"Because maybe I do care about something. Haven't we already had this exact same conversation?" he asked, pretending to be confused. Alex reached out and slapped him playfully, her hand oddly lingering against the skin of his shoulder. When was the last time she had touched another being?
Their eyes met, and she slowly pulled away, leaning back on her hands and spreading her legs out in front of her.
"Besides, if I am ever going to know what side to choose, I have to see your powers grow." His voice was teasing now, but she wondered if there was a way he could show her her powers or help her discover them.
"You know what my powers are?" Alex asked him, truly wanting to know.
"Yes, and I can help you find them yourself, in time."
"Okay." She would have agreed to anyone and anything at that point if it gave her a real purpose.
"Really?" he asked, surprised.
"Yes."
"We start in two days."
"Wait, why two days?" But before she had finished the question he had already propelled himself into the air with style, too far away for her to hear the answer.
Chapter 18
If you aren't in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret. ~Jim Carrey
Alex felt differently when she woke up the next morning. She felt like there was hope to be had, and when her doorbell rang, she wondered if Oryx had changed his mind and decided to show up early. But as she swung the door open, she found quite a different angel on her doorstep, the kind with white wings that seemed to stretch out for miles and a soft smile playing on his face. He looked shy almost like he was unsure he should be there. She did have to admit she did not expect to see Emuriel for a long time, even though he had promised to visit.
"Emuriel, is it really you?" Alex asked hesitantly, sure to believe everything to be a trick anymore. Being alone had not done her well.
"Yes, it is me. I hope you're happy to see me. I came as soon as I could because I didn't feel like I should leave you for so long. I really am supposed to be doing something else, but I had to come see you, even if it isn't for long."
Alex physically felt her body droop at the mention that he wouldn't have a lot of time, but that was the way it had to be. She knew that he had a job to do, one that wasn't just going to go away. It just hurt to be alone. She felt dead half the time.
"Alright, well come in and sit with me," she offered, opening the door fully so he could fit in with his wide wings and broad shoulders. He looked just as good as ever, that golden hair and that perfect face. It was like he had been sculpted simply to be looked at.
"How are you doing?" he asked as she turned around from shutting the door only to find him very close, much closer than she expected. Not that she hadn't felt like she needed his contact, his touch, his kiss. But she hadn't expected him to be so willing to give that.
"I have seen better days," she admitted to him, seeing no need to pretend she was okay when she wasn't. "But I think I am starting to get better. It's just hard, knowing it's gone, and the others, they can't forgive me."
"They'll come around," he whispered as he got closer, looking her over as if testing her out before he finally allowed his lips to brush across hers ever so gently. It was one of those kisses that made you feel drunk and disconnected but left you needing so much more. "I don't know what it is because I have never kissed anyone before, but I like doing it. I like kissing you, that is," he admitted to her, and Alex couldn't help but giggle a little at the idea that she was having such an effect on this powerful angel.
"This isn't going to get you in trouble, the way you are with me, is it?" she asked to be sure. She didn't want to be responsible for any more damage. She just couldn't take ruining anyone else’s lives.
"No, we won't go far enough with this to get in trouble. Remaining pure is the key, and there is nothing impure about a kiss," he explained, sitting down on the couch and offering her a seat next to him. It was so strange; the sight of an angel on the couch, almost comedic.
Alex sat down with his arm tight around her as she was forced to lay her head on his strong and warm chest. It should have made her feel comforted. His presence used to do that so easily, but there was something strange with her brain right now as the thought of Amon and Oryx both flashed through her mind. She felt like she was betraying them somehow by being there with the leader of the Revenant; in his arms even though she never felt like that before. Why was this suddenly feeling so wrong after they had already made a connection? It would be a shame to lose Emuriel too, over this, when not only was he all she had left truly, but he was so pure and good. He certainly didn't deserve a heartache like she could deal to him.
"One day, when you learn to become one of us, the Revenant, we will be allowed to wed." Alex blushed at his suggestion, but she also felt strange, her heart in a complete panic. The thought of becoming one of them and marrying him had not come to her mind. Not that marriage had crossed her mind at 17 at all anyway.
She decided to settle into his arms as long as he could offer them, and she would worry about the rest later, trying to tell herself there was absolutely nothing to worry about. This was how it was supposed to turn out. Wasn’t it?
***
Two days were up, and Alex found herself standing on a dune, further away from town than she had allowed herself to go before and dressed to fight. She couldn't even fathom what her power could be at this point. She had to be prepared for anything, and so there she was in a pair of exercise leggings and a long sleeve tee she found in the closet, her hair in a ponytail. The wind was more foreboding today, and she was hoping as the sun shone over the horizon that Oryx was actually going to keep his promise.
Sure enough, he appeared out of nowhere like always, and Alex couldn't help but notice the way the light hit him and how, despite being a dark angel, he could find a way to look so regal. His sword was properly hilted, and he looked as if he were dressed for war, leather straps across the tattoos on his bare chest and armor across his shoulders that did not look like it was made by mortal hand.
"Why did you look so surprised to see me?" he teased her and broke her away from her embarrassing trance looking at him. That's not what this was about, and the angel of death was not someone to feel that about, anyway. He was too tricky. Too unpredictable.
"I didn't know if you would show up or not, especially after that ‘two days’ thing."
"Well, I can't exactly find myself here with that golden boy around, can I? And I knew he would be around soon." He shrugged at her.
Alex was still amazed he knew so many things but also a little annoyed and yet amused at his assessment of Emuriel. "I wouldn't call the leader of The Revenant a boy," she teased him back, and he looked miffed by the suggestion but said nothing else back.
Instead, he took a more serious stance in front of her just a couple of feet away. "Are you sure you are ready to know everything about what you can do?" he asked her, his eyes raking over her. She didn't know if he was sizing her up or checking her out. The angel of death was a tricky creature; one who could be as black as night or as white as snow in a moment's notice.
"I don't think I have ever been more ready," Alex replied, her heart racing as she awaited the answer to all of her questions about what was lying dormant inside of herself. She was ready to hear what good she could do going forward, no matter whose side it was for at this point.
"I hope you know I am not just going to tell you, hand it over to you like feeding a baby a bottle," he warned her with his eyebrow raised. "You will never unlock your potential fast enough that way. No, you need to learn this fast and hard."
Alexandra sighed, but she should not have expected any less from the angel of death. Not to mention the fact that he was likely right, and she didn't want him to go easy on her and ruin her chances of being something or someone great. She had a feeling at the end of this training Oryx would pull something else out of his sleeve and then she might be able to chan
ge something about what she did or at least redeem herself in this fight for worlds. She just hoped when it was time she didn't have any hang ups about betraying some man she loved, even if it was about Emuriel. If he loved her, he would understand. He would wait while she did what she needed to.
"Okay, fine. Don't go easy on me, then,” she said, setting her own stance with determination as the wind picked up for just a moment and blew her ponytail over one side of her shoulder. She ignored it and awaited his instructions.
"As adorable as you look, we will not be doing any combat right now. Not the physical kind. Everything you need to learn involves exercising the mind." Oryx tapped the side of his head as he said it for emphasis. "Now, I want you to find a place in the sand, any place within a few feet of you, and I want you to concentrate on it. You will need to clear your mind, whatever that means you need to do. Just focus on every little detail, every grain of sand."
Suddenly feeling like she was in some cheesy kung fu movie, Alex picked a spot somewhere behind and to Oryx's right. It was a spot that was lower than where she was standing, and she tried to focus on it, taking a deep breath as she counted how many dips and ripples there were in the tiny dune. She focused on trying to give the shape it took at the top a name along with the little curly cue like it didn't even belong to something not man made. Suddenly, without understanding how it even happened, she found herself staring at a taller dune as well as Oryx's back. Alex looked down to see that she was now in the spot she had been concentrating on.
"Woah!" she called out, spinning in a circle in disbelief. "How did I do that? Is that my power?"
"Only a fraction of it, I would guess," Oryx responded. "You just need to practice it and stretch it out much like a weak muscle, and then the sky won't even be the limit. You could go anywhere."
Alex was pretty smug with herself at the thought of being able to teleport, and she let out a triumphant giggle before turning back to Oryx. "Okay now, what's next?"
"I always knew you would be a great student. Now, we do it another thousand times until you can do it flawlessly form longer distances."
Alex rolled her eyes with a huff and followed his instruction yet again, determined to get back to the spot she had been in, though the slightest hint of Oryx's shoulder was blocking her from full view. Still, she was sure she had a perfect picture as she could get under any circumstances in her head and would succeed. She put all she had into it only to find herself stunned and being held by two strong arms. She blinked up at him as he cradled her, and her chest heaved a little as their eyes met.
"I don't think you had a clear head that time," Oryx teased her with a wink, kissing her gently on the forehead before setting her down and going back into angel bootcamp mode. She had never seen this side of Oryx and never expected it, but she owed him. “Now, try again and see if you can have better aim and less distractions this time., As much as I enjoy being a thorn in your side during typical situations, I do not wish to be one here."
"You know what I am about to ask you, then," she announced to him through gritted teeth as she tried to figure out the next direction she might try. That was clearly not in her favor. "I need to know why you are doing all this for me and why you are suddenly so interested in my well-being, especially considering you seemed to be on the opposite side as Amon, before."
"Oh, Alex, I already told you all you need to know about me to figure it out. I do not get stuck with the trivial, in this case that being whose side I am on or not on. This has nothing to do with Amon, not directly, nor would I disrespect a fallen dark angel in making this about him one way or the other. This is completely and wholly about you."
She didn't like the way he bore into her when he said that, and it was like she could feel his eyes all over her. She swore his eyes were delving into her very soul and searching around in there while trying to find a place for himself. Maybe it was her heart he was after. If someone had asked her if that was possible just a few weeks ago or a few months ago, that the angel of death would even try to get on her good side for any reason other than to use her and spit her out, she would have thought they were insane. Maybe she was the insane one now, but she was starting to believe he might be capable of more than met the eye. After all, wasn't Amon, or was she still willing to believe he had also been using her to try and be saved? It was all so confusing when it came to love. None of it made any damn sense.
"Are you ready to continue?" he asked her.
"Not quite yet," Alex retorted, being cheeky and thoughtful. "What makes you think that you can weasel your way into my heart when I am supposed to be earning my spot among the Revenant to be with Emuriel, when I have already given my heart to another before you, who I have destroyed with my own choices?" she questioned giving him a test of her own for once, sick of him always having the upper hand.
Alex thought she saw Oryx faulter for a moment, that air of cockiness and mystery removed for only a moment before he recovered once more. "Well, well, if I haven't somehow taught you something much more than your powers." His eyes flashed at her dangerously as he began to step around her in a cat and mouse dance, though she was not scared. It was not fear at all that caused the goosebumps to rise on the back of her neck. It was the possibility that her body might somehow belie the fact that she was hiding from him her current, deepest, darkest secret. She was beginning to find an inch of trust for him, maybe an inch of something more as well, but she would stay closed lipped about this one. She would have to. Showing her hand to one so treacherous would surely mean her demise.
"Maybe you're losing your touch," she threatened, her hands crossing over her chest as if to protect what was underneath. He came so close, like a predator staring down at her with his canines showing in a deadly grin. But then he backed off.
"Maybe I believe that somewhere in that mixed up brain of yours I might still be someone worth choosing at the end of all of this." His answer surprised her, and she cleared her throat, desperate to get off the subject.
"Alright then; let's get back to business."
"As you wish."
Chapter 19
Sometimes it is necessary to be lonely in order to prove that you are right. ~Vladimir Putin
THREE weeks. Three weeks she had been training with Oryx and getting stronger. For many days she frustrated herself with the fact that she could only transport herself a few feet away and not always so precisely. It could be a little to the left or right, and Oryx did not go easy on her, just as she had asked. It was a fail to him even if she missed by a single grain of sand. How he could tell her accuracy like that she could only chalk up to super sight or something like that, but it was infuriating. They had many yelling matches over it, a passion often rising in her like bile out of those moments that she could not explain.
Now, things were different. For three days in a row, she had been able to place herself wherever she wanted to, and he was able to follow her and see she had done it and done it well. They had explored different points in the city to use and in the desert, and she had even dared one time to transport herself right outside of that white building where she had felt a prisoner for so long; on that world she should not have even known how to get to. She was proud of herself, and she knew it was time to find the others and tell them. It was time to assemble them and put their heads together on what was next. But first she had to find a way to make amends; to show she was trying to do something worthwhile, to rid herself of the numbness and regret. She finally felt alive again.
Looking out the window on this particular morning, she did still hold a cup of warm joe in her hand that she was sipping at as she watched the sun come up. But instead of feeling dull and empty she began surveying the area and wondering where she might find her old companions. It had been so long, she sometimes forgot the voice of the girl who was always telling jokes or the face of the boy who had come in and changed everything for them while held by the Revenant. She felt like someone had plucked her memories away from her, and sh
e had beat herself up about it only a little, for as long as she had allotted herself the time for it before moving on.
She thought about which way she would go and how she would keep track of where she had been in her head. And then how would she know that a certain home was occupied, if someone was inside it? She would just have to hope for signs of life; a quirky plant or paint job, movement, or a lot of laughter and noise. If she knew them, they would all be close together if not in the same place, which sounded like it would be easier to tell. Then again, finding that one place amongst an entire created city, by the desert, was like finding a needle in a haystack.
Alex put her cup on the sink like normal and went through the process of dressing appropriately if she would be up against the heat all day and night as she scoured the place. She was determined not to go home until she knew where they were. She was sick and tired of being alone on this barren planet, this tiny world with little creation beyond a bit of illusion, and she needed to feel more like she was at home. And home involved the four of them the friends she had been missing.
For hours she trekked up and down streets on steep inclines and dipping hills while the sun beat down on her body. It wasn't until almost sundown she finally spotted a familiar head of dark hair that had grown since they had arrived, springing waves down Carlie’s back, longer than even Alex's. She was at the market, surveying the option for fruit when Alex worked up the courage to approach, glad it was her she had seen first. She hoped she was alone because alone she had more of a shot at convincing her to listen rather than the group as a whole.
"Carlie," she whispered standing behind her. Carlie turned on her heal, an apple in her hand quickly dropped unused and unwanted to the ground.
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