The Green Beans, Volume 2: The Strange Genius of Lefty O'Houlihan

by Gabriel Gadget

  Chapter Nineteen

  Southpaw Snickerdoodles

  Later that evening, Jack and Lefty celebrated the victory with homemade cookies and hot chocolate. They were in the parlor, which was an enormous room on the first floor of the manor, designed for relaxation and socializing.

  There were several elaborate bookcases built into the walls of the parlor, on both sides of the fireplace. They were filled with many volumes and tomes, several of which had titles on the spines that were written in languages other than English. Jack had no doubt that there must be numerous rare books in the collection, and he hoped to investigate them in the near future.

  In addition to the vast array of books, the parlor featured many things that Jack found fascinating. There were several statues from various cultures, built from different types of stone, and sculpted in the likeness of mythological characters and creatures. There were also brightly colored, wooden masks from Africa, intricate oriental rugs, and various antiques of curious design.

  Lefty had once off-handedly remarked that the house was filled with souvenirs he had acquired in his globetrotting travels. Jack had not yet been able to inquire further about what adventures his uncle had embarked upon in the past, but he was looking forward to hearing about them.

  Lefty, however, had proven to be somewhat evasive… perhaps not intentionally so, but he was always so busy with his projects, and it seemed that his mind was perpetually preoccupied with the results of some recent experiment.

  At the moment, he seemed to have put thoughts of his scientific forays aside, and he was making the effort to spend more time with his nephew. He had come to the baseball game, and he had even baked some cookies for Jack, during a time of the evening when he would generally be conducting research and experiments in the basement. Maybe his uncle was an okay guy, after all, Jack thought… even if he did seem to have some mysterious monster stored in a vault beneath them.

  The two of them sat before the open fireplace of the parlor. An armload of split logs had been placed within, and they were burning nicely. The flames danced and crackled, lending a cozy ambience to the room, and casting just enough heat for a comfortable temperature. It was springtime, and the days were getting warm, but the evenings could still be quite chilly.

  The logs were from fir trees, which created a pleasant aroma as they burned, mixing with the faint scent of wood smoke and cookies. The flames – jumping about in shades of orange, and yellow, and black – were somewhat hypnotizing to Jack, as he stared into the fireplace. An occasional pop could be heard from the wood, as it burned atop its bed of hot coals.

  Nibbler lay sprawled on the floor, only a few feet before the fireplace, soaking up its heat. His limbs were askew, and his ears flopped in opposite directions. He had a bellyful of biscuits, and his eyelids had grown heavy. The Labradoodle dozed and enjoyed doggy dreams, his paws twitching as he chased imaginary tennis balls and thrown sticks.

  The parlor was furnished with oversized chairs and couches that had clearly been designed with comfort in mind. Jack sat within a giant armchair that featured black and purple stripes. Lefty sat nearby in a light gray wingback with green and blue polka dots.

  A coffee table with a chessboard carved into its surface was between the chairs, and the playing pieces (which were sculpted into the likeness of influential scientists, Jack had been told) were pushed off to one side. For the time being, the chessboard was partially covered with steaming mugs of hot chocolate, and a platter of freshly baked cookies, still warm from the oven.

  Lefty passed a mug to Jack, and took one for himself. The mug heated Jack’s hands as he accepted it, and then it warmed his chest as he took a sip, consuming some of the tiny marshmallows that floated atop the swirling surface. It was delicious, to be sure, but what Jack really had his eye on was the platter of cookies. Their aroma and plump appearance was nearly enough to trigger salivation!

  Lefty saw Jack’s locked-on cookie-gaze, and encouraged him to eat. “Get ‘em while they’re hot, m’boy!”

  Jack selected a cookie, bit off a chunk, and was transported to a land of culinary delight. “Gadzooks!” he exclaimed. “What kind of a cookie is this?”

  Lefty had taken a massive bite from a cookie of his own, and crumbs fell upon his chest as he leaned back in his armchair, happily munching away. In order to wash it down, he drained half his mug of hot chocolate in a single, impressive gulp.

  “Ah!” Lefty sighed with contentment. “This is a family recipe, known as the Southpaw-Snickerdoodle-Supreme, Version Two-Point-Five. We call ‘em Southpaw Snicker-doodles, for short.”

  “You made these?” asked Jack, clearly awed with his uncle’s baking skills.

  “Indeed, I did!” Lefty declared, shaking his cookie about and sending crumbs flying. “I learned how to make these from my sister, you see.”

  “You did?” asked Jack, spewing cookie crumbs upon his chin. He had been only two years old when his mother had vanished, and he had no memories of her. “She was a baker?”

  “Sure, among other things,” Lefty said. “You know, I’ve been meaning to spend more time with you, nephew, and answer whatever questions you might have. I’m sure you’re quite curious about a lot of things, and I’ve got to bring you up to speed, m’boy. It’s just that I’ve been so tied up with my current project! I’m in the middle of some really revolutionary work… stuff I’ve been working on for years and years! But just recently, I had a tremendous breakthrough, and I’m excited about the future.”

  “Um, yeah… no problem,” Jack said. He was thinking about the powerful, monstrous thing that lurked in the basement, and how it might relate to his uncle’s current research.

  “In any event, where was I…” Lefty tapped at his chin in thought, while munching at his second (or possibly third) cookie. “Ah, yes, my sister! Well, she was a darned good baker, and an inventor of some spectacular recipes, as you can see evidenced here, in the form of these Southpaw Snickerdoodles.”

  Lefty lost his train of thought, as his attention was once more diverted to the cookie in his hand, which he proceeded to gobble up. “Gears and sprockets! That’s a darned good cookie, isn’t it?”

  “It sure is! Now, what were you saying?” asked Jack, trying to steer his uncle back on track.

  “Oh, yes! Sorry about that, m’boy. Where was I…? Ah, I remember! Baking, and recipes, and whatnot… but baking was not her calling, just a hobby that she enjoyed. Her true passion was science, just like me! We always had a lot in common. But while I was drawn toward physics, chemistry, engineering, and mathematics, your mother’s specialty was zoology, which is the study of the behavior and physiology of animals. In fact, some of her legacy can still be found on the property. She accomplished a great deal in her field, and-”

  Beep! Beep! Beep!

  An alarm sounded sharply from somewhere in the depths of Lefty’s baggy lab coat, interrupting him mid-sentence. He wolfed down the rest of his cookie and returned his mug to the coffee table, in order to free his hands. That done, he fished about in his many pockets, until he found his computer tablet, which seemed to be the source of the alarm, as far as Jack could tell.

  At the sound of the alert, Nibbler was pulled from his slumber before the fire. He leaped to his feet and swiveled this way and that, ready for action. His head cocked to one side, and his ears twitched at the beeping sound of the alarm.

  “Ah-hah!” Lefty said, as he began poking and pinching at the screen of the tablet. “What’s all this?”

  Jack leaned forward in his chair, so he could better watch what his uncle was doing. He saw what looked like a map of some sort on the screen, a section of which was flashing red. “What’s that?”

  “Perimeter breach!” Lefty answered cheerily, with no apparent concern.

  Jack thought about this response for a moment. “Um… I’m not… entirely sure what that means, Uncle Lefty.”

  “The perimeter of the property has been compromised by an intruder, you see,” Lefty exp
lained.

  Jack was even more dumbfounded by this response. These types of events had certainly never occurred at his own house. For a few moments, he thought about what his uncle had told him, and then he suggested, “That sounds like something we should possibly be concerned about…”

  “Nah,” Lefty assured him. “It happens all the time. That’s why I invented my Ultra-Guard Burglar-Baffler 1000, the first and only security system of its kind. This baby’s got some real unusual features! I even created an app for it, so I could sync it up to my trusty tablet. That way, I’m always quick to know when shenanigans are afoot!”

  While Lefty continued to consult with his tablet, poking at it here and there, Jack took a moment to wonder why exactly his uncle would find it necessary to create a custom security system.

  “Um… it happens all the time? Who is it that’s doing the, um… the intruding?”

  Had he been given one thousand attempts, Jack didn’t think he would have been able to guess the forthcoming answer.

  Lefty briefly looked up from his tablet, and his eyes narrowed somewhat. “Usually, it’s Jasper.”

  “What? Jasper? Our school janitor?”

  “Yep. He’s an absolutely terrible spy, but he’s darned persistent. I’ll give him that.”

  “Spy?” asked Jack in bewilderment. It seemed too bizarre to contemplate. “Did you just say that Jasper’s a spy?”

  “A lousy spy,” Lefty confirmed. “He’s sort of a bungling buffoon, don’t you think?”

  “But… but…” Jack scratched at his head in exasperation. “Why would he by spying on you? What’s he after?”

  “Isn’t it clear, nephew?” Lefty raised his eyebrows, and looked up from the tablet. “He’s after my secrets, of course.”