me, not speaking a single word.

  “Trent?” I called.

  “You’ve got six months’ worth of frozen breast milk and you’re turning down sex?” he asked, incredulously.

  “I’m not worried about depleting his supply,” I started. “But my breasts feel incredibly heavy right now. Part of that is what you were doing to me, but most of it is because it’s been hours. We’ll be one sticky mess if I don’t take care of this now.”

  Trent grinned and leaned toward me. “Then it’s a good thing I’ve got a shower, isn’t it?”

  He lightly touched his mouth to mine before dropping it to my chest. His hand that had been between my legs came up and cupped one of my breasts while his mouth closed over the opposite one.

  He groaned.

  “Trent.”

  He licked and a sucked gently for just a touch longer. Lifting his mouth from me, he ordered, “Roll to your side, sweet cheeks.”

  I turned to my side, facing away from him. I heard the familiar sound of a condom wrapper behind me.

  I assumed he’d gotten that squared away because the next thing I knew, Trent shoved his arm under me again. Only this time, he curled his arm up so he could cup his hand over one of my breasts.

  “Tilt your hips.”

  I did as he asked and felt him slid right through my wetness and into me.

  I let out a moan. Trent’s opposite hand went back between my legs where he found my clit and teased me.

  And then he moved.

  Trent was a talented man.

  He was an expert at building me up just enough to not send me over the edge. He had the ability to deliver my orgasm and refused to do it until he was ready for it to happen.

  This morning, it seemed, Trent was withholding my orgasm.

  When he’d brought me nearly there twice and didn’t send me soaring, I begged, “Please.”

  “Not yet,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m not done playing with you.”

  “You can keep playing, baby,” I promised. “Please let me come.”

  “Kiss me,” he urged.

  I twisted my neck and looked back at him. Just before he took my mouth, he said, “I want you to come with me, Delaney.”

  When he put it like that, I couldn’t say I minded. Coming at the same time as Trent was beyond magical. If that’s what he wanted, I’d find a way to deal with my frustration and give it to him.

  Thankfully, Trent didn’t make me wait too much longer. I knew he was going to give me what I needed when his hips began moving faster, his cock pounding into me.

  Sure enough, within seconds, he didn’t just take me to the edge. He sent me over and it was, by far, one of the most intense I’d had over the course of the last nine or ten hours. Considering I’d had more than a handful in that time, it was certainly saying something.

  We came down from the high, and Trent carefully slid out of me before he gave me a kiss on the shoulder and stated, “Be back.”

  I was utterly spent, so I didn’t move.

  It wasn’t until I felt the bed dip with Trent’s weight, and he gave me a hand towel.

  “What’s this for?” I wondered.

  “I’d like to say it’s because you’re drenched between your legs, which well, you are, but instead I’ll just say that I’m going to get you your pump,” he replied.

  I glanced down and noticed what was going on. Trent’s sheets were soaked, and my boobs were leaking like crazy.

  “Oh no,” I murmured as I rushed to sit up and cover them with the towel.

  Trent returned to the bed with the bag that carried my pump and all the supplies. “What do you need me to do?”

  I gave Trent instructions on how to assemble the pump, and after everything was set, I held the cups up to my already leaking nipples. Once that was squared away, I looked to find Trent walking to the door. He glanced back and shared, “I’m going to get breakfast started.”

  “Okay.”

  As I sat there waiting, I reached over and grabbed my phone off the nightstand. It was early, but I knew she’d be awake. So, I tapped out a quick text to Gloria.

  Me: I’m sitting in Trent’s bed right now and I’m pumping while he makes breakfast.

  I didn’t have to wait long for a response.

  Gloria: Oooh, girl. How was it?

  Wanting to let her know it was all good without giving her all of the juicy details just yet, I sent a reply.

  Me: I’ve lost count of how many orgasms I’ve had.

  Gloria: Tuesday. After you get the little man from daycare, you are stopping by my place. I want ALL the details.

  Me: See you then!

  A few minutes later, I’d expressed all the milk that was left after a good portion had already leaked out of me. I cleaned myself up, got the milk in the freezer bags, grabbed one of Trent’s t-shirts, and slipped it over my head.

  Then, I stripped his bed.

  Unsure of where the laundry room was, I went in search of it. I found it, dumped the sh
eets in the washing machine, and went back to the bedroom to retrieve the milk before moving to the kitchen.

  When I came into view, Trent looked up and gave me an approving nod. After putting the milk in the freezer, I lamented, “I’m so sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “Making a mess of your bed,” I explained. “I stripped the sheets and threw them in the washing machine already.”

  “Delaney, come here,” he ordered from where he was standing making waffles.

  There was something alarmingly scary in his tone, so I didn’t delay in making my way to him.

  As soon as I was there, he brought a hand up and cupped the side of my cheek. He stroked his thumb along the skin there and stated, “I need you to stop apologizing to me. There was one thing that I needed an apology for. You gave it to me when you told me the truth about our break up. Everything else you’ve apologized for over the last couple days has been absolutely unnecessary, especially this. What happened this morning in my bed is not anything I need an apology for. You warned me what would happen; I didn’t care. I still don’t.”

  I took a deep swallow and rasped, “I’ve embarrassed myself.”

  “Baby, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he started. “It’s incredibly sexy.”

  “What?”

  His face softened. “There’s the obvious reason of their considerable size, making them a whole lot of fun. But I had my hands on you and I knew just how turned on you were because the closer you got to an orgasm, the more they leaked. I liked knowing just how much you were enjoying what I was giving you. Beyond that, though, it’s so much more. I haven’t seen you a whole lot with Tate, but from what I have seen, I know you’re an amazing mom. The fact that you are doing what you’ve got to do to give us this weekend, but keeping him your priority, is a turn-on. My parents didn’t give two shits about me. What you’ve done for Tate these past two days is more than my parents did for me my entire life. I love seeing how much you care about him.”

  Wow.

  That was really nice to hear.

  Life as a single mom was tough, so it felt good to know that someone thought I was doing a decent job.

  “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

  He shrugged. “Just speaking the truth.”