Forever Broken

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “Fuck, no. We’re not going to let that happen. Do you understand me? I’m not going to let them take you. I just found you. Your friends love you. You’re mine. Do you get that?”

  “I don’t think it’s going to be a choice that either of us has. If it means saving the Pack and getting rid of the artifact? Then I’m going to do what I have to.”

  Max just stared at her before he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her.

  Since neither of them was wearing many clothes, he quickly ripped his shirt from her body. She’d liked wearing it, liked being enveloped in his scent.

  He plunged his fingers between her thighs, priming her so quickly she bucked off the bed, her fingers digging into his shoulders and upper arms so hard, she knew if he weren’t a shifter, she would have probably left bruises.

  He pumped his fingers in and out of her in rapid succession and, before she knew it, she was coming on his hand and trying not to scream so loudly the neighbors heard her call out his name.

  “You’re mine,” he growled, nipping her on the shoulder where he’d bitten her before. It was still tender, but whenever he touched it, she almost came.

  Damn wolf.

  Damn man.

  He sat up suddenly, lifting her and putting her on her knees so she faced the wall with her hands clinging to the headrest.

  “Hold on.”

  “Max.” It was a gasp. Needy.

  “You’re mine,” he repeated, slamming into her. Her body shook, and she was ready to come from the intrusion alone. “Just like I’m yours.” Another slam. “Take me. I’m yours. Take me. You’re mine. But you can’t stop. Can’t let go. We’re ours.”

  Then he was pounding in and out of her, his right arm holding her close while his left hand played with her nipples.

  She came again, this time so hard she had to close her eyes. Her pussy was so tender, so charged that she came again just because he moved her while she was still coming.

  And when he filled her once more, he bit her again, marking her as his. She reached around, digging her fingers into his skin, wanting to mark him as hers, as well.

  She was so damn scared of what was to come, but right then, all she had was Max.

  Right then, all she had was who they could be together.

  And maybe, just maybe, with this feeling—with this need—they could face whatever came.

  No matter the cost.

  Chapter Eleven

  Cheyenne looked down at her hands, wondering if she would ever feel normal again. Of course, she didn’t know exactly what normal was anymore. The night before, she’d had an odd prophecy-drenched nightmare and ended up having angry and emotional sex with Max as she tried to forget what the word sacrifice meant.

  “You look like you’re lost,” Dawn said, leaning into her.

  The four of them—Dawn, Cheyenne, Aimee, and Dhani—were taking a break from their various training and duties, and Cheyenne’s research so they could talk and try to find some of that normal again.

  “I’m okay. Okay, not okay. And I just said okay a lot.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned into her friend. “I guess I’m not.”

  “You had a lot happen to you in a short amount of time. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were in the middle of a nervous breakdown.” Dhani winced as the rest of her friends looked at her. “That sounded better in my head than it did aloud.”

  Aimee sighed and wrapped her arm around Dhani’s neck, jokingly choking her before letting go. The fact that it was Aimee who did it and not the others just showed Cheyenne how much her friend had healed and grown in the months since mating Walker.

  “Considering what each of us has gone through in the past couple of years, I’m surprised we’re not all in the middle of a nervous breakdown. However, Cheyenne? We’re all here for you. We might not be in your exact situation, but each of us has gone through something. So we’re here to listen.”

  Dawn sighed. “I mean, I had to deal with finding a new Pack, making my old Pack an actual legitimate one, finding a mate who didn’t really want to want me because he already had one—or at least had the potential to have one. And then I dealt with the fact that our world really wasn’t at the end of the war.” Dawn looked over at her and frowned, “Well, I guess if you put all that together, it’s kind of scary. But we made it through. And my mate loves me. And, eventually, when this war is over, we’re going to have a baby.”

  Cheyenne’s eyes widened, and she looked at her friend. “You’re pregnant?”

  Dawn shook her head, holding up her hands to try and stem the excitement. “No, I’m not pregnant. But Mitchell and I decided it was time to start trying. Okay, maybe not time to start trying right now since we’re attempting to kill an evil overlord.”

  The four of them laughed, though it was tension-filled. They were trying to find some happiness in the darkness, but it wasn’t always easy when Blade had literally tried to kill each and every one of them—and had nearly succeeded all four times.

  Dawn continued. “But we’re ready to make that decision. And I think when Blade is gone, we’re going to start a family. Even if another Pack comes at us, even if another demon comes, even if the world threatens to end all over again. We’re going to try. Because we need something to fight for. And the future is it.”

  Cheyenne wrapped her arms around her friend and couldn’t help but smile.

  “You’re going to be an amazing mother. You’re also a maternal dominant, and that means you’re already wonderful with children. You have this innate sense of motherhood and goodness and caring. And you’re going to fight no matter what happens. You’re going to be the most protective mom you can be. And I guess we’re sisters-in-law. I think that just hit me.”

  Dawn grinned. “I know. I know that all the others are actual siblings, but Mitchell and Max are the only two brothers in their branch of the family. So I guess we’re finally sisters. Although I kind of thought the three of you were already my sisters.”

  Aimee laughed. “Well, I guess that means that Dhani is my sister-in-law. But then so is Brie, Leah, and Avery. And Parker and Brandon are my brothers-in-law. Those tend to add up when there are six siblings, and one of them is in a triad.”

  “Just wait until everybody starts having children,” Dhani said with a laugh. “I mean, Max and Mitchell’s parents might’ve stopped at two, but it seems most people in this den like to have like twelve kids.”

  Cheyenne snorted and shook her head. “Maybe not twelve, but a lot of them have like eight. Even over in the Redwoods that seems to be the normal amount.” She crossed her legs and winced at that thought. “I don’t think I really want to imagine having eight children. Maybe not even one. Do wolves have pets? Could we start with a nice pet? Because I am a vet, after all, and sometimes I just want a puppy. Or a kitten. Or a turtle. Turtles live long. That could work, right?” Then Cheyenne froze, and bile filled her throat as the ramifications of the situation set in. “No, I guess having a pet wouldn’t work out. Because shifters live for so long, and having to watch their pets die after, what, ten years? No, I guess pets don’t work out.”

  Dawn reached out and gripped her hand. “It’s the case sometimes. But, other times, they have pets. There aren’t that many in this den, but the Redwoods have a few. I think it just depends on where the person is in their life. A lot of the Talons are over a century old, and having pets really isn’t what they need. Then again, maybe a pet is exactly what an elder needs. That way, they can remember their mortality. Because without that, without that desire to live so brightly within those short years, sometimes it makes it hard to imagine what life is worth.”

  Aimee leaned forward and brushed Cheyenne’s hair from her face. “Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”

  That made Cheyenne laugh, and she had to explain to them the elephant versus wolf joke that she had with Max.

  “I don’t know when I’m going to change. I know it has to happen because I’m not a witch, and shift
ing just doesn’t happen magically. I can’t just stay with Max and not hurt him if I’ll eventually fade away. But I don’t think I’m ready for that shift. I know it’s going to hurt, and frankly, I want Blade to be dead first.”

  Dhani shook her head. “It will hurt. At least that’s what they tell me. I got lucky that I’m a witch.”

  “By lucky you mean you almost died because your powers were bound?” Cheyenne asked.

  “Okay, so I wasn’t lucky.”

  Aimee shrugged. “I lived because of being changed. But my change was much different than anyone else’s.” Aimee was a lion shifter because of Audrey. Walker hadn’t been strong enough to change her because Aimee had been so far gone that they needed the most dominant wolf around to complete the change. Audrey was damn dominant, but she was a lion. Cheyenne didn’t know if Max had been dominant enough to save her, but the moon goddess had stepped in anyway.

  “I don’t know if the Pack is really going to give you an option,” Dawn put in, and Cheyenne narrowed her eyes.

  “What do you mean by that?” Cheyenne asked.

  “All I mean is that you’re a liability in some’s eyes. And a few of the elders won’t like that. With Gideon as our Alpha, we have to go with some of the old traditions. Although that was how it was in the Pack before I was even born—the Centrals that is. So, for all I know, they’re not going to let that happen. But to keep you safe, maybe being a wolf would be the best for you. Because I’m not saying you’re weak, but you’re not strong enough to protect yourself right now. And I never want to take that choice from you, but if the war goes on for too long, and if it gets any more dangerous than it already is? You might have to rethink that timetable of yours.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” Cheyenne put in. “Let’s go for our walk before we go get something to eat. Okay?” She stood up quickly from the bench, and her friends joined her. “I’m not running from the situation, I’m putting it on hold so I can worry about the end of the world and Blade rather than my own sense of humanity. Okay?”

  Dawn leaned over and hugged her close. “I still have a sense of humanity. Even if I wasn’t born human. But when you’re ready, we’ll be here to talk. And we’ll make sure you’re as prepared as possible. Because you’re my sister. One of my best friends. And I’m so happy, in a sick way, that I’m not going to have to watch you fade away. Because we know that you were walking away from us to save us and yourself. But mostly because you care about us. So, I just want to make sure you know that we love you.”

  Cheyenne moved away so she could wipe the tears from her face before opening her arms. All three of her friends moved close and hugged her tight. These ladies were some of the strongest women she knew. They had been through their ups and downs, had been through their own pains and losses, but they were her family.

  She didn’t have a family in the outside world. She had no one. Her practice was already in another person’s hands, and soon, she would sign over the paperwork so it was no longer hers at all. She hadn’t even had a chance to truly say goodbye. But it wasn’t safe for her and, frankly, it wasn’t safe for anyone else for her to be out there. Kameron’s and Mitchell’s wolves had left the den to go and pick up her stuff.

  They had packed up everything from her apartment and moved it into Max’s house. Her house. It’d been two weeks since everything had changed. And it seemed like it had only been a blink. A breath.

  But she couldn’t look back, not if she wanted to remain sane.

  So she and her friends started walking back towards to the center of the den where most of the people were. Cheyenne knew that there were people on patrol all around them at all times. And a lot of them had likely heard their conversation since shifter hearing was far more enhanced than that of humans. She really wanted to get into the whys of that and even the math and science behind it.

  And later when she wasn’t studying to figure out what the artifact was and what it could do and how to stop it, she would be able to talk with Walker and Leah about it. Because she needed a place within this Pack. She was a vet, and she loved animals.

  The fact that she was mated to a wolf had its own sense of irony. But it wasn’t as if wolves really needed a vet within their ranks. Maybe she could be a doctor if Walker needed more help. Or she’d find another way. Because she needed to fit in, and she needed to not just be Max’s mate.

  Not that there was anything just about that. It was all so new, and Cheyenne wasn’t used to what everything felt like. It was weird because if she closed her eyes and focused, she could almost sense exactly where Max was in the den. She knew he was training with some of the other sentries, making sure everybody was keeping their skills honed for the battle to come.

  Because there would be a battle. There had to be.

  There had been small skirmishes up until now when it came to Blade. But everything always ended in bloodshed. There would be no diplomacy, no letters of promise and intent when it came to finishing this.

  That wasn’t how shifters worked, and even in the final battle with the humans, there was a tank. There was bloodshed.

  She held back her anger. Max had still been hurt because of it all.

  “You’re thinking too hard over there again,” Aimee said from her other side.

  Cheyenne shook herself from her thoughts and tried to pay attention to exactly what her friends were saying. They were all discussing what needed to happen within the den since it was becoming harder and harder for them to leave and actually live within the human world. Apparently, over time, they had built their own infrastructure within the den wards. It made it so humans couldn’t easily come in and out of the territory, but it also made it so wolves sometimes felt like they were trapped. And a trapped wolf was never a good idea.

  But they were making things work out. They had their own farms, grain houses, even their own cattle. Though how a shifter could deal with cows, Cheyenne didn’t really understand. She figured it likely had to do with the witches in the group. There were schools, stores, and homes for everyone. Although there were a lot more barracks than there used to be, the single wolves having been pulled back into the den during the human war, and now being forced back because of the Aspens.

  Every time peace seemed to be unfolding, something else came in to disrupt it. Cheyenne hoped that there could be breathing room for everyone soon, but just taking these stolen moments with her friends was pretty much the only thing they could do at this time.

  They were just turning the corner when the sound of a startled yelp reached her ears. Cheyenne was off running even before her supernatural friends were. She ran through the trees, almost tripped over a rock, and leapt over a fallen log, her friends passing her along the way. She didn’t care if she was the slow human. It had sounded like a pup. A little kid was hurt, and if her friends were running as well, she was going to help.

  “Cheyenne, we need you. Aimee, go get help. Go get one of the sentries.” Dawn shouted out orders as Cheyenne scrambled her way to where Dawn and Dhani surrounded a child in wolf form, bleeding from the back of his thigh, his little mouth making mewling sounds.

  Tears sprang to her eyes, but she pushed them back, knowing she had to help and try not to act as if she were scared. She was a vet, she helped animals all the time. Just because this baby wolf pup also happened to be a human child half the time, didn’t mean that she would change the way she treated him.

  “Let me see what we’re dealing with,” she said, her voice brisk. It had to be.

  She went to her knees, the damp soil clinging to her. They’d had rain the night before, and now everything was wet. She had a feeling this little pup had strayed from school, and while people were probably looking for him, it looked as if he had rolled a bit down the wet incline.

  The little boy looked at her fingers, and she ran her hand through his fur. “I know you can understand me, baby. Do you want to stay in this form, or would it help to shift?” She looked up at Dawn as she asked t
hat, hoping it was the right question.

  “How about you stay in your wolf form, baby. Cheyenne will be able to help you here. And as soon as Aimee gets Walker, he’s going to be able to Heal you, okay? It doesn’t look that bad at all. You’re super strong and very brave. Okay, baby? Are you listening to me, Mark?”

  “Okay, Mark, I’m just going to take a look at your leg. I’m sure you’re fine, okay, baby?”

  Mark licked Cheyenne’s fingers, and she smiled at him. She had worked with a wolf before, and plenty of puppies. But working with one who could actually understand you? This was a whole new ballgame.

  She felt around and looked at the wound. She was pretty sure Mark had broken his leg and also had a few abrasions. He hadn’t lost a lot of blood and would be fine. She wasn’t sure what Walker could do as Healer versus her as just a human vet.

  “Walker can’t Heal a bone, he has to set it first,” Dhani whispered in her ear so the injured little pup couldn’t hear.

  “I’m going to set it then, and then he can Heal away all the pain.” She whispered the words back, but she knew Dhani had heard, as well as Dawn.

  Dawn began singing a soft song, the baby almost falling to sleep. Dawn was a maternal dominant wolf, and Cheyenne knew that the woman was not only calming this little pup but also using her powers and bonds that connected her with the Pack to hopefully take away some of his pain. Her friend wasn’t a Healer, but she was meant for her place in this Pack.

  Dhani quickly looked around for two branches after Cheyenne asked for them, knowing they wouldn’t have to use them for long, but she still wanted to make sure everything was set. She probably wouldn’t use them at all since Walker was on his way, but she needed to be sure. And then she went about setting the bone, wincing at the sound it made, and even more so at the fact that the little baby let out another painful noise.

  And then Walker was there, his hands on the wolf pup. He gave her a look of gratitude, and then there were two parents and two teachers running through the woods to come and see their little pup.