by Ash, Nikki
The room is silent for what feels like an hour, everyone worrying about the baby. The tension in the room is so palpable that it’s beyond uncomfortable. Finally, the nurse and doctor walk back in.
“After running a battery of tests, we have concluded she’ll need a blood transfusion,” the doctor says.
“What? What’s wrong with her?” I cry out.
“It appears she’s anemic and the lack of red blood cells are what’s causing her to have trouble breathing. The issue is she has a rare blood type. Her blood type is O and only another person with an O blood type can donate. There was an accident a couple days ago, and that patient required the same blood type, so we have put a call to the hospital closest to us for them to send some over; however, if one of the parents or a family member could donate it, it would speed things up.”
“Mom, what am I?” I ask.
“You’re blood type is B, Bella.”
“Okay, then the father has to be O,” the nurse states matter-of-factly.
“No, that can’t be right,” Ashley says. “Tristan is AB.”
“Are you sure?” the nurse asks.
Before Ashley can answer, Hayley says, “Marco is O. He got a horrible stomach virus when he was thirteen and was admitted to the hospital. Because I wasn’t sure, I asked the nurse when she took blood and she told me.”
Everybody’s heads swing toward where Marco is standing.
“Fuck,” Tristan says. “Bella…”
“Okay, come with me,” the nurse says, leading Marco out in a rush.
“Wait!” I shout, Marco and the nurse coming to an abrupt halt. “He’s a drug addict. Can he give blood?”
The nurse looks at Marco then to me. “It will go through a process. If it’s not clean, he can’t.” Then she turns to Marco. “When is the last time you did drugs?”
Marco shakes his head in shame, but I don’t give a shit. This is my damn baby and she isn’t going to be given blood from a drug addict.
“It’s been ninety days since I’ve touched a drug,” he says, causing me to gasp because holy shit, Marco is clean!
“Then we’re good, but all blood will get checked before they begin the transfusion. I will keep you updated.” Once Marco and the nurse are gone, the room goes silent for a beat and then there’s an uproar.
“Bella, what’s going on?” my dad asks.
“Bella, tell me this isn’t what I think it is,” Tristan says softly.
“What’s going on?” my brother, Nathan, asks.
Suddenly, it feels like there are way too many people in this small room.
“Okay, everyone needs to calm down,” Hayley says over all the questions and accusations. “There’s a baby who needs our thoughts and prayers right now. We can deal with this after we know she is okay.”
“Why don’t we go down to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat?” Ashley suggests to Kaden, taking Nathan and Lilly with her. Mason is at the hotel watching the other kids, but my siblings insisted on coming to see their niece.
“We’ll join you,” Caleb says, he and Hayley following them out.
“I need to go for a walk,” Tristan murmurs and walks out the door without looking at me.
Once it’s only my parents left in the room with me, my dad says, “Bella, you gotta talk to us. My imagination is running wild here.”
“Cooper, her baby is sick and getting a blood transfusion. This can wait,” my mom admonishes.
I close my eyes and think about how I’m going to handle this. I was so stupid to think I would ever get away with nobody finding out Marco is the father of my baby. I don’t regret my decision because I did what I felt was best at the time, but now that it’s coming to the surface, I need to handle this. I need to woman up and face this head-on. Marco said he didn’t want a baby. He recommended I have an abortion. There was no way I was going to tell him I was pregnant with his kid after the things he said.
What I do regret, is lying to Tristan—even if it’s only technically by omission. He should have known Marco is the dad. He’s been nothing but supportive, and for him to find out I kept this from him is such a slap in his face. I can’t even imagine how betrayed he must feel. I need to explain things to him, make him understand why I kept this from him.
I’m not sure how long I lie here thinking about how bad I’ve fucked up, but when the door opens and I see Tristan and Marco walk in, the blood in my body goes cold.
“I donated the blood. They said once they run it through the tests, as long as it’s clean they’ll do the transfusion.”
“Is it clean?” Tristan sneers.
Marco’s nostrils flare and his fists clench as he tries to compose himself. “Yes, it’s clean. I’ve been clean for three months now.”
“This is unbelievable,” Tristan booms. “I want the truth, Bella.”
“Not now,” my mom pleads, but Tristan ignores her.
“Is Marco the baby’s father?”
“Yes,” I say, done with the lies.
My mom covers her mouth, and my dad lets out a loud growl. My mom has hinted to me several times that she knows who the dad really is, so it doesn’t surprise me that she isn’t shocked. My dad, on the other hand, looks like he’s about to murder someone, which means my mom never mentioned her assumptions to him.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tristan punches the wall. “Wait a second, you said the father of your baby didn’t want the baby.” He turns to Marco. “Did you tell Bella you didn’t want this kid?” He stalks up to Marco and gets right into his face. “Did you?”
“No, I didn’t know…” Marco begins to say, and his lie sets me off.
“You told me to have an abortion. You told me you didn’t want a baby.”
“You did what?” my dad booms. “You knocked up my fucking daughter then told her to have a goddamn abortion!” My dad grabs Marco by the collar and shoves him against a wall.
“I didn’t know she was pregnant with my kid, I swear. I was fucked up. I was on drugs and I didn’t know. I don’t even remember sleeping with her.”
My dad’s fist cocks back and it lands straight on Marco’s jaw, his face jerking to the side from the impact. At that moment, Caleb and Hayley come in. Caleb rushes over to my dad and Marco to separate them, but then Tristan is in Marco’s face.
“I have spent my entire life loving this fucking girl and you had her and can’t even remember it. We’ve been friends for fucking years! How could you do this? Then, because you chose to get high instead of dealing with the accident, you told her to abort her baby. And all of this was before you showed up at our apartment yelling and screaming at her because she tried to get you help!”
Tristan doesn’t even cock his hand back when he sucker punches Marco. All the guys grab them, tearing Tristan away from Marco. Once he gets himself somewhat composed, Tristan looks me dead in the eyes and says, “You should have told me, Bella. You should have told me the father of your baby was our best friend. It’s one thing to raise a stranger’s baby, but you were just going to let me raise our friend’s baby without me knowing.”
My eyes close as I will the tears to stop. I know I’m wrong here, I don’t deserve to cry, but the tears come anyway.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. It’s not directed at any one person.
“Okay, we need to calm down. Bella just had a baby and that baby is getting a blood transfusion as we speak. All of this can be dealt with later. We need to focus on the baby right now,” Hayley begs.
“I gotta get out of here,” Tristan huffs and walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
“Bella, can I talk to you alone, please?” Marco asks.
“Over my dead fucking body!” my dad roars.
“Cooper, let’s give them a few minutes,” my mom says, pushing him toward the door.
“What? No! He had sex with my little girl and knocked her up. He’s never going to be alone with her again.”
“Coop, Bella is almost twenty-one years old. She’s
not a little girl. Let’s go.”
“We’ll give you guys a few minutes,” Caleb says, and a few seconds later the room is empty except for Marco and me.
We both stay silent for a few minutes, neither of us having any idea how to start this conversation. Finally, Marco breaks the silence. “She’s beautiful.”
“You saw her?” I know he came in just before she was taken out, but I didn’t think he was able to get a good look at her.
“My mom sent me a picture. She looks just like Chloe as a baby.”
“I was too young to remember what Chloe looked like, but she definitely looks all yours.” I shake my head. “Funny how I carried her for nine months and she comes out looking just like you.”
Marco chuckles. “What’s her name?” I guess we’re going to ignore the important shit for right now.
“I haven’t named her yet. I was scared to say her name… afraid people would put two and two together.”
“What do you mean?” He has a seat in the chair next to my bed.
“I wanted her to have a piece of you. So, I wanted to name her Micaela, after your last name. I remembered one time when we were talking, you said you loved your last name because it represented the best part about you…”
“Hayley and Caleb,” Marco finishes, his eyes filled with unshed tears. “Even after everything I said and did, you were still going to name her after me?”
“Of course, she’s the best part of the both of us. I wanted to remember the good in you, the you before the drugs.”
Marco comes around to the side of the bed and takes my hand in his. “I’m so sorry, Belles. I never should have said the shit I said. I was in a bad place and I wasn’t thinking.”
“I know, but it still hurt. You broke me, Marco.”
“What do we do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to be a part of this baby’s life. I know you and Tristan are together, but maybe we can work something out, some way I can be there as well. I know it’s going to take time to figure it all out, but I’m here now.”
“Tristan and I—” The door swings open, cutting me off, and in comes the nurse, the doctor, and the baby.
“Here she is.” The nurse wheels the baby in and then hands her to me. “We had to give her a small bottle of sugar water during the transfusion, but you can breastfeed now. The doctor will explain everything to you.”
I take my baby in my arms and look her over. Her eyes are open wide, staring at me, her lips making a sucking motion. Not caring about anybody else being in the room, I pull my nursing gown down and latch her on the way the lactation specialist showed me, then pull the light blanket over her so she can eat in peace.
I look up and see Marco staring at me with a look of… awe? I’m not sure.
“The blood transfusion went through without any complications,” the doctor says. “Normally the IV is taken out, but because she is a baby, we’ve taped it up and are keeping it in in case she needs anything. We ran her blood and her red blood cell count is up.”
“Is there anything I need to do for her?” I ask.
“You’re breastfeeding and that will help with the anemia. We’re going to monitor her for the next twenty-four hours. If we need to, we’ll put her under the UV lights. To prevent jaundice, you will want to expose her to the sun light. Have her sleep near a window, take her for walks.”
“Okay, thank you.” I peek inside the blanket to make sure my daughter is breathing and eating okay. I have a feeling I’m going to be hovering over her for the next several weeks—maybe months—making sure she’s okay.
“I’ll be by later to check on her.” The doctor and nurse both excuse themselves and I lift my daughter up over my shoulder to burp her.
“Can I hold her?” Marco asks.
“Not on your damn life.” We both look over and see Tristan stalking in. “You think because you suddenly show up, you’re just going to have access to her? That’s not happening.”
Tristan walks over and stands next to me. I latch the baby onto my other breast and cover her with the blanket.
“You can’t keep me from my kid,” Marco says.
“The kid you told Bella to abort?” Tristan scoffs.
“I didn’t know she was mine.”
“That may be true,” I say, “but you looked right at the blonde you were snorting coke with and told her if she ever got knocked up she better be ready to have an abortion.”
I hear a gasp from the door and see Hayley and Caleb as well as my parents all standing in the doorway.
“You did not say that, Marco. Please tell me you didn’t.” Hayley has her hand over her heart. I didn’t mean for them to hear that.
“I was fucked up. I can’t take it back, and I’m not trying to make excuses, but I wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t high. I know I need to take responsibility for the shit I said and did while high and I have every intention to. But the problem with words is, I can’t take them back. I can only try to make it right,” Marco pleads.
“You told me plenty of times you didn’t want to have kids, Marco. You told me you didn’t want kids because according to you, your bloodlines are tainted, and you weren’t high when you said that,” I point out.
“I know that! I know what I said”–Marco rubs his face with his hands, clearly frustrated–“But that was before we created a baby.”
“I need some time,” I say. “I need to focus on Micaela. Right now, she’s all that matters.”
“Micaela?” Tristan questions.
“Yes, her name is Micaela. Spelled M-I-C-A-E-L-A.”
“You’re naming the baby after the guy who said he didn’t want her?” Tristan looks at me incredulously.
“Look, why don’t we take a step back?” my mom suggests. “Emotions are running high. We don’t want to say things we can’t take back. Marco and Tristan, why don’t you both go home for a little bit. Let’s give Bella some time with Micaela. She’ll be discharged in less than forty-eight hours and we’ll sort this all out then.”
Both guys nod in understanding and walk to the door not daring to argue with my mom. Hayley comes over and gives me a kiss on my forehead. “I think her name is beautiful.”
Caleb gives me a small smile before they both leave.
“Bella, for what it’s worth, I agree with Hayley. I think it’s a beautiful name,” my mom says.
“Thank you.”
My dad doesn’t comment on the name. He simply says, “You’re moving home.”
“What?” I lift Micaela up and burp her once more.
“You’re moving home.”
I place Micaela back in her bassinet and make sure she’s wrapped up tightly before I say, “That’s a decision I’ll have to make.”
Chapter Twenty
Marco
My parents, Tristan, and I step onto the elevator together, the tension in the small enclosed space so thick you could cut it with a knife. Speaking of a knife, it’s a damn good thing weapons aren’t allowed in the hospital because Tristan is glaring at me like he wants to stab me. When I open my mouth to say something to him, my dad shakes his head, so I close my mouth. I can’t even imagine how Tristan is feeling right now, and I don’t blame him for being pissed at me for hurting Bella and at Bella for hurting him. This entire situation is a goddamn cluster-fuck of epic proportions.
We get to the first-floor and Tristan walks away without saying a word.
“Now wasn’t the time,” my dad says. “That man spent the last nine months taking responsibility for a baby he knew wasn’t his just for Bella. You need to respect that.”
“I do respect it, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to have another man raise my baby.”
“It was obvious from the get-go Bella and Tristan weren’t really together,” my mom says. “But one day she will be with someone and you will have to accept that.”
The thought of Bella being with someone else, loving someone else, kissing someone else, having sex with someon
e else, has my fists clenching.
“What’s going through that head of yours?” My dad nods toward my tightened fists.
“Bella and Micaela are mine.”
My dad laughs. “Well then you better get to groveling because I guaran-fucking-tee she wouldn’t agree with that statement.”
I know he’s right. I have my work cut out for me, but I’m not giving up. I’m the one who fucked this all up and now I’m going to make things right.
“What time is it?” I ask.
My mom looks at her watch. “A little after two. Why?”
“We need to go to the baby store. I need to get my condo baby ready. Then I need to go to a meeting.”
My parents give each other a look. “You don’t think maybe you’re jumping the gun, Son?”
“My goal is to have both those girls under my roof, but regardless, Micaela will eventually be under my roof. I’ve messed up, but Bella’s not the type of person to keep her from me.”
And I truly believe that. Bella is one of the best people I know. On top of that, she grew up for the first four years without her dad in her life, and I know she wouldn’t purposely do that to the father of her child.
“Okay then, we have some baby stuff to buy, but Marco, you need to give Bella some time. Don’t push her, because if you do, you just might push her too hard.”
My parents and I spend the afternoon shopping for all things baby. The store says they can have it delivered tomorrow and have it all set up. I never realized all the shit babies need. My mom never had half that shit for my sister Chloe. It makes me sad to think about how much she was truly neglected, and makes me that much more thankful to Kayla and Bentley for adopting her.
Afterward, my parents go back to my place to relax and shower while I attend my first narcotics anonymous meeting. It’s held in a church, and I spot my sponsor right away. I met him a few times while at the facility. I’m nervous about being here. I know everyone here has been through their own shit, so they won’t be judging me, but sitting here makes it all too real. For the rest of my life, I’ll be a recovering addict. I’ll have to work every day to make sure drugs are never part of my life again.
