A Safe Place to Land

by Dee Ernst

  “But we can swim.”

  “We always wear out life vests.”

  “I want to see dolphins.”

  “There aren’t any dolphins.”

  “Yes, there are! And sharks!”

  “Will you take us?”

  I shook my head firmly. “No. I absolutely will not.”

  The few evenings we did spend together moved past the atmosphere of an armed truce to mutual surrender. We talked, even laughed. We watched old movies. He helped with some things around the house. I knew he’d gone on two interviews, but hadn’t heard back. Olivia Kopecknie had asked him, twice, to dinner, but he declined. When he mentioned it, very briefly, I felt something in my chest, a tightening, then release, and that’s when I realized that it wasn’t just lust anymore. As much as I still wanted to sleep with Craig Ferris, I also wanted something else.

  It wasn’t anything like what I had felt for Sam, because beyond the physical resemblance, Craig was a completely different man. He was cautious and steady, whereas Sam did anything he wanted on a whim. Craig looked at the world as a father, thinking what was best for his family, and that gave him a selflessness that Sam would never have understood. Sam had always been for Sam first, last, and always. And even though I knew he loved me as much as he loved anyone, he had never put me first.

  There was no wide-eyed adoration. I didn’t hold my breath until he walked through the door. I didn’t hang on his every word. I was a middle-aged woman now, not a headstrong young girl who wanted everything and felt she deserved it all. I knew now that love needed to be earned and treasured. I knew that loving someone came at a cost and could never be taken for granted.

  I felt a deep, almost painful longing for him and his company. I was completely happy just sitting in the same room with him. My heart almost burst into flames every time he smiled. As much as I ached to touch him, I kept a careful and controlled distance. I was terrified that if I let myself slip, I’d do something to drive him away.

  When I told my sister, she was very quiet. During the summer, Virginia Beach was block after block of traffic, and we didn’t go down to walk on the beach. Instead, we’d sit on the balcony, squinting at the water from the small shady perch.

  “Does he know?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “How could he? I’ve been on my best behavior.”

  “Maybe you should try a little misbehaving?”

  “No.”

  “Or you could just tell him?”

  “No.”

  “Because?”

  She was in a relationship now, the gentleman who had made her go woo-woo. I’d met him, a quiet man with a sweet smile only for my sister. “This isn’t like you and Simon,” I said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because the two of you met with intent. You were both looking for someone. Craig wasn’t looking for anything when he came down here, and what he got was a crazy redhead who kissed him on his father’s bed.”

  “But you feel different now. Just tell him.”

  I shook my head. “To what end? He’s looking for a job. He’s had interviews. Somebody is going to hire him. Maybe he’ll move to Baltimore or Richmond. Who knows where he’ll go? But he’ll leave.”

  “If you love him, maybe he’ll stay.”

  “No. If he loved me maybe he’d stay. And that hasn’t happened. And there’s this thing about me being Sam’s wife. It’s…”

  “It’s ridiculous, that’s what it is. You have no previous relationship with him, Jenna. In fact, you never knew of his existence.”

  I shrugged. “I know. But he mentioned it, and he’s not the kind of guy to just say things for the sake of talking, you know? It obviously weighs on his mind.”

  She grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry, baby sister.”

  “Me too.”

  On a Friday night at the end of June, Terri brought her friend to the Grove.

  “She just drove down this second,” Terri explained, grinning. “She’s staying with me, and tomorrow she’s seeing the house for the first time. Want to meet us?”

  I smiled. Terri’s happiness was infectious. “Sure. But Chris, you haven’t seen the house at all? And you let Terri buy it for you?”

  Chris, a tiny woman with a riot of curls that fell past her shoulders, was dressed in a short linen dress and flip-flops. She was olive-skinned, had big dark eyes and a decidedly Roman nose. “I saw the pictures on Zillow,” she said.

  Terri gave Chris a big squeeze. “We’re going to have so much fun!”

  Karen shook her head at Chris “You let her talk you into this?”

  Chris shrugged her shoulders. “I really needed the change, and I was swayed by the promise of hot men.”

  “And you believed Terri?” I asked, still smiling

  She smiled, her teeth small and very white. “I’ve known her along time, so I’ve learned to sift out the BS. I really just want to live somewhere I can walk to both the water and at least one bar.”

  “Well, then your new place is perfect,” I said.

  She rolled her eyes. “Not yet, but I see potential.”

  We had dinner at Shorty’s then went down to Sam’s on Main. Craig was in the restaurant side, so I just popped my head in and gave him a wave.

  Chris, who followed me in, poked me in the ribs. “See, sometimes Terri tells the truth.”

  Craig looked up, saw me, and nodded briefly. Then he looked past me, and his face changed. He’d seen Chris. I glanced at her, and she broke into a smile.

  “Who is that?” she asked.

  Terri grabbed Chris’s arm and shook her head. “He’s taken.”

  “No,” I said distinctly, “he’s not.” I looked at Chris. “That’s Craig Ferris. He owns Sam’s now. He’s got three girls.”

  Chris was still smiling. “Not a problem.”

  “But he’s taken,” Terri said again. She glared at me, and we went back into the bar. We didn’t stay long and went further down Main Street to Bogey’s. Chris, knocking back tequila shots, pointed happily down Main. “See? I’m going to be living right there. Close to everything.”

  “Including all this crowd walking past your house day and night,” Karen said. “You’ll have drunks puking on your front lawn all summer.”

  Chris stopped looking happy. “Really?” she asked.

  “It’s crazy here,” Stella told her. “Summer is crazy. Like Rehoboth. But it’s worth it for the rest of the year.”

  Chris sighed. “Too late now,” she said, and took another shot.

  The next morning, I drove down the alley that ran parallel to Main and pulled in behind Chris’s new house. The backyard was a disaster. The porch had completely come apart from the main house, and looked to be hanging on by one nail. All the windows had been boarded up and the paint was peeling off in large curlicues.

  I walked around to the front. The door was locked with a padlock. I stepped away from the house and stood on the sidewalk, giving it a long, hard look.

  It had been built as a summer cottage, with a broad front porch and pitched roof. The windows across the front were all cracked. The porch roof sagged and the walkway from the sidewalk to the porch was in pieces.

  Early morning traffic wasn’t bad down Main Street going toward the beach, but it was only ten o’clock. I knew that by noon the cars would be bumper to bumper. I looked down the street and sure enough, Terri and Chris were hurrying down the sidewalk.

  “Only six minutes from my condo to here,” Terri informed me. “I’m so excited.” She took a key out of the pocket of her linen shorts and unlocked the padlock, pushed the door open, and spread her arm out, waving Chris inside. “Your castle awaits.”

  Chris stepped forward, then stopped abruptly. “Terri,” Chris said softly, “where’s the floor?”

  I looked over Chris’s shoulder.

  Obviously, someone had been in the process of some sort of renovation. Terri had not exaggerated. The place was stripped down to the studs, including the floor. There wasn’t even su
b-flooring. The floor was nothing but joists, and you could look directly down into the stone crawlspace underneath. There were plywood strips, a foot wide, placed on top of the joists, creating a path of sorts to the back of the house.

  Terri put her arm around her friends’ shoulder. “We have a blank slate,” she said.

  Chris took a tentative few steps onto the plywood, Terri and I cautiously following. “Did you know it looked like this?” Chris asked, incredulous. “Because the pictures…”

  “Well, see the pictures on Zillow were a few years old,” Terri explained brightly. “It had been put on the market three years ago, hadn’t sold, so the owner started to redo the place, but didn’t get too far.”

  “So you knew there was no floor?” Chris asked.

  “Of course I did,” Terri responded, sounding hurt and surprised. “You don’t think I’d let you buy something without my even looking at it.”

  “And,” Chris continued, “you opened the door, saw this, and decided it was just perfect for me?”

  “Chris, I told you we’d be starting from scratch. What did you think I meant? Besides, the location is ideal. I had Mike McCann look at the place, and he said the walls and rafters are sound, and the foundation will last another hundred years. There’s even a yard out back, once you cut down all the weeds and saplings. And get rid of the old tires. The point is, we can do whatever we want here.”

  I cautiously stepped over a few joists, got back on the plywood, and started poking around. “All of the windows are either boarded up or cracked single pane. You’ll have to replace them all. The plumbing looks at least fifty years old and the electric is knob and tube, ” I told them.

  “What does that mean?” Terri asked.

  “It means it has to go. I thought you watched HGTV,” Chris said.

  “The good news is,” I told them, “ you can see all the beams here, and it doesn’t look like you’ve got any termites.”

  “Of course not,” Chris muttered. “There’s not enough wood for them to eat.”

  “There’s lots of room, Chris,” Terri said. “And you could have really tall ceilings.” She pushed her friend further into the empty space, and spread her arms. “Open concept, yes? The kitchen along that wall, the dining room in that little bay window.”

  “There’s no window,” Chris pointed out.

  “No,” Terri agreed, “but there will be. All we need to do is add the glass. Two bedrooms and a shared bathroom right in the back. We’ll move the back door to the side and have a nice brick path to the yard. The driveway comes right up to the house from the alley, so we can put in a carport if you like, and a covered patio.”

  “There’s no floor,” Chris repeated. “How can I live in a house with no floor?”

  “You’re staying with me for as long as it takes,” Terri said brightly. “We’ll have so much fun. And every day, you can walk down here and watch them work. And I’m taking my vacation in a few weeks, and I’m staying right here in Cape Edwards to help you out.”

  Chris glared. “You’re staying right here in Cape Edwards so you can snag a McCloud brother.”

  “No, honey,” Terri said. “Not McCloud. That was Dennis Weaver. McCann.”

  I patted Chris on the back. “Welcome to the neighborhood,” I told her.

  We had made our way to the back of the house where all the windows had been boarded up and there was little light, so the house looked a lot less of a mess than it probably was.

  Chris shook her head. “Terri, this is way more work than I imagined. How are we going to do this?”

  On cue, a voice boomed out from the front door. “Hey, Terri. It’s Steve McCann.”

  Even in the dark gloom, I could see Terri blush. So could Chris, who rolled her eyes and carefully made her way back to the front.

  Steve McCann had been ahead off me in school, but I’d known him all my life. He saw me and nodded a greeting.

  “Hey, Red, are you in on this too?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. Just an innocent bystander.”

  Chris stuck out her hand, and Steve shook it. “I’m Chris Polittano. I’m the official owner. Terri says you’re a miracle worker.”

  Steve was tall and lanky. He’d played basketball in high school, and he still moved with a certain grace. His face was all angles: high cheekbones, firm jawline, a thin nose. He was a good looking man, and being a successful businessman made him one of Cape Edwards’ prize catches. I’d never looked at him that way, because I’d known him for so long and remembered him as the cocky jerk who used his brief stardom on the basketball court to sleep with as many girls as he could get into the back of his Mustang convertible. He’d been five years ahead of me in school, but every girl in the district knew all about Steve McCann.

  “Well,” said Mike, coming up behind his brother. “Maybe small miracles.”

  Mike was older, and I didn’t know him at all, but he was also a handsome man, shorter than his brother, with a barrel chest and twinkling blue eyes, graying hair and a short, dark beard.

  “I’m Mike,” he said, taking Chris’ hand. “And this here is Steve, and I promise you, we will make this place look like a dream.”

  Chris looked from one to the other, and I could see her face soften. Terri’s promise had just come true, and I could see a smile start to tug at her mouth. “Walk me through it,” she challenged.

  “Later guys,” I said, and made my way back outside.

  I walked down to Sam’s on Main and picked up the girls. Sam was in the tiny back office, the door closed, but I stuck my head in to tell him we were going. He looked up briefly and nodded. We went back to the house and worked in the garden. Amanda helped me weed. Every year, right before the Fourth of July, the vegetables started ripening so thick and fast I could barely keep up. Then we all went fishing off the dock. I’d caught rockfish and striped bass in the past. Today, we caught nothing, but we tied chicken wings to the big crab trap I had pulled out of the garage and threw it in. If we were lucky, there would be fresh crab for dinner tomorrow night.

  I brought them back around eight. The restaurant was packed, as was the bar. I hurried them upstairs, supervised showers, popped a movie in the DVD player and made my way downstairs.

  I met Craig halfway up the staircase.

  It was a narrow enough space and dimly lit. He was two steps below me, and our eyes were level.

  “They’re clean and sleepy,” I told him.

  He looked exhausted and slumped against the wall of the stairwell. “Thank you so much. When you told me the summer would be busy, I never imagined…”

  “Yeah,” I said. “The good news is it’s only three months.”

  “Sure. But there’s two months to go. I may not make it.”

  I grinned and poked his shoulder. “What, a big strong guy like you? Remember, your father did it, and he had twenty years on you.”

  “True. But I believe he was fueled by booze and various chemicals.”

  “No chemicals. All natural.”

  He chuckled. “Right. I forgot how health-conscious he was.”

  We stood without speaking, but the air between us crackled. Maybe it was the hot summer night. Maybe it was my own body, sweating in a loose linen dress. Maybe it was the music, coming up from the bar, but I knew that all he had to do was lean forward and touch me, and I would explode. Surely, I thought, this wasn’t just me. He had to feel it, too.

  He dropped his eyes and backed down the stairs, letting me walk down and past him. Our bodies never touched.

  “Thanks again,” he said.

  “Sure.” I didn’t turn around. I just kept walking, through the storeroom, into the bar, and out into the night.

  It was Karen’s birthday, and she sent me a text.

  Celebrating at the pier. Michigan Zydeco. I know you just got off work but come dance with me.

  I read the text just as I got off my shift, and texted her right back.

  B there by 9

  It was Wednesday,
I didn’t have to work the next day, and Michigan Zydeco was a favorite of mine, playing a mix of rock and bluegrass, and any night on the pier meant clams and crab and ice cold beer.

  As I drove up to the house, the Suburban was there. Wednesday was Craig’s day off, and he usually stayed around the house. I walked in, yelling hello.

  My dogs, now that the girls were no longer a novelty, had gone back to their old habits, and were actually glad to see me again when I came through the door. I heard voices, and saw Craig outside, throwing a Frisbee to the twins. I walked out to them.

  Maddie dropped the Frisbee and ran up to me, Larissa right behind.

  “We went across the Bay Bridge.”

  “It was really cool.”

  “No, it was scary.”

  “Amanda wanted to go to the mall.”

  “Daddy bought her another phone.”

  “We can’t have one till we’re ten.”

  “So we had to come home right away so Amanda could do stuff.”

  “Keesha’s here and sleeping over.”

  I crouched down and gave them both a hug. “What an exciting day. Did you eat?”

  “Yes, there’s pizza left over.”

  “I hate pepperoni and had to pick it all off.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Maddie, last week you said pepperoni was your best food ever.”

  She made a face. “Not this pepperoni.”

  I stood up and looked at Craig. “Sounds like a good day?”

  He nodded. “Yes, it was. And I’m not even exhausted.” He looked well rested and happy, dressed in khaki shorts and a button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up.

  “So, you want to go out to the pier tonight?” I didn’t have a conscious thought to ask him. The words just fell out of my mouth. “It’s Karen’s birthday, there’s a great band, and you can spend some play time with grown-ups.”

  He looked a little surprised, and I guess I couldn’t blame him. “I don’t want to leave the girls,” he said.

  “Stella told me that Keesha babysat her nieces. She’s practically a professional. If she’s sleeping over, I bet she and Amanda can handle these two with no problem.”

  “We’re not a problem.”