Regretting Gabriel

by Brooks, Anna

  Gabriel sets the plate in front of me and grabs a bottle of water, then slides it across the counter.

  “Thanks.”

  As soon as I take a bite, he leans his elbows on the counter directly across from me. His gray eyes smooth like smoke as they bore into mine. I fight not to lean back because I don’t want him to know the power he has over me. “Why’d you ditch me tonight?”

  Luckily, I’m a slow chewer, so it gives me time to come up with an excuse because there’s no way in hell I’m going to tell him anything about my life. All it would take is him knowing my full name for him to figure it out, and I’m going to try with everything I have to make sure that doesn’t happen.

  I stare into his eyes. “Listen, this is sweet and all, but I get it. You’re being nice to me because Gia told you to be, and as much as I appreciate it, you don’t have to babysit me. I’m—”

  He grins, which pisses me off because it makes him even hotter, then he cuts me off. “Did you rehearse that while you were chewing?”

  My mouth falls open, and I try to close it to form my rebuttal, but nothing comes out. “That’s what I thought.” He lifts his chin and then murmurs cockily, “Finish your food, then come chill for a bit.”

  “I don’t want to chill. I want to go to sleep.”

  “Then go to sleep.”

  “I’m not sleeping with you.”

  He raises a brow. “Didn’t ask you to sleep with me, Cady.”

  God, he’s infuriatingly stubborn, and when his voice gets all growly like that, it makes me want to let him in… in more ways than one. And that’s a thought I’ve never had, at least not a real one. Fantasy, sure. Reality, never.

  I finish my sandwich, and when I’m done, I join him on the couch because let’s be honest; I want to cuddle with him. I want him to hold me and feel safe for the night again.

  He pulls me into his side where I rest my head on his chest, and his fingers sift through my hair. “Just relax, Cady.”

  I try, I really do. But this is Gabriel Hunter.

  So I’m going to play it his way. It’s only a matter of time before Gia gets home, and he’ll vanish to go back on the road. With his job, there’s no way I’ll have to worry about him staying around for long, so I’ll let him think I’m giving in.

  I relax into him, hoping he’ll just let me be, but he doesn’t. “You gonna tell me why you were crying?”

  “No.”

  His lips at the top of my head curl up before he slides them down and kisses my temple. It’s a simple touch, but the ramifications are complex and long lasting. I’ll never forget what the beauty of his gentleness feels like. “Okay, sugar. Just rest.”

  So that’s what I do because I don’t have it in me to fight anymore, plus, he’s comfy to cuddle up to. And it’s not until I wake up in the near pitch black that I realize I’d actually fallen asleep. The light above the stove is the only thing on, and it illuminates the space just enough to see the outline of shadows.

  Every memory and fear surfaces, crawling and poking at my skin until my entire body itches.

  My heart thunders, and I hold my breath, pushing away from him so quickly, I almost fall, but manage to land on my feet despite my wobbly legs. Gabriel stirs, and I continue not breathing, really needing God to do me this one favor and not let him wake up.

  I stare at the light, begging the rays to keep me from panicking, but at the same time realizing I’m panicking just because it’s dark. Not because I’m scared. Because Gabriel’s here, and in his arms, he makes me feel safe.

  I tiptoe backward as he settles back on the couch, grabbing the pillow and holding it to his chest. I don’t let it register how damn cute that is right now. I will later. When he sighs, I grab my purse, and as quietly as I can, I run to my apartment, where every light is still on.

  After engaging the locks, I roam past my machine, avoiding looking at the flashing number, but knowing that it’s ninety-nine. It’s always freaking ninety-nine.

  Gabriel

  I wake to the cackling of my phone and raise my arm to grab my cell off the end table. “What?” I grunt. I’d probably be more comfortable in an actual bed, but since the only option is my sister’s bed, there is no way in hell I’m sleeping in it. Her spare room is an office and has a treadmill.

  “Are you still sleeping?”

  “Uh, yeah.” I sit up. “What time is it anyway?”

  “Almost one by me, so noon. God, you’re lazy.”

  I don’t respond to that, and instead wait for her to say what she was calling for.

  “So listen, you’re at my apartment, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Can you stay there for a few hours?”

  “Sure. Why?”

  She sighs. “My boss wants me to stay out here and work in the New York office for a while. Like at least three months. I told him I’d do it as long as he’d bring my cats to me.”

  I run my fingers through my ratty hair and chuckle. “Okay.”

  “So he found a company that transports cats, and they’re going to be there to pick them up and drive them to me.”

  “Okay. Is he sending people to pack more clothes and stuff?”

  “No. He’s just buying me what I need.”

  My internal radar goes off, raising my suspicions. “You got something going on with your boss?”

  “No!”

  “Gianna.”

  “I don’t. But I am swamped, and I’ve gotta call Mom to tell her there’s no way I’ll be home for Christmas, so I’m gonna let you go.”

  I push to standing. “I’ll see her tonight.”

  “You’re going home?” When she says that, she means our childhood home.

  “Fuck no. We’re meeting for dinner.”

  “Oh. Well, that’s good. She’ll be happy to see you.”

  “I’ll text you when they come and get your cats.”

  “Okay, thank you. Love you, bye!”

  She hangs up before I can reply, and before the people for her cats get here, I take a quick shower. I’m drying my hair with a towel when there’s a knock, so I pull a shirt over my head. Looking through the peephole, I see an older woman with two cat carriers.

  As soon as I open the door, I know she knows who I am. “Oh my God.” She smiles. “You’re from Reason to Ruin.”

  I slip into rock star mode and lean against the jamb. “I am.”

  “Am I at the right place?”

  With perfect timing, the cats meow at my feet. “Yep, this is my sister’s apartment. Come on in.”

  As soon as she enters, she sets the crates down. “I just have to tell you how much I love your music.” She bites her lip. “I know I’m not your typical fan, since I’m in my fifties and everything—”

  “Age doesn’t matter when it comes to music.”

  “Yeah. But still. I’ve never been to a concert because I’m too scared to go by myself, but I own every album, and I’ve downloaded every song. I know you probably hear stuff like this all the time, but your music really helped me get through a rough time.” Her eyes well with tears, and I tilt my head, giving her my undivided attention. “I lost my husband about ten years ago, right when your first album came out. We were married for more than half my life. I was grateful for the time I had him but so mad at the time I lost out on. I can’t describe how much…” She sniffles. “It just helped a lot. Please know that you reach far more people than you probably realize, and beyond all the noise and lights, there are people sitting in a dark closet silently crying but deciding not to end their life because your music saved them.”

  I’m almost speechless. “Thank you. That means a lot, and we’re so grateful for your support. I’m sorry about your husband and am honored that our music meant that much to you.”

  The black cat scratches at her leg, and she laughs. “Well, let’s get these guys to New York.” She expertly loads them up, and after I sign some papers and take a selfie with her and give her an autograph, I text my sister to let her
know the children are on their way.

  I lie around until it’s time to meet my mom and arrive at the restaurant only seconds before her. “It’s good to see you, son.” My mom pulls my head down and kisses my cheek. “Missed you.”

  I wrap my arms around her and squeeze, the familiar scent of home penetrating my senses and causing a calm that silences the anxiousness I always feel when I’m home.

  “Missed you, too, Ma.”

  “So…” She sits in the booth across from me. “Tell me what’s new. How’s the band? What have I missed?”

  I catch her up on everything and as much as I want to give her good news that I may have finally found an amazing girl, I don’t tell her about Cady. She’s so timid, and I don’t want to push things too fast with her, so even though I can’t get her off my mind, I keep her to myself.

  Then Mom does the same with me, telling me about the latest book she and her book club read and how her hairdresser ruined her hair last time. I manage to listen when she talks about my father even though his name makes my ears bleed. It’s an enjoyable dinner, and I hug her when we reach her car. “Please think about Christmas,” she begs.

  “I will.”

  “Love you, Gabriel.”

  “Love you too, Ma.” She’s just pulling away when I look up and happen to see Cady walking down the street. Even from a distance wearing a thick coat and a beanie, she’s gorgeous. I call her name, but she doesn’t hear me, so I jog out of the parking lot, and when I reach her, I gently touch her arm.

  She screams and flails out of my grip, and I grab her before she falls. “Jesus. You scared the shit outta me.” I smirk at how her dainty little self looks all pissed off, and she shoots daggers at me. “Not funny.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. What are you doing?”

  “Going home.”

  My shoulders straighten, and I look around, not liking the fact that she’s alone on a darkening street. “Is your car broken?”

  “My car? I do—”

  “Someone you work with can’t give you a ride home?”

  She shakes her head. “It’s just me for the most part. Just like before I took over, it was just Rosie. Sometimes there are helpers but very rarely.”

  “Okay, then why are you walking? It’s freezing.”

  “I don’t have a car.”

  My temper is short, always has been. And it’s rising right now as I think of this woman traveling by foot alone, being vulnerable to not only the weather but all the sick bastards out there who prey on innocent and unsuspecting women. “Why the hell not?”

  She shrugs, but a shadow crosses her face. “I don’t need one.”

  “So you just… walk?”

  Her forehead gets a few small wrinkles on it when she narrows her eyes. “Um, yes. Or I get a cab.”

  And that makes it even worse. Alone in a vehicle with a man she doesn’t fucking know. Hell no. I’m so lost in my anger and defensiveness for her that I don’t realize she’s already stepping away. She gets a few feet ahead of me before I catch up. “I’ll give you a ride.”

  “No, thanks.”

  “It’s just a ride, Cady.”

  “It’s fine, it’s not far. Thanks, but no.”

  It hits me now. I think she’s the first girl who’s ever said no to me, and I like it. My jaw goes slack, and my limbs loosen at the fuzziness overtaking my body. “I’ll walk with you then.”

  “Why? So you can just trek back to get your car?”

  Shrugging, I take her hand, and she hesitates before having no choice but to follow me. I should let her go when she gets next to me, but instead, I link our fingers together and love that she allows me to. “So Gianna’s staying in New York for a couple of months now.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “Don’t know. Something about her job. They sent someone to come and get her cats to transport them there today, but she said her boss is just buying her anything else she might need.”

  She raises a brow suspiciously.

  “See, I thought the same thing.”

  “What?”

  “You made that face, like it’s weird, right? That he wants her out there, and how last minute it was, and how he’ll just throw money away on buying her her every heart’s desire.”

  She shrugs, and even though her coat is puffy, I see the slight gesture. “I don’t really know; I only know that she was always upset at how much she had to work and angry that her boss was a dick who would give her that much work. He just expected that she’d be at his beck and call, so I guess what I find weird is that she’s going to put up with that out in New York, where she’s essentially alone.”

  “When you say he was a dick to her, you mean…?” ‘Cause if it’s worse than what I’m thinking, my ass’ll be on a plane by midnight to hand somebody his for fuckin’ with my sister.

  “Workload, mainly. He’d call her even when she was home and expect her to pull up files and look at things on her phone. Left before she did every night, made her go get him coffee even when he just handed her a stack of work five minutes before. Stuff like that. Just an asshole to work for.”

  “Okay good.” That I can handle. My sister’s a big girl, not a pushover, so I have no doubt that she can take care of herself. And regarding her career, I would never get involved unless I thought the situation warranted it, and this just sounds like she has a prick for a boss; but I’m definitely going to try to find out more to make sure she’s okay.

  “So are you going back to your place then?” Cady asks almost sheepishly. If I’m not mistaken, there’s a little bit of disappointment in her voice. Might just be wishful thinking on my part, but I’ll take it.

  We stop at the corner, and I unclasp our fingers and slide my hand around her waist, cupping her hip and holding her next to me, away from the curb. “I can’t go back until the new year.”

  “Why?”

  “I rented out my place since I thought I was going to be at Gianna’s.”

  Her head tilts back, and I look down at her. “You rented it?”

  “Yeah. Since it’s got a private beach and is on the lake away from any other homes, there’s a long waiting list for it. I usually rent it while I’m, uh, traveling for work, which is a lot. No sense in me having a house that I’m paying for that’s not lived in.”

  The light turns green, and she looks down at her feet as she steps down from the curb. “Doesn’t that weird you out that strange people are in your house?”

  “No. I don’t have anything in it, really.”

  “But what about weirdos who could put like… cameras in the vents and stuff?” She shivers and shakes her head.

  “I think you read too many stories. People rent it as a vacation home. And if someone put in a camera, the only thing they’d ever see is me sleeping, so they’re probably disappointed.”

  “I don’t know about that. There are some freaks out there who get off on watching people sleep.”

  I chuckle a little bit, loving the easy conversation. “Probably.” Because hand to God, I could watch her sleep for hours, and if that makes me a freak, then so be it.

  We get to the apartment building, and when we reach her door, she turns. “Well, thanks for bringing me home.”

  “I’d say you’re welcome, but you’re not inside yet.”

  She tucks some hair behind her ear and nibbles on the inside of her cheek. “I think I can manage to get inside safely.”

  “I want to be sure.”

  Her head tilts, hair falling again, and I reach up and tuck it away. “Gabriel.” She breathes my name.

  “Cady,” I whisper back. “Open the door, sugar.”

  “Why?”

  I don’t think I can be any more subtle, so I’ll have to be a little more direct. I crowd her against her door, and her lips part. Then I lean down and place my palm flat on the wall next to her head. I cup her face and rub my thumb along her jawline, then tilt her head up. Her fingers press against her chest as her pulse increases, an
d I step in even farther, no longer hiding the fact that she turns me way the fuck on when my stiff cock rubs against her belly. “Because I need to come inside.”

  My eyes don’t leave her nervous ones, and the air around us thickens as she just stares at me and doesn’t say a peep. Her lashes lower, and when she raises them again, she isn’t looking at me anymore. Instead, she’s looking over my shoulder. I can practically see her weighing the options, and as difficult as it is, I let her take her time.

  I know I’m gonna have to go slow with her, but I don’t mind. In fact, I’m looking forward to it.

  “Okay.” She connects with me again, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “Thank you, baby.”

  Her eyes flash, and I feel it all the way down my spine, anticipating that lustful look while she’s beneath me. Or on top of me. Or reflected in a mirror.

  She clears her throat and starts to turn around, so I step back and give her some space. I follow her in and lock the door behind me. “I’m just going to change really quick. Help yourself to whatever.”

  “Did you eat dinner yet?”

  “No. I’ll pop something in the microwave in a minute, or we can toss in a frozen pizza.”

  “I can make you something. What do you want?”

  She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. Just grab a beer and I’ll be right back.” She turns around and tells me with no words that she’s ending that conversation, which strikes me as nothing but good. It means she’s getting more comfortable around me if she’s starting to boss me around.

  I’m surprised to find several kinds of beer in her fridge and smile when I get an idea. I grab a Lite and open and close her cupboards but don’t find what I’m looking for.

  “What are you looking for?”

  “Shot glasses.”

  “Why?”

  I turn around and nearly drop my beer. She’s wearing a pair of short ass shorts and a tight tank top. Jesus, she’s amazing. Her body is flawless. Her face is now makeup free, and her natural beauty is astonishing. Green eyes sparkle, and her auburn hair cascades around her shoulders and falls in waves down her back.