Unworthy

by Evans, A. K.

  I called Tyson to see if they were still there and discovered that they did what needed to be done and then some. Apparently, after they’d witnessed what happened that afternoon, they wanted to do what they could to expedite completion of the renovation.

  So, given Delaney’s determination and the fact that my guys were still going strong, we drove back to the house. During that time, I tried to give Delaney the time to process what was going on. I believed she would talk to me about all of it after she had a chance to work through it on her own.

  Once there, she dove right back in to work. I did the same, only after giving Levi an update on the situation. In our line of work, it was difficult not to feel the overwhelming urge to want to take care of someone in a situation like this. Even though Delaney was a strong woman, she still deserved to have people standing behind her that would be there to help her whenever she needed it. I knew Levi and the rest of my co-workers would do just that.

  We put in a few more hours at the house, thanked the guys for helping out, and came back to my place. The two of us showered, ate a late dinner, and decided to call it a night. Delaney was determined to get up early and get back to work on the house in the morning. Since I wanted us living together as soon as possible, I didn’t argue it.

  But now that we were in bed, her back to my front and my body curled around hers, it seemed she wasn’t ready to sleep. Instead, she was still thinking about the house. Oddly enough, she wasn’t making much sense.

  “What do you mean you ordered the wrong flooring?” I asked. “We discussed the plans earlier in the week. The place you suggested we order it from sent over the invoice the other day and I paid it.”

  “When I was pregnant with Tate,” she said.

  That’s when I realized Delaney had taken the time she needed to process what happened today and was ready to talk about it. Unfortunately, I could already tell I wasn’t going to like what she had to share. Even still, I wanted her to know that she could trust I’d be there for her, so I did my best to keep the tension out of my body.

  “Tell me what happened,” I urged her, my voice gentle.

  “I’d been working for years in the same position with Keith’s company,” she began. “I was good at what I did. No, I was great at designing homes and businesses. Clients loved me. And I loved my job. Considering it was my husband’s business, I took on extra roles to help make the business a success. I worked hard and was always on top of getting things done and getting them done right.”

  That sounded like Delaney. She wasn’t ever one to do anything with half the effort. No matter what the situation, she’d always do what she felt was best, not what was easiest.

  “But then I got pregnant,” she went on. “I was fortunate enough to not be extraordinarily sick during the early stages of my pregnancy. It was great because it allowed me to continue working, doing something I truly loved doing. I was tired, though. I can’t remember a time in my life when I ever felt so worn-out before. Every single day, no matter how much sleep I got the night before, I was exhausted. Honestly, it was like I was walking around in a fog for weeks because I was so drained.”

  She paused a moment. While she took that break, I allowed my fingers to gently trace over the skin at her hip.

  Delaney pressed on. “We were in the midst of working on a massive project, an entire development. That wasn’t necessarily a big deal for us. We’d done it a bunch of times before then. But we hadn’t taken on a project that size since before I’d ended up pregnant. Even though it was apparent to anyone who saw me just how much the pregnancy was taking out of me, nobody stepped in to lighten my load. I wasn’t looking for that either. I was good at my job and many parts of it were as simple as breathing for me. So, it never dawned on me that perhaps I should consider asking for help. Instead, I kept pushing myself to do everything I’d always done. And that’s when I made my first and last mistake in the business. I ordered the wrong flooring.”

  My fingers stopped tracing over her hip. I flattened my palm to the skin there and gave her a light squeeze of encouragement.

  “It was a fifty-thousand-dollar mistake. Keith had been tidying up loose ends on the last project we’d been working on, so he wasn’t there when I received the flooring shipment. I stood there staring at it for the longest time and realized I needed to ask for a bit of help until I was back to feeling like myself again. I was utterly shocked when I realized what I’d done, and the flooring was unable to be returned since it was a custom order item. That evening, Keith came home, and he’d brought it up. Initially, I thought the conversation was going like any other conversation we’d ever had about projects we were working on. But then he started getting nasty with me and speaking to me with such disrespect. I was so caught off guard because I’d never seen that side of him. Even though I apologized for the mistake, he was livid with me.”

  I could feel the anger starting to bubble up inside me. Delaney went on to repeat what she’d shared earlier that day with me about how he’d gotten physical with her in a very unacceptable way.

  “I was terrified,” she continued. “Not once before in my life had I ever felt so scared for my physical safety. I didn’t know it was possible to feel that scared. In that moment, I knew my fear had everything to do with my overwhelming instinct to protect myself for the sake of my unborn child. So, I packed up my things and stayed in a hotel for a week before I made the decision to leave him. When I broke the news to him that I was leaving, I had him meet me in a public place. I continued to work for him throughout the remainder of my pregnancy, but I had very strict conditions. I refused to be alone with him and he showed some decency by honoring that. I think he believed I was going to get back together with him once Tate was born. While I kept him informed throughout the pregnancy about appointments and the baby’s progress, I never had any intention of going back to him. As hard as it was those first few months of being a single mom, I don’t regret the choice I made to leave him. I knew I’d be tired then, too, and my priority was making sure that I kept myself and my son safe. I didn’t want to be worried how he’d react if I made a mistake because I was so tired.”

  It was then that something dawned on me. And it was something I didn’t like in the least.

  “Delaney?” I said.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’d never, ever lay a hand on you like that,” I stated, my voice firm.

  She dropped her shoulder and pushed it back into my chest. I shifted a bit, allowing her to fall to her back beside me.

  “I know that,” she assured me.

  “You crawled out of bed early this morning to sit and review all the things we’d already discussed for the house, and you specifically mentioned a fifty-thousand-dollar mistake. I understand now where your head was at, but it upsets me that you think I’d get angry over something like that.”

  “Fifty-thousand dollars is a lot of money, Trent,” she reasoned.

  “There’s no amount of money that would ever justify scaring or hurting you, sweet cheeks. I’m sorry you were ever made to feel that way.”

  Delaney curled herself into my body so that we were pressed together, my front to hers, and remained silent for several minutes.

  “Money makes people do crazy, horrible things,” she mumbled after some time had passed.

  I gave her a squeeze in response.

  We laid there like that for a long while, neither of us saying anything. Eventually, I felt her lips press against the skin of my chest.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  “I love you, too.”

  Delaney continued to kiss my chest as one of her hands roamed over my body. As she did that, I felt compelled to offer her reassurance, “You’ll always be safe with me, Delaney.”

  “I know.”

  “No matter what happens, I’d never hurt you.”

  Her mouth began moving along my throat.

  “I’ll always protect you,” I promised.

  Her lips came to mine. Bef
ore she kissed me, I vowed, “I’ll do the same for your boy, too.”

  At that, Delaney crushed her mouth to mine and dipped her tongue inside.

  I rolled her to her back again, settled my hips between her parted thighs, and demonstrated just how deeply I felt for her.

  “Ma, ma, ma, ma.”

  The sound coming out of my little boy while he sat on a blanket in the middle of the room melted my heart. It seemed that sometime over the weekend, Tate started learning to chatter a lot. He’d been making grunts and noises here and there over the last couple of weeks, but this was the first I was hearing something that could easily be considered his first words.

  I’d heard him say them last night for the first time. After I left work, I picked him up from daycare, fed him dinner, and played with him for a while before giving him his bath and putting him down for the night. While we played, he was chattering up a storm.

  Once I had Tate in bed last night, I called Trent and told him that I was certain I’d heard Tate’s first words. I was bummed Trent hadn’t been there to hear them, too, but he insisted I have my time alone with Tate on his first day back from his father’s house. I loved that he was unselfish enough to give that to me, and more importantly, to Tate.

  But now it was Tuesday evening, and Trent had also missed my boy. So, when he finished at work, he came over and had dinner with us.

  And for the first time since he’d arrived, Tate was talking.

  “Did you hear that?” I squealed from my spot on the blanket opposite of him.

  Trent smiled. “I did.”

  “He’s saying ‘mom,’ right? I’m not making it up,” I pressed him for clarification.

  “That was definitely a couple of ‘moms’ I heard,” Trent confirmed.

  I started clapping and cooed at my baby. “Your first word was ‘mama,’ baby. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Ma, ma, maaaa,” Tate returned.

  “That’s right, buddy. I’m your mama.”

  Tate got back to playing with his colorful ring stacker. This meant he’d hold a ring up to his mouth or start banging it on anything he could find, even if that something was just the floor.

  While Tate played, I looked over to find Trent was watching me.

  “What’s that look for?” I asked.

  “Incredible,” he stated.

  “What?”

  “I haven’t been around long enough to see any of his early milestones, but this is a really good one to start with,” he explained.

  Tate dropped forward to his hands and began rocking back and forth on all fours while he babbled, “Ma, ma, ma.”

  Suddenly, a feeling of sadness washed over me. I frowned and pushed out my bottom lip.

  “Sweet cheeks,” Trent called through a chuckle. “What’s wrong?”

  Bringing my eyes to his, I said, “I feel like he’s grown so much since I dropped him off with his father last week. What do you think? Does he look bigger to you?”

  Tate had rocked himself so much, he’d managed to scoot himself over to Trent. I watched with avid fascination as Trent fell to his back on the blanket with Tate and wrapped his arm around him.

  “While I have no doubts that this kid is growing by the minute, I don’t think his growth in the last two and a half days is noticeable.”

  He was probably right.

  But this only served to send my mind whirling with thoughts of courts, lawyers, legal battles, and custody hearings.

  “Where’d you go, Delaney?” Trent asked, snapping me out of it.

  A lump formed in my throat. “I can’t lose him, Trent. I can’t have him away from me more than he already is. I don’t want to miss these moments. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but I just don’t know how I’ll cope if this goes through court and they take my baby away from me.”

  Tate had, with a bit of help, climbed up on Trent’s chest. Not even remotely fazed by this, Trent held the yellow ring up in front of Tate. He managed to entertain my baby while keeping his eyes trained on me.

  His face was serious, and his tone was firm when he insisted, “Nobody is going to take him away from you.”

  “Maybe not completely, but my time with him could end up being reduced if Keith is successful in his push for custody.”

  Trent sighed. “Unfortunately, that’s a possibility. It concerns me now, especially after speaking with Detective Baines. No matter how much we might not like it, your ex has rights, too. And as much as I’d like for him to continue slipping up so that you can continue to file reports on him, I’m afraid I can’t allow that to happen.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “The fact that he has a clean record isn’t going to help us get the outcome you want. Unfortunately, we don’t know yet how the prosecutor is going to handle this case. Detective Baines is going to do what he can, but with this being the only incident, the prosecutor might decide not to file charges. Obviously, if there were more complaints, or at least some frequency with them, the odds of charges being filed would be higher. As much as it would help your case if he did something to you again, it’s not an option. You won’t be going to drop Tate off alone anymore because I’ll be going with you.”

  I raised my brows. “I’m not?”

  Shaking his head, Trent insisted, “I’m afraid not. He’s lost his temper twice now with you. He’s not going to have the opportunity to do it again.”

  I didn’t know if Trent thought I was going to argue that or not, but I had no problem accepting his request. If he needed the peace of mind that I was safe by going with me when I dropped Tate off, I wasn’t going to prevent him from having that.

  “Okay,” I agreed. “I’d really appreciate that.”

  “Good.”

  Tate, still on Trent’s chest, had started showing signs he was ready for bed. He was no longer sitting up. Instead, he was now on his belly on Trent’s chest and his eyelids were getting heavy.

  “I’m so glad I gave him a bath right after dinner,” I started. “He looks like he’s not going to last much longer. Do you want me to take him?”

  Trent put his hand to Tate’s back. “If you’re cool with it, I’m cool with him falling asleep here. I’ll carry him in after you tell me what your plans are for the rest of the week.”

  “Working during the day and spending time with my baby in the evenings. I’m hoping some of those evenings will include having you around, too. Except Thursday.”

  Trent’s brows pulled together. “What’s happening on Thursday?”

  “Mom’s birthday.”

  Apparently, that wasn’t enough of an explanation because Trent looked no less confused.

  “I visit her grave every year on her birthday,” I clarified. “I’ve always gone on Christmas, too, but it’s so cold by then. It’s already cold now, but I want Tate there for her birthday. I’ll just make it a quick trip. I can go back when it warms up again and have a longer visit.”

  Trent’s free hand stretched out toward me. His voice was so gentle when he urged, “Come here, sweet cheeks.”

  I crawled over to him and nuzzled into him. He curled his arm around my back before he offered, “I can go with you.”

  Looking up at him, I said, “Thank you for offering, but I think I need to go on my own for this visit.”

  “Delaney, I’m not offering to intrude on your time with your mom. That’s precious; I understand it because I go and visit Gram on her birthday, too. I’ll go with you so you can take Tate and let him have some time there for her birthday, but then I’ll wait with him back in the warm truck so you can take the time you need to talk to her.”

  “You’d do that for me?”

  He gave me a disbelieving look. “Is that a serious question?”

  “It was a silly one.”

  I shifted my body up so I could give him a kiss. Then, I placed my palm over Tate’s head. My thumb stroked back and forth over the soft, fine hair there as I looked at his sleeping face.

  “He’s
out,” I whispered.

  “It’s a tough job,” Trent declared.

  My head tipped to the side. “What is?” I asked.

  “All that growing and playing he does,” Trent teased.

  I smiled at him before I pressed a kiss to Tate’s chubby cheek. Another ten minutes passed with Trent holding me and Tate in his arms. And that was all I needed and wanted in my life. Feeling safe and protected in the arms of the man I loved, knowing he felt the same for me and my little boy in return.

  When we peeled ourselves off the floor, Trent carried Tate to his room where he pressed a kiss to the top of his head before placing him in his crib. It was then I knew that no matter how bad things would be in the coming weeks for me, all I’d need is to see my man being sweet to my baby and everything else would fade away.

  “I won’t be long.”

  Trent took Tate out of my hands after he’d met me halfway between where he’d parked his truck and my mom’s grave. As he promised, he’d given me and Tate some time to sit there with her while he waited back by the truck. The second he saw me standing up to walk Tate back, he began moving toward me.

  “Take your time, sweet cheeks. Tate and I will be fine. There’s no rush.”

  “Thank you.”

  I turned and walked back to my mom. I sat back down on the blanket I’d brought and wrapped it around my body.

  “I’m back, Mom.”

  I looked at her headstone. It was beautiful. If there was one thing I could say that my father did right, it would be the way he loved my mother. It hit him hard when she passed, and he spared no expense when it came to her funeral and subsequent burial. And now, it had a gorgeous floral arrangement on it.

  “I hope you love the flowers Tate brought you today,” I said to her.

  When Trent and I talked on Wednesday night, I explained that I’d need to stop and get some flowers for my mom’s birthday. He told me about a relatively new floral shop, Petals, that had opened within the last year in Windsor. Apparently, Pierce was seriously involved with the owner. Trent told me the decision was mine but urged me to check out the shop.