The Green Beans, Volume 2: The Strange Genius of Lefty O'Houlihan
Page 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
The Robot Ambassador
“That’s why your father refuses to acknowledge my existence, Jack. He entrusted me to look after your mother while we were conducting our research, and when she was lost, I was the one that he blamed. Although… it clearly stands to reason… that if Ebenezer managed to escape from the Void...” Lefty trailed off, narrowing his eyes in thought.
“Then… my mother might be able to escape, too,” Jack said, completing his uncle’s thought.
“Yes…” Lefty said slowly, as he considered the possibility. “This is a matter that clearly requires investigation. Ah, but where was I? Oh, yes… Following these events, the unit was devastated. I was departing, and we had lost Ebenezer and my sister. After the revelation of the Black Hats and the loss of their leader, its members fled, before the government could apprehend them for treason. Within less than twenty-four hours, nearly half of the members of our unit were gone, including some of our greatest minds. As promising as the results of our research had thus far been, our mission was suddenly over.
“With the loss of our top contributors, the unit was disbanded, and the project was abandoned. My employers only had one hope left… that I would continue our research, on my own initiative, and without their oversight. They knew that my curious mind would never be able to resist pursuing my passion for science, and the goal that I had already invested so much of my life into. Furthermore, they knew that the profits I received from my earlier invention patents would provide me with ample resources to fund my research.
“It was clear to me that my former employers would keep a close eye on me, and that they might very well try to steal the secrets of my research. After all, they had invested heavily in our solar project. But I could not let fear of them prevent me from continuing what I had begun. The potential of unlocking solar energy was simply too important!
“At times, my employers had told me that I was an idealistic fool, to think that such powerful technology could be used for anything other than military applications. They said that they only tolerated me because I was possessed of a strange genius, as they called it. And perhaps they were correct… if it’s strange to seek a clean, affordable source of energy that is available to every human being on the planet, then so be it… I will embrace such so-called strangeness. My goal is to bring power to the people, you see!
“The solitary research was a grinding affair… without the assistance of my colleagues, as well as the, um… unique resources that were available to our unit, my progress slowed to a crawl. But my passion for science and the original goal of our mission were strong motivators, and they kept me going… as well as the memory of my sister, and that which we had worked toward together.
“Not long after I left the unit, Jasper relocated to Hollow Oak. This was no coincidence. He had obviously done so in order to keep tabs on me, and report my movements to his government paymasters. Jasper brought his family with him, and selected a rather mundane occupation, presumably to keep his true purpose concealed from others.
“But even though he had been sent to spy on my research, I wasn’t particularly concerned. I was confident that the safeguards I had installed would keep him at bay, and though he was a remarkable mechanical engineer, he proved to be a rather inept spy… or so I thought, anyway. And it seems that I also misjudged who he was ultimately spying for. Although he told us that his contacts and handlers remain in the government, it’s clear that his true loyalties lie with the Black Hats. He’s been playing the government for fools, just like he’s been playing me for one.
“As I was saying, the research was exciting, but slow and grinding. After four long years of building upon all our prior work, I was able to create solar cells powerful enough to do things like fuel those torches that you saw in my secret passageway, Jack. After eight years, I had finally reached the goal of our research… a solar power cell that could capture nearly all of the sunlight that it was exposed to, and convert it into electricity… clean, ample electricity.
“I call it SunTech… the force that will bring power to the people, and change the way human beings perceive energy! Noodles was to be the ambassador for SunTech. What better way to show off the marvels of this new resource, than with a break-dancing, spaghetti-limbed robot of friendly disposition? Far better, I reasoned, then one of the diabolical war machines that the government would have us waste the technology upon.
“Unfortunately, I ran into a problem when building Noodles. Though I was able to use my background in the sciences to build Noodles’ physical body, and SunTech provided his power, artificial intelligence was a field that I had never spent much time within. It was a great stroke of luck that I was able to borrow the foundation for Noodles’ artificial intelligence from a friend of mine, Dr. Kurzweil.
“I finally implemented the power cell in a manner whereby the electricity could be safely contained, but I was just beginning the long process of tailoring his artificial intelligence. During my research last night, I quickly came to see that Noodles was learning at an accelerated rate, and developing a wonderful personality… and that he was more than an it.
“Nonetheless, a lot of work remained before he would be field-ready. That’s why I had Noodles in the vault, you see… For safekeeping, and to ensure that he didn’t harm himself or the equipment of the laboratory, until I had worked out all the bugs. However, it seems that I underestimated the program that Dr. Kurzweil loaned me, and Noodles is learning at a rate far quicker than I could have ever hoped for!”
“Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Neil asked. “Seems like we’ll need all the help we can get, if we’re going to take down these Black Hat characters.”
“Right you are!” Lefty agreed.
“Beep boop beep!” Noodles chimed in enthusiastically.
“The Black Hats are villainous louts! Scoundrels! Rapscallions of the lowest order! They can’t be allowed to hold possession of SunTech. They must be stopped!” Lefty exclaimed, pounding the steering wheel for emphasis.
“We agree with all of that!” Neil assured him. “Jasper is the biggest meanie we’ve ever met, and anybody who wants to hang out with him by choice is clearly of unsound character.”
“We do not want Jasper and his cronies to get away with this,” Maria assured Lefty.
The van suddenly slowed, and Lefty peered at the tablet. He eased off of the gas and focused on the road ahead, his eyes narrowing behind his glasses. “We’re almost there. I can now see where we’re headed. I can tell where the GPS signal is coming from.”
“Where is it, sir?” Sara asked.
“I should have known from the start,” Lefty said. “It’s Cragglemeister Farm.”