Forever Broken

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Cheyenne’s eyes filled with tears, and she kissed him back. “I love you, too. I love you with everything that I am. You surprised me, Max Brentwood. I never thought I would have this, never thought I would have you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Then don’t do anything stupid. Don’t sacrifice yourself. Let us find another way.”

  There was so much hurt, so much pain in his voice, that she had to move around so she could kiss him harder. “As long as you don’t do anything stupid either, Max.”

  “You’re mine,” he said softly. “Always.”

  “Always,” she whispered.

  Just like you’re mine.

  She didn’t say it.

  But he knew it.

  No matter what happened next, she knew they would be together.

  They had to be.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “You look like you haven’t slept in days,” Mitchell said, pulling Max out of his thoughts.

  Max hadn’t even realized he was so focused on himself again instead of on the fact that Mitchell had invited him over for a little brother time. Things had been heating up, and Max knew it would probably only get worse.

  There hadn’t been any skirmishes or even bombings like there was with the humans, and there hadn’t been any more deaths since Cheyenne fought back against Blade.

  This was such a weird battle strategy for the Talons, though, and Max knew that Gideon and the rest were feeling like they were at their wits’ end.

  The Talons couldn’t fight back with claws or fangs if there wasn’t anyone to fight against. The Aspens were so closed-in, and they hadn’t heard from Audrey. Max feared the worst with that.

  The Aspen Beta had helped them and had possibly sacrificed her life to do so.

  “There you go again,” Mitchell said calmly, and Max blinked. “What the hell are you thinking about over there?”

  “Just the fact that we’re fighting an unseen force. Blade keeps coming at us and is literally killing people, and there’s nothing we can do.”

  “I know. Do you think I like this? I feel like I’m sitting on my fucking hands instead of being able to do anything for anybody. All I can do is watch your mate almost die over and over again as she tries to do something. But what can she do? What can any of us do? We can’t get into the Aspen den, and it looks like we’re just going to have to wait for Blade to make the next move, that doesn’t include the shady tricks that he’s been up to.”

  “You know it’s a sad day when you almost miss a human government with a tank and a witch on the edge. It was easier to fight when we knew what was coming at us.”

  “But did we know what was coming at us? It’s always been scary, always been one thing after another. One new thing after another. It’s never been just wolf on wolf. At least not for a few years.”

  “And do we even want that? I just want peace. I just want my mate out of the line of fire. And that’s all she seems to be in these days.”

  “You’re telling me. Blade was the one who thought Dawn would be the perfect sacrifice in order to show us that the Centrals didn’t need to be a Pack and they deserved to die. Blade took my mate, and she almost died. And then Aimee almost died. And then Dhani almost died. We lost wolves, we lost friends. And all because Blade is an egomaniac that we just can’t take out.”

  “We’ll get him. Because I don’t think we’re going to have another choice.”

  Mitchell sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Max’s brother was Beta, and that meant, at least in the Talon Pack, that Mitchell was responsible for the needs of every single Pack member. The Enforcer did the protecting, the Omega dealt with emotions, the Healer handled physical injuries, and the Alpha took care of everything else. But the Beta and the Heir, Ryder, were the ones that brought it all together. And that meant that Max was on the outside looking in. He was always there to help, but without those extra bonds, there wasn’t much he could do without being ordered to do it. He tried to do more and even put himself out there more than he used to over the years, but sometimes, being the one without a title took its toll.

  Or at least it had.

  He’d slowly found his way and his place. Yes, it had taken losing part of himself and then finding it again with Cheyenne, but here he was, ready to fight. Prepared to be who he needed to be. “You know, Mitchell, I know you guys worry about me. And I guess I gave you need to worry.”

  “We thought you were going to die. And not just on that battlefield.” Mitchell paused, and Max knew his brother was remembering everything that had happened back when they finished fighting the humans. “You almost died. And then when Walker said you would be fine and we would find a way to make sure that you could be the way you were, you closed yourself off from us. I thought we’d lost you forever. You didn’t smile anymore. You didn’t lean down and kiss the women’s cheeks anymore. Remember when you did that to one of the newly mated? I thought her mate was going to rip your face off.”

  Mitchell smiled as he said it, and that brought a smile to Max’s face. “I used to be happier. But maybe that was because you shielded me for so long.”

  Mitchell shook his head. “I never shielded you. Not enough. You dealt with your own shit. Dad beat the shit out of you, just like he did me. You saw the others die, saw the weakest die. You saw our mother die because Dad was an asshole. You were there for all of it. So I can’t say that I shielded you. But I can say that you were the one who faced it all and said you were going to find the good in it. That you were going to be the person you wanted to be, rather than one forged in flame.”

  “And yet I ended up being that man anyway.”

  “I don’t think you’re the man forged in flames. You’re the man you needed to be after everything happened. And I guess it took me a long time to realize that. I thought I had failed you, Max. Because I couldn’t save you that day. Walker could, and so could the others who held your body together. But I wasn’t there to push that man out of the way. And I think I should have. It doesn’t make rational sense, but you’re my baby brother. And I’m the big brother. That’s sort of what I do.”

  “I don’t think that I’m the right man to say this, and maybe that’s because I always feel like I’m one step behind, but I think that whatever happened needed to happen. I used to believe in fate more than I do now. And I used to look fate in the face and say that everything happened for a reason. And then when it did happen, when the worst happened—at least the worst at the time—I thought maybe it happened because I wasn’t good enough. Because fate decided a Brentwood needed to die, or at least lose part of himself. And I was the one who was most easily lost. After all, I wasn’t the one that was going to break bonds when I died. There would be no shifting in the power structure when the Pack lost me.”

  “That’s insane.” Mitchell growled out the words, and Max figured that his brother was about to leap off the couch at any moment and beat the shit out of him.

  Max held up his hand and shook his head. “Stop. I had those thoughts, and I can’t help it. Because sometimes when you look at all the amazing things that you and the rest of the family have done for this Pack and our people? It’s hard to live up to it. And I know you don’t mean to make me feel that way. That’s on me. And I know you all have your own burdens. Believe me, I know you do. But, sometimes, it’s just hard to not be able to help the way I want to. And, yes, that’s selfish of me. And that’s something I have to deal with on my own. I don’t know if it bothered me as much before the attack, but when I was already so vulnerable physically, and even mentally after what happened, those thoughts seeped in and tugged at me. But I’m not that man anymore.”

  “Because of Cheyenne?”

  “Yes, and no. She was a surprise.”

  “A hell of a surprise.”

  “I don’t know who I would have been without her. But I also don’t know who she would have been without me. And maybe that’s egotistical, but isn’t that what mates are supposed to do? They’re not sup
posed to change for each other, but with each other. I always looked at her and wondered what could have been. But my wolf didn’t feel her, and maybe that’s because the moon goddess didn’t decide we should be mates until the last moment. Or maybe it was because I was broken inside. Or I just hid from anything that could have been my future because I was scared. I don’t know, but that’s not really something I can ask. The moon goddess doesn’t talk to me, she just shows up and scares the hell out of all of us.”

  “Tell me about it. But I’m happy for you, Max. You and Cheyenne keep saying that things have moved fast, but have they? You were both thrown into this situation where you’re always crossing paths, always in each other’s spheres. And, remember, we’re not human. Mating happens for a reason, and I would know that.”

  Considering his brother’s past, Max knew that was a hard statement to even say.

  “But back to what I was saying before. I don’t feel like I’m left behind anymore. I don’t feel like I have to work harder to prove who I am. So maybe I’m healing, or maybe I’m just becoming the Max that I need to be now. But I don’t think I need a true connection to the hierarchy anymore to feel like I’m the person I need to be. If that were to ever happen, by the way, I’d do my best. But in order for that to happen, one of you guys has to give up your bonds, and that’s not something I want to think about.”

  “Uh, yeah, let’s not even think about that.”

  “And now I need to head over to my mate, because we have a little more studying to do before I can finally tell her that it’s time for bed.”

  Mitchell laughed and shook his head then stood up and brought Max into a big hug. Max leaned into his brother, inhaling the scent that always reminded him of home. His parents hadn’t been the best people. His mother had been weak, unable to protect them even though sometimes he thought she wanted to. But through all their horrors, Max always had his brother. Yes, he had his cousins, too, but his brother was different. And Max knew his cousins felt the same way about each other.

  “Go tell your mate that we’re thinking of her and we’re going to figure out a way to disconnect her from the artifact before we destroy it. I hope you know that.”

  Max nodded, his fists clenched by his sides. “I’m not going to lose her, Mitchell. I just found her. And even if she wasn’t my mate… Let’s pretend that this has nothing to do with me and I’m not the center of this universe right now.”

  Mitchell laughed, and Max smiled.

  “No matter what, I’m not going to let her die. She deserves a happy and full life. She deserves to grow with her friends and figure out exactly who she is in this new world. She deserves everything, and I’m going to do all in my power to make sure that happens.”

  “Out of all of us, Max? I think you’re the one who can do that.”

  Max hugged his brother again and then headed over to his house where Cheyenne was, books strewn across the coffee table. His mate was stalking the kitchen, pacing back and forth. There was a tension in the air that worried him, and he frowned. He moved a few steps closer, and she turned. Her eyes were wide, bloodshot, and tears streamed down her cheeks.

  “What?”

  “Xavier found something. In one of the books.”

  “What did he find?” Max tried to sound calm, but it was hard when he knew that whatever she was about to read to him, whatever she was going to show him, wouldn’t be good. She walked over to him and to the book that lay on the island in front of them.

  “Here. You should read it.”

  “Come here. Let me hold you.”

  She sank into his side, and he wrapped his arm around her as he looked down at the book in front of him. The blood in his veins grew cold, and his jaw tightened. His wolf howled, clawing at the edges of his skin, wanting out, wanting retribution that would never come.

  “This is wrong. We’re going to find another way.”

  “You know what it says. In order to fully take out the artifact and make sure the moon goddess has it in her hold, those connected to it must end. And that’s Blade.”

  A pause. “And me.”

  “No. That’s not going to happen. I’m not going to lose you. You’re not going to lose either.”

  “I don’t think we have a choice, Max. I think that whatever happens, we’re going to have to face it head-on. But I’m not going to let everyone die around me so I can have a chance. Because in the end, I might die anyway.”

  “No.” He cupped her face and kissed her hard.

  “What if we don’t have a choice?”

  “There’s always a choice. That’s what I’ve learned after so many years living in this Pack. There’s always a choice.”

  “A choice? I want that to be true. But what if it’s not? Max? Make love to me. Just make me forget. Give me tonight. Tomorrow, we can find the answers. Just give me tonight.”

  And because he couldn’t find the words, he kissed his mate and picked her up, setting her ass on the counter.

  “Tonight.”

  Tomorrow, they would find the answers. Tomorrow, they would save the world and maybe themselves.

  Tonight, he would make sure his mate knew she was loved. And that she was his.

  He kissed her softly, loving her taste, wanting more. She tugged on his shirt, and he lifted his arms, allowing her to remove it. Then his mouth was back on her, tasting her, craving her.

  Her hands roamed up and down his back, and she growled. He couldn’t help but smirk, his cock pressing against his jeans as she ran her fingernails down his back. They weren’t claws yet since she was still so new, but it was close enough. His mate was all wolf, and he loved her more than anything.

  He didn’t have to hold back now, though tonight would be soft, just the two of them.

  Later, they would let their wolves out to play.

  He quickly divested her of her shirt before leaning down to lick her nipples. He loved the fact that she hadn’t worn a bra, and secretly knew it was for him. She loved when he sucked on her nipples and liked giving him easy access when they were at home.

  He tried to push out all the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm him at the idea of what would happen next. But for now, he could at least focus on his mate and what they meant to each other.

  “Max. I need you in me.”

  “I can do that,” he growled, then stripped her out of the rest of her clothes, tearing them when they got in his way, and tossing them around the kitchen.

  She pulled at his pants, but before she could undo the button, he went to his knees and started licking at her pussy. He loved eating her out, loved the little noises she made when he hit just the right spot. He especially loved the fact that his beard scraped her just enough to leave her aching for more, her inner thighs so soft it was all he could do not to bite and taste.

  “Max!” she came on his face, one leg hanging over his shoulder, the other foot planted on him for support.

  Then he had his pants down below his ass and was inside her, her aching heat already clenching around him from her previous orgasm. He had to hold back a groan and bite his tongue so he wouldn’t come right then. It was so damn hard when she was this hot and always so close to sending him over the edge.

  “You’re so tight for me. Always so warm and perfect.”

  She grinned up at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders. “I can say the same about you and that mighty dick of yours.”

  He snorted, even as he pumped inside of her. Only with Cheyenne could he feel so much at once. “Mighty dick?”

  “We can name it later, but for now, fuck me, Max Brentwood. Make love to me. Make me yours.”

  So he did, moving fast, moving hard, even if he was still more gentle with her than he would have been at any other time. He was afraid as soon as he let go, they’d have to face their reality and the battle coming.

  He couldn’t, though. Couldn’t look forward when all he wanted to do was look at his mate.

  She must have k
nown what he was thinking because she brought her lips to his and kissed him with every ounce of…everything she had.

  So he pumped harder, needing more. He slid his hand between them and brushed his thumb over her clit.

  And then she came, right on his shaft, and he filled her up, not stopping his movements until he was wrung dry, and she was holding onto him as if she couldn’t keep herself up.

  He held her close, toed out of his pants, then carried her naked to their bathroom. He’d give her a bath and hold her for the rest of the night.

  And in the morning, they’d face what they needed to, together.

  Tonight, though, tonight…they could forget.

  Tonight would be about them.

  Because tonight may be the last.

  He just hoped to the goddess it wasn’t.

  AUDREY

  Audrey wasn’t dead, but sometimes she sure felt like it. She looked down at her raw and bleeding wrists and hoped to hell she’d start healing soon. It wasn’t like she could go to her Healer, not now, not when she was on the run from her Pack, her own Alpha.

  She’d always known there was something off about Blade, but she’d thought it was because he was a misogynistic asshole who hadn’t like the fact that a woman had been blessed by the moon goddess as his Beta.

  She’d gotten used to the barbs.

  The innuendoes.

  And she’s fought off every challenger who had dared come at her, thinking they could show their strength to their Alpha and the goddess.

  Audrey had won those challenges and had done her best to do it with a fierce grace that would hopefully show the others that she was strong physically and emotionally.