by Ann Aguirre
When the bike stopped, Raoul was careful to keep us in contact. A little dizzy from the motorcycle, I stumbled forward but he stayed with me. Taking stock, I saw we’d come to an old monastery outside the city. Given the fact that we’d met for the first time in a church, this tracked with what I knew of his organization.
“Why are we here?” I asked.
“You haven’t wanted to hear what I had to say,” he said quietly. “And I understand why. You feel betrayed, as if I’ve only helped you because I was under orders.”
There was no point in denying it. “Pretty much.”
“Are things ever so simple, mija? The human heart is complex, as you well know.”
I sighed. “Fine, let’s hear your spiel.”
“Today I’ve brought you to meet my master.”
Wow, unexpected.
He went on, “The time is drawing near when you must choose.”
“Choose what?”
“Your path.”
“You make it sound like once I make a decision, there’s no way to change course.”
Raoul didn’t reply, and his silence troubled me. It wasn’t easy moving in tandem with my hand on his chest, but the alternative ended with Buzzkill dragging me to Wedderburn by my hair. For the moment, I was safe, though I couldn’t go back to my apartment … or Kian’s. That was the first place they’d look.
Shit. My dad.
Since I’d killed Dwyer, their private game was basically over. I figured Wedderburn still wanted the technology, but I couldn’t be sure how safe my dad was. If there was any chance of me completing the work alone, he might use my father as a bargaining chip to get me to surrender, both my free will and Aegis. At least he couldn’t strike at Kian.
Why do you hesitate? Cameron whispered. You’re strong now. Take the fight to them.
It would get me killed to overestimate my own abilities. While I’d bested Dwyer when I had the element of surprise on my side, other immortals wouldn’t be dumb enough to give me a fair fight. No, they’d send their muscle after me until I exhausted my energies on minions, leaving me nothing for a final confrontation. Wedderburn especially was infamous for never leaving his stronghold.
Whoever Raoul’s boss was, he wasn’t immortal, at least. He had been quite clear about the Black Watch being the only human organization that knew about the game. Which made their resources more limited than mine, frankly. But I went with Raoul quietly, one hand on the medallion, as we rounded the building. It was an old structure, covered in ivy and moss. I could tell it had been beautifully kept at one time, but now time had worked its wiles.
“This is your headquarters?” I whispered.
Raoul shook his head. “They blindfolded me when I left, so I cannot betray them. This is a meeting point, just as the church was for us.”
“Cagey. So you know essentially nothing about the Black Watch, other than the fact that they abused you for eighteen years.”
“It is no different from other trials our initiates have undergone to cement their bonds to the order and create strong warriors out of malleable clay.” An old man stepped out from behind the dead and spindly branches of a tree that grew in the once lovely garden.
I’d expected someone more impressive, a long beard or wispy mustache, a tonsure, even some orange robes, but this gentleman was depressingly ordinary. He had on a Russian hat with fur earflaps, a plaid overcoat, and tall winter boots. His face was lined but not in a way that made me think he had special power or wisdom. If I passed him on the street, I wouldn’t give him a second look.
And maybe that’s his superpower?
“Children aren’t clay,” I said.
“You disapprove of our methods.” He came toward us with a walking stick that reminded me a little of the Harbinger’s, only this one had a simple brass knob on top, not a dog’s head.
“It seems like you’re trying to play a long game, only you don’t have the right pieces.”
“Are you sure of that? I trust Raoul has told you he knows less than nothing.”
“Point taken.”
“Miss Kramer, I have been waiting a very long time to meet you. I am Tiberius Smith, the one whom you may blame for all of Raoul’s misfortunes. But whatever you may think of our training regime, he has served willingly since he graduated as an initiate. If you could see our archives, you would be horrified at the senseless suffering and carnage these immortals have wrought. Together, they have killed more of us than all our wars combined.”
That gave me pause. “Seriously? But there are so many people. It doesn’t seem like the human race is in danger of dying out.”
“It is a complicated problem,” he admitted. “But you see, as the population grows, and as our dreams flutter to life, the Internet feeds them. In ages past, there was a limit to how quickly stories could spread, how fast people could believe in them.”
“So basically the World Wide Web is acting on the immortals like a virus.” God, could anything be scarier? Buzzkill was a prime example of this, modern evil sworn to the service of an old and merciless god.
“A most apt analogy. I would love to tell you more of the role you’ll play in years to come, but I cannot take you into confidence unless you become our champion.”
“That sounds familiar,” I muttered. “That’s exactly what they said before I made the first deal. I hope you understand that I’m wary of people who won’t give me information up front.”
His warmth chilled when I didn’t immediately leap at the chance to sign. “This is for our protection. Secrecy is our mandate, Miss Kramer. It’s how we have survived through ages of being hunted. The immortals suspect—and correctly—that they have mortal enemies. Right now, there is a shadow on your loyalty. You think of small matters like your sweetheart and your father when the stakes are so much higher than you know.”
I took a step back, closer to Raoul. This geezer’s eyes bothered me. Not because they were black and diabolical, like the bag man and his awful children, but at first glance, they appeared perfectly pleasant, human, pale blue with normal irises and pupils. But the longer I looked, the more convinced I became that he had long ago lost any compassion or empathy. He cared only for his cause, and he no longer saw the value of individual human lives. Which meant I wasn’t a person to him, only a tool to be used.
Just like Dwyer. Just like Wedderburn.
And that made him every bit as bad as the monsters he fought.
“My boyfriend and my dad may be ‘small matters’ to you, but they’re pretty much my whole world. If you think I’ll abandon them for some great cause, then you’ve got me pegged all wrong. I never wanted to be the person who saves the day.”
“That is a great pity.”
Something in his expression worried me, so I decided it would be smarter to hedge my bets. This was the face of a man who would shoot me to keep the immortals from gaining any advantage, and I had no idea how effective Aegis would be against people. To make matters worse, Raoul would certainly kick my ass, and I had no idea whether I could actually hurt enemies that bled.
“Can I think about it? This is huge commitment. I’m sure you didn’t expect me to just run off and join you right this second.”
Smith nodded. “I would’ve questioned your sanity had you been so impulsive. When you realize how imperative it is to take action, you’ll need to say farewell and tie up the loose ends of your old life. For when you come to the Black Watch, you cannot go home again.”
At least he’s honest about that. It didn’t do much to sway me to his cause, but I preferred the truth to bullshit any day.
The old man turned to Raoul. “Return her to the city. She must rely on her own wits and abilities to keep safe from the winter king until she’s ready to swear her life to the cause.”
Not just the cold god. Death is also gunning for me.
To me, Smith added, “Keep safe, Miss Kramer. Your course of action here will create more ripples than you realize.”
“Does ev
eryone have a secret window that lets them glimpse the future?”
But Smith didn’t reply. He only turned and went down the path, disappearing between the dead winter trees. Soon it was only Raoul and me, my hand still on the pendant.
“I’m sorry, mija. This is meant to show you how much you need to join the Black Watch, both to fight for us and for your own survival.”
“There’s always another path. You just have to be smart enough to find it.”
THE BOY WHO LOVED TOO MUCH
Before we left, I sent a message to Kian telling him where to meet.
It would be the last time for a while, as I figured out how to handle all the heat now that I’d gone renegade from Wedderburn. Hopefully he’d stand in for me and explain things to my dad. I didn’t like the thought of leaving him alone so soon, but it was the safest option for everyone; I had to keep moving, stay away from the people I loved.
Until I figure out what to do.
By the time Raoul stopped the bike, my arm was aching from holding it in the same position. He shifted as I slid off the bike, taking off his helmet to regard me. “As soon as I leave, you’re fair game. You know this, yes?”
“I’m aware. I won’t stay long.”
Just long enough to say good-bye to Kian. After everything we’d gone through together, I owed him that much before I disappeared. Though it was bad to go on the run without a plan, I didn’t have time to sit around reflecting. Wedderburn and Fell were my Scylla and Charybdis and if I didn’t move fast enough, they’d crush me between them.
It was probably just nerves, but the air chilled as I pulled my hand away from Raoul’s medallion. Contrarily, my marks caught fire, a warning from Wedderburn. The pain nearly drove me to my knees, and I stared at my wrists incredulously because for anything to hurt this much, there must be physical damage. But, no, the sigils didn’t seem to be burning my flesh, just lighting up my nerves with the worst pain I’d ever felt.
I stumbled toward the fountain at the center of the park. My feet slipped on the icy sidewalk. All around the world was black and white while I felt as if I had a red target painted on my back. A fine dusting of snow covered the benches I sprinted past; there were few people out, just a handful of dedicated joggers. Tears trickled from my eyes, but nobody gave me a second glance. I could no longer move my hands; from the elbows down, I throbbed with white-hot fire.
The distance seemed insurmountable. Toppling over, I couldn’t even put out my hands to catch myself. My face took most of the damage, and I tasted copper, trickling down over my mouth to pool beneath my chin. As I lay there, I heard footsteps. The marks reminded me I’d signed a deal with Wedderburn. And now, they served as a choke chain to bring me to heel. In a few more minutes, the agony might actually kill me. My eyes couldn’t focus but someone picked me up, hauling me to my feet with gentle hands.
Probably not Buzzkill, I thought blearily.
Kian pulled me to him, but my knees would barely hold me. “What the hell happened? Who hurt you?”
Unable to speak, I showed him my arms. The skin was irritated now, like it had been on the trip to New Hampshire. Wedderburn’s way of proving he could hurt me remotely, not just phantom pain but actual injury.
For a few seconds, he seemed like he was struggling to find words. “You … this is worse than I expected. Why did Raoul keep you from seeing Wedderburn?”
“Your time is up,” a quiet voice said.
Though the tone was unfamiliar and somehow androgynous, it still sent a chill through me. Turning my head, I found a shadowy figure darkening the snow. It was impossible to make out features in the shifting haze about him or her, but more telling, a pigeon flew through that smoky veil and dropped stone dead at our feet. This had to be Fell. Death.
“Do you know, Edith Kramer, that a bounty has been placed on you? Wedderburn has rescinded all protections, deeming you too dangerous to exist.”
“That’s … extreme.” The cold in the air was nothing compared to the asphyxiation tightening my throat. It was nearly impossible to speak in Death’s presence. Add that to the pain and I couldn’t believe I’d ever faced down an immortal.
You can do it again, Cameron said. Get the compact. Call on me.
“You owe me a debt, human child. Due to your violence, I am robbed of a partner and companion. My flank has been weakened.”
“I wouldn’t think Death had time for games,” Kian said.
“Quite the contrary. What is life except for one long contest?” Fell took a step toward me.
I still couldn’t tell anything about its appearance but that hardly mattered. The air grew thick with the stench of corpses and rotten vegetation. At this proximity, I could feel it draining the life out of me. It wouldn’t take long before both Kian and I died, together, like Romeo and Juliet. And screw that, what a terrible ending.
“What should I do with you?” Fell mused.
I tried to activate Aegis but my hands were shaking too hard. There was no strength in my fingers anymore. My knees gave way, dropping me hard onto the sidewalk, and there wasn’t enough snow to break my fall. Kian tried to reach for me, but he was in no better shape. I couldn’t think of any stories where mankind fought death and emerged victorious. Somehow I slammed my wrist on the ground just right and triggered the sword, but I couldn’t lift it.
“You cannot win,” Fell said gently. “Even if you could wield that blade against me, the stories tell it thus: The one who defeats death must then take up his mantle and become the new shepherd to the dead. Dare you risk it?”
Hell no.
“There will be no battle here. Give me the god-slayer and I will let your partner go. There can be no mercy for one who has transgressed so against us.”
“I know how the story of Icarus ends,” I whispered.
But Govannon said Aegis wouldn’t permit anyone else to take it.
The pain at my wrists was ebbing. Probably, Wedderburn was scrying in his weird machine, watching me grovel before Death. The winter king had complete confidence that things would work out exactly as he’d ordered. Though I’d only given up once in my life, it occurred to me now, awfully, that no matter how hard you fought, sometimes there was no way to win.
I’m just one girl.
I was never going to get vengeance for my mother, or figure out how to save Kian from the deal he made with the Harbinger. That was the clarity Death brought. My will was finite, and I couldn’t protect everyone. The world might even be better off without me in it. What did I ever accomplish anyway? Slowly I closed my eyes and bowed my head.
Don’t listen, Cameron whispered. That’s how Death seduces you.
A tiny spark blazed to life inside me. No, I promised I will not go easy. I promised I wouldn’t quit. My eyes snapped open. At my side, Kian was pale as ice, his lips tinged blue, and not just from the weather.
“Wedderburn,” I shouted. “You’re breaking your promise. He’s supposed to be untouchable by any immortal in the game. That was my last favor.”
A wall of ice formed between us and Death, just a temporary respite. “Get out of here,” I snarled at Kian.
But he wore a stern, resolute expression, one I’d never seen before. Instead of listening to me, he gathered the last of his strength and ran at the ice wall, just as Death was passing through. His flesh withered and I saw the truth of it—Fell hadn’t been lying when he said one touch would be fatal. My heart died over and over as I crawled toward him, watching him struggle to breathe. It wasn’t like before, with the poison. This time I had no hope. Drawing his body up into my arms, I held him with all my strength. The tears froze halfway down my cheeks, the first sign that we had the winter king’s full attention.
Death hovered at my shoulder, close enough that I could see the beckoning darkness behind the sharp heat of my tears. “You idiot. Why?”
“Alive, I’m a liability. Dead, I’m your reason to fight.” Kian stared up at me, but he didn’t see me. There was a faraway light in his eyes.
“I love you.”
His body went limp in my arms while Death circled us. The pain from my wrists felt nothing like this. My heart roared in endless rage, and I didn’t much care if Fell tapped my shoulder while I rocked the boy I loved. Back and forth, his dark hair tumbled against my shoulder. Nothing I did could rouse him.
“That was … most impolitic,” Fell said.
“That depends on your point of view.” The Harbinger strode across the snow, leaving no tracks. His eyes were red as blood, and he wore a mantle of black feathers as if dressed for war.
“It was not my intent to harm that one.”
“What does that matter when you’ve robbed me of a much-anticipated feast? Kian Riley was mine, and you stole him. I also think you’ve violated her agreement with Wedderburn, and that has its penalties, does it not?”
The Harbinger knelt beside me and pried my fingers away from Kian. Whatever he saw seemed to amuse him. “Look, the silly little knight’s saved you at last.”
My eyes stung so bad it took some time to focus. The marks were gone, though I still had Aegis and the blue beads. I stared up at them both, bewildered. “What—”
Resting a hand on my head, the Harbinger said silkily, “Simply this: If the winter king could not keep his end of the bargain, then you are no longer bound to the agreement.”
In the mist above my head I watched an illusionary contract go up in smoke and then trickle away to ash. Death stayed silent, which I took for assent. The Harbinger wrapped one side of his feathered cloak around me. Dimly I noticed the snow soaking through my pants, but it didn’t matter if I was cold. More tears trickled down my cheeks, but they didn’t freeze, a subtle sign that Wedderburn had withdrawn.
“True,” Fell admitted eventually.
“Does this mean I’m no longer a catalyst?”
For me to survive and be free of the game, that was all Kian ever wanted. I wished I had understood how fiercely he felt about it or how far he’d go to achieve that aim. In this moment I wanted to die too, more than I had the day I stood on the bridge. It would be so easy, just pull away from the Harbinger and—
