Seeking to Belong: Wolftale Series~Book 1

by M. Ekman

  Not wanting to look in the mirror and feel disappointed at her own lack of style, Ruth quickly exited her room. Down the stairs in the kitchen, she snagged a banana off the fruit bowl on the counter. Ruth had been doing her own grocery shopping since she was eight, but having never learning anything about cooking, fruit and ready-made meals were the bulk of her diet.

  No one spoke a word to Ruth as she walked through her pack town. Granted there really weren’t many wolves out at such an early hour. Usually the averted eyes and pointed silence would bother Ruth but today she could care less. She was simply too busy sticking her nose in the air searching for her mate’s special scent. After sniffing every street in town, Ruth eventually made it to the enforcer training grounds.

  Her pack’s training grounds were in a huge field located behind the pack house. This field consisted of eight huge sections, each of which was lined with white spray paint and contained various equipment and/or fake opponents. Ruth made her way to the first section where her trainer was impatiently waiting for her.

  The hulking raven-haired older wolf didn’t bother asking Ruth to explain her tardiness. Instead he barked out orders for her begin warm ups, to which she promptly complied. Unfortunately for Ruth, the distraction of finding her mate was so intense that her efforts in training were underwhelming, to say the least.

  “Ruth your left foot goes forward not backward,” her instructor said exasperated.

  “Sorry,” Ruth winced as she slammed butt first into the ground, yet again.

  “Just—just go home. Come back when you’ve got your head on straight.” Her instructor thundered.

  Instead of replying Ruth simply nodded her head and got her tail out of there before the man thought to make her run laps until she collapsed from exhaustion. That was the usual punishment inflicted for those who weren’t fully committed at training.

  Once out of site, however, Ruth changed her direction and began jogging towards the northern most section of the territory. Ruth worked in a grid pattern from east to west sniffing for anything out of the ordinary, anything that would give her a clue as to where her mate was.

  As the hours dragged on she doggedly continued on but Ruth could feel her spirit drooping. By dusk all she had uncovered was an angry horde of fire ants that had tried to bite the bejesus out of her bare ankles. Finally, around ten in the evening, Ruth had searched every bit of ground her territory sat on.

  Dejectedly Ruth had to admit to herself that her mate was not to be found, and she began the quiet trek back home. Ruth’s house was made of unpainted boring mud brown wood and looked very much like a small cabin. There were no plants around the house or any form of decoration to bring warmth to the structure.

  Feeling even more miserable at the sight of the dreary edifice, Ruth kept her eyes on the ground as she opened the door and made her way inside. Slumping onto one of the plain wood chairs in her kitchen, Ruth put her head in her hands. She had known that there was a good possibility that she wouldn’t find her mate in her own pack, but it was still so disappointing.

  After giving herself a few moments, Ruth heaved a sigh and went to the fridge to scrounge up a “birthday meal”. She hadn’t eaten since the fruit this morning and her stomach was rumbling painfully. Her fridge was bare of almost anything, as Ruth had forgotten to go grocery shopping this week due to her birthday research. Eventually, after some hunting around she discovered a bag of half eaten ham and a few slices of bread thrown in a drawer.

  ‘Cold ham sandwich for dinner, lucky me’, she thought bitterly.

  Ruth assembled her sandwich and leaned over the polished granite counter to eat it. Halfway through her meager meal Ruth stopped. She couldn’t chew another bite despite her stomachs protests.

  Ruth’s mind kept revolving around her mate, or lack thereof. “It was silly to think that I could have a mate so easily,” she muttered to herself.

  Weary from more than just her lack of sustenance, Ruth threw away her half-eaten meal and headed to bed. She slowly dragged her feet up the short narrow staircase next to the kitchen. The landing at the top of the stairs was fairly small and consisted only of three doors.

  Ruth opened the one to her right and went into a bathroom that was barely big enough for the sink, toilet, and standing shower it contained. She began to brush her teeth and pull her long hair out of its ponytail. The door across the hall was supposed to be for Ruth’s father, though he rarely slept there.

  Ruth’s room was just as empty as the rest of the house. Nothing decorated her walls and the only furniture it contained was a small bed, squat dresser, and an old rickety desk. Trying to keep the tears at bay Ruth made her way to the dresser in her room where she fished out a not-necessarily-matching pair of pajamas she’d always loved.

  They were the one bright spot of color in her wardrobe, and she’d saved up for months to buy them. The tank top was electric blue and said ‘bite me’ in bright pink letters with a pair of lips underneath that showed exposed wolf canines with blood dripping down them.

  Ruth found it hilarious and spunky, a part of herself that she’d always wished she could share with others. She coupled the shirt with a pair of fleece pajama pants that were covered in little yellow ducks. Ruth had been inexplicably obsessed with ducks, as a child, and her mother had fed Ruth’s passion buying her duck blankets, sheets, and toys.

  After her mother passed, and her father moved the two of them to this lonely house in town Ruth had had to give up all of her childhood things. Years later when Ruth had seen these pajama bottoms in a second hand store a block from her house she knew she had to have them. They made Ruth feel like she still had a part of her youth, and her mother with her.

  After changing, Ruth flopped onto her bed and stared across the room at the alarm clock sitting on top of her dresser. The bright red lights flashed 11:28pm and Ruth felt a cool breeze trickle through her open window.

  Suddenly, Ruth shot up, “what was that?”

  Ruth padded over to the small opening and stuck her head out while she took a deep breath. There it was again, that smell of fresh rain and something else she couldn’t name. Without thinking, Ruth launched herself out of her window and landed on all fours on the soft grass. Luckily the second story of her house wasn’t far off the ground. She might be a werewolf, but she wasn’t unbreakable.

  She followed her nose and moved unhurriedly with sure steps that made it seem as if the path to her unknown destination was preplanned. Ruth passed a few of the pack enforcers on patrol but just like everyone else they didn’t stop to speak to her, despite her odd appearance.

  Finally, Ruth made it to a largely wooded area that took up half of the territory, and plunged in without hesitation. About a quarter of a mile into the dense foliage her feet stilled, and she realized that the scent she’d been trailing was more concentrated here. Looking around Ruth didn’t see anyone, but despite this her feet remained firmly planted on the forest floor.

  Gradually Ruth felt a presence creeping up behind her and turned to see who approached. “Nathan,” the name came unbidden off her lips.

  Nathan was maybe a year older than Ruth and was the alpha’s second son. His 20 something older brother was to be the next alpha and had declared Nathan as his future beta when Nathan was only 13. Since he was so young, the future beta began doing extensive training to prepare for his role in the pack.

  Nathan’s pale green eyes glared at Ruth accusingly but she didn’t care. Her heart was singing, because she knew she’d finally found her mate. Every inch of him was wonderful and Ruth didn’t care if he was upset that his mate was…well her. Nathan might need time to adjust to being Ruth’s mate but she was confident she could win him over—she would be perfect, do everything right.

  “Ruth,” Nathan spat out.

  “Hi, Nathan. Today is my 18th birthday and I guess— “

  “No.” The tall, lithe wolf before her cut Ruth off before she could finish her thought,

  The smile Ruth didn’t re
alize was shining on her face dimmed a bit, “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Don’t you dare finish that thought. There is no way a worthless mutt like you could be--” It was almost as if he feared saying the word mate out loud; as if once spoken it couldn’t be taken back.

  “Nathan, I know I might not be what you expected but I—“

  He laughed sardonically, “Your own father can’t stand to look at you. Don’t you know what the pack says about you?”

  Ruth opened and closed her mouth like a fish attempting to breathe air instead of water. Her joy over finding her mate had clouded her mind, but Nathan cut through that brief fog with a crude and vicious swipe. Looking at the proud man again Ruth could see the hardness in his eyes and the sneer on his lips.

  What was wrong with him? How could he be speaking to Ruth in such a way? Even her hard, militaristic father was always soft and caring when he’d spoken to Ruth’s mother-- at least from what little she could recall.

  With a disgusted snort at Ruth’s lack of response Nathan shook his head. He took a step back from her as his face lost all expression. “I, Nathan Alexander Rykov, reject you Ruth Osbolt as a mate.”

  Ruth’s eyes turned wide in horror as she felt a tearing sensation in her heart and mind. The pain was so unbearable that Ruth shifted into her silver coated wolf form. Her wolf was strong and could help her escape the pain that was suffusing her entire body.

  At first, Ruth steps were slow but gradually she picked up speed as she began running as fast as her four paws could carry her. No sound of pursuit reached her ears, which was both satisfying and depressing at the same time. Obliviously, Nathan wasn’t having any second thoughts about his harsh dismissal of her.

  CHAPTER 3

  Present

  “You haven’t slept since the day before your birthday, and ran for nearly 24 hours?” asked Jason, eye’s wide in shock.

  Tyler growled warningly at Jason, but Ruth simply snorted unbothered by the exclamation, “I suppose… But, I honestly don’t remember much after shifting. At least it’s good to know that all that enforcer endurance training paid off.” She said her last statement with a sad bitterness coating her voice.

  Like before, Tyler felt this urge to reach out and comfort the heavyhearted she wolf. However, instead of following his instincts he chose to move from the crouched position he’d maintained throughout Ruth’s story and get a little space. Tyler’s brow furrowed in thought as he wondered if he should bring up the question that had pushed to the forefront of his mind.

  Before he could think the better of it his mouth opened, though he kept his eyes on Ruth’s ducky pajama bottoms instead of her face; too embarrassed to see her reaction. “From the way you told your story it seems as if you didn’t complete the rejection?”

  Ruth’s head dropped into her hands in shame but she didn’t utter a single sound.

  Tyler continued in a rush, “You would only have to say the phrase he spoke back, but in reverse. That would fully break the connection, and free you from the side effects of this unclaimed bond.”

  Beside him Tyler heard Jason’s sharp intake of breath. Some might think Tyler rash for pushing a rejection so soon, but he couldn’t help himself. The unsettling part was that he didn’t know why.

  Ruth began to speak from behind her hands, “I know, but—”

  “It’s alright,” Jason interjected before Tyler could, “this is a weighty decision. If you reject Nathan your bond would be severed entirely. However, it is possible for him to revoke his rejection and repair what he has damaged.”

  At Jason’s words Tyler shot him a glare, but Jason kept his head in Ruth’s direction, ignoring his alpha. The whole thing set Tyler’s teeth on edge, but before he could do anything about it he heard Ruth start to shift.

  His eye’s shot automatically to hers and softened. Her face was beginning to take on a look of wariness despite the exhaustion that clearly lined her features. Tyler didn’t want her to think poorly of him, for some reason, and her budding apprehension bothered him.

  He slowly knelt in front of her again so that they were at eye level. While her expression didn’t change at the action she also didn’t back away which Tyler took as a good sign. He took a breath before praying to the Great Luna that whatever came out of his mouth next wouldn’t make things worse.

  “Ruth, as long as even part of your bond remains you will continue to feel intense pain with any kind of physical contact from anyone.”

  Her apprehension vanished as a fiery anger lit her eyes, “Why?”

  Even though Ruth’s gaze was locked with Tyler’s it was Jason who responded. “It is the Great Luna’s way of ensuring that none can interfere with a mate bond. If it helps, your mate will also endure the same pain.”

  Breaking the staring match with a slow blink Ruth shook her head and chuckled grimly, “I suppose there is some kind of poetic justice in that.”

  Tyler gazed at the woman who sat exhausted and drained, but not beaten. She took the cards life dealt her and continued to push for a better future. He couldn’t help but feel in awe of the creature before him. How could someone so strong, with beauty locked deep in her bones ever be rejected? He certainly would never have turned her away, more likely he would have stolen her and run like a thief in the night. Brusquely Tyler got to his feet, to once again clear his mind of the direction his thoughts were headed.

  “What pack are you from?” He asked, more gruffly than intended.

  Ruth’s eyes traveled up Tyler’s tall frame and stared at him bewildered, “Forest Stone, why?”

  Ignoring Ruth’s question he turned to his beta, “call her alpha and inform him of where she is. I’ll head to the office in a few minutes to fill out a report.”

  Jason nodded and began making his way to the door when, with surprising speed, Ruth shot up off the bed and grabbed Tyler by his rumpled shirt sleeve, “Please no.”

  “Ruth—” Tyler started.

  “Please,” for the first time since she’d woken up tears began to slowly fall down her soft cheeks, “I just need some time. I can’t face…I just...” Unable to continue Ruth’s head dropped and her hand fell back to her side, though her feet remained firmly planted where she stood.

  Sensing Ruth’s anguish the alpha couldn’t help but take a step closer to her. However, as he began to lift his fingers he hesitated, not wanting his touch to add to her suffering. At his stilled movement, Ruth closed the small gap between them and rested her forehead on Tyler’s broad chest.

  Tentatively and ever so gently he raised his hand to thread his callused fingers through Ruth’s sleek, lustrous hair. Tyler had never felt anything so soft in his life and it took everything in him not to bring a lock of it to his nose and take a deep sniff. A heart-wrenching sob snapped his focus back to Ruth.

  Stupid mutt that he was Tyler must have somehow hurt her. He had tried to avoid grazing her bare skin, but perhaps she was feeling the pain of her bond even through clothed contact. Tyler’s began to pull away to give Ruth space when suddenly her arms shot out and she enveloped his waist in a nearly painful grip.

  Okay, so evidently he hadn’t been hurting her, but then why the tears. What had changed to cause them? Tyler cursed his inability to understand women on any level. Maybe if he’d had a mother to guide him—Tyler stopped himself. There wasn’t any use in lamenting over what could have been.

  Unexpectedly, he felt Ruth’s knees began to buckle, causing him to instinctively wrap an arm across her back to prevent her from falling. With his other hand Tyler began to soothingly tracing his fingers from the crown of her head down to the base of her neck. While his actions didn’t cause Ruth’s tears to subside he felt her drawing comfort from his gesture as her arms around him tightened fractionally.

  Before Tyler could relish in his sudden ability to ease another’s sorrow he felt a pair of eyes boring into his skull. Somehow, he had completely forgotten Jason was still in the room. Turning his head slightly Tyler could see that his b
eta had not moved an inch, though his expression had definitely morphed into something even Tyler couldn’t name.

  Not wanting to speak over Ruth’s continued tears, Tyler mindlinked. “Her crying isn’t because of our contact. I don’t understand how this is possible. When Ruth brought up her bond earlier I thought it strange I didn’t elicit any reaction from her when I’d carried her. I shrugged it off due to Ruth being unconscious at the time, though that’s fast becoming a thin thread of logic.”

  Jason’s left brow dipped down, “Your curse.”

  “What!” the alpha almost shouted before checking himself, and mindlinking.

  Ever to the point Jason continued, “Your curse incapacitates you from affecting her bond, even if you wanted to. Your touch won’t cause the reaction everyone else’s does.”

  Tyler felt his eyes glowing amber in anger, even though Jason’s words rang true. He quickly wiped the emotion from his face as he mindlinked back, “I will wait until Ruth has calmed and then have her get some rest. Wait to inform the Forest Stone pack of her whereabouts until she’s feeling better.”

  Jason didn’t miss a beat, despite Tyler’s obvious topic change, “are you sure that is wise Alpha?”

  “I am not going to take advantage of her. Now, GO,” Alpha Tyler mindlinked, making his last word an Alpha Command.

  Without another word Jason left, and Tyler’s ire slowly melted away and in its place was grief. Maybe that’s why he was so drawn to Ruth, they both knew loneliness like no other ever could. He knew he would do whatever it took to prevent Ruth from having to feel that way again, even though there was nothing he could do for himself.

  Before he could think of what to do next Tyler felt an abrupt stinging all over his skin, almost as if his body was trying to shift into his wolf form without his minds consent. Looking around Tyler didn’t see any threat that might have caused this protective instinct to rush upon him. Opening his senses more, the alpha’s ears began to pick up a strange sound. Tyler’s eyes dropped to the woman who still had a death grip on him.