Embraced

by Lysa TerKeurst

  I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad.

  One of the first times I came to understand this truth was in middle school when I met a beautiful girl at the Children’s Theater in my town. We were both budding child actors cast in a Christmas play. During rehearsals I can remember seeing her long dancer’s legs move in ways my stubby limbs never could. Her legs were muscular and lean and graceful. Mine couldn’t be described with any of those adjectives.

  One day there was an unusual pain in her left leg. And then a doctor’s appointment turned into a battery of tests that turned into a hospital stay that turned into a diagnosis. Cancer. A surgery to remove a tumor turned into an amputation turned into a complete life change. Her world became filled with words no child should ever have to know: chemotherapy, prosthetics, hair loss, and walking canes.

  As a young girl I was stunned by the whole thing. Especially because I clearly remember night after night after watching her glide across stage, I would ask God for legs exactly like hers.

  Not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad.

  I don’t want to paint the picture that every good thing someone else has will end with a tragedy. That’s not the case. Sometimes others’ good things are simply fantastic. But they are fantastic for them—not me.

  Dear Lord, thank You for only entrusting me with what I have and who I am. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

  92

  BUT, LORD, I CAN’T DO THAT!

  Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

  —EXODUS 4:10

  Insecurities. We all have them.

  These qualities about ourselves that make us lack confidence or assurance can be a positive call to action to make healthy changes in our lives.

  But insecurities can also hold us back from stepping into the assignments God calls us to.

  That’s exactly what happened in the place where we find Moses in our key verse today.

  Moses knew with absolute certainty what God was calling Him to do. God had confirmed it by speaking to him audibly through a burning bush telling him, “to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt” (Exodus 3:10).

  And Moses knew exactly what to say, what God planned to do, that God would be with him, and that God would provide for them with plunder from the Egyptians.

  So, what could possibly hold him back when things seemed so very clear?

  It was the same thing that might be holding you and me back at times.

  Moses doubted God had created him for the calling God gave him.

  In Exodus 4:10 Moses says to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

  The exact way God made you is in keeping with how He will use you.

  The Lord comes back with very strong words to Moses, “Who gave human beings their mouths? . . . Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say” (vv. 11–12).

  When we doubt we have what it takes for us to do what God calls us to do, we are doubting His creative abilities. He knew from the beginning of time what He would call you to do and therefore how you would need to be formed. God does everything with purpose and precision.

  The exact way He made you is in keeping with how He will use you.

  Trust this. Embrace this. Even if you don’t know all the details of your calling quite yet, thank God for making you perfectly equipped for your assignments ahead.

  And when insecurities start to make you doubt, flip it around and say, “God, I may doubt myself. But I will not doubt You. So, I will let Your perfection override my feelings of imperfection and do what You instruct me.”

  Heavenly Father, I confess that all too often I doubt I have what it takes to do the things You have called me to do. Remind me I have been perfectly equipped for the assignments You have given me. Help me not to doubt or compare. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

  93

  FEELING GUILTY?

  I praise you because I am fearfully and

  wonderfully made;

  your works are wonderful,

  I know that full well.

  —PSALM 139:14

  I gathered the restaurant bags, sighed, and crammed them into the overstuffed trash can. A friend had sent me a recipe that day which involved peeling and chopping and simmering. I imagined her trash can full of fresh veggie peelings and other things that proved her kitchen produced way more homemade goodness than mine.

  And a little thread of guilt wrapped around my heart.

  Sometimes I feel more guilty for what I’m not than thankful for what I am.

  But there was sweet grace waiting for me in a yogurt shop that night. My oldest daughter, Hope, had asked if I would come and speak to a little Bible study she was helping organize. “Mom, I think there are going to be a lot of people who show up.”

  So, instead of cooking that night, I ordered out. Again. And then I drove to the yogurt shop with the girl whose heart was full of excitement and expectation.

  People were everywhere. Young people. Invited people. And parents. Nearly two hundred people packed inside the yogurt shop and overflowed onto the sidewalk outside. Hope smiled.

  Sometimes I feel more guilty for what I’m not than thankful for what I am.

  I took the microphone and spoke from my heart. I told my story. I taught truth. I invited the people to let Jesus be the Lord of their hearts.

  And many who had never done so said yes to God that night. A teen girl who’d tried to commit suicide the year before stood to accept Jesus. A young man with tears in his eyes stood to accept Jesus. A mom and a dad stood to accept Jesus. Along with many others.

  In the yogurt shop.

  With a woman whose trash can was filled with takeout bags.

  A woman who isn’t the greatest cook. But a woman who wants to learn to be more thankful for what I am than guilty for what I’m not. A woman who wants the truth of Psalm 139:14 to be the declaration of my soul: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

  Maybe you are the friend with the veggie peelings in the trash can and steaming homemade goodness on the table.

  Celebrate that.

  Or maybe you are like me. And your gifts are less tasty.

  Celebrate that.

  And cut the threads of guilt with the edge of grace.

  Dear Lord, You made me in Your image and that is something I seem to forget daily. Please help me remember to celebrate and live in who You made me to be and not in what I wish I were. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

  94

  EVEN WHEN I FALL SHORT

  Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,

  but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.

  —PROVERBS 24:16

  Rewarding. That’s what this particular day was supposed to be, my shining-star day at my kids’ school. Finally, I was going to get the “Really Good Mommy Award.”

  This is not an official award on a frame-worthy piece of fine linen paper. It’s just a feeling—that feeling of getting a thumbs-up and acceptance nod that you are in fact doing an okay job as a mom.

  I had volunteered to make one hundred individually wrapped homemade brownies. And I was going to be completely fancy and use the turtle brownie mix that comes in a box. That’s as close to homemade as I get.

  After baking all those brownies and allowing them to cool, I cut and lifted each one into the safety of its own little baggie and recruited my daughters to help me finish up. We bagged up brownies ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven, and then a disaster of epic proportions occurred.

  Nuts.

  These turtle brownies had nuts in them. Lots of nuts. And there I was standing over individually wrapped brownie number ninety-seven listening to my daughter’s reminder that our school wa
s, in fact, a peanut-free school.

  My arms started flailing about as if to gather the pieces of my scattered brain and tuck everything back into place. I sent the kids out of the room and ate brownies ninety-eight, ninety-nine, and one hundred.

  When circumstances shift and we feel like we fall short, we should ask, How can I see Jesus even in this?

  No shining star. No Really Good Mommy Award. No happy, proud kids elated with their mom’s efforts.

  I spent the rest of the day trying to process this great brownie failure. I saw it as a debacle that defined my motherhood journey. Grand visions that led to big messes that led to unmet expectations that heaped more and more guilt on my already slightly fragile motherhood psyche.

  And that’s exactly where Satan would have loved for me to stay. That’s his daily goal, actually. If Satan can use our everyday experiences, both big and small, to cripple our true identities, then he renders God’s people totally ineffective for the Kingdom of Christ.

  These were brownies for a school bake sale. And these brownies had somehow knocked me to the ground. I didn’t want to smile. I didn’t want to be kind. I didn’t want to be a disciple for Christ that day. Ever been there?

  Satan wants us to entertain a very dangerous thought: Why doesn’t Jesus work for me? This is never the right question. Instead, when circumstances shift and we feel like we fall short, we should ask, How can I see Jesus even in this?

  The only way I can ask myself this question is when I pull back from whatever situation I’m facing and separate my circumstance from my identity.

  Now let’s state what is true. Despite my feelings, my identity stayed the same. I am a loving mom. I am a giving person. I am a woman who takes her responsibilities seriously. I am a daughter of the King.

  All of this is true despite my failures. So, though I had a whole mess of extra brownies with nuts laying around and the school didn’t have any brownies for the bake sale that day, this mishap didn’t define me. The only thing it meant was that I needed to read the bake sale instruction sheet a little closer next time.

  That’s it. It’s simply a call to action not a call to condemnation. And did you notice the response of the righteous man in Proverbs 24:16? Though he fell time and again, he kept getting up. May we do the very same thing.

  Dear Lord, help me separate my circumstances from my identity. Help me only determine my worth by Your truth and not my performance in any situation. Thank You for looking at me not as I am, but how Jesus has enabled me to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

  95

  THE FRIENDSHIP CHALLENGE

  Two are better than one,

  because they have a good return for their labor:

  If either of them falls down,

  one can help the other up.

  But pity anyone who falls

  and has no one to help them up.

  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

  But how can one keep warm alone?

  —ECCLESIASTES 4:9–11

  What makes a woman tender also reveals her vulnerabilities.

  What makes a woman transparent also exposes her wounds.

  What makes a woman authentic also uncovers her insecurities.

  And there aren’t many women who enjoy being revealed, exposed, and uncovered. But establishing real intimacy with another person requires pushing past the resistance—past the fear.

  Friendship is risky.

  To be known is to risk being hurt. But friendship can be beautiful, and worth the risk.

  We can look to the Bible for examples of monumental friendships. In 1 Samuel 18 we learn about the special friendship between David and Jonathan, an example of a true bond. When Jonathan’s father, King Saul, threatened David with death, Jonathan risked his position in his father’s household and warned his friend.

  Jonathan and David’s friendship lasted their lifetime, and because of Jonathan’s loyalty to David, the Lord blessed them both. David eventually became king, but by then Jonathan had died. David inquired, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” (2 Samuel 9:1).

  Don’t miss this beauty: it was customary for the present king to put to death any of the former king’s family. However, because of his and Jonathan’s strong friendship, King David tenderly provided for Jonathan’s son. “I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table” (v. 7). “So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons” (v. 11).

  Awesome. Inspiring. Friendship.

  Yes, friendship is beautiful. The Lord gave it to us. He knew we would need each other to get through this life. He even tells us in Ecclesiastes 4:9 that “two are better than one.”

  Think about a friend you can make an investment in.

  Not the friend with whom you feel most comfortable. But rather one who might benefit from seeing a little more of your tenderness, transparency, and authenticity. Someone who might be worth a risk.

  The Lord knew we would need each other to get through this life.

  Someone in your sphere of influence is desperate to know someone else understands.

  Might we take three steps and give ourselves a friendship challenge? Here are three things you can do to invest in a friend:

  1. Have a conversation with her in which you honestly admit one of your vulnerabilities. Chances are she’ll reveal something to you as well. Then really commit to pray for her. Maybe wear a watch or bracelet and every time you’re distracted by it, use this as a prompt to carry her burden in your prayers.

  2. Buy or make this friend a gift. Just because. It doesn’t have to cost much. But make an investment of time to think of something that would personally delight her.

  3. Write your friend a note to attach to the gift. In the letter, tell her at least three things you admire about her and some way she’s made a difference in your life.

  Then deliver this little “just because” gift and note to your friend. This friend who sometimes feels a little vulnerable. Wounded. Exposed in some way.

  Your honesty and thoughtfulness will be such a sweet investment.

  For her.

  For you.

  For your friendship.

  Are you up for taking the friendship challenge?

  Dear Lord, thank You for the friendships and beautiful blessings You have placed in my life. Help me to see this challenge as a sweet reminder to show Your love to those around me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

  96

  THE SCRIBBLED TRUTH THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

  Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you.”

  —ACTS 3:6

  When my baby sister died tragically and unexpectedly, my entire world flipped upside-down. It was a very dark season of my life.

  What I once knew to be true suddenly became questionable.

  Is God good? If so, why this? And if I never know why, how can I ever trust God again?

  Hard questions. Honest questions. Questions that haunted me.

  Until one day, I got a note from a friend. A girl I not-so-affectionately called my “Bible friend.” She honestly got on my nerves with all her Bible verse quoting. I wasn’t on good terms with God at that point in my life. I didn’t want to believe God even existed. And I certainly wasn’t reading the Bible.

  I made all of this very known to my Bible friend. But in her gentle, sweet, kind way . . . she kept slipping me notes of truth with gently woven verses tucked within. And one day, one verse cracked the dam of my soul. Truth slipped in and split my hard-hearted views of life open, just enough for God to make Himself known to me.

  I held that simple note with one Bible verse scribbled on the front as the tears of honest need streamed down my cheeks. My stiff knees bent. And a whispered, “Yes, God,” changed the course of my life.1 (If you have never whispered yes to God, you can find a salvation prayer on page 315.)

  I will never doubt
the power of one woman reaching into the life of another woman with some written whispers of love.

  My Bible friend had reached me. And because of her, I’m determined to use my words as a gift to others who may be in hard places . . . like a friend of mine who recently told me she is struggling with feeling like she has no real purpose.

  Life rushes at her each day with overwhelming demands. Everything feels hard, with very little reprieve.

  If ever there were a drowning with no water involved, this is where my friend is. Maybe you have a hurting friend, too.

  So I sat down to write my friend a card and send her a little gift. I desperately wanted to love her through my words. My heart was full of care, compassion, and a strong desire to encourage, but I struggled to translate all I felt on paper.

  As I prayed about it, the word loved kept coming to mind.

  Remind her she is loved. Remind her how much you respect her. Remind her that she is a woman who has so much to offer. Remind her she is valuable and she is enough.

  In Acts 3, Peter and John encountered a crippled man at the temple gate called Beautiful. They stopped. They noticed. They decided to touch. Riches weren’t available to them but the ability to value was.

  As Acts 3:6–7 says, “ ‘Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.’ Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up.”

  Peter and John didn’t have silver, but they had a hand to offer and value to give. The man in need was worth touching. The hurting one in need was a man who needed someone to see him as a man. The man in need had so much to offer. After he got up, he went into the temple courts, praising God and stirring up wonder and amazement about God.