by Ann Aguirre
“Good luck,” the Harbinger said.
I thought he truly meant it. True to his word, he let me pet him for about five minutes, and then he bounded off my bed in a crackle of dark energy. There was a fresh wickedness about him, and I wondered if I was crazy for not taking the deal. Considering how he’d treated Aaron—oh, shit. I have to apologize.
“I’m so sorry. I thought I was saving Aaron but, in the end, I got him killed.”
His tone was gentle. “I’m aware, Dwyer burned him up. Did you think I wouldn’t know what became of my favorite pet? I always love what I hurt most, at least a little. And that’s why you should fear me to your bones, pretty one. Because I rather adore you, and that ends badly for both of us.” He paused, gazing at me, until I shivered from the intensity of it. But he didn’t try to make me come to him with that awful compulsion. “Right now I wish I had a name to give you. I’d like to hear you say it, just once.”
“You have like forty names.”
“Exactly,” he said with a melancholy smile. “And none of them are mine.”
With that, he opened the window and vanished in a flutter of dark wings. Icy wind rushed over me before I shut the window after him. I had no idea how I’d explain this conversation to Kian, but maybe it was better if I didn’t. He might see this as a betrayal, but surely he’d understand that I couldn’t go around killing immortals because it would be easy or convenient. It took me forever to fall asleep that night.
Over the next few days, I tried to put the Harbinger out of my mind. My dad argued with me about going back for a follow-up, but after some resistance, I got him to the doctor, who pronounced him as recovering nicely. He frowned at my father, who was mumbling about work.
“That doesn’t mean you’re cleared to return to the lab, sir. After your ordeal, you need at least another week of quiet.”
Thank God. Since my dad was hearing this himself, he couldn’t quarrel with me later. He was cranky as we went home, but relief sparked through me to see that he was capable of being annoyed. At least he wasn’t moping like a zombie anymore. We both missed my mom more than words could express but we had to find a way to keep moving; she wouldn’t want us to give up.
Though it took a lot of persuading, I made my dad do stuff with me. I wouldn’t let him sit around the apartment. Over the next few weeks, we went to museums and movies, spending more time together than since I was really little. There was a bittersweet edge to these moments because I knew that Fell could come at me anytime. So I had to store up the memories while I had the chance.
Raoul came by once and tried to talk to me about the Black Watch, but I was having none of it. Weirdly, he didn’t mention resuming my lessons, maybe because between my spirit familiar and Aegis, I had enough skill to get by. Which wasn’t much, admittedly, but now I had power. Otherwise, it would’ve taken years before I had the training to face off with an immortal.
So use me, Cameron whispered. Don’t wait for Fell to come for you. Don’t you want to be known as the girl who hunted Death?
No. Definitely not. Right now, I could accept my status as a killer because Dwyer had established himself as the enemy. Until Fell took hostile action, I was in a holding pattern. Other people might be fine with unprovoked aggression. I wasn’t.
Before I knew it, it was the last week of February, my birthday was coming up, and I had no good reason to keep my dad home anymore. He’d called when I went out for groceries and learned that the lab was repaired, so basically, he was going back to work, no matter how I felt about it. Since I had no favors left to protect him with, the prospect terrified me. This morning, he finally realized I should be in school, another sign he was coming back to his former sharpness.
“Why are you still hanging around the house?” he demanded. “Your attendance record must be in shambles, you’ll be lucky if they don’t hold you back.”
“When you went missing, I got permission to finish up on my own.”
That actually seemed to impress him. His eyes went misty and he hugged me, kind of a big deal since he wasn’t physically affectionate in general. “Thank you for being so strong, Edith. I know I let you down, but I promise things will be different. We’ll be all right.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered, hugging him back.
“Do your homework first. And don’t sneak off to see your boyfriend while I’m gone.”
Nodding, I walked him to the door. After breakfast, I did finish my assignments and send them off, mostly because I didn’t really want to end up with a GED after so many years of being an academic overachiever. I had no doubt I could pass the test right now but some quiet part of me wanted to graduate from Blackbriar; it had become an endurance challenge at this point.
Around noon Kian called me. “Are you busy tomorrow?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well, we missed Valentine’s Day. So I wanted to do the planetarium show for your birthday, if you can go out.”
“Holy shit. That’s tomorrow?”
“You seriously forgot your own eighteenth birthday?”
“I’ve been pretty focused on my dad.”
“Makes sense you would be. Is he doing okay?”
“Yeah, he’s at work now. I still can’t believe we saved him fast enough to keep Dwyer from messing him up permanently. It’s like the one thing I’ve done right in the last year.”
“Huh.”
After I said that, I realized how it must sound to him. The hurt was muted in that single syllable, but … dammit. “Apart from being with you, of course.”
“Is this where I say ‘nice save’?”
“It’s my birthday tomorrow, be generous. What time are you picking me up?” If my dad was well enough to go to work, surely I could take the night off from guarding him and go out with Kian. I hadn’t been on a date in weeks. And while I’d been sticking so close to home mostly to offer physical protection if Fell came at us, I was starting to think Death was taking the slow, contemplative route toward conflict resolution.
“Six. We’ll have dinner and then do our stargazing.”
“Sounds amazing. And, Kian…”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for remembering my birthday, even when I didn’t.”
He laughed, obviously pleased. Good, glad he’s not holding the tactless crap from before against me. “It’s all part of the platinum-tier boyfriend service.”
“Awesome. See you tomorrow.”
That night, my dad kept his promise and came home early enough to cook dinner with me. We ate healthy for the first time in what seemed like forever: baked fish, brown rice, and steamed vegetables. I’d missed his obsession with providing us the best possible nutrition, sometimes at the expense of taste. Tonight I ate every bite with gusto.
“Is it okay if I go out with Kian tomorrow night?” I suspected Dad had forgotten my birthday, but I was so glad to have him back that I didn’t even mind.
“Sure. You can open your present from me first thing in the morning. But if you’re going out, do you mind if I work late? I have a lot to catch up on.”
Oh my God, he actually asked permission, like I’m a person whose opinion matters. “That’s totally cool by me. Just make sure you eat, okay?”
“I will, Edith.” Behind his glasses, his eyes smiled at me and I almost cried. It had been so long since I saw him acting normal.
For the first time in forever, I went to bed happy and woke up feeling the same way. But I’d learned to be wary of that emotion. Even now I feared this must be the calm before the storm, and I had so much to lose. While I’d gotten stronger, less like flotsam on the immortal tide, I couldn’t be everywhere at once. Vi should be all right, but there was still my dad and Ryu, Jen, Davina, and Raoul. Caring meant vulnerability.
God, don’t be such a downer on your birthday, dummy.
Making an effort to brighten up, I went to the kitchen, where my dad had breakfast waiting. “Happy birthday, Edith. This is quite an exciting day … you can vote now.”
I had to laugh. Only my dad would consider this a thrilling milestone. “I can’t wait to participate in the electoral process.”
Since he thought I was serious, he beamed. “That’s my girl.”
We ate smiley-face pancakes, just like the ones he’d made for me as a little kid, and unlike his stuffed artichokes and poached fish, they were delicious. I also got scrambled eggs, fresh-squeezed OJ, and crispy bacon. He must’ve gone out first thing because I knew the fridge didn’t have all of that in it last night.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I promised you a present.” He slid me a flat, brightly wrapped package across the table.
Opening it, I found a book about Nikola Tesla and two gift cards, one for a local bookstore and the other for a popular clothing store. “Wow, this is awesome. Thank you!”
When I got up, he hugged me. Two, in as many days. That’s incredible.
“Feel free to take the day off. If your teachers complain, tell them to talk to me.” He produced a stern look.
“That’s sweet, Dad, but since everyone I know is in class, I might as well keep up with my assignments. Have a good day.”
“You too. Enjoy yourself with Kian tonight. I won’t wait up.”
Once he left, I spent the day on homework, plus texting friends who somehow knew to send good wishes. My money was on Kian for quietly spreading the word. Around three, I hopped in the shower. It didn’t take long to get ready but I stared at my jeans and sweater with a wicked frown. Tonight Kian had something special planned, so I should wear a dress, right? But I didn’t have anything nice.
You have a gift card.
And if I hurried, I could buy something cute and get back here before six. Making the decision fast, I grabbed my bag and phone, then bolted from the apartment. I almost ran into Raoul, probably back to talk about my destiny again. I liked the guy but he was really single-minded. Mustering a smile, I waved as I tried to move past on the steps but he grabbed my arm.
“Just listen to me for a moment,” he begged.
God, that tone makes me uncomfortable.
“It’s my birthday,” I told him. “And I really need something new to wear before Kian comes over. I’m sure that sounds incredibly shallow but no matter what else is going on, I am only eighteen and I deserve a new freaking dress.”
He took a step back. “You do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Many happy returns, Edie. Would you like some company for your shopping expedition?”
“As long as you don’t try to persuade me of anything.”
“I’ll consider the matter tabled for today.”
So strange as it felt, I went off to the mall with Raoul in tow. He sat in the man chair outside the fitting room while I tried on dresses but, unlike most dudes, he actually had opinions. Soon I was glad he’d come along because together, we managed to pick out a really cute dress. It fit my chest and shoulders, then flowed loose, so it didn’t look like I was trying too hard to be sexy, and I loved the splashes of pink and purple on the white background.
We got back to the apartment with just under an hour to spare. Since I’d already showered, I just needed to do hair and makeup—and I was ready for Raoul to go, not that I meant to be rude. He seemed to get that, thankfully, because he dropped me off at the door, freeing me to get ready. Which wasn’t easy, knowing Kian had this amazing night planned. My hands actually shook as I tried to put on some lipstick.
You’re such a dork. This isn’t your first date.
But it was special. I was eighteen and my dad had very pointedly made sure I knew I didn’t have a curfew, his way of saying I trust you, and it made up for most of the shit he’d put me through in the past few months. I felt good about where we were together.
Just before six, a knock sounded at the door. I opened it.
“Holy shit,” Ryu said. “I don’t know how it’s possible but you’ve actually gotten hotter.”
DESTINED TO BE BROKEN
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Japan?” That probably wasn’t the politest way to greet a guy I hadn’t seen in seven months, but Kian would be here any minute, and I had no idea how to explain this to him.
Ryu looked good. The blond tips were long gone, but now he had blue, along with a brow piercing. He ignored my astonishment and strode past me into the apartment. At least that told me he wasn’t an immortal doppelgänger sent by Death, because supernatural creatures tended to wait for an invitation. I wondered if that was how the vampire stories got started. Then again, if enough people believed something, it became true.
“Vi set it up. She told me how rough it’s been on you, and I convinced my parents to let me take some time off. My dad wasn’t keen, but my mom talked him into it. She’s good at that.”
“Holy crap.”
While I was still processing, he came over and hugged me. He held me hard against him, very Western, so I was sure it came from his American, raised-in-California mom. For a few seconds, I remembered the SSP and breathed him in. He hadn’t changed his cologne, still a familiar blend of lemon, citron, and cedar. “She’s waiting for Seth at the airport. I came ahead because I was worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” I put my hands on his shoulders to get some space between us.
He grabbed my wrist before I could stop him and slid my bracelet aside. “I knew it. Dammit, Edie, I’ve been freaking out ever since you sent me that photo.”
Yanking my hand away, I stumbled back two steps. “I’ve got everything under control. Since you’re here for my birthday, we’ll definitely hang out but … don’t ask questions, okay?”
“That’s reassuring.”
Before I could respond, someone knocked. That must be Kian. Tense as a coiled spring, I pinned on a smile and opened the door. Sure enough, my current boyfriend was standing there with a huge bouquet of flowers: red roses mixed with pink lilies, purple liatris, and sweet William, absolutely gorgeous. God knew how he’d respond; I knew Kian was jealous that I’d gotten together with Ryu over the summer, but he never mentioned what happened. So I was prepared for the worst possible scenario when Kian came in. With trepidation I took the flowers and kissed him.
Stepping back, Kian floored me by smiling at Ryu. “Glad to see you made it.”
Wait, what?
“Did you know about this?” I demanded.
“Yeah. Those two days you went missing, I was here when Vi tried to Skype you. I answered, so she wouldn’t worry, though we were all scared to death. We traded contact info so I could update her. It seems like you’re not big on communicating with your friends.”
“And afterward, you planned an SSP reunion for me? As a birthday surprise.”
Kian smiled. “We fooled you, right?”
“I had no idea. Vi straight up lied to me, she said she hadn’t talked to Ryu in months.”
Ryu ran a sheepish hand through his hair, making it stick up even more. “Don’t be too hard on her. She wanted to make you happy.”
Since these two weren’t snarling at each other, I was incredibly touched. I’d known Kian had something special planned for my birthday, but I thought it would be something more romantic, just the two of us. This wasn’t worse. In fact, it was really sweet that he wanted me to be surrounded by my friends.
“I owe her big for this. I cannot believe you guys pulled this off. So what now?”
Kian set his hand in the small of my back. “We’re meeting for dinner at the Italian place. Remember the first place we ate in together?”
“Technically that would be the diner in California.”
With a sigh, Kian said, “Why must you nitpick? We weren’t dating then.”
“True,” I admitted. “Then let’s go.”
As he’d said, Seth and Vi were waiting for us at the restaurant. I grabbed her and hugged her so hard, but I whispered, “You are so sneaky. Do you know how scared I was when Ryu showed up out of the blue? I thought Kian would go ballistic.”
She put her
mouth to my ear. “He was so cool about you being friends with your ex. I mean, maybe a little sad, but not alpha jealous like some guys get. You’ve definitely got a keeper. He cares way more about your happiness than his own pride or whatever.”
Her words froze me. Oh God. This is … he’s giving me his blessing. He knows we only have two more months together. It was hard to breathe for the tears choking me. The reason Kian threw this party was to show me I wouldn’t be alone, even after he was gone.
The table wasn’t full yet, so it startled me when Jen showed up with a guy from the lacrosse team; I thought his name was Phillip. There was one seat still open and Davina claimed it five minutes later. It was so good to see them; until now I didn’t realize I missed them or Blackbriar. Once I thought that place was hell. But with everything I’d been through, I could view it differently now. We had even numbers, even though Davina and Ryu weren’t a couple. I noticed him scoping out Jen more than once, but she was occupied with her date and didn’t notice his subtle interest.
Since he was sitting on my other side, I nudged him. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
He shrugged. “I’m not doing anything, am I? But can I just say, you have some seriously gorgeous friends, Edie.”
As luck would have it, the conversation lulled just as he said it, so everyone at the table heard. Davina raised her glass in a mock toast while Jen smirked. Phillip didn’t seem sure if he should take offense, so he glanced at Jen for guidance. She shook her head slightly, and Seth wrapped an arm around Vi’s shoulders.
He pretended to scowl at Ryu. “Stay away from my girlfriend, perv.”
That set the tone for the night. The food was delicious and I shared with Kian like we had that first time. Though I loved every minute of it, I had never been more conscious of the fact that our time was winding down. He touched me constantly, not in overt possessive ways but a hand on mine under the table, his fingers firm and warm. Once we finished, Kian paid the bill and we continued to the planetarium. He hadn’t rented out the whole place, but he had tickets for everyone, and the show was wonderful.
Afterward, we went to Kian’s place. It was a little weird for Jen and Davina to mingle with my SSP friends, but they mixed well enough. Phillip wasn’t as much of an asshole as he’d seemed roaming around with Russ; he couldn’t be, or Jen wouldn’t be dating him. From what I’d seen, she was really picky about her boyfriends, though I couldn’t be sure if they were together or she was just trying him out for a night.
