Mason's Regret

by Odessa Lynne

  He tried a smile. His face felt stiff and uncomfortable but he wanted Five to know he wasn’t holding a grudge.

  Five’s expression didn’t soften at all. “I submit to your judgment, Mason Waters. Allow me to earn forgiveness.”

  Mason dropped the smile. “I told you there’s nothing to forgive. You did what you thought you had to do.”

  “I hurt you. I almost killed you. If your kin hadn’t saved your life, your death would have been my burden to carry for the rest of my—”

  “Alright,” Mason interrupted in as hard a tone as he’d ever used with Five. “Listen here, you arrogant bastard, I’m responsible for my own actions. You weren’t there and you don’t get to take credit for any of that shit. Alan made it clear my head injury was caused by multiple hits to the back of the head, not one, and you didn’t slam me into that goddamn railing on the stairs, that fucker that wanted to rape and kill me did. As for the second hit, all I remember is you throwing yourself in front of me. You stopped him from getting hold of me and tearing me open with his claws.”

  Five’s lips pressed together in an obstinate look.

  Mason plowed on. “Here’s a lesson for you. Consider it an opportunity to earn some extra credit. If somebody tries to tell me what to do, and I do it, that’s my own damn problem. There is no alpha who gets the blame—or the goddamn credit. Not in the world I grew up in. I get the reward—or the goddamn punishment. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. When it isn’t like that, that’s when you know something’s wrong and it’s time to get out, however the hell you can. The fact that you don’t see things that way—that you blame yourself for me getting hurt—because I chose to stick my nose into the middle of your goddamn fight—that’s one place we’ll probably never see eye-to-eye. I don’t need to forgive you. My injuries weren’t your goddamn fault.”

  A heavy silence followed.

  Then—

  “Irrelevant. I am your alpha and your mate. I was responsible for your care and I failed you. This weakness you have for claiming responsibility for the actions of others is something I’ll have to help you learn to overcome.”

  “You goddamned—” Words failed him. “—ugghhh!”

  Blue eyes stared back at him, unreadable. “Your kin told me you have a guilt complex. I didn’t understand his meaning then, but I understand now. Unlike him, I won’t allow you to wallow in guilt and regret that does not belong to you.”

  “You’re still the same goddamned arrogant bastard you were a week ago!”

  Five flashed a smile at Mason, showing enough of those sharp eyeteeth to make Mason’s heart lurch heavily inside his chest. “You will adapt. You enjoy submission, and I enjoy giving you pleasure. We’re already starting to see eye-to-eye on a great many things, and you will eventually see eye-to-eye with me on this. Now that we’re mated, our lives will continue to intertwine, and our fates to converge, and we will receive our reward for accepting the universe’s great gift. We are mated.”

  The words—spoken in the wolves’ language—set off a deep sense of satisfaction inside Mason, one that rolled over him like a wave. Warmth spread through him with a tingling pleasure. His eyes fixed on Five’s fiercely satisfied expression and breathing became a chore as the pressure inside his chest increased. He knew on some level the feeling came from Five and that the pressure wasn’t real. But it didn’t matter in that moment. The feeling consumed him—and it was truth.

  They were mated and they were mates and they would be mates.

  The fact that the only experience Mason had loving another man was as a brother or a friend was irrelevant.

  He could love Five. He knew it in that moment. Someday, he would love Five. Only time stood between where he was and where he would end up.

  Five ran his hand over Mason’s shoulder and down his arm.

  A shiver built under Mason’s skin.

  “I don’t know what you expect from me,” Mason said, then added, “as a mate.”

  “Companionship. Affection. Loyalty. Truth.”

  “And submission?”

  “Only after I have redeemed myself to you and shown you I can be the kind of mate you deserve. Only then do I deserve your submission.”

  “I forgive you.”

  Five’s eyes narrowed and his hand stilled at Mason’s elbow. “You forgive too easily.”

  Mason gave Five a sharp smile, this one feeling entirely at home on his face. It had been a long shot that Five would accept so easy an out, but it had been worth a try. He had another idea, one that might satisfy Five’s requirement for forgiveness and give Mason a small taste of revenge for a wrong Five probably didn’t even remember.

  Because whatever Five thought, Mason might forgive easily, but he didn’t forget nearly so fast.

  “I don’t want you to protect me if it means leaving me in the dark like that again,” Mason said. “Can we at least agree on that?”

  Five’s mouth pulled back at one corner, showing a flash of pointed eyetooth. He sounded almost pained as he said, “I can agree to consider every other option first, should the need arise.”

  “Is that the best you can do?”

  A short, soft growl came out of Five’s throat, only to end as abruptly as it had started. His eyes glittered more fiercely than ever. “It’s my responsibility to offer protection to my betas—and to my mate. I won’t ignore that instinct. Although I will try to be more aware of your strengths and act accordingly.”

  “My strengths.”

  “You’re an intelligent human. You’re loyal—to your kin and to your pack. You have an ability to communicate with us on a deeper level than most of your kind because of the gift, but the gift alone isn’t enough to account for that. You seek to help others, even when offering that help isn’t in your own best interests. You are capable of change—and that is a strength more important than any other.”

  Warmth flooded Mason’s face but he bit back the urge to brush off Five’s praise.

  He glanced around. “Ian told me to make myself at home. This place looks fully furnished.” He turned his gaze toward the stairs. “I bet there’s a bed up there somewhere.”

  He heard Five’s indrawn breath and looked over to him just in time to see a spark of heat darken his blue eyes.

  Mason jerked his chin in the direction of the door Five had entered earlier. “How about you go find some rope? I bet I can get this urge you have to earn forgiveness out of your system before the goddamn sun sets.”

  This time Five’s soft growl raised every hair on Mason’s body.

  Mason smiled. “Don’t like that idea much, do you?”

  “Your brash challenge does intrigue me. But I do not think you would enjoy the things I particularly want to do to you at this moment.”

  “I’ve said it before and I guess I’ll have to say it again, you really don’t know me at all.”

  Mason’s grin was just as sharp as Five’s sudden flash of teeth.

  Chapter 39

  There were no ropes. Mason found himself unceremoniously upended and carried over Five’s shoulder up the stairs.

  Five carried him into a sunlit room with too many windows fast enough to make Mason’s head spin. But once inside, he set Mason on his feet much more gently than Mason expected.

  Almost as if he knew what Mason was thinking, he straightened and said, “You’ve been healing well. I wouldn’t want to hurt you by being careless with you.”

  Mason glanced over his shoulder to see a square bed large enough for several people resting in the center of the room. Afternoon sun streaked across a quilt made of shimmering fabrics and a pile of fluffy pillows in colors as vibrant as the wolves’ alien eyes.

  “Whoa. That’s an interesting bed.”

  “Your beds are too small. We adapted a design of our own.”

  “A prince could sleep on that bed and not feel out of place.”

  “Prince? Yes, this house is meant for an alpha.”

  “Right,” Mason drawled out, then, �
��Wait. So alpha means prince?”

  “It can. It doesn’t always.”

  An awkward silence followed.

  Mason glanced toward the door, rubbing his palms against his thighs. “Are we waiting on something?”

  “I’m waiting on you, Mason Waters.”

  Mason caught Five’s gaze. “I talk big. I don’t do so well when I have to follow through.”

  Five stepped closer. He reached out and touched Mason’s cheek with one hand and took Mason’s hand in his other and raised it to his chest. “You don’t have any reason to be afraid. I came prepared to submit. My heat cycle will not come.”

  Mason’s fingers curled against Five’s warmth as something ugly and painful twisted inside him. He’d always been so goddamned replaceable; he didn’t want to be replaceable any more. “Are the drugs really that good now, or… are you trying to tell me you fucked it out with your pack?”

  Mason had tried not to sound hurt and jealous, but he was so fucking sure he hadn’t succeeded that he couldn’t even swallow.

  Five’s gaze flickered.

  The air hung heavy in Mason’s lungs, the world full of confusion and uncertainty as Five studied him.

  Finally, Five asked, “Why do you doubt me?”

  Mason had to clear his throat to answer. “I don’t doubt you. I just don’t understand your ways. There’s a difference. Maybe fucking other people when you can’t have the one you want is the way you guys do things. How am I supposed to know if I don’t ask?”

  Five’s implacable stare wavered. He stepped back. Then, in one abrupt movement, he shucked his shirt.

  Mason watched warily.

  Five flicked the small button holding his trousers closed and the fly fell open. He pushed the trousers down his legs and stepped out of them, then tossed them aside.

  He was wearing undershorts, but nothing like the boxers Mason wore. The fabric covered the lower part of Five’s abdomen, cradled his cock and balls, and continued to mid-thigh.

  Five removed the undershorts.

  His cock and balls were bound tightly to his body with a few strips of some flexible material that slipped between his thighs and around his hips.

  “What the fuck is that?”

  “It is a—–” Five said something in the wolves’ language that Mason didn’t recognize. “There is no translation.”

  Five touched the material looped snugly around his soft cock. “It’s a medical device.”

  Mason couldn’t stop staring at the way the strips of material seemed to be cutting off Five’s circulation. He could see the pinch of skin that made it clear something under the material below Five’s cock was piercing his body. “What’s it for?”

  “It’s the only way to keep my body from healing.”

  “Healing from what?”

  “It’s our way of dealing with the heat when we have a mate who can’t mate but no wish to claim another.”

  “What did you do?”

  “My reproductive organs have been—how would a human say it?—neutered.”

  “Goddammit, Five! Why would you—why in the fucking hell would you do something like that?”

  “I can still give you pleasure—”

  “Please, God above, tell me this is temporary.”

  Five’s mouth tightened and Mason felt a twinge of shame for interrupting like a total asshole.

  “It is temporary,” Five said. “I won’t be able to fuck you unless I remove the device, but if I remove the device—”

  “Remove it.”

  “If I remove the device, I’ll go into my next heat cycle almost immediately. I won’t have any control over my instincts. You already tempt me as I am. Every faint trace of your scent calls to me, reminding me that you are mine and we are mated. Without this device, I will not submit.” His look became pointed. “You will.”

  “I don’t care. Take it out. I never would have asked you to do something like this. It’s fucking barbaric.”

  A sudden rumbling came from deep in Five’s chest, and Mason snapped his mouth closed before he could say more.

  “And yet you would have been disappointed if I had, in fact, ‘fucked it out’ with my pack.”

  Defiantly, Mason said, “You’re the one who thought I’d make a good mate.”

  “I accept your apology.”

  “I didn’t apologize, goddammit.”

  “You were going to before your emotions distracted you.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “And that’s why I didn’t remove the device before I came to you. I’m prepared to submit. Let me prove to you how strong I am.”

  “Get that fucking thing off, now.”

  “Submission takes strength. You’ll see how—”

  “Goddammit.” Mason reached for the strip in the crease of Five’s left thigh.

  Five caught Mason by the wrist. “Do not.”

  “I swear to God, Five, I’m going to kick your ass if you don’t get this thing off.”

  “This is that big talk you mentioned earlier, correct?”

  “Goddamn you.”

  “Goddamn you,” Five said.

  Mason stopped trying to get at the device and just stared at Five.

  Five flashed his teeth in a predatory smile. “If I’m to be damned for a lack of submission to your wishes, it’s only fair you be damned with me since you refuse to submit to the wishes of your alpha and mate.”

  It shouldn’t have been funny. Mason let out a choked laugh, then covered the bottom half of his face and laughed until his ribs ached.

  Five watched him curiously but didn’t move.

  Mason plopped down on the edge of the bed, and when he could breathe without gasping, he put his hands on his knees, elbows out. He looked up at Five, wonder in his voice. “I swear to God, Five, I can’t decide if I’m doomed or if you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  “I can’t promise it will always be easy for you to reconcile our ways to yours, but I can promise to do my best to make it worth the effort.”

  Maybe honesty would work where nothing else had.

  “Come here.”

  Five stepped forward and Mason spread his legs, letting Five step between them. He put his hands on Five’s hips, feeling the masculine grace there and the hard lines that made Five different from anyone else Mason had ever held in that way. He let his hands linger, then drew his palms down until his fingers were so, so close to the crease of Five’s ass.

  His mouth was only inches away from the taut muscle of Five’s abdomen. He leaned in and kissed the smooth skin there. He could feel the brush of dark hair against his lips, fine and soft, and the smell of sweat and warm skin filled his lungs.

  Five’s body vibrated under Mason’s hands but Five somehow managed to stand as still as a statue.

  “Five…” Mason drew the name out, let it hang in the air for a long moment. “I don’t know what to do with you. You have a hell of a body. You’re attractive. But I’m just… I’m learning. I need more time before I’m put in charge of making you feel good—and sex isn’t any good when you’re not trying to make somebody feel good.”

  “Your touch makes me feel good. I need nothing more.”

  “Yeah, you do. But I don’t know anything about gay sex except what you’ve taught me so far.” Mason moistened his lips and leaned in for another low kiss, this one closer to the top of Five’s pubic hair. He heard Five suck in his breath at the same time that he felt the clenching of muscle under his lips.

  “You—are accomplished. You do not need to be taught.”

  The catch in Five’s voice was gratifying, to say the least, but Mason wasn’t sure what he should do next.

  “Do you—can I—” Mason moved toward Five’s cock, then stopped, looking up through his lashes.

  “I won’t harden. But I would enjoy the feeling of your mouth on my cock.”

  “What about the thing?”

  “Kiss me. Do not worry about the device.”

  Maybe it
was all Mason was ready for anyway, so he just leaned in and let his lips trace across the exposed flesh of Five’s dick.

  It was weird.

  Really weird.

  But Five’s skin was clean and tasted of warmth and musk and after about three seconds of weirdness, Mason had no doubt that he could have fun playing with Five’s cock in the future.

  He would taste it first, then draw it deep into his mouth the way he liked it, and then he would—

  Five’s hand landed in his hair, tugging a little sharply.

  Mason pulled back, a line of spit drawing out between them before breaking and dripping down his chin. He swiped it away.

  Five spoke breathlessly, “I hadn’t realized I would become so sensitive with the device inserted.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You were correct. I should remove the device.”

  Mason eyed Five’s bright eyes and flushed cheeks suspiciously. “I don’t think so. I’ve changed my mind. Lay down on the bed.”

  Five’s hands were already moving toward the strips of material. “After I—”

  Mason grabbed both Five’s wrists.

  The soft growl he got in response was more exciting than he expected. His dick started getting hard.

  “You wanted to submit,” Mason said. “This was your idea. Now submit.”

  When Mason started pulling Five toward the bed with his wrists, Five resisted only momentarily. Mason had to release Five so he could climb onto the bed, and he watched Five’s back and ass as he crawled his way to the center before letting out a growl and raking his hand through the pile of pillows.

  Pillows went flying off the side of the bed.

  Five turned and flopped onto the mattress.

  Mason didn’t even try to hold back his grin. “Got a weakness there I see needs worked on.”

  Five’s eyes narrowed on Mason and the sharp points of his eyeteeth appeared. “When the device is removed, we will see who is alpha here.”

  Mason scoffed, but wasted no time yanking off his shirt and unfastening his jeans before he climbed onto the bed with Five. “I have no idea if the shit I like is universal for all men or if it’s just me, so you’re going to have to tell me if I fuck this up.”