Darkness

by Laurann Dohner

  She glared at him then. “I’m done just being screwed by you.”

  His nostrils flared and he advanced a step. “You wanted to share quarters with me.”

  “That was before I knew the only interaction we’d have was you waking me up by snapping handcuffs on my wrists and fucking me. You don’t even talk during. I’d rather just skip it.”

  “You enjoy it.”

  “I also enjoy talking, spending time with someone and not being avoided. You don’t give a damn about my needs. You seem to be punishing me, Darkness. I’ve had enough. You get the bedroom and I’ll take the couch. Make sure you set up that appointment for me to get a blood test the day after tomorrow. I’m out of here the moment we’re in the clear.”

  “I’m not punishing you.”

  Some of her anger faded. “That’s how it feels. I didn’t come here to be driven out of my head. I haven’t left your apartment since you brought me here. The only outside time I’ve seen is standing on your balcony. I’m not big on television but it’s the only entertainment I have. I’m going stir-crazy. I thought we’d be able to get to know each other better.”

  “I know every inch of you.” His expression was ruthless when he jerked his focus up to stare into her eyes. “I’ve learned everything you like.”

  “I want more than just sex. I’m pretty sure I made that clear.”

  “I told you I don’t have anything else to give.”

  It hurt. She didn’t want to fight with him anymore. He was stubborn and determined to keep her at arm’s length. “You win. I give up. I thought there was something more between us but I see you’re never going to allow that to happen. You can sleep alone from now on. That should thrill you.” She spun, entered the kitchen.

  He lingered for a few moments but then the door opened and closed after him. She fixed a sandwich and took a seat on the couch again. The dull ache in her chest was disappointment and sadness. She’d given it a shot at least, knew she couldn’t regret making the effort. Darkness wouldn’t meet her halfway.

  Her appetite fled and she cursed. She dumped her food in the trash, walked to the door, opened it and leaned out. A New Species sat in a chair about ten feet away holding an electronic device. He peered at her curiously.

  “Do you need something?”

  “I’m not allowed to leave the building, right?”

  He stiffened in his chair. “Correct.”

  “Does this building have roof access?”

  He hesitated. “Yes. Why?”

  “I need to stretch my legs. That balcony isn’t big enough to do that. I’d like to see some sunshine and breathe fresh air. Can you take me up there? That technically wouldn’t be breaking the rules, right? Don’t make me beg. It wouldn’t be pretty.”

  He hesitated a moment then closed the device and laid it against the wall. He stood. “Just promise you won’t try anything.”

  “I don’t have wings to fly and I sure as hell wouldn’t jump because of Darkness.”

  The guy grinned. “I’m Field.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” She stepped out and closed the door. “Call me Kat. It’s short for Katrina.”

  He indicated the direction and fished out his identification badge from his front pocket, swiped the lock and opened a door. The stairwell led up. He went first and she followed. He had to swipe the card again at the top and push a flat ceiling panel up.

  “We don’t use it often. Just stay away from the edges. It’s a long fall down and the sides are sloped. They didn’t install safety walls to enclose the space.”

  Kat sucked in a deep breath as she stepped out into the sunshine. It was a warm day, just as Darkness had said. The view from the roof showed her more of Homeland. She could even spot the tall walls that enclosed it from the outside world. The park showed to the left, in the distance.

  “Thank you.” She flashed him a smile.

  “I understand feeling closed in and needing an open space. I could contact Darkness to see if he’ll allow me to take you somewhere else.”

  “Don’t bother. This is great.” She walked a few feet away from the door and stretched, turning her face into the sun, eyes closed. She just stood there. A light breeze stirred. It felt great to be out of the apartment.

  “Have you left his home at all?”

  “Nope. He’s gone all the time.” She turned to look at him. “Is he friendly to everyone?”

  The guy’s expression showed his surprise. “Um…”

  “That was a poor joke.”

  He smiled. “Darkness is Darkness.”

  “That’s a polite way to put it.” She turned to enjoy the view.

  “He’s a good male. Just…not very outgoing.”

  She nodded.

  “He’s respected by all.”

  “I’m sure he is.”

  “May I ask you something?”

  She faced him. “Sure.”

  “Are you going to teach more classes? I enjoyed the one I was able to attend.”

  She didn’t remember him. There had been a lot of faces though. “I don’t think so. I’m going home in a few days and doubt I’ll be back.”

  “That’s a shame. I don’t work in Security but everyone who does liked your classes.”

  “What do you usually do or are you not allowed to say?”

  “I’m a nurse.” He grinned. “Darkness asked me to be one of your guards. I’m well acquainted with human females. He knew I wouldn’t be a threat to you in any way.”

  “A threat?” That piqued her interest.

  He blushed. “Some of our males wouldn’t understand what you living inside his quarters means. Darkness didn’t want any males to make the mistake of believing you were available for them to approach since you’re not his mate. He has earned a reputation of not being the type to grow attached to others. Our males are used to our females sharing sex with other males. Our females don’t have monogamous relationships. Some males would be confused about your status.”

  She let that information settle. “I’m not anything to him but an annoyance.”

  Field shifted his stance. “He threatened to rip off any body parts we touched you with. He cares about you. He also handpicked every male assigned to stay outside the door. Medical is short-staffed today because I’m here instead.”

  That surprised her. “Why would he do that?”

  The guy swallowed and glanced away, looking uncomfortable. “You live with him. May I speak freely?”

  “Sure.”

  “You’re the first female Darkness has shared sex with since we were liberated. He avoided them to the point that others believed he might be interested in males.” His cheeks flushed. “Please don’t tell him I said that. He has a temper. I’m not a good fighter. It’s why I chose nursing as a profession. He’d pull me into the training room to get even.”

  It confirmed what Darkness had told her. “I won’t repeat anything you say. I swear.”

  Field stepped closer and lowered his voice. “I was also ordered to tell you that there is no guest housing available if you asked.” He licked his lips and glanced back at the open door, then gave her an intense stare. “That is a lie.”

  Her mind reeled a little.

  “He wants you to stay with him. I assume from those orders he gave me when he left that you might ask to be moved. He doesn’t talk much but it’s clear that you matter. He’s a good male. He’s just difficult to relate to. He keeps everything inside.”

  She approached him and kept her voice low. “He asked you to lie to me?”

  He nodded. “He is known for his honesty. I was surprised by the order. My take on it is that he’s desperate to keep you inside his home. He might not feel comfortable admitting that to you or even know how.”

  “He’s never there. Don’t you think he’d spend more time with me if that were the case?”

  “He’s Darkness. I’m telling you this because I’d hate for him to lose the one thing he’s shown interest in. I would tell a female s
he was important to me, but him?” Field sighed. “He’d assign you officers he knew would be too afraid to touch his female and ask them to lie so she believes there are no other options but staying in his bed. Do you understand? He’s proud and stubborn. He might be afraid of rejection. I know you care about him. I am friends with Book. You demanded to live with Darkness. He overheard your conversation in your home when they went to bring you to Homeland. Species hearing is excellent. Don’t give up on Darkness. I believe he’s worth the frustration and anger he must make you feel.”

  “He keeps pushing me away.”

  “Push back. He won’t harm you. I’d bet my life on it. He needs a very strong female to handle him. I know what your job in the out world is. A weak female wouldn’t have chosen to work for the FBI. I do have human female friends who also chose male-dominated careers. You’re used to facing adversity. The male is worth it. You obviously couldn’t find a male worthy of you until now. Darkness would be.”

  She studied his pretty eyes. “Thank you for telling me all that. I won’t rat you out. I appreciate it.”

  “We all should come with instruction manuals.” He grinned. “It would be so much easier to relate to each other, wouldn’t it? I have an advantage since I spend a good amount of time with human medical staff. Darkness isn’t typical and he’s lost a lot more than most. It makes him extra stubborn about allowing anyone to get too close.”

  “I know that too well.”

  “His heart is larger than he’d like anyone to know. I’ve seen such thoughtfulness in some of his actions. You just have to push past his resistance.”

  “I needed that pep talk. I was about to throw in the towel. Let’s go back to his apartment. I have to think up a new game plan.”

  “You might want to reword that in the future. Species would believe you mean that in a literal sense, that you’re playing with his heart, but I understand.” He grinned. “Keep your eye on the ball and knock that sucker right out of the park. He cares about you.”

  Kat laughed.

  * * * * *

  “All is well?” Darkness studied Field. The male stood, nodded and tucked his ebook reader under his arm. “Thank you.”

  He strode to his door but paused before entering. He liked coming home to her in his bed but Kat would be sleeping on the couch. It was his own fault. He couldn’t blame her for being resentful of his treatment. She was stuck in the small space and that would irritate anyone. He waited for Field to pass him in the hallway before he opened the door.

  His vision adjusted to the dim room. She hadn’t left on any lights for him, another sign she still resented him. He closed the door and crept across the room to stare down at the couch. Kat wasn’t sleeping there. He frowned and approached the bedroom. The door stood open and no light showed. He hesitated at the entry.

  She lay on his side of the bed, almost falling off the edge. He leaned against the doorframe, accepting that it was relief he felt. She was there, in his bed. He backed up, removed his vest and tossed it on the couch before removing his boots. His feet hurt from pulling so many extra shifts. It had kept him busy though, away from Kat. He stripped out of all his clothing and returned to the bedroom to stand at the end of the bed, his gaze locked on her form. She slept on her stomach, her bare arm and back revealed where the covers didn’t reach. She hadn’t put on one of his shirts as a barrier against his touch. Her hair was thrown above her head, spread out across his pillow. One of her hands curved into a loose fist inches from her face. Each slow, steady breath was proof that she slept peacefully.

  He wondered if she’d drifted across the bed in her sleep or purposely taken his space to cause irritation. He grinned, guessing the second. Kat liked to push him when she was angry. Sometimes her rebellion was loud and obvious but she had a talent for small displays of defiance.

  He inched closer until his thighs pressed against the bottom of the bed. He wanted to crawl toward her and flip her over. He needed to get his handcuffs. That’s what he’d done to her every other night.

  He snapped them on her wrists and hooked them through one of the slats of the headboard. He hesitated, despite his dick stirring. He wanted Kat. The condoms were in the drawer next to the bed. He’d brought more in case he went through the box.

  She straightened and her legs slid a few inches apart as she settled more firmly on her stomach. There was no change in her breathing. She slept on. He rounded the bed, crouched next to her and captured a lock of her hair on his fingertip. He leaned in and inhaled.

  He’d ordered personal grooming products of her choice. The peach scent would forever remind him of her. The fruit fit her personality. Soft, sweet, delicate, with a hard core at the center. Mouthwatering to taste. He closed his eyes and admitted to himself that she’d changed him. Become a part of him. A tinge of resentment washed through him but when he opened his eyes again and stared at her peaceful features, the emotion changed to longing. He’d miss her when she was gone.

  “Shit.”

  She stirred and opened her eyes. He held still but released her hair. She frowned a little, blinking, but then he must have come into focus. “Hi.”

  “You’re on my side of the bed.”

  “I know.” She lifted her head and looked at the clock on the nightstand. “You’re later than usual. It’s after one.”

  “I needed to do some thinking.”

  She sat up, clutching the covers to her breasts. One hand reached out, searching for the lamp. He caught her it, held it. She had no choice but to sit still.

  “Don’t. I like it this way.”

  “I’m not surprised with that name. Darkness—I get it.”

  He smiled. “That wasn’t why I chose it.”

  “It should have been.”

  She didn’t attempt to tug her hand free. He liked touching her. “I am sorry for earlier.”

  She sighed. “Is it easier to admit you’re wrong when I can’t make out your features?”

  “Yes.”

  She scooted over. “At least come closer.”

  He rose and sat on the edge of the mattress. “I haven’t been fair to you.”

  “I know.” She surprised him when she leaned his way and rested her forehead against his chest, her other hand curling around his forearm. She stayed there, close. “It’s not easy for you to share anything with anyone.”

  “I don’t mean to hurt or anger you.”

  She turned her head and rubbed her cheek over his skin. “You mean to piss me off. I’m guilty of doing the same to you. It gets a reaction and that’s better than the silence. We need to work on our communication skills. We have only two volumes—high or mute.”

  He let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her waist. He liked her in his arms. He rested his chin on top of her head. It seemed to fit there. “I can’t change.”

  “I’m not asking you to. I just want in.”

  “No.”

  She tensed in his hold. “No discussion about it, huh? No give and take?”

  “I warned you from the start, Kat. You’re a temptation I couldn’t resist but I’ll never be the type of male you need. I can give you sex. That’s it. I want to be honest. I spoke to Justice today and we can find you a job with the NSO. Our people like you and enjoyed your classes. He’ll take you on as a full-time instructor.”

  “Teaching them about security? You have a task force for that.”

  “To teach them about humans overall. We owe you a debt for how you handled those humans in the van. You were correct. They could have inflicted a lot of damage before we took them out. We weren’t prepared for that kind of assault. We are now.”

  “I, um…” She paused. “I have to think about it.”

  “You could live at Homeland or drive to your own home at night. It would be your choice. It’s always dangerous working for Homeland. You’d have to be very aware of your surroundings to make certain no one followed you to your house. It’s less dangerous at Reservation. There’s a much smaller population o
f humans. The nearby residents like us there but I realize it probably wouldn’t be your preference to move so far away.” He ran his hand up and down her spine. “I’d prefer you live at Homeland. We could still see each other.”

  “Are you asking me to keep living with you?”

  “No. You’d be assigned your own home. I could visit you after my shifts sometimes.”

  “I see.” She relaxed. “You’d be able to fuck me and then leave whenever you were in the mood.” Her wounded tone indicated that wasn’t an option.

  “I can’t offer you more.”

  She pushed him and he dropped his arm. She rolled away and scooted to the other side of the bed. “I’m tired.”

  “Is that not enough for you?”

  “You know the answer already. You’re a bright guy. Good night.”

  She pulled up the covers, hiding her body from his view. The way she drew her knees up and kept her back to him left no doubt that she didn’t want to be touched. He was disappointed but not surprised. Kat wanted a male who could give her all the things she needed. That would never be him.

  He stretched out on the opposite side of the bed, flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling as he’d done thousands of times before. The sound of her ragged breathing hurt him. She didn’t cry but her distress was clear. He’d let her down.

  “I’m sorry.” They were tough words to say.

  She sniffed. “Don’t be. I was the one who wanted to change things.”

  He wanted to reach out and touch her. He didn’t. “You deserve better.”

  “I agree.”

  He shifted his focus back to the ceiling. Her breathing eventually slowed and he knew she slept. He couldn’t find that peace from his turbulent thoughts. It took awhile but he finally nodded off…

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  Kat straddled his lap, grinning down at him. She was naked, her breasts bare. He reached up and palmed them. She arched her back, pressing against his touch more firmly. They were both bare. His dick was hard when Kat wrapped her fingers around the shaft. She lifted, adjusted the position of his dick and sank down on him.

  He groaned at the feel of her hot, wet pussy. Tight. He stared at her face. She was stunning. Her cheeks were flushed with passion, her beautiful eyes half closed. She held his gaze and moved on him, taking more of his dick, lifting up, slamming down. The pleasure tore through him until he couldn’t remain still any longer. He trailed his hands down over her ribs, curved them around her hips and held her there while he thrust upward, fucking her harder and deeper. Moans tore from her parted lips, driving him on.