Faith (SEAL'ed Book 5)

by AJ Alexander

  “Take a deep breath. They say that our loved ones are always around watching over us after they are gone. I wouldn’t be surprised if Trent is watching out for you and Livie. You said that you feel this connection with my brother. Have some faith, maybe you guys were put into each other’s path for a reason.”

  “Do you hear yourself right now? Would you even be saying this if she wasn’t talking about your brother?” I get up so fast that I knock the chair over as I start to pace around the kitchen.

  “Probably not because I would have no idea if the guy you were talking to is a complete psycho, but because he is my brother, I KNOW he is the most genuine human being I have ever met. He would give his life for you and Livie, and he barely knows you. The fact that he has told you anything about him is a big deal.” Emma steps into my path, making me stand still. “I have been pestering him to join one of these programs for over a year. Ever since Jimmy and I got together and the guys from the team started pairing off. Each one of them getting married and having children, my brother has seemed so lost and alone. He looks like he doesn’t have a place in any of our lives. He stopped coming to the team barbeques and events. We barely see him unless someone physically goes and gets him for something.

  “Did you ever think that you both possibly need each other? Please don’t cut my brother off just because you’re scared of getting hurt. Trust me, he is just as scared as you are.”

  I know she is right, but I’m having trouble fighting the fear that is starting to take over at the moment. I take in a deep breath and let it out. “Okay, I know you are right. Thanks for talking some sense into me. I know this won’t be the last time you will have to do it, but I have someone other than myself to think about in this situation.”

  “I know, and that’s why I let it slide, but seriously get your shit together. Justin is a great guy and would never do anything to hurt either of you.” Emma gives me a hug and heads toward the back of the house.

  I bend over and right the chair I knocked over in my panic, sitting down at the table. All of this is moving way too fast for me. I have no idea whether this is a good thing or not, but I do know that leaving Justin high and dry is not the best option. First thing is first, I need to make sure that Olivia understands that what is going on between Justin and me is nothing but friendship. I have to protect her from getting hurt if things go south.

  No matter what, she is my number one priority. If I get my heart broken, I can mend it back together, but I will not stand for her heart being broken when I could have easily done something to prevent it.

  We spend most of the day at Jimmy’s place, but right before dinner time, I decide we have to head home. We need to get back into our usual routine, me back to work and Livie going to day care every morning.

  I decide to keep it simple and make some Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, chicken nuggets, and a vegetable for dinner. I know it’s not the healthiest dinner, but Livie won’t fight me about eating it because it is her favorite. Just as the water begins to boil, I hear delighted squeals coming from the end of the hall, letting me know that Olivia is getting into something she shouldn’t be. With a heavy sigh, I make my way down the hallway and see her sitting on the floor in my room, with all her hair bows in her lap and haphazardly shoved in her hair.

  “Livie, what are you doing, monster?” My hands on my hips but a smirk on my lips.

  “I pitty!” she shrieks, hands in the air.

  “You are pretty, but those are for Momma to put in your hair. Can you put them back in the box, please?”

  “Mm hmm.”

  “Thank you, baby.”

  Picking up one bow at a time, she gets them picked up off the floor and pulls them out of her hair, making me cringe as she rips them from her hair.

  “All yone!” She’s so proud of herself.

  “Okay, dinner is almost ready. Can you please go put some pajamas on?”

  “Cookie!” Jumping up, she runs down the hallway toward the kitchen, her black cape billowing behind her.

  “You can have a cookie after dinner, and you have your PJs on.” She quickly changes direction and heads toward her room.

  She comes skidding into the kitchen just as I’m finishing up the macaroni. I place everything on a plate for her.

  “Make sure to blow on it. It’s still hot.” She nods her head and carefully starts to blow on her food before taking a bite. I wait a few minutes to make sure she doesn’t need anything before starting a load of laundry, picking up toys, stacking books and puzzles. Halfway through folding a load of towels, Olivia comes up to me waving a paper.

  “Momma, dis fo Ba’man.”

  “You colored him another picture? That’s so sweet of you. I’m sure he will love it.”

  “You take a pi-ture of me?”

  “Sure, I’ll take a picture of you.”

  “Bof us, for Ba’man.”

  “Okay, let’s take a picture for Justin.”

  Holding my cheeks with her hands, she looks me right in the eyes. “Ba’man.”

  “Okay, Batman.”

  I head over to my computer desk and grab my digital camera, holding it out in place, I wait for Olivia to get situated before I start the countdown. “Three, two, one. Say cheese,” she shouts, and we both smile brightly for the camera. I check to make sure both of our eyes are open before showing her the picture. She seems to be satisfied with the result.

  “Momma put it on the puter and sent it. Ba’man need it now so he not sad anymore.” The size of her heart never ceases to amaze me.

  “He is out working for a long time, so he may not see it for a little while, but we can send it right now. He will have it when he gets back, okay?”

  “Can we send my pi-tures too?”

  I place a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Of course, we can! Make sure you grab them all so I can scan them into the computer. I’ll even let you help.”

  “YEA! Than do Momma,” she shouts before heading for her room and the stack of artwork she has.

  I don’t know where things with Justin and I are headed, but I do know that he is starting to mean something to Olivia. I need to do everything I can do to protect her from getting hurt, even if that means hurting myself in the process.

  14

  JUSTIN

  After horsing around with the guys, taking another shower, and heading back to the bunkhouse, I have another email to read from my girls. My girls, just thinking about those two brings a smile to my face. Even the guys commented on the changes they noticed since I started writing to Becca. I’ve begun to be more than just their superior officer, letting my guard down and relaxing some when we aren’t on a mission.

  I’m always working so hard to keep my men safe and make sure they are in good spirits that sometimes I forget to keep my own spirits high as well. Becca and her letters have brought a significant change to my attitude. I can’t wait to get back to camp so I can check for emails or a letter from home. I feel as if there is someone waiting for me, that there is someone that will miss me if I am gone. Those two, even in this short amount of time, have made such a difference in my life.

  I head over to my footlocker and pull out my laptop, ready to check my second email from my girls. Once it finally boots up, I click on the waiting message and begin to read.

  To: justenoughmclovin@gmail.com

  From: beccababycakes17@gmail.com

  Batman,

  I have awesome friends, and you know her! Your baby sister Emma! I met Katie, Avery, and Amber too! They all love Livie so much. I’m at Jimmy’s, and they made me get drunk. Yes, made me! Avery and Amber are scary. You know how hot Jimmy is! I haven’t had sex in forever, do you think you can become a virgin again from lack of sex? Damn, that would be depressing. I have needs.

  I’ve been told that people do Skype sex dates? Have you ever done that? I don’t know that I could be that comfortable in front of a camera. Would you want to do that with me? I mean, you aren’t getting any out there, you’re probably as
desperate as I am at this point. Maybe a dirty email or something? I mean, anything to take the edge off.

  You help me, I help you.

  You can find me on both, using my email address.

  Catwoman

  I have to take a moment and process everything that Becca just told me in that email, but my brain keeps going back to her request for phone sex. That probably has to be one of the hottest things I have ever read. I can feel my cock swelling in my camis just at the thought of seeing her dripping pussy and hearing her moan my name as she makes herself cum.

  “Whatcha doing, LT?” Hard-On says, making me jump in my seat and slam my laptop shut in the process.

  “Shit! I need to make your ass wear a bell or something,” I growl, spinning around to take in his shit eating grin.

  “Looking at porn out in the open isn’t the best idea man. Anyone can walk in,” he says, shaking his head as he moves toward his bunk.

  “I wasn’t looking at porn. I was just checking an email.”

  “Ah, a dirty email. Sugar and Sweets send me those all the time. The only thing better than that is dirty Skype dates.”

  “You guys have dirty Skype dates?” I ask. Trying not to let him know I need this information. It must have been the twins that put the thought into her mind, not that I am complaining one bit. However, I am totally out of my element with this one. Why not get the information from the source?

  “How the fuck do you think I survive? You’ve seen those two! I couldn’t go a few days without seeing their tits and pussy.” He flops down on his rack, laying back with his arms crossed behind his head. “It’s as close to the real thing as we are going to get over here. I would take a picture, but just hearing them scream my name as they cum—damn, it makes me hard just thinking about it.”

  Hmm, I may have to take Becca up on her offer, but I doubt she even remembers writing the email if she was trying to drink enough to satisfy Avery and Amber. However, she did give me her Facebook information. Maybe a Facebook call would work, a chance to speak to her in person. I quickly start another email and let her know that I am back safely and hope that Olivia is feeling better.

  Once I am finished, I open Facebook and create an account. It’s time to talk to my girls. Then it’s time for a much-needed talk with my baby sister, she’s been holding out on me.

  15

  BECCA

  It’s been a week since I last heard from Justin, and I’m freaking out. I know they are probably fine. Emma and the girls would have been notified if something had gone wrong, but I can’t help but worry that something has happened to my friend.

  Thankfully, I have Olivia to keep me occupied. We color pictures for Batman every day, although she hasn’t let go of this idea of him being her new daddy. I don’t want to break her heart, but there is no promise he even feels that way about me. However ever since that night, I’ve been dreaming about all of us together, one big happy family.

  I am startled from my thought when Olivia comes skidding into the kitchen, holding her latest masterpiece. “Momma! New for Ba’man.”

  I can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. “That picture is so beautiful! We can add it to the stack on my desk. We are going to have to mail him a box soon, okay?”

  She wraps her little arms around my legs, giving me a squeeze. “Momma, when I talk Ba’man?”

  I choke back the tears that want to escape. If he comes home, when he comes home, I don’t know that he’ll want anything to do with us. He’ll have his life back, have access to everything again. He won’t need us anymore. Letting out a deep sigh, I run my fingers through her hair. “I don’t know, baby. He’s working to keep us safe right now.”

  “Cause he Ba-man,” she sighs and let’s go of my leg, heading toward the living room. I place her picture safely with the others.

  I hope Justin is okay. Hopefully, it doesn’t take too long for him to respond to my email, I need to know that he’s okay. As if he knew I was thinking about him, my phone chimes with an incoming email. I quickly pull it out of my pocket and open the email app.

  To: beccababycakes17@gmail.com

  From: justenoughmclovin@gmail.com

  Catwoman,

  You can try to take the grill away from Cowboy, but I have a feeling you’ll have to put up a big fight, he’s from Texas as well. The man knows his way around a BBQ.

  I’m sorry to hear that Olivia was sick, I hope she is doing better. How are you doing? I am sure having a sick little one must have been tiring. I hope your new friends were around to help you out. Speaking of friends, I hear your new friend happens to be my one and only baby sister. Don’t believe anything she says about me. It’s all lies, unless it’s good things.

  I had some R&R with the guys when we got back, so there are better pictures of me this go around as you requested. There are also some new ones of the guys, if you want to share with the girls.

  When we go on missions, we are always as safe as we can be. Now, my definition of safe and yours are probably different, but we take all the precautions we can. Unfortunately, our job is dangerous, and sometimes people get hurt, but we are extremely well trained. Most of these OPS we could do in our sleep as long as nothing went sideways.

  Hope to hear from you soon,

  Batman

  I click the attachment and start scrolling through the pictures, taking a seat on the couch as Livie sits and watches Princess Sofia on television.

  “Livie, look! Batman sent us pictures.” The smile that spreads across her face is infectious. She immediately climbs into my lap and begins asking questions about each person in the pictures. I have learned from talking to the girls who each of the men are and quickly point them out to her.

  Justin is honestly the most gorgeous person I have ever met with jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes. Now that I can get a closer look at his face, his eyes look like they are peering into my soul. His chiseled jaw and broad shoulders look amazing with no shirt on, I have to glance away and check to make sure I’m not drooling as I sit here with my daughter.

  We are still scrolling through pictures as a Facebook video call comes through from a strange name. I get up and walk away from Olivia before I answer. “Hey, Becca.” I gasp in surprise, almost collapsing onto the floor.

  “Hey, Batman.” My voice is breathier than I mean for it to be, but damn, he’s even hotter in person.

  “I wasn’t sure what time it would be, but you sent me your information, so I figured I would call and let you see that I was okay. You seemed really worried.” I’m turning into a puddle of mush as we speak, this man took the time to think of Olivia and I when he is in an active war zone, fearing for his life.

  “You did NOT have to do that. Your email and pictures were enough. Livie and I just got finished looking through them actually,” I respond with a smile, heading back toward the living room and a very excited three-year-old.

  “Ba’man?” she asks as she bounces up and down on the couch.

  “Yes, it’s Batman.” I barely have time to spin the phone around before her little hands are snatching it out of my hands.

  “BA’MAN!” she screams so loud, I’m sure she broke Justin’s eardrums.

  “Hello, Robin,” he chuckles.

  Suddenly, Olivia’s face falls, and the tears begin. “Ba’man gone, Momma,” she wails as she climbs off the couch. Handing me the phone with hope in her eyes. When I take the phone, Justin is gone. Crap. I really wanted to talk to him some more. We didn’t even get to say goodbye.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Something must have happened. He will call us back again another time.” I bend down and pick her up. “How about we go take a bath, and I will read you an extra story tonight?” I know that this won’t make up for Justin, but I have to at least try. It breaks my heart for her to be so sad. She doesn’t even respond, I get a shake of the head against my shoulder as she sniffles.

  “Alright, let’s start the water and get you some toys.” I put her down and start the water.
Just as I am putting the toys in, a message comes through from Justin.

  Sorry, the call got dropped. Internet is spotty around here at best. I’ll try again another time. Tell Olivia ‘Sweet dreams, Robin. Batman will keep you safe.’

  I have to smile at his thoughtfulness, he took the time to ease my nerves about his well being by calling as well as saying goodnight to Olivia. However, I never should have let her talk to him, not yet. I have no idea what his intentions are for when he comes home. I have to protect my little girl at all costs.

  Once I finish up Olivia’s bath, I sit down to write Justin an email. Tears trickle down my cheeks because of the amazingness of this man that hardly knows us. I have a feeling he is going to be my downfall.

  16

  JUSTIN

  Finally, being able to see Becca and Olivia was amazing! She is more beautiful than anything I could have imagined, pictures do not do her justice. My desire to be there for them, in any way they will have me, has just become stronger. I don’t know how to describe it, I wouldn’t say that I’m in love with her, but the need to protect them both from all the pain and heartbreak they have been through is the only thing I want right now.

  Becca is so beautiful, down to her soul, she’s a beautiful person. Sitting here, I can’t stop the thoughts of all the shit I want to do to her. Looking around me, I see that the room is empty. Immediately, my dick is hard, straining in the confines of my uniform pants.

  Releasing my dick, I groan when my hand squeezes. I close my eyes and picture my life with Becca. Desperate to feel her against me, surrounding me but having to hide from Olivia, thoughts of our future together fill my mind.