Faith (SEAL'ed Book 5)

by AJ Alexander

  I’ve pretty much given up hope of hearing from Lieutenant McMillion again, especially after that embarrassing letter I last wrote him. I must have sounded so pathetic. I even stopped obsessively checking my email a few days ago, just in case he decided to take me up on my offer to email instead of waiting for letters to arrive.

  “Okay, baby, put the mail on the table while I get dinner ready.”

  “‘kay Momma.” I watch her put the mail down before she takes off for her room.

  I drop my things on the table and notice a letter with an FPO address, my heart speeds up as I reach for the letter. Small block lettering covers the envelope, the letter I’ve been looking forward to for days. I’ve been waiting for him to write me back, but in all honesty, I don’t think I wanted him to.

  Once again, letting a military man into my life will bring another chance at heartbreak. However, I have no intention of falling in love with him. This all started as me trying to bring joy to someone else’s life and maybe finding a friend in the process, but slowly it’s becoming to mean so much more to me.

  A smile spreads across my face. Just the thought of my simple letter making that big of a difference in this man’s life warms my heart. Placing the letter on the table, I turn to start making dinner for Olivia and me. I fight the urge to run and check my email. I have a feeling that he may have just written me an email as well.

  As we sit down for dinner, I notice Livie looking at something on the table. “Whatcha got there, baby girl?”

  “Momma, what dis?” I see her holding the letter from Justin in her hand.

  “That’s a letter, from a man named Justin. He’s far far away, keeping us safe from bad guys.”

  “Just like daddy and Ba’man?” Excitement overtaking her little body, making her wiggle in her seat. I can’t help but chuckle, this little girl loves Batman.

  “Kind of. He’s in the military, like a soldier.”

  “Hmm… he come to my burfday.”

  “Oh, um. I don’t know about that baby. We’ll see, okay?”

  “Otay, Momma.”

  She dives right into dinner like nothing happened. Olivia’s resilience never ceases to amaze me, she just accepts things as the way they are. It’s her normal, so she deals with it and moves on. No tears for her, she just finds a way to deal with it and keeps a smile on her face.

  After dinner, I get Livie into the bath and ready for bed. We have some snuggle time and stories before bed. This used to be my favorite part of the day, but not tonight. Tonight, all I want to do is get to my laptop, so I can check to see if I have an email from Justin. The excitement I feel is very unsettling. We have only been writing back and forth for about three months now, and I’m already becoming even more attached. I keep reminding myself of what Emma said, but to have the same amount of faith she does in someone I don’t even really know, other than from a few letters, is unsettling.

  I am hardly able to concentrate on finishing Olivia’s story tonight because I am so occupied with thoughts of whether or not I have an email. Shit, I am a grown woman, not a silly teenage girl.

  “One more ‘orie, Momma?” Livie looks up at me as I close the book.

  “Sorry, baby girl. It’s bedtime. We have to get up early tomorrow, so you can go to school and play with your friends.” I climb out of her bed and tuck her in. As I place a kiss on her forehead, she snuggles deeper under her blankets.

  “Night Momma. Night Moon. Night Daddy. Wuv you,” she whispers before turning over. I tiptoe out of the room, shutting the light off in the process.

  This is our nightly routine. As soon as Livie was old enough, I started telling her about her father. She knows what a great man he was and that he died protecting our country. It’s hard for a child so young to understand the difference between heaven and hell, so my parents and I came up with the idea of telling her that he lived on the Moon. Every night we talk to Daddy, tell him about our day, and finish with a “good night” and an “I love you.”

  I head straight for my room and open my laptop. Looking out the window and up at the Moon, I decide to have my own conversation with Trent. “Is this the right thing to do? I can’t help but feel the need to keep writing to this man. As if this will change everything for the better, but what happens when he gets tired of us or he comes home and goes back to his real life? What then?” I whisper into the darkness as if I will get an answer.

  Taking a deep breath, I open my laptop and sign into my email. Scrolling through all the junk emails, I see nothing. I’m about to give up but decide to check the spam folder just in case. I bark out a laugh, covering my mouth to ensure to not wake up Olivia, as I notice the very creative email I received just this morning. Clicking the link, I begin to read.

  To: beccababycakes17@gmail.com

  From: justenoughmclovin@gmail.com

  Catwoman:

  It seems like you have had an eventful past couple of days! Nothing really new going on here, just sand and more sand. Email is a lot quicker way to hold conversations, I’m just not one to be attached to my computer all day. Although I would still like to receive a handwritten letter occasionally. I don’t know why, but there seems to be something much more personal about a handwritten letter, don’t you agree?

  I am excited to hear that you have found some friends that accept you and your little girl! It’s hard to find genuine people in this day and age. My team is like a family in itself. We have grown very close to one another, but as of late I have felt very separated from everyone else. My once rowdy bunch has now decided to settle down with wives and children.

  Until recently, that wasn’t something that I honestly thought about. I planned on doing my full time in the Navy and retiring. I always wanted more out of life than being a simple farm boy, to have my life have meaning. I have done amazing things in the Navy, but at the end of the day, it just feels empty.

  Reading your letter was the first time that I finally felt like I had someone in my corner, someone that understood how I felt. Thank you for sharing that with me, it wasn’t silly at all. Your excitement leaped off the page!

  Can’t wait to hear from you,

  GI Joe (this really is lame, but I shall accept it as a placeholder. Have Ms. Olivia think of something ASAP!)

  P.S. Please excuse the email address. I haven’t touched my email since I joined the Navy, chalk it up to a snotty teenager.

  By the time I reach the end of the email, I can feel my heart breaking. To know that Justin is so lonely, just as I have felt for so long is surprising. It seems that I have gotten my answer from Trent that I wasn’t expecting. Justin and I were paired up as pen pals for a reason beyond just bringing joy to someone with a letter. It seems that we both have been searching for that one person who would understand what the other has been going through.

  I quickly click the reply button and begin typing an email. I pour my fears and feeling into the email. Things I haven’t told anyone, not even my parents. For the first time, I let the tears fall freely. Not hiding how much it hurts to be seen as nothing more than a single mother and a widow because for the first time I have found someone that will understand.

  10

  JUSTIN

  I’ve been emailing back and forth with Becca for a while now. After that first email, we have formed a bond that I can’t really explain. I wasn’t expecting for her to pour her heart out in her response email. Hell, I wasn’t expecting to pour my heart into mine either, but it just felt right. That she would understand my thoughts and feelings.

  I open up my laptop and see that I have a new email from Becca. I immediately click on it and begin reading.

  To: justenoughmclovin@gmail.com

  From: beccababycakes17@gmail.com

  GI Joe,

  How are you doing? I hope that sand hasn’t gotten to you yet. Olivia has colored you a picture as promised. She wants you to know that they will be on the way soon. There is a nice stack waiting here for you. I hope you’re a DC Comics fan because this gi
rl loves Batman. Although she has recently changed her alliance to Robin. Apparently, when she was at my friends, she gave the title of Batman to someone else.

  Olivia has also informed me that you will be at her birthday, I’m still trying to find a way to talk to her about that. I’m sorry if that’s weird, but she insisted. I am not sure if you will even be back in time, but please don’t feel obligated to come either way.

  We are headed out for ice cream and to meet the girls, which is probably going to turn into an all-day thing. I swear even on my day off I come home tired, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I will write more later.

  Talk to you soon,

  Catwoman

  I can’t stop the smile the spreads across my face. The two never cease to brighten my day. Becca has told me about how she felt moving was the only answer. How everyone in her hometown, even her parents, were coddling her and only saw a broken woman who lost her husband. She was afraid that they would never let her become anything more than a widow. She told me how she had just discovered she was pregnant when she was notified her husband had died, meaning little Olivia has never known her father. I am completely in awe of her strength and courage.

  Just the thought of never knowing my own child, my heart breaks for both of them. Becca and Olivia are in my thoughts constantly. I rush to the computer every day to check my email and respond as quickly as possible. I thirst to know more about the two of them. Becca is perfect in every way, just the kind of woman I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.

  I know it sounds crazy, but I can see myself falling in love with her if I’m not careful. I know she barely knows me, besides what I put in these letters, but I won’t be here forever, and my term is almost up. If these feelings are mutual, I may just take the leap of faith and see where things could go between us.

  I know about Olivia’s obsession with Batman until she recently gave the title to someone else. I’m not going to lie, it made me think about the little girl I spoke to with my sister a while ago, but the chances of those two knowing each other are so slim. Olivia is also the quirkiest little girl ever! She loves being a princess, playing with worms, and Becca says she has the most infectious smile. I desperately want to see them both.

  I don’t want to pressure her into sending me a picture, but her simple description of having long black hair and green eyes doesn’t do her justice. Maybe if I bite the bullet first and send her a picture, she will send me one back. I hit the reply button, ready to send off an email, and I notice someone enter the bunkhouse. Turning around, I say, “Brass, what’s up?”

  “Phone call, CO is waiting.” The kid has come a long way since he joined the team. His girl is good for him, helping him focus, giving him purpose and direction.

  “Thanks, I’m on my way.”

  Looks like my email to Emma is going to have to wait. Returning my laptop to my footlocker, I head to take the phone call. Nothing good ever comes from the CO calling.

  The team is gathered so we can brief everyone at the same time, we have a recon mission that we have to leave for tomorrow. Time to start packing.

  “Alright guys, the Pentagon got some intel on a new terrorist group about 40 kilometers west of us. We are to go in, assess the situation, and gather intel. This is recon only, but you know as well as I do that shit turns fast, and we may end up fighting our way out. However, they don’t want this group to be aware of our location, so close to their hideout. We need to do everything in our power to get in and out undetected. The helo will drop us as close as they can, but we’ll have to huff it to avoid detection. We leave tonight at 2100. Call home, write emails, whatever you need to do. We’ll be out of comms for at least seven days with only the supplies we take with us. Questions?”

  They all shake their heads, itching to get to a computer. This is short notice but nothing we aren’t familiar with. If things keep going this way, we’re going to be extremely busy this deployment.

  With the group going to email their girls, I head to my footlocker and grab my laptop. It’s time for me to shoot off an email of my own.

  To: beccababycakes17@gmail.com

  From: justenoughmclovin@gmail.com

  Catwoman:

  Tell Olivia I am looking forward to more pictures, although I am running out of places to hang them. The guys say thank you as well, it’s nice to have things to hang up in the bunkhouse, makes it feel more like home. Depending on when her birthday is, I would love to be there, as long as it’s alright with you, of course. She seems like a sassy kid, I’m betting she’s fun to be around. Maybe I can have my sister come instead? Bring her a nice present from me? Would that be alright with you? I just want to see my girl smile for her birthday.

  Ice cream sounds wonderful right about now. However, the first thing I want to do is have some good barbeque and a beer when I get back. If you ever want to join us, you will be welcome.

  I wanted to let you know that I’m not sure when I will be able to send you another letter. The team is heading out for a while, but as soon as I get back, I’ll send you one. I’ve attached a picture of my team and me, so you can at least see what I look like for now. I’ll try to get some pictures from around here so you can see the land of sand that I’m currently residing in.

  Stay safe in Gotham, Catwoman. Give Robin a hug for me.

  I’ll talk to you soon.

  GI Joe

  I attached a picture of the team and I from the last deployment and hit send before I lose my nerve. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and shut my laptop. No sense in worrying about it now, what’s done is done. Hopefully she takes the hint and decides to send me a picture of herself in return, maybe one of her and Olivia too.

  It’s crazy to feel this way about someone I’ve never met, never heard her voice, but it doesn’t make it any less true. The intense need to protect them from the assholes of the world is strong like they’re a part of me. I already feel responsible for both of them. Shutting my laptop, I put it back in my footlocker. Trading it for my kit, it’s time to go do what I’ve been trained to do. Protect the ones I care about from the bad guys. It’s time to keep Gotham safe.

  11

  BECCA

  I flop back on my bed, I’m exhausted, both physically and emotionally drained. Twelve-hour shifts at work are kicking my ass, then Livie has been sick for the past few days. Poor little thing has had a fever and vomiting on and off . Katie and Emma have offered to help, but I don’t want either of them to get sick. Avery and Amber have been bringing things by as well, but we have only been talking through text. Both of them are about ready to pop, they can’t afford to get sick. I don’t know what I would do without all of them, I can’t even go to the bathroom without her at this point, and I have to carry her everywhere. Just them going to the store and checking on us is a huge help.

  Every time I check my email and see a new one from Justin, it puts a smile on my face. Ever since the beginning, I have felt a connection to him. The type of connection I haven’t felt with anyone except for Trent. It makes me happy and terrifies me at the same time. I love having this connection to someone other than Livie, but what happens when he comes home? Will he still want to speak to me then? I know he lives in the area, but we have never discussed what happens when he gets home. Maybe this is just something to pass the time while he is away, to be forgotten when he is back home and part of civilization again.

  Suddenly, my cell starts to ring, I slowly sit up and answer without checking the caller ID. “Good evening, Becca. I am so sorry to call you while your daughter is sick, but we really need you to come in. Marilyn called in sick, and we have a full house tonight. Is there any way you could make it? Even if it is only for a few hours, we would really appreciate it.” Cynthia, the head nurse of my department says over the line. Everyone knows my situation, and I know she never would have called if it wasn’t an emergency.

  I bite my lip and think of anyone that I might be able to call and ask to help. Oliv
ia hasn’t thrown up for almost twenty-four hours, and her fever is manageable. “Can I call you back? Let me make a phone call to check to see if someone would be willing to watch her. She’s actually feeling a lot better.”

  “That won’t be a problem at all. Thank you so much! I will try to get you out of here as soon as possible.”

  I hang up the phone and scroll through my contacts, looking for the only person I know who may be able to help.

  “What’s up hot stuff?” Emma answers on the first ring.

  “I need a huge favor. Could you possibly watch Livie for me? She hasn’t thrown up all day, and her fever is down. They called me into work for a few hours, I know they would never have called if it wasn’t an emergency.” I hold my breath and wait for her to respond.

  “No problem, do you mind bringing her to my place? She can just stay the night. I know you haven’t been sleeping well, so you can just head home and get some sleep after your shift.”

  “Bless you!” I say as I head toward Livie’s room. “I’ll get some things together and give her a bath. We should be there in an hour tops.”

  “No problem. See you soon,” Emma responds before hanging up.

  I stop at Livie’s door and take a look around. Not too messy that I can’t just pick up before I head to bed. “Hey Livie, how about a warm bubble bath?”

  “Yea!” Sitting up, she starts stripping off her Batman footie pajamas and runs down the hall to the bathroom. She’s obviously starting to feel better and get her spark back. I’ve already taken two days off of work, I need to show up tomorrow. Especially since they said Marilyn is sick now, let’s just hope I don’t get whatever Livie had.