Did she take it off in hopes of losing me in the mass of bodies?
The thought is almost enough to knock the air from my lungs.
Is she seriously that desperate to escape my evil clutches?
My hands tighten until the knuckles turn bone white. Instead of backing off, I pick up speed and fly around the corner. The last thing I want to do is lose her. If a few people get shoved in the process, too fucking bad.
“Hey,” someone grumbles when I knock into them.
“Dick!” another person shouts at my back. “Watch where you’re going!”
I motor past without apologizing. The exact moment I reach for Sydney’s arm is the same one she tosses an apprehensive glance over her shoulder. It’s like she can sense my presence the same way I do hers. Her green eyes widen as they lock on mine.
“Brayden,” she gasps as if not expecting me to chase her down.
“Yep,” I bite out grimly, steering her into a dark classroom and slamming the door shut behind us. In the echoing silence of the empty room, the lock clicking into place sounds like a gunshot.
She flinches. “What are you doing?”
When she attempts to break loose, I release my hold but stay positioned in front of the exit. I’ll be damned if she escapes before we hash this out. As soon as she’s free, she cautiously backs away. Her gaze stays pinned to mine as she puts more space between us.
“Making it possible for us to have a private conversation.” My gaze searches hers, sifting through the emotions in her eyes. Normally, I know exactly what’s going on inside her head. This time is different. No matter how much I probe, I keep coming up empty handed. Sydney has totally closed herself off. It’s like she flipped a switch. I want to know what changed between us.
Even though her face turns ashen, she draws herself up to her full height. “There’s no need for that. We’ve already talked about everything that needed to be discussed.”
Is she joking?
“That’s funny, because I don’t feel the same way.” I cock a brow. “I’m still confused as to why you ended things in the first place. And you won’t return my texts or calls. You’ve been skulking around campus in an attempt to avoid me.”
“I haven’t been skulking,” she says, lifting her chin in defiance.
“The hell you have, and I want to know why. I’ve never known you to be a coward, Sydney. Why are you being one now?”
Anger cracks through her eyes like a bolt of lightning, banishing the hunted look that had flared to life as soon as she realized I was intent on talking with her. “I’m not a coward.”
“Under normal circumstances, I would agree with that statement. But you’ve been doing a damn good impression of it lately. I’ve seen you throw down with the best of them and get into fights and yet, here you are, running from me with your tail tucked between your legs. You know what? I really expected better from you.”
A hot rush of color stings her cheeks as I stalk closer. That’s all it takes for fear to flicker across her face as she stumbles in retreat. It doesn’t take long for her back to hit the far wall of the classroom. Panic and regret flash in her wide eyes. I don’t know if it’s directed at me or herself, but I’m damn well going to find out.
Sydney flattens against the wall. Her fingers curl, clawing at the paint. She’s doing everything in her power to avoid my touch, which is fucking hilarious. It wasn’t so long ago that she couldn’t get enough of it.
Of me.
My forearms settle on each side of her head, effectively caging her in with my body. I’m so close that she has to crane her neck in order to keep her gaze fastened on mine. When her tongue darts out to moisten her lips, my attention drops to the movement and a punch of arousal slams into me. I’ve never been so furious with a girl and still wanted her so desperately.
Only now do I realize what a potent concoction those two emotions are.
I loom over her until my chest is pressed against her breasts before lowering my face to hers. The scent of her warm breath ghosting over my lips is nothing short of intoxicating. We haven’t been this intimate in almost a week.
There is nothing I don’t miss about this girl.
My lips ghost over hers. Not only am I teasing her, but myself as well. It won’t take much for my tightly leashed control to snap, and then I’ll be lost. No one has ever pushed me the way she does. “I want to know why you broke up with me.”
A whimper breaks free as she attempts to turn her head. Except there’s nowhere for her to go. No way for her to escape. For the time being, she’s trapped and completely at my mercy. And I’ll use every weapon in my arsenal to reach her.
If I honestly thought that Sydney didn’t crave my touch, I would back off, but that’s not the case. She’s anything other than calm, cool, and collected. Her heart is racing, and her breath has picked up its tempo. Even though she’s doing her best to lock away the need that courses through her veins, the hunger is visible in her eyes. It’s there in the way she shifts against me.
I’ve been with enough girls to know when one desires me. And every physical sign indicates that Sydney wants me just as much as she ever has. So why the hell is she so intent on lying about her feelings and pretending they don’t exist?
All I want is her honesty. If there’s not a future for us, then I’ll have no other choice but to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart and move on. I can’t force her to love me. But I deserve more. I deserve the truth.
Instead of responding, she presses her lips into a tight, thin line.
Does she really want to play a game of chicken?
That’s fine. She might not realize it, but I’m a fucking pro.
I press even more into her physical space. I’m close enough for my erection to dig into the softness of her belly. The contact has her pupils dilating. All it takes is one shift of my hips and the head of my cock is lined up with her core. The only thing standing in the way of me screwing her against the wall are a few thin layers of clothing. It wouldn’t take much to yank them out of the way and thrust deep inside the warmth of her body.
My lips drift over hers. “I want answers, Sydney. We’re not walking out of this room until you give me something that makes sense. You want to continue to jack around, go right ahead. I think we both know how it’ll end.”
She swallows thickly, the delicate column of her neck working furiously. “I don’t feel the same way as you do.”
These are the same words that she threw at me at the cabin. They were like a knife to the heart. Four days later, they still sting, but I’m now able to see past my own pain. I search her gaze and realize there’s something going on that she’s attempting to conceal from me. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.
“You’re lying. The question is why.”
“I’m not.” She shakes her head. Fear has slammed back into her full force. “This isn’t working for me.”
My tongue darts out to trace over her perfect cupid’s bow of a mouth. She tilts her chin upward as if to grant me better access. “Tell me what’s not working for you, baby. I’m curious.”
Arousal floods into her eyes at the endearment. Or maybe it has more to do with the way I roll my hips, thrusting between her legs.
“Come on, tell me,” I push. I refuse to back off until I break her down. It’s not something I ever thought I’d have to do. “I want to know.”
When I flex my hips again, a whimper escapes from her parted lips. Misery wars with desire. It’s such a strange concoction.
“Please, Brayden,” she whispers. “We can’t do this. You have no idea.”
Anger crashes through me. “You’re damn right about that. I don’t understand why you’re so intent upon keeping us apart. And you know what? I won’t allow it. Everything was perfect until this weekend. I don’t understand what happened to turn everything to shit, but you’re going to tell me.” I’m so fucking furious that I can barely hold it in check. “Do you understand?”
&nbs
p; “I can’t.”
The answer that bursts free is nothing more than a choked cry. But it’s exactly what I needed to know. There’s a method to her madness. And right now, that’s exactly what it feels like.
Madness.
I’m all but consumed by it.
“Yes, you can. Haven’t you realized that you can tell me anything?” I drive my erection against her core one last time, deciding to employ a different tactic to elicit the information I’m after. The only way we’ll move past this issue is if I crack her open until she has no other choice but to spill the contents she’s withholding.
But to stand there and try to tell me she doesn’t want me?
That she’s over this?
That she doesn’t feel what I do?
I’m calling bullshit.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to prove. Maybe my tactics are a little underhanded and cross a line, but I don’t really give a damn. I’ll do everything in my power to break through the walls Sydney’s resurrected to keep me at a safe distance. This girl is going to realize real quick that all her efforts are for naught.
As I pull away, she releases a shaky breath. Sydney might think she’s being given a reprieve, but she couldn’t be more wrong. The moment air escapes from her lungs, my fingers drift to the waistband of her jeans. With her attention fastened on me, I unsnap the button and lower the zipper. The sound of metal teeth grinding against each other shatters the silence.
“You want me to stop?”
God knows that I don’t want to. I’m not even sure if I can. The need to touch her thrums through me like an insistent pulse, blinding me to everything else.
Her teeth scrape against her lower lip as conflict erupts on her features.
That’s all the prodding I need to take the decision out of her hands. My fingers skim over the muscles of her belly before delving into her panties. With one smooth motion, I thrust them inside her soft heat.
Fuck, but I’ve missed this more than I realized.
A garbled sound escapes from her parted lips as her eyelids lower to half-mast. As reluctant as I am to drag my fingers from her body, I pull them almost all the way out before driving them inside for a second time. Her pupils dilate with pleasure as I repeat the maneuver.
If I were a better man, I could resist taunting her. “For someone who doesn’t want me, you sure are wet.” I press closer, nipping at her plump lower lip before growling, “Soaking wet.”
Embarrassment stings her cheeks as she rips her gaze away. My fingers settle on her chin before turning it so she has no other choice but to meet my knowing stare.
“If I’m going to get you off, you’re damn well going to watch me do it. I want you to know exactly who’s touching you when you fall apart. Do you understand me, baby?”
The harsh demand coupled with the steady rhythm of my fingers driving into her softness are all it takes to send her careening over the edge. Her orgasm comes on so hard and fast that it racks her body. Even when she tries to fall forward and rest her forehead against my chest, I keep her pinned to the wall until every last shudder has faded.
It takes a handful of minutes for her breathing to even out. My fingers are still lodged deep inside her body where they belong. “Tell me again that you don’t want me.” There’s a pause. “Tell me,” I urge.
For the first time since she smashed my heart into pieces, I’m hopeful that there’s a real possibility of reaching her. How can she stand here and look me in the eye, all the while insisting that she doesn’t want me when I’ve just proven her to be a liar? All I have to do is touch her body and she shatters.
How can she deny it?
Or me?
You know what?
She can’t.
End of story.
With fingers that tremble, she removes my hand before hastily buttoning up her jeans. Sorrow fills her eyes as they flicker toward me. “I’m sorry, Brayden. You need to trust that I’m doing what’s right for both of us.”
Frustration bubbles up inside me as I realize that this little demonstration has changed nothing. We’re exactly where we started, and that’s back at square one.
Unable to release her, I yank Sydney into my arms before wrapping them around her body. For a sliver of a moment, she stiffens before melting against me. It’s yet another confusing piece of evidence that doesn’t make sense.
“You have to know that I won’t give up without a fight.”
The disheartened rush of air that escapes from her lips tells me that she does.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Sydney
Lucus speed walks into the ice cream shop and beelines for the counter to stare at the blackboard of flavors written in colorful chalk. Since they haven’t changed from the first time we came here and my brother never deviates from his favorite, most people would find this behavior odd. I don’t, because I realize that it’s all part of the ritual. Instead of hurrying him along, I stand at his side and pretend to peruse the menu as well. I’m more of a wildcard when it comes to ice cream. One Tuesday, I’m rocky road, and the next I’m strawberry chocolate swirl. It used to drive Lucus a little bit crazy. He likes consistency and routine. When circumstances abruptly change, it can throw him off and agitate him. Although, I think he’s come to expect this behavior from me, so it no longer bothers him.
When Brayden and I were together, Lucus was the one who invited the handsome football player to join us. Even though I wanted him to tag along, I wouldn’t have imposed someone on Lucus. At least not so early in our relationship. And Brayden understood that. Just like he understood everything else about my life. A little bubble of grief bursts inside me like an overinflated balloon. I don’t think the sorrow will ever go away. Not fully.
What transpired on Friday in the classroom after accounting shouldn’t have. All it did was give Brayden false hope that it’s possible for us to find our way back to each other. In the end, it won’t help either of us move on with our lives.
After approximately five minutes, Lucus places his order for triple chocolate fudge brownie. He’ll be a little hyped up afterward, but that’s all right, since I’m dropping him off at home for Mom to deal with. The thought brings a slight smile to my lips. Before each outing, she sits down with Lucus and shows him a menu of all the different flavors he can choose from. None of which have chocolate.
It never works.
I order pistachio. Once we’re handed our cones, Lucus eyeballs mine with disdain.
“It’s green.”
“Yup.” I take a lick. “Tastes pretty good.” I hold out my waffle cone. “Want to try?”
His face scrunches with disgust. “No, it’s green and you’ve already licked it.”
I shrug and take another swipe with my tongue before pointing toward a booth in the back corner. It’s the one we always gravitate to. Once settled, Lucus tells me all about his week. Everything that happened at work along with the girl he’s now in love with. His eyes spark with genuine happiness as he reminisces about how much he enjoyed tossing around the ball with Brayden at the stadium. For him, it was a highlight he won’t soon forget.
He shifts impatiently on the bench seat. “When can we do that again?”
Unsure how to respond, my gaze drops to my ice cream. Even though the answer is never, I’m reluctant to admit it out loud. At least not yet. “I’m not sure.”
“Can Brayden come over and visit?”
It’s been more than a week since the breakup, and I’ve been hesitant to mention it to my family. I’m hoping they’ll just forget about him or assume our relationship fell by the wayside. It’s not like it hasn’t happened dozens of times before. My brothers like to joke that I go through guys like most people go through underwear. Another fan favorite is that they both have milk sitting in the fridge that’s lasted longer than some of my relationships.
Ha-ha.
Those two are a real comedic duo. They should take their act on the road.
It’s not th
at I don’t think Lucus will be able to process what a breakup means. I’m more afraid of the blunt questions he’ll fire off in an attempt to understand. I was hoping that with enough time, my brother would forget about Brayden. I should have known better. Lucus finds a way to work him into almost every conversation.
The thought of telling my parents the real reason we broke up makes me sick to my stomach. There won’t be a choice in bringing up the accident. Under normal circumstances, it’s something we all go to great lengths to avoid. When we reminisce about Peter, we talk about the good times, not the mistake he made that ended his life. My parents would be heartbroken if they ever discovered Brayden’s connection to our family.
“I’m not sure, Lucus. You know,” I say, trying to manufacture a believable excuse, “Brayden is really busy with school and football. He doesn’t get much time off.”
“I know,” he takes a lick of his cone, “but he promised he would visit soon.”
My guess is that Lucus is talking about the last time we all had ice cream together. “That was a while ago,” I point out.
He shakes his head as a stubborn light enters his eyes. “No, it was the other day.”
Every muscle goes whipcord tight as my head snaps up. “What do you mean?”
“Brayden gave me his number.” Lucus continues to lick his cone before adding like it’s no big deal, “Sometimes we text.” His brows pinch together. “He’s my friend, too.”
“Of course he is,” I soothe.
“I told him that he could meet us for ice cream.”
Icy cold tendrils of panic tangle around my heart and squeeze until it feels like I can’t suck in a full breath. “You invited Brayden to have ice cream with us?” There’s a pause before I add, “Tonight?”
“Yeah. I wanted to see him.” Lucus frowns, unaware of the chocolate smeared around the corners of his mouth.
Campus Heartthrob (The Campus Series Book 2) Page 25
