A Safe Place to Land

by Dee Ernst

  “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “I keep forgetting there are people around now.” I had to tilt my head up, just a little.

  “It’s so beautiful here,” he said softly. “Calm. And quiet.”

  It was so quiet I could hear our breathing, but as for calm…my heart was racing so fast I thought it would pound right out of my chest. I felt the heat radiating off of his body and knew I should take at least one, or possibly six steps back.

  “Listen,” I whispered. “Owl.”

  The soft hoot was back in the woods, away from the water.

  Why didn’t the friggin’ man move back? Had he never heard the phrase personal space? Cause he was all up in mine.

  “What’s that?” he said. It was a chirrup, shrill and angry.

  “Raccoon. Frustrated raccoon. Trying to get into the trash.” At that, I stepped back. I had to, or I would have probably done something totally stupid, like run my hands up into his hair, down his chest, around to his butt…

  Oh crap. This was Sam’s son.

  Finn came racing up, and I could see by the faint moonlight he had another tree frog in his mouth. I cleared my throat. “You came out here for something?”

  “Yes.” His voice was hoarse. “Yes. Amanda said you were going to help her with her room? Ferns? What was the name of the place you told her to go?”

  “Del’s. Just up the highway.”

  “Good. That’s what I needed.”

  “Glad I could help.”

  “Thanks. Goodnight.”

  I stayed out there alone for so long that Chloe actually whined at me.

  What the hell was that, anyway?

  I texted Terri on my first break the next morning.

  Having unclean thoughts about my stepson

  And ur surprised?

  Sometimes, the woman was no help at all.

  Later, I got a text from Craig.

  Would you like us to save u dinner? Spaghetti&meatballs

  God, was he going to start being really nice now? Luckily, it was Buck A Beer night, a perfect excuse to come home late and go straight to bed.

  Plans but thanx

  My supervisor snagged me in the break room. “How’s that son thing working out?”

  I sighed. “He’s got three daughters, we’re all managing fine, but it’s only been six days.”

  “Is he planning to stay there?”

  I shook my head. “No. He needs to find a job, he wants to sell the bar…it’s very temporary.”

  She patted my arm. “I’m sure you’ll make the best of it, Jenna. You’re the one person I know who can always look at any situation, figure out the right thing to do, and then do it, no matter how hard it is.”

  I smiled in thanks, but felt my stomach roiling. This particular situation had me wanting to do things that were anything but right. I had absolutely no idea why I was having all those very intense feelings about Craig. I put it down to the fact that he was a very attractive man who looked like the man I’d had great sex with for a long time, and I hadn’t seen any action in two years, eight months and thirteen days. I put it all down to pure lust.

  But with that lust came a twinge of discomfort. Sam’s son. As in, the son of the man I’d been married to. What was that? I wasn’t big on the Bible, but I had a feeling there was something in there about this sort of thing, and it probably wasn’t a good thing.

  I swear that everyone at DeeDee and Jack’s was waiting for me, even the group of old regulars that sat in the opposite corner and barely nodded. The noise level dropped considerably as I walked in.

  I put my hands on my hips and growled. “What? Is my hair green? Is there a giant zit on my nose? What?”

  “Hell, Jenna,” somebody called. “Don’t get mad. You know what a big deal this is.”

  Laughter erupted, and I slouched over to my regular table.

  Terri raised her eyebrows. “And?”

  “Stop,” I muttered.

  Karen, halfway through a crab cake sandwich, stopped mid-swallow. “What’s going on?”

  Terri looked skyward. “Guess who’s got the hots?”

  “We are not,” I said distinctly, “having the hots.”

  “Well if you are,” Karen said. “go for it.”

  Terri leaned in. “If you are, isn’t it all a bit…icky? I mean, he’s Sam’s son. That makes you his…stepmother?”

  Stella, who had been sitting quietly at the end of the table, tapped her fork against her glass. “Terri, you make it sound as though she raised him. There’s no relationship there.”

  I sighed. “But it crossed my mind.”

  DeeDee brought my beer. “Menu?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “Nope. Clam strips and fries. Extra tartar.”

  “He looks just like Sam?” she asked, making no move to put in my order, which, I had to say, was annoying.

  I nodded and sipped the foam off the top on my beer. “Yes. But the total opposite, personality wise. Although he does have a sense of humor, buried very deep.”

  She folded her arms under her bosom. “Heard the girls were cute.”

  “They are. DeeDee? I’m kinda starving here.”

  “Glory tried to poach Miranda.”

  Miranda was one of DeeDee’s best waitresses. “Summer’s coming. You know how it gets.”

  “Yeah? Well, tell her to keep her claws off my staff.”

  “I will. I promise. As soon as I eat.”

  “Charlie was here. He’s not happy with working so many nights.”

  “Maybe he can work here? And serve me my dinner?”

  She turned abruptly and left.

  Karen kicked me under the table. “Jenna, are you kidding? He hasn’t even been here a week, and already?”

  I put my elbows on the table and rested my forehead against my palms. “I just had a very strong physical reaction. Perfectly natural. He’s a good looking guy and I haven’t had sex in… a while.” I dropped my hands and glared at Terri. “ But you’re right. He’s Sam’s son, and totally off-limits. So you can stop now.”

  She spread her hands wide. “Stop what?”

  “I know you. You’re already picking out bridesmaids dresses. You do that every time I look twice at a man. You are the most marriage-minded woman I’ve ever met.”

  Karen nodded in agreement. “She’s right, Terri. You want everyone you meet to live happily ever after.”

  “And right now,” I said, “I’d be much happier if I could have my house back. The sooner the better.”

  Stella cleared her throat. We all turned and looked at her. “Tyrell says Amanda has been cutting, Jenna.”

  I put down my beer very slowly.

  “Not lately, he doesn’t think,” she went on. “But he saw her scars.”

  “But she’s so sweet,” Terri whispered.

  Stella shrugged. “Sweet has nothing to do with it, Terri. Even sweet kids feel angry.”

  “I’m sure Craig knows,” I said. “He seems very aware of her and what she’s feeling, but thanks for telling me. What else did Tyrell say?”

  Stella sighed. “That she’s very shy and seems afraid of everyone.”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  Stella pointed her finger at me. “You need to find something that she’s passionate about, Jenna. Find out what she loves—music or art or animals—anything to connect with her.”

  “Listen, Stella, I get that she needs guidance, but she’s going to be moving away. Craig has said that he is not staying here. I don’t know if I want to invest too much.”

  Stella slammed the palm of her hand on the table, making the cutlery jump. “She is Sam’s grandbaby, Jenna.”

  I glared. “I know that.”

  “And her mamma died, and she had to leave her home, and she’s at risk. Craig is not going to be finding a job tomorrow. He could be here for months. Are you going to help her or not?”

  Months? Please, no. Not months. But Amanda, she of sad eyes and drawn in mouth…

&n
bsp; “Yes. Of course.”

  Stella looked happy and a bit smug. “Good girl. Just don’t go screwing things up by sleeping with her daddy.”

  I covered my face with both hands. “Why do I know you people? I should sleep with him. I can’t sleep with him. I need to fix his daughter…you all drive me crazy.”

  Karen kicked me again and I dropped my hands.

  She was grinning. “You love us.”

  “I hate you all.”

  “No, you don’t,” Stella said. “You love us and would curl up and die without us.”

  She was right. As usual.

  That night I managed to sneak into the house without seeing Craig at all and spent the entire next day at work trying to figure out how I could spend the rest of my life without ever being alone in the same room with him again. When I wasn’t thinking about that, I was imagining him naked.

  I was a little conflicted about my feelings for him.

  When I thought about it rationally, I knew that my attraction to him was based largely on the fact that he was just as handsome as his father had been. I recognized that it was a pretty creepy reason to want to have sex with someone, but, there it was. But even if I’d never met a man named Sam Ferris, Craig would have still ticked off all my boxes. I’d gone to bed with men who were less appealing, and whom I’d known for a lot less time. In fact, there was a time in my life when the one night stand was my go-to form of recreation. When I hit thirty, I recognized the behavior as rather self-destructive and I’d become more selective. And the last person I’d slept with had been Sam.

  I checked with HR on my break. I had three weeks vacation due. Maybe I could just leave town for a while, go someplace tropic and forget all about Craig and his broad shoulders and big, brown eyes, his moppet twins, and the sad-eyed Amanda. I could drink fruity things with umbrellas in them, and dance to calypso music with sexy younger men. Or older men. I wasn’t that picky. Maybe I could scratch this itch with some guy I’d never see again, so that when I got back, Craig would stop being a temptation. Better yet, when I got back he’d have found a job in Norfolk and moved into a nice, big house across the Bay.

  Or maybe when I got back he’d race out the front door to meet me, tell me how much he’d missed me, and we’d have the best sex ever right there on the front porch.

  I got a text. Stuffed pork chops tonight. Can we save u a plate?

  The man was relentless. What, no tofurkey with quinoa and kale? He had to make stuffed pork chops?

  Yes,thanx. C u later

  I texted Terri. Can u go on vacation with me to an island somewhere?

  As soon as I’m done renovating the Farnham place and have secured the love and devotion of Steve McCann.

  So, I’d go alone.

  When I got home, Maddie and Larissa were at the dining table, workbooks open. Bit was on the chair next to Maddie. Finn and Chloe were under the table. Finn lifted his head and wagged his tail. Chloe woofed gently. Bit ignored me completely, obviously forgetting that I’d rescued her from a fate worse than death—the Northampton County Animal Shelter—and brought her to the doggy equivalent of a Sandals Resort.

  “Where’s your dad?” I asked.

  Maddie looked up. “With Amanda. She had a bad day.”

  “Someone made her cry.”

  “No, she hit someone and made them cry.”

  “No, she got hit.”

  I dropped my purse on the table and practically ran down the hallway.

  Amanda’s door was open, and Craig was lying on the bed, Amanda curled up beside him. They were talking, very quietly, and it was obvious she’d been crying.

  I stopped in the doorway and watched as Craig gently pushed the hair from her face, whispering, and she nodded her head against his chest.

  “Hey. You guys need anything?”

  He looked up and shook his head briefly. “No thanks Jenna. I think we’re good now.”

  Amanda pushed herself up and off of Craig, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Look. We bought these last night. I wanted you to come with us, but Daddy said you were busy. Are these good?”

  She pointed to three pretty blue glazed pots in the corner.

  I entered her room and walked to where the pots lay, carefully stacked. I crouched down and looked at them closely. I needed a minute to myself, to arrange my face and my thoughts as my heart suddenly burst with pain for this sad, lost girl, crying into her father’s shoulder. Why should I care, anyway? But I did. Very much. I swallowed hard and felt myself settle. “These are perfect,” I told her, standing. “I’m not working tomorrow, so we can put a few plants in these for you. Do you want to hang them from the ceiling? Or put them on your dresser?”

  “How can I hang them up?”

  “Easy. I have some rope we can use, we make a few knots, put a hook in the ceiling, and bingo, instant retro sixties chic.”

  Amanda narrowed her eyes, obviously not getting the reference, but willing to go along. “Okay.”

  I put my hand on her head. “Good. Now, I’m going to eat a delicious stuffed pork chop. Did you help your dad?”

  She shook her head. “No. I wasn’t feeling too good when I came home today.”

  “Oh. Well, I bet they’re pretty good, even without your help.”

  She nodded. “Daddy’s a good cook.”

  I looked over her head at Craig. He looked exhausted, his face pale and sad. “Yes, he is.” I left.

  I reheated my dinner in the microwave, Maddie and Larissa telling me about their day.

  “Holden is a doo-doo head.”

  “Lunch was good today. Grilled cheese and tomato soup.”

  “This workbook is too hard to erase in.”

  “When we got home today, Finn was eating a frog.”

  “It was so disgusting.”

  “Can we fish off the dock?”

  I took a forkful of pork chop. It was delicious. Why was I not surprised? “I have fishing poles in the garage. I’ll try to find them for you guys. Have you fished before?”

  “We went out in a boat.”

  “With Grandpa Rob. In the lake.”

  “We didn’t catch anything.”

  “He did. A really big fish. But we didn’t eat it.”

  “Do you,” I asked cautiously, “have a grandma too?”

  “Besides you? Yes, but she and Grandpa Rob are divorced. His new wife is Penny.”

  “She’s pretty young.”

  “She wants us to live with her, but I don’t like her.”

  “I like Grandpa Rob, though.”

  “Guys,” I said gently, “I’m not really your grandma. I know I was married to Sam, but we were divorced too.”

  “You’d make a good grandma, ‘cept you’re too young.”

  “Well,” I said, “that’s good to hear, I guess.”

  The workbooks closed and Maddie went into the cabinet and brought out Oreos. She gave one to her sister and took one for herself. She looked at me.

  “Daddy says we’re only allowed one before bedtime because of all the sugar. Do you want one?”

  My plate was empty. “That would be great. Thank you.”

  She put one Oreo in front of me, and I watched as she and her sister carefully took their cookies apart, scraped away the cream inside, and slowly ate each wafer. When they were done they took up their schoolwork and left, saying goodnight.

  I ate my Oreo in one bite and put my plate in the dishwasher.

  I took a long shower, changed, and headed back to the living room, turned on the television, and sat as the dogs, without the twins to entertain them, found their places around me. Ghost appeared from nowhere and jumped up behind me, purring loudly.

  I heard his footsteps in the hallway halfway through a rerun of The Big Bang Theory. Maybe he was doing laundry and would keep on going to the other end of the hall. Maybe he left something in his car. Maybe he wanted an Oreo.

  He sat down across from me and let out a long sigh.

  “How is she?” I a
sked, reaching for the remote and turning down the volume.

  He nodded. “Kids are cruel. Someone said something about her not having a mother, made a mean crack, and she lost it. It happened at the end of the day, so I just picked her up a little early.” He ran his hands over his face. “She and her mother did not get along. Amanda hated living with her. But after she died…” He shrugged. “It was very hard.”

  “Sure. Listen, Craig, I hate to pry, but the twins were talking about their other grandfather. What happened there?”

  He took a long breath. “He was suing for custody of the girls. We had our first court appearance, and he tried to say I was an unemployed, broke, drunk. Luckily, the letter had just come from Ellis, so I was suddenly a well-off business owner with a statement from my sponsor that I’d been attending meetings regularly. He…didn’t take it well. We’d been living in a house that he owned, and he told me I had to get out. Which is why I just packed up the girls and drove here.”

  “So, is that it?”

  He shrugged. “I’m living here now. I think we’re safe.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I hate to ask, but can I just run out for a bit?”

  “Ah, sure. But it’s after nine. There aren’t a whole lot of places around here for you to go.”

  “I want to go to a meeting.”

  “Oh. Right. Sure.”

  “About tomorrow? Can I meet you at Sam’s after I drop off the girls? Say, nine?”

  “What?”

  “Cleaning out Sam’s apartment, remember? Can you still help me?”

  I’d forgotten that too. Damn. “Whenever you need me.”

  “Thanks. I’ll tell Amanda where I’m going, but the twins are asleep and she’s good for the night.”

  He got up and walked back down to Amanda’s room. I listened as his footsteps went back up the hall and out the front door.

  We were going to clean out Sam’s apartment. Just he and I.

  Damn.

  Chapter Seven

  To get to Sam’s apartment, you had to go through the bar, past the restrooms, through the door that said “No Admittance”, past the storeroom and walk-in cooler, and up a flight of stairs so narrow he’d had to bring in his mattress through the second-floor windows using pulleys and ropes and three semi-drunken patrons who volunteered for the job in exchange for free tequila.