Dear Dawn

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Dear Dawn Page 21

by Aileen Wuornos


  Dawn my beloved childhood friend an sis.! You’re a trip Man!——Namin your boy cat Debbie . . . Why on earth didnt you check the kittens little crotch. Ha Ha Ha. Was it “Then” to little to see. If you did you probably thought it was the clit of the female. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Well dont feel bad. I once did the same thing – untill ty steered me straight. ol’ country gal knew the difference . . . Love Aileen –

  11-27-96

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . Man Dawn, what Barry did to Keith. Had I of ever known this – I believe a barrel of a gun would of stared in his face before Mallory anyday! I hated him before you ran me down on all this info – But surely you could imagine how much NOW. I’d reload and reload on his scummy fuckin ass . . .

  . . . Now some 3 days (before [Keith] died) I had hitched off the road of my wandering around the US. / to see Lori ... she picked me up and began telling me about Keith. How bad off he was and that he’s at Barrys now., could die any day ... had I only known / I would of tricked in troy got a place and stayed with Keith as long as I could. I just never knew.!

  . . . I asked for a flick of Keith . . . So I grabbed it . . . knelt down and began to pray – asking God to end his life, so that this tormented state he was in would end . . . Never let up on the tears. Couldn’t, loved Keith to the max.

  The next day at noon, Lori came home from work. she said. Keith died this morning ... I was shocked . . . Needless to say “I strongly feel” my prayers on him were answered . . . During the funneral I remember you there. I also remember how Lori, Erv,154 Barry and Diane (our so called cough cough ... real biological mother we never really knew) all looked at me in utter discust when I began loosing it in tears . . .

  Amazing! Here was my real blood brother, nobody else’s Real blood brother ... And them at the funneral lookin at me as if I was crazy. Man. FUCK YOU.!

  . . . Picked up Keiths ashes, and some stuff he left behind . . .

  I then drove down to Florida and spread his ashes in the gulf of Mexico. Looking through his stuff I found a Bible. In it was Two dobbie brother tickets . . . And also a pamphlet on Jesus and if you believe in him sign here. His name was there. So cool. So precious. Around a year later., the song Jesus is just alright with me was playin on the radio, as I mentioned to someone how much I liked the song – but dont have any idea who sings it. Then I was told the Dobbie Brothers. I went What – huh – Man alive – that’s probably why Keith left the dobbie bro. tickets in the Bible! It blew me away. Keith, he was so smart and soooo coool. Good thinking bro. God I loved him . . .

  Well, got to close Buddy. So more to come.! . . .

  Until the next flight in,

  Love

  Aileen

  Christmas Message

  12-14-96

  Shootin the Breeze With ya On!

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . Dashing through the snow, on a one horse slope an sleigh.

  through the fields we go, laughing all the way.

  Bells of Bob Tails ring, making spirits bright.

  Ō what fun it is to ride, with a sleighing song tonight.!

  Ō.

  I believe that’s how the last line goes. Its been moons since I’ve heard or sung this song. But I hope you were singing it with me. You see Christmas may be a pagan holiday.... But! we can always counter-attack Lucifers scheme by/worship-ping Christ and his birth and mission and enjoy it . . .

  Therefore Good Buddy!

  I’m dreaming of a while christmas, Just like the one we use to know. Ba da da da da da . . . da da da da.. da . . . We bring the Devil down. And we bring up Christ.!!!

  . . . Love your letters and recent pictures of you and everything – 4-Sure! My heart pours out all over for you. Only wish I could literally show it.. I wanted to during visiting our last 2 occassions. But. I knew I’d cry if I was more expressive. And also was quite shy about how terrible I looked due to this state of being, slowly taking effect of all and everything of me. I’d looks 20 times different and healthy – of-course – in the free world . . .

  I sign off now Buddy ... See ya Soon Love, Aileen

  1-10-97

  Friday

  Dear Dawn,

  Good Mornin! Its 3:03. Cant believe it either, that here I am, literally up this early. What it is, is that some girl upstairs – up in CSU. Crisis Suicidal Unit, is up and has been going off. Poor thing! Sounds all so sad. Either she’s filled with hatred to the core, or just down right insane. who knows. But she’s been screaming and banging up there like crazy. Sounds like she’s directly above me too. Sooo! I’m up! And am glad I am! I need to catch up with the mail. I’ve been so upset about stuff (around) going on that Ill park everything and seek peace, by tuning this world out of my head. I have too at times! Otherwise – locked in a cage like this I’d go insane an purhaps be like the chick upstairs. (uh-hem. . . . far cry though.... I’m way to tough for that garbage) . . . OK. Catch up time! and so here I go!

  ... Pleeeeeese Dawn, give up this house idea. / 200,000. Where on earth are you going to get 200,000? quit the dream gal . . . Who knows – With diligent search, you may find a bran new place – out in the Country with – a fire place – plus central heat – and a shower with a bathtub . . . Pleeeeeese. . . . though. . . . . drop this ridiculous idea of owning this aged old home for 200,000 . . . that money will never be there for / and Daves sole check could never handle . . .

  So girlfriend! Whats it gonna be now.! (?) . . . Ha Ha Ha . . . You remind me of..... Lucy on / I Love Lucy! She was always up to somethin . . . leaving poor ricky near to loose it. Ha Ha.

  Hap Hap Happy New Year! Love Aileen

  1-10-97

  Dear Dawn,

  Top of the Mornin Mate! Its now 5:15 and Im still rollin here on the ink . . .

  You asked if Arlene sent me a Christmas card. Notta One/nna. . . . since back in 95 I made it very clear our jazz was over . . .

  If Alexander can reverse this Adoption bill.155 Cool! Thank you Tony! Big Time! . . . The Winch makes me sooo sick. plu plu plu plu plu. pluuuuuuuu

  On Sound off. Yes would you please send him the 13 chapters ... He’s to only Xerox contents . . . then send this all back. alright!

  On the Mallory transcript. There is none. Your talking about. The Confessions . . . I’d perferr all the material you have, not to be touched by other sources so as nothing gets tossed to and fro that it becomes lost . . . My lines of thinking were on a group working on my book . . .

  Yes ... my thoughts were on the lines of a huge long table with everything spread out and separated properly . . . “After the book”. / Then selling stuff would be the time to do it. There will definetly come along in time, those very interested in art work, poetry, personnel recorded thoughts, etc, clearly willing to spend plenty for such signed memoirs . . .

  Love ya Buddy

  4-Now Aileen,

  1-27-97

  Dear Dawn,

  Dawn! Your talking about Nationalities in your letter here. Whats . . . DERMAN. . . . ! Somethin from pluto.? You mean – GERMAN my dear . . . GERMAN. . . . ! Just turn your head once around. Tighten the screw-up. Ha Ha Ha. Anyway!!! . . . . . . so your Irish and Derman. . . . ooops I mean German Ā! Thats cool! at least your not Russian. My Grandparents – being Lori and Barrys real parents – were full blooded (Finnish – Finland) and Keith and I real Father was German. If anything else, I dont know it . . .

  I cant believe how tall you are. 5'7" WoW! I’m only 5'4 1/4". And I thought as a kid I’d only be as tall as Lori. 5'1" or 2". I was fooled again. Many think I’m taller then 5'4", but no way. Was measured upon arrest. Still 5’4 1/4".

  Ō man, I see you’ve got Indian in ya too. Cool.! Now there’s a race I have high respect for. In my book. these are good darn spirited people. And what the White Man did to them when they began invading America to make it . . . America.... makes me Sick . . . Still dont see why they call em Red either. When the dam cowboys were the Red. Red neck lowlife’s . . .

  Well. Let me wrap this Baby up f
ull of Hugs and Kisses, with all my Love to my sis up there in the Big chill ... Ill write more after the Super bowl . . .

  Stay Warm!

  Love

  Aileen

  2-2-97

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . I also know Tony bugs you, and repeats himself. And that his intentions could be more than free concern. Like a book interest of his own after my death. But . . . I’m going to play along ... so I can get the needed help of the problems occurring OK.

  As for you being involved. Only to send Sound off – off. After you do . . . there shouldn’t be anything else you’ll need to do. So – RELAX! ...

  Now I know before I had mentioned to be careful at stating any personnel jazz to anyone about me. True. And I pray you’ll always do this – with anyone else – except him. He’s (in) Dawn. So why block the man’s way . . . He may even be there for you – like he has this time – “after my death.” Like a brother. An earthly angel ... Plus friendship is down right FUN to have. So if you will – energize and let it grow . . . Maybe someday he’ll send you tickets to England and back for a visit. And needless to say – wouldnt that be fun! . . . Plus he’s a very smart man. and has power. He could teach you alot. Listen and learn from him. This is how I did it on the road with executives and others . . .

  Well.... Time for me to close er up here good buddy! ... The house is now in your name. Cooool . . .

  I Love ya Buddy!

  4-now

  Love

  Aileen

  2-18-97

  Dear Dawn,

  ... I believe my bladder’s screwed up. Also my left ear. Com harassment has caused this. So I’m not up to par . . . either. Therefore the letter writting will be few . . .

  Say. Just for the heck of it. Will you play a buck for me on the lotto. Hopefully my numbers will strike gold. So here they are. I see – at the end of the rainbow . . . , a Six (6) Twenty five (25) Fourty Two (42) Eighteen (18) and a Twenty (20) So

  6, 25, 42, 18, 20

  . . . if it’s a Winner. Well, Just Enjoy, and dont forget my canteen needs is all I’ve got to say . . .

  Goll Darn! My toilet flusher is stuck! Poop! Shoooot! now I definetly got to close and fix this up . . . Take good care.

  Love

  Aileen,

  2-26-97

  Dear Dawn,

  Helloooo! Hope your doing fine, since surgery. Whats up!? My god you developing cancer or what! Got me worried. Please keep me posted and get well soon. Love ya much. And my pillow’s full of tears in prayer. My buddies fallin apart. sniffle sniffle.

  Has Tony called? . . . He’s said to many things over the phone thats put me under suspicion of him. Let me just leave it at that alright.

  Well my birthdays this friday and I cannot believe Ill be 41. Feel mentally 25 . . . Say when is it when our periods stop.? Now this one I wish would happen SOON. So sick of it. To many dam years to under go! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ... Tell me of any women who enjoys the rag.! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha . . .

  So linda sent ya a Rod Stewart tape. Cool. Is it a tape or CD.!? Is it the best of!? . . . I saw him on Elizabeths Birthday Celebration gig on T.V. the other night. Lookin good. He’s still the same, but looks great in the beard. I see he still wears thee ol’ hair style though. The tid bit spike look. Chuckle Chuckle. I remember a party I was at when Ō about 15. Was in a tree smoking pot with Bobby ... Maggie May [was] playin. Suddenly Bobby lost his balance and fell outta the tree. a row boat was under us and he fell in that thing. OOweeeee eeeee www. But he didnt get hurt . . . One of my favorite songs it was of his back then. And everytime I hear it today, I flash back to me and Bobby – up in that tree and all . . .

  Well, let me wrap it up here. Need to take a nap . . .

  Love ya Buddy,

  Aileen,

  3-4-97

  Dear Dawn,

  Helloooo! And now its your turn!

  Happy Birthday!

  ... Well as thee ol’ childrens cartoon books of Dr. Seuss’s and the Cat in the hat. says.... “I dont feel as old as all that I feel like a kitten instead of a cat. And. . . . Eating cake in the bathtub still has great appeal, so I’d say youre only as old as you feel. Ha Ha Ha . . . True! I could just imagine how much you’d love to do this last ditty. Sittin in a tub with Mr. bubbles and some B-cake. Emm. refreshing thought A!? . . . Happy Birthday Buddy!

  Well I’ve plenty to catch up with you on, so let me get down to it. OK.

  Tony!.... I’ve decided to tell the truth to him on Mallory. Well, his reaction in being truthful turned me off royal! So I believe he’s history once again. And so now I need you to do me this one sole favor. DO NOT EVER send him anything from here on. Even after my death. The guy has been only out for a book . . . So I’m letting him go. Like Steve and Arlene. He’s History. 4-GOOD . . .

  On me thinking your stupid sometimes. DAWN put it to rest. You DONT read my letters right. You DO get the wrong impression. Geeez! ... When ever you do read my letters . . . think of me talking to you in a very soft and friendly voice. There’s no domination buddy. Just friendship with a whole lotta Love. OK.

  Well Good Buddy! Time to close er up! . . . Let me say once more. Happy Birthday! . . . Love ya. . . . Aileen,

  3-10-97

  Dear Dawn,

  Well. . . . I feel a bit better getting my anger off my chest in my short letter. Geeez. I didnt want to deal with Tony any more. Just let him move on and bye. Now I cant because he’s got sound off . . .

  Geeez dawn.! Man.! Ill never involve you in legal area’s again. You get to confused....

  Well my friend. Showers are about to begin. So I need to get ready to take one. We get 3 showers a week. Mon. Wens. Fri. Woooopēēēē! Weeee hōōōō! Ha Ha. Ill catch ya in the next kite. Untill then., Love

  Always

  Aileen

  3-14-97

  Dear Dawn,

  I would love to fill you in on many area’s of Tony in the things he said . . .

  Let me tell you that, any down to earth honest attorney who really cares about their client, is not going to sit there and continually say . . . that you as my client will “never ever” get out of prison EVER! Who the hells side are you really on. Then! If you believe Im innocent of self-defense – you’d be soaring for ways to get there freedom. Not life in prison ...

  This gal that’s more then likely up for execution. Well she’s Atheist. Very hate filled when you mention God or Jesus at any time. One day I was sayin. “Man I’d love to go back in time and be in Jesus days,” to see him, maybe be his disciple or somethin you know.” carrying on as she cut me off and just as nasty as a snake hissin in the grass – she blurted out. The only reason you’d like to go back in time to see Jesus, would be so you could have sexual intercourse with him.” SICK! The bitch is obviously “Possessed”. ! . . . Anyway! I hear she’s on her way out to court. I can only suspect for an execution hearing. / A date being set . . .

  Ō man. Check this out. There was this Gal somewhere up north who was walking along the street in the rain. Well lightening hit her twice. And it did nothing to her.! . . . Turns out. She’s Christian . . . So you see my friend. The magnitude of God! He is so Powerful! So Beautiful! So full of Love.! . . .

  I need to close here good Buddy, but theres more to come . . .

  Love always

  Aileen,

  3-31-97

  Dear Dawn,

  Helloooo! ... I know I have confused you in legal area’s. But truely the last.

  Tony is one gol dam liar. Just End it with him and I will on my part do likewise down here. As far as attorneys. I’ve two here in Miami. 30 minutes away. CCR. And therefore will keep all buisness solely to them . . . OK. You’ll not hear from them. I’ve explained I didnt want you bothered . . .

  I feel the reason Dave Keeps comin home with colds and all, is through stress and worries concerning this house. You know and I know. his one sole paycheck cannot handle all these bills . . .

  Its nothing to be ashamed of. Its just the way it is . . . Be r
esponsible in your daily living. / Not rediculous and irrational. Well. Theres my personnel opinion

  . . . I wont bother you again on the subject. But just one last thing. Are you and Dave, really happy . . . I myself feel something is breaking up the real happiness you guys once had. And to many bills is the reason. for starters . . .

  More to follow. Much more to catch up on. okee doke.

  Love Aileen,

  4-3-97

  Dear Dawn,

  ... Say yeah Dawn. This U.F.O. thing and the cult.156 Hum! Well a week is past, and they said they’d be back. Poor soul’s lead by the wack of the leader of the pack . . .

  The Colorado Ramsey murder157 has me pissed. In some tabloid were photo’s of the Cops discovery area’s of blood stains. And a print. Plus possible semen. OK. . . . Cops! You’ve got all this info. Like O.J. How come / NO ARREST. You nabbed O.J. so quick, even before you could figure out if it was him or not. So why not the parents of this case.

  All seems to Fishy! Like lack of concern once again for a (FEMALE SPECIES) . . . It also makes O.J.s/ case look even more so now ... that they solely did arrest him purely cause of his fame and being black . . . Like I said. You’ve evidence galore on Ramsey. Yet.... no arrest. When we all pretty much know who killed her. The parents (or) one of em . . .

  Well lunch is on the way, so let me close this up here . . .

  Love

  Aileen,

  4-13-97

  Sunday

  Dear Dawn,

  . . . Well. Ive been sittin around thinkin about doin an interview . . .

  My lines of thinking are with Peter Jennings. Someone whose got major Prestiege and intelligence, having the truth come out level headed and sincere. I have / NO TALK SHOWS in mind. There to sleezy! And this gig is to critical! Its going to rock the world. So I want – class to work with . . .

 

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