Unworthy

by Evans, A. K.

  When I’d quieted down, my father spoke to Trent. “I was wrong for forcing her hand. Neither of you deserved it, but I’m glad to see she’s back with the man she loves. I’m sorry.”

  Trent dipped his chin. “I appreciate and accept your apology.”

  Wow.

  Just like that, Trent accepted my father’s apology.

  “Baby,” I whispered in awe of him.

  He glanced down at me, his face softened, and he gave me a gentle squeeze.

  Cautiously, I asked, “So, what now?”

  “That’s up to you, Delaney,” my father began. “I wanted to see you at least once so I could apologize for what I did to you. I’d love more than that, of course, but I know I don’t deserve it. I can understand if this is as far as you want things to go.”

  I closed my eyes. I had to make a choice.

  I could walk out of this house and never look back. Part of me believed that I should. My father’s actions resulted in so much heartache; I’d certainly be justified if I chose to never speak to him again.

  But would I regret it?

  What about Tate?

  If nothing else, the man sitting in front of me was not only my father but also Tate’s grandfather.

  And he was my mother’s husband.

  Even if he wasn’t the world’s best dad, he was an amazing husband and adored my mother.

  He wasn’t, by any means, perfect.

  There was one nagging thought in the back of my mind that helped me make my choice.

  So, I opened my eyes, looked at my father, and stated, “I have a son.”

  My father’s head jerked back in surprise.

  “His name is Tate, he’s eight months old, and he’s the most beautiful little boy in the whole world,” I continued. “So, as much as I want to be angry with you for what you forced me to do all those years ago, I can’t hold a grudge now. I’ll never forgive myself for saying what I said to Trent that day he stood outside the door to this house, but I can’t continue to be mad about something that led me to my son.”

  I felt Trent’s fingers press into my shoulder.

  “I…I…You had a baby?” my father stammered.

  I nodded.

  He shook his head and closed his eyes. “Biggest mistake of my life, Delaney.” He dropped his gaze to the side before he muttered, “My God, I have a grandson who’s almost a year old and I didn’t even know he existed.”

  I watched as the regret tore through my father. He may have been ruthless years ago, but he was no longer that same man. The man sitting in front of me was the one I’d remembered from when my mother was still alive.

  With my father distracted by his own thoughts, I glanced up at Trent hoping he’d know what I needed to communicate. He did. Trent understood my silent question and gave me an encouraging nod.

  “Dad?” I called for the first time in more than ten years.

  His eyes came to mine, and they were filled with tears.

  “Tate’s going to be with his father this weekend, but if you want, I’d love to bring him over next week so you can meet him.”

  That was all it took to send my father into a full meltdown. He completely broke down.

  I stood and crossed the room.

  As soon as I made it to his chair, I bent and pulled him into an embrace. He closed his arms around me as his body shook with his sobs. “I messed up, Delaney,” he cried. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

  “It’s okay,” I assured him. “We have to learn from this and move on.”

  It took him a little while, but my father eventually settled down. When he loosened his hold on me, I stepped back to look him in the eyes.

  He spoke before I had the chance. “I know I’m unworthy of the honor of being able to meet your son, honey, but I’m selfish enough that I’m going to jump at the privilege to do so. Thank you for finding it in your heart to forgive me.”

  “Mom would have found a way a long time ago to make this right,” I returned.

  Sadness befell him. “If she were still here, she would have never let this happen. I know one day soon I’m going to see her again. And when I do, she’s going to have an earful for me.”

  For the first time since I arrived, I gave him a smile.

  I couldn’t help it because he was absolutely right. I had no doubts she’d been shaking her fist at him for years.

  But now?

  Now I had a feeling she was smiling right along with us.

  “I’m out of here. I’ll see you guys on Monday,” I called out to my co-workers.

  In unison, three guys called back, “Later, Delaney.” One of them added, “Have a good weekend.”

  “You, too!” I yelled back since I’d gotten too far away.

  We’d just finished up at work, but the guys were taking their time cleaning themselves up and moving out. I was on a mission to get to my boy, so once the project was done, I hurried to leave.

  Just as I stepped outside the house we’d finished, my cell rang.

  Pulling it out of my back pocket, I saw the number calling was the company number. My belly tightened with nerves as I slid my thumb across the screen and answered, “Hello?”

  “Hi, Delaney, it’s Jim. How are you?”

  “I’m great, Jim. We actually just finished up our work on the fourth house in the Wind River Development.”

  “That’s excellent news,” he started. “Listen, I told you I was going to let you know by the end of the week about the position we interviewed you for earlier this week, so I wanted to give you a call before you started your weekend.”

  “You’ve got perfect timing because I’m walking to my car now to go pick up my son from daycare.”

  “Great. As you know, we had two other candidates from within the company that applied as well. It was a tough decision because you’re all such hard workers, but we decided to hire one of the other candidates.”

  And just like that, the wind had been knocked out of my sails. “Oh, okay,” I replied, not knowing what to say. I felt such disappointment.

  Jim must have heard it in my voice. “We really think you’ve done a great job since you’ve started with us not quite a year ago, Delaney. And hearing that you and your team have already finished the fourth house in Wind River Development a week ahead of schedule is a testament to that fact.”

  “Thank you, sir. Our team does work hard,” I agreed, opening my car door and sliding in behind the wheel.

  “Indeed,” he returned. “Well, I’ll let you go so you aren’t driving and talking on the phone. And if another position comes available that you’re interested in, please don’t let this decision dissuade you.”

  “I won’t,” I said. “Thank you again.”

  With that, I disconnected the call and turned on my car. I let out a sigh, feeling nothing but defeat. I’d really gotten myself excited and worked up over the possibility of a new position in the company doing what I loved most. As much as I wanted to sit around and sulk, I had to go and pick up my baby so I could take him to his dad’s house.

  Trent was going to be going with me to drop Tate off, so after I picked my little boy up, I went back to my place.

  Pulling up, I found Trent was already there waiting for us. He walked around to my door and opened it for me.

  “Hey,” he greeted me before giving me a kiss.

  After I kissed him back, I replied, “Hey. I need to run inside and grab Tate’s milk and some of his food. Do you mind waiting out here with him so I can do that without having to pull him out of the car again?”

  Trent shook his head. “No. Go get what you need while I say hello to the little guy.”

  I took off inside and packed the bag I needed to take with me to Keith’s. When I walked back outside, I found Trent sitting in the driver’s seat. I climbed in on the opposite side and offered, “Thanks for driving.”

  “No problem, sweet cheeks.”

  I returned a smile that wasn’t genuine, but Trent didn’t notice since he�
�d already started backing out of the spot.

  When we arrived at Keith’s, I asked, “Do you mind if I nurse him quick before I take him in?”

  “No,” Trent responded as he got out of the car and moved to the backseat. His hands worked to free Tate quickly. Then, he brought him back to the front and handed him over to me.

  Once Tate was situated and eating, Trent asked, “Are you worried?”

  “About what?”

  He jerked his head toward the house and explained, “Seeing your ex for the first time since everything went down.”

  “Maybe a little,” I replied. “I mean, I want to believe it was a wake-up call for him considering he had a change of heart regarding Tate’s custody arrangement and our divorce.”

  “How do you want me to play this?” he asked.

  Confused, I questioned, “What do you mean?”

  “If it were up to me, I’d be taking Tate and his bag up to the door while you wait here,” Trent started. “But he’s your son, so this is your decision. If you want to take him up, I’m cool with it only so long as you don’t step inside. I can walk to that door by your side, or I’m willing to hang back. I will not be sitting in this truck, though.”

  I not only understood Trent’s need to look out for me; I also appreciated it. “I’m happy for you to do whatever you’re comfortable with. I feel better knowing you’re here, and I’m not scared because of it.”

  Trent smiled as he reached out his hand and cupped my cheek. I loved the feel of it, so I leaned into it.

  Tate finished eating a few minutes later. After we got him all bundled back up again, we exited the truck. Trent grabbed Tate’s bag and walked beside me to the front door. No sooner did I ring the doorbell when the door opened.

  Keith’s eyes hit mine and I instantly saw the regret in them. I barely had the chance to let it register because his eyes left mine and shifted up and behind me. A knowing look washed over him as he slowly nodded.

  Doing his best to ignore Trent, Keith returned his attention to me and spoke. “I’m sorry, Delaney.”

  I hadn’t expected him to apologize.

  “Do you have a minute to come inside?” he asked.

  Before I had a chance to respond, Trent spoke, “I’m afraid that’s not going to happen.”

  “I’m not going to touch her,” Keith insisted. “But it’s too cold outside for Tate and Delaney and I need to talk. You’re welcome to come inside with her.”

  I looked up at Trent. He gave me a nod.

  We stepped just inside the door and Keith closed it behind us. “Why don’t you and I go to the kitchen to talk a minute?”

  “She’s not going to be out of my sight,” Trent interrupted. “You want a minute to talk, I’ll take Tate and walk a few feet away. But you aren’t going to usher her off somewhere where I won’t be able to see that she’s safe just so you can talk privately. You want privacy, you can have as much as you’ll get with me standing a few feet away.”

  Keith winced. “I bought that; I’ll take it.”

  That came as a shock.

  Trent set Tate’s bag down and took him from my arms. Just as he said he would, he walked a few feet away but never left my line of sight.

  “I’m sorry,” Keith said quietly.

  My eyes came back to his. “Thank you for the apology.”

  “I assume you heard from your attorney?” he wondered.

  Nodding, I answered, “Yes. I met with him to review and sign the papers yesterday evening.”

  Remorse was written all over Keith’s face. He seemed to need a minute to collect himself, so I asked, “What prompted the change of heart?”

  “The pictures.”

  “What?”

  Keith took in a deep breath and blew it out before he explained, “They brought me in for questioning. I didn’t say a word, but I almost did. And that was when they showed me the pictures they’d taken of your arms.”

  He shook his head, his disappointment evident.

  Keith continued, “I’m so disgusted with myself for hurting you, Delaney. I loved you. I still do. And those pictures are not evidence of that. So, after my attorney did what he had to do to see to it that I didn’t spend time in prison, I took it upon myself to seek counseling. There’s been a lot going on lately with the business that’s had me stressed. I feel like I’ve lost a bit of control there, so combining that with seeing my family fall apart got the best of me. There is no excuse for what I did to you, but I want you to know where my head was.”

  I nodded my understanding and said, “My intention wasn’t to get you arrested or have you thrown in prison, Keith. What you did to me was wrong, but more importantly, we have a baby together. I can’t risk you ever hurting him.”

  Keith winced again.

  “I promise you I’ve never laid a hand on him.”

  “I know that,” I assured him. “I just want to make sure it stays that way.”

  He gave me a nod.

  “I’m not looking to keep our son away from you. If you want extra time with Tate, just tell me. I will always do what’s best for him. And I want you to know that I believe Tate’s relationship with his father is an important one. I’d never stand in the way of that.”

  Keith closed his eyes. When they opened again, he glanced behind him to see Trent holding Tate, but Trent’s eyes focused on me. Keith returned his attention to me and admitted, “I fucked up, Delaney. I know it now more than ever. It’s evident every day I wake up and go to work, knowing that things aren’t the same there because you were the only one who went above and beyond to keep things running smoothly. You were a huge asset to the company, and it’s just not the same without you there. Most importantly, despite what my actions have shown, I truly do love you. But after seeing what I did to you, I know I’m unworthy of you. And I want you to be happy. So, I hope you’ll believe me when I say that I wish you all the best in life…and love. I’m sorry for what I did to us.”

  A tear fell from my eye. It was hard to see where life had led us. Keith was right. There weren’t any excuses he could give me that would justify his violence toward me. But deep down I knew he was a good guy. Somewhere along the line, he fell off track. It was my hope that he’d truly realized his mistake and continued to take whatever steps necessary to ensure not only the safety of our son, but for his own future as well.

  “I wish the same for you. I’m sorry to hear about the business, but I’m sure you’ll get things figured out there in no time. As for us, it didn’t work out in the end between us and I’m partly at fault for marrying you when I hadn’t given you my whole heart. That was selfish of me, and for that, I’m sorry. But I do love you as the father of my son, and I hope things can continue to be amicable and friendly between us moving forward.”

  “I’d like to see that happen, too.”

  I gave him a smile. After he returned one, I looked to Trent and gave him a nod. He made his way over to me. I took Tate from him, gave him a few kisses, listened to him giggle, and held him out to his father.

  Trent and I turned toward the door as Keith and Tate followed behind us. I stepped outside in front of Trent, so I didn’t see Keith reach his hand out to Trent’s arm. I also didn’t hear Keith say, “Give her everything she deserves.”

  And I didn’t hear Trent answer, “I’ve been planning on doing that since I was seventeen.”

  “Can we spend the night at your place tonight?” I asked as Trent drove us down the road away from Keith’s house.

  “Sure. You want to stop at your apartment first and make Tate’s food?”

  The back of my head was against the headrest, my eyes aimed out the window as I watched the scenery pass us by. At Trent’s question, I rolled my head and pointed my eyes in his direction. “He’s been eating more and more of what I make every day for dinner, so I don’t have nearly as much food to prep for him. I have a few things I still want to do for him, especially with him still being in daycare, but I can wait until Sunday night to do th
at.”

  From Trent’s profile, I could see he was thinking. I left him to it because I didn’t have it in me to strike up a conversation.

  “Is something wrong with his daycare?”

  I didn’t understand his line of questioning. “No.”

  “Oh, well the way you said that made it seem like you didn’t like him being there.”

  I didn’t. In a perfect world, I would have loved to have been able to be home with Tate every day. But life didn’t work out that way, so I had to do what I had to do. Part of that meant putting him in daycare so I could go to work. Perhaps it wouldn’t have felt so bad if I was going to work every day doing something I truly loved. It wasn’t that I hated my job, and I knew I should be grateful for the fact that I had one at all. But the truth of the matter was that I’d worked myself up so much with the new job prospect that it was hitting me just how much I wanted to become an interior designer again.

  I stayed silent, letting my mind run wild with my thoughts. Trent pulled up to a red light, looked at me, and immediately noticed.

  His brows pulled together. “Baby, what’s the matter?”

  I had no doubt the look of disappointment I was wearing only became more visible. “I didn’t get the job,” I stated flatly.

  The light changed. I only knew this because someone behind us honked.

  Trent quickly maneuvered the truck to the side of the road and put it in park. Turning in his seat, he faced me fully and reached for my hand.

  “When did you find out?” he asked.

  “Just as I was leaving work today.”

  Trent’s face grew sympathetic. “I’m sorry, sweet cheeks. I know how excited you were about that position. They hired one of the other candidates?”

  I nodded, feeling myself get emotional. “I really wanted that job,” I rasped.

  Trent’s hand gave mine a squeeze. Then, he lifted the back of my hand to his lips and kissed it. “I’m sorry, baby.”

  I shrugged. “It’s not your fault. I’m just feeling really disappointed with myself right now.”