A Sword in the Sun

by Shannon Page

  I smiled up at her, holding my daughter. She sucked gently, with none of the biting or struggling that the healers had warned me about. “I guess instinct is strong,” I said.

  “There’s…something else a bit odd,” Jeremy said to Leonora.

  I knew what it was, and I just didn’t care anymore. I had my baby, and I was feeding her. Everything else could go hang. I closed my eyes and gave myself over to enjoying the sensation.

  “What is it?” Leonora asked him, quietly.

  “The child is quiet now, even happy,” he said. Which was obvious enough. “But when I took her to my father, she would not let him hold her.”

  “What do you mean, would not let him?” Leonora asked. “She’s a newborn.”

  I opened my eyes, now intrigued.

  Jeremy went on. “She struggled and cried out, and I…I couldn’t hand her over. Nora, Manka, and Sebastian all held her briefly, but she would not abide my father. It was so clear that she didn’t want him to touch her.” He looked at me. “It was as though I was physically prevented from doing so. It is strange, don’t you think?”

  Clearly my daughter had absorbed my feelings for Gregorio, even if she wasn’t communicating with me about them—or anything. Well, not in mind-messages, anyway. “I guess,” I said, trying to look innocent and as confused as they were. “Maybe she was just hungry and knew he wasn’t the one to feed her.” I glanced down at her, happily suckling away. “Why did he need to see her so soon anyway?”

  Of course, I knew the answer to that too, but as long as I was playing dumb…

  “He was concerned about her health,” Jeremy said. I could see that he believed it. “With the weird things going on with essence in the community, he’s always been worried that, even though the healers have said she was developing just fine, they might have missed something.” He gave me a small, proud smile. “She is a very important child. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect.”

  I smiled back at him. I could see how happy he was to have a daughter…and I could see that he still believed she was his daughter. Even though he’d noted her red hair—he’d clearly dismissed it. Which was a relief. “I think she is perfect, even if she didn’t want to be held by an old warlock.”

  Her suckling was winding down; I could feel her drifting off to sleep. It reminded me how exhausted I was too. We could both doze off like this, joined so intimately, cradled together…

  “We should leave her now,” Leonora whispered to Jeremy. “Let them both sleep.”

  Sounded like a great idea to me.

  All three of us slept, in fact: me, my baby, and my cat.

  We awoke sometime later. It was starting to get light outside. The party downstairs, which some part of me knew had raged through the night, was over; perhaps it was the silence that woke me.

  Baby Rose stirred in my arms and gave a soft little coo. I gazed at her. She was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen in my entire life. Tiny, yet perfectly formed. Rosebud lips. Dark eyes, that already seemed to focus on what she was looking at. Little shell ears, under coppery red hair. And her fingers! Oh, newborn fingers, I could not believe how precious…

  I took her little hand in my index finger. She held on, wrapping her tiny, tiny hand around my finger. “Look at you!” I whispered, unable to keep from grinning. “Such a strong girl!”

  She blinked up at me and unpeeled her fingers before wrapping them around my middle finger. The one with Gregorio’s golden ring.

  The moment her finger touched the ring, she opened her mouth and drooled a little, lolling her eyes up at me. “Maaa,” she might have said. She made a sound, anyway.

  The ring grew heavy, loosened, and fell off my hand.

  “Maaaaaaaa,” Rosemary said again, adding more drool as she did. She might have pointed at the ring on the sheets, or maybe she was pointing at Elnor? In any event, my cat was up and sniffing at the ring.

  And I was frozen with shock. “What…did you know…how did you…” I stammered. As if she was going to answer me.

  Did my daughter just use magic to take Gregorio’s terrible leash off me? Something I’d tried so hard to do myself that I basically blew my own golem apart?

  No. It couldn’t be. As a half-human, she would be less powerful than me, not more. No, it was far more likely that whatever spell or dark magic he’d used to attach it to me was set to release after Rose was born. For whatever reason—I knew he’d wanted to keep tabs on me while I was pregnant.

  Of course, he undoubtedly wanted to keep tabs on me now too. I wondered what new indignity he would come up with.

  My heart pounded as my magic explored the boundaries of my own body. Yes: my magic was entirely my own now, roaming pure and free through my system. Blessed Mother, it was good to be free of the cursed thing.

  Between that and having the baby outside me instead of inside me, I was freer than I’d been in many months.

  Elnor stopped sniffing at the ring and batted it with her paw, knocking it to the floor. It made a surprisingly loud clunk as it hit the hardwood and rolled off into a corner.

  “Good job, kitty,” I said, reaching down and petting her.

  She purred and rubbed against my side.

  Rosemary was reaching for my breast again, so I helped her latch on, showing her to the other one this time. Her nursing soothed me as it had last night, and I slowly calmed down. Yes, it had to have been a coincidence that she’d touched the ring just before it released.

  I touched her soft hair as she nursed. It was a dark copper-red, a mixture of my own dark brown and Raymond’s ruddy blond. I knew baby hair often fell out, but for now, it was gorgeous. It sat quietly on her head, not yet showing any witchly movement. My daughter and I passed another delightful few minutes nursing before I realized she’d fallen asleep again.

  Once again, an excellent idea.

  The next time I woke up, it was full daylight, strong autumn sun slanting in through my window.

  Someone was approaching. I felt the brush of magical intention, of polite query.

  “Leonora?” I called out, softly. “Is that you?”

  She opened the door and stepped into my room. “I thought I felt you awaken. Have you rested well?”

  “We all have,” I told her. “I’m finally thinking I might want something to eat.”

  She chuckled. “Yes, you must replenish your stores. That was not the easiest birth, Calendula, and at an unexpected moment.”

  “Actually, I feel pretty good.”

  “Have you left your bed yet?”

  “No,” I admitted.

  She smiled at me. “As I thought. I’ll have some food brought up, and then you should sleep again, if you can.” She put a gentle hand on my forehead once more, testing my essence. I relaxed under her touch, willing my system to open to her inquiry. “You are doing surprisingly well,” she said as she took her hand away.

  I wanted to say something like Well of course, I am mighty and powerful, but, on second thought, I was pretty wiped out.

  She left, and a few minutes later, Sirianna came up with a plate of scrambled eggs mixed with bits of sausage, and a steaming-hot biscuit beside it.

  “Ooh, you are the best witch on the entire planet,” I said to her, scooting over to make room for her to sit on the small bed beside me.

  She set the plate on my nightstand; I took a big forkful. It was delicious.

  “You’re looking marvelous,” Siri said, then gazed shyly down at Rosemary. “And so is she.”

  My baby was awake, just looking around the room. Her gaze landed on Sirianna; her eyes seemed to follow my coven sister’s wild hair as it fluttered about.

  “Do you want to hold her?” I asked.

  “Oh! Could I?”

  “Of course.” I handed Rose over, wondering if she would object as she apparently had to Gregorio. But she let Sirianna take her without complaint, even maybe reached for her hair.

  “Such a sweetling,” Siri cooed, rocking Rosemary slightly and
grinning at me. “The sweetest baby ever in the whole wide world!”

  “That is correct.”

  “And I am the sister who got to hold her first!” Sirianna giggled, giving me a mischievous grin.

  “Anyone can come in, if they want,” I told her. “Has Leonora been keeping the house away?”

  She rolled her eyes. “What do you think? ‘Calendula needs her rest. You will have years in which to hold the baby.’”

  “Oh, honestly,” I said. “I mean, it’s nice to be taken care of, but I’m just fine.” I took another bite of the eggs, followed by some of the biscuit. “This is amazing, by the way.”

  “Thanks.” She rocked the baby. “Protein and carbs, and strengthening herbs from the garden. Including rosemary, of course.”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  “Do you want some tea?” she asked.

  I started to say no, but then realized I didn’t have to. “Hey, I can have pennyroyal again, can’t I?”

  Sirianna frowned. “I don’t know. Is it safe if you’re nursing?”

  My heart, so elated for such a brief moment, sank again. “I don’t know either. I’m going to ask Manka.” I paused and sent a silent inquiry to the healer. “Because I am one thousand percent sick of chamomile tea, I tell you what.”

  Siri gave me a sympathetic look. “I don’t blame you.” She glanced at my rapidly emptying plate. “Do you want some more food?”

  “Not just yet,” I said, around a mouthful. “Let’s see how this settles.” I swallowed and set the fork down. “It’s weird to have so much more room in my stomach again all of a sudden.”

  My sister gave me a mock-serious look. “You do understand why you have the room now, right?”

  I just smiled back at her, suddenly too exhausted to go through our usual bantering game. “Yeah. You’re holding her.”

  Then we sat there for a few minutes just giving goofy grins to my daughter.

  Manka’s voice floated into my head. Yes, you can reintroduce pennyroyal to your diet, as long as you don’t overdo it.

  What’s overdoing? I asked.

  Two cups a day should be fine.

  “Manka says I can have pennyroyal tea!” I blurted out, startling Sirianna.

  But not Rosemary. What a calm, peaceful baby. I was the luckiest mother in the world.

  The first full day of my baby’s life in the world outside my body passed peacefully, happily. All my coven sisters, followed by all the witchlet students, came by to see us, in ones and twos so as to avoid crowding my tiny room and overwhelming us. (Well, almost all the witchlet students…my heart panged to think how Gracie would have loved holding the baby.) My visitors brought me things to eat, and (yes!) exactly two cups of pennyroyal tea.

  Wow did that tea taste good.

  In between visits, we all dozed, or I nursed Rosemary.

  “Let’s have a tutorial about diapers,” Leonora said in the late morning, when she was the only visitor in the room.

  “Oh, goody,” I said. But even that, I found interesting, and not yucky at all. Every single thing about my daughter was charming, and precious, and perfect.

  No, of course I wasn’t biased. What mother is?

  After I’d successfully changed my daughter, I asked my coven mother, “Is Jeremy around?” During what little alone time I’d had, I’d realized I needed to act like I believed he was Rose’s father and might want to see her more than once.

  “No, he left when we reestablished the house wards after last night’s gathering. It’s less comfortable for warlocks here with them active, you know.”

  “Oh.” I hadn’t realized they’d been reset, but now that I opened my awareness to it, it was obvious. Goodness, I had been rather out of it, hadn’t I?

  Leonora chuckled at the look on my face. “And this is why we have wards: to protect those of us whose vigilance is compromised, for whatever reason.”

  “Right.” Something in the tone of her voice made me look up at her more closely, though. “I do have wards at my house, you know.”

  “I know you do, and that you built them with Jeremiah Andromedus,” she said mildly. “But I hope you don’t think you’re in any condition to return to solitary living at the moment.”

  “No, not right now.” I’m saying nothing about tomorrow, I added, to myself.

  I didn’t feel any particular urgency about it, though. I had what I needed right here. Well, almost.

  “I suppose my dad isn’t around either, then,” I asked her. “Or my mom?”

  She relaxed a little. “No, no one is here but those who live here. Would you like me to invite your birth parents to come see the baby?”

  I yawned, settling Rosemary more comfortably in my arms. For such a small thing, she could get kind of heavy after a while. “Not right now. Maybe I’ll nap a little more. I’ll call to them later.”

  “Very well.”

  I didn’t ask where Gregorio was. He could sit and spin for all I cared. And I hadn’t even looked for the ring that Elnor had knocked onto the floor. Good riddance.

  It’s funny that she doesn’t cry, I thought, late that first day. Jeremy had told me that she’d cried when he’d tried to hand her to his father. Or had he said that, exactly? Maybe he’d said “cried out”? But she was nearly twenty-four hours old now, and she hadn’t squalled or complained or fussed or done anything negative yet.

  She just seemed so content and relaxed. Maybe she had nothing to cry about. All her needs were being met—I fed her when she was hungry and changed her when she was wet or messy (not that the messes were much of anything, at least so far; just a little tar-like). We slept when we were tired. There was no need to alert me to anything, when I was right here with her.

  By now I’d managed to get out of bed, though I hadn’t felt up to leaving the room yet. We spent some time standing before my little window, looking out into the front garden. My room would have had a view of the street, if not for the heavy growth of trees and vines. I’d never spent much time looking out this window. It was very pretty, I realized.

  Still didn’t make me want to move back here, though. I did miss my grand and gracious house, with its three floors of space…and its privacy.

  All in good time.

  I finally sent a message through the æther to my birth parents…well, to my dad. I was still feeling awkward and confused about my mom’s feelings. Maybe I’d get a chance to feel him out, see if he could tell me any more clearly what was going on with her.

  Hey, do you guys want to meet your granddaughter? I asked him.

  Of course we do, my dear, he answered at once. Leonora has told us you are both resting, however. We don’t want to tire you out.

  I’m feeling pretty good, I said. But it was already getting dark again. It was All Saint’s Day: not an important witchkind holiday, to put it mildly; more a day when most folks were getting over whatever they had done on Samhain the night before. Maybe you guys can come visit tomorrow? I asked.

  We would like that very much. Shall we send word in the morning, to make sure you are feeling up to it?

  Sounds like a plan. And then, before I could chicken out, I added, How’s Mom doing? I heard she left the coven house party early.

  Was there a slight pause? She is quite well, Dad answered, and she very much looks forward to seeing you, and the child.

  Okay good.

  He dropped the link, after sending a little fillip of love down the channel.

  Was it true, what Leonora had said? Was Mom just feeling wistful about babies?

  I settled back into the bed. Rose made little happy sounds.

  My daughter was all right, wasn’t she? I mean, there was nothing wrong with her. Right? Just as some babies were colicky and cried all the time, there had to be other babies who were just mild and content.

  Right?

  I told myself not to worry about it. I told myself that I could ask my elders about it, if she didn’t start fussing sometime soon. I told myself I was lucky
to have such an easy, happy baby.

  Right?

  My birth parents declined to visit the next morning. We are still very much looking forward to seeing you both, Dad sent me, but your mother and I have realized that we both would rather visit you in your home. I understand you will be returning there in a day or two?

  That’s my plan, yes, I answered, trying to stifle my disappointment. I guessed I understood it—the same reason all warlocks didn’t want to come over—but seriously? Their first grandchild, and he couldn’t bring himself to fortify with a little charm or something? Or I’d bet Leonora would be willing to take down the wards for their visit, if I asked.

  No matter.

  I’ll let you know when I get home, I added.

  Please do. We both send our love.

  My feelings got a little more bruised an hour later when Sebastian Fallon knocked on my door. “Hey, you look great!” he said, when I invited him in.

  “Thanks. Grab a chair, any chair,” I joked, pointing at the only one.

  He sat beside the bed, grinning at me—the wards were clearly giving him no trouble—and the little one in my arms. I handed her over, since he so obviously wanted to hold her.

  She snuggled into his arms. He held her like she was a fragile piece of Ming china. “Wow. She’s so tiny, and so perfect.”

  “I know, right?” My heart filled with pride and joy, yet again.

  I watched as Sebastian looked carefully at her, clearly using his magical vision to check out her inner health, her system. Was he going to notice what was strange about her? If he did, he didn’t let on; he just smiled and looked up at me. “So perfectly healthy too. Thank you so much for letting me be here for the birth, even though I didn’t help much.”

  “There wasn’t much for anyone but me to do,” I said. “Well, and her.”

  “True.” He couldn’t stop grinning. “It was amazing to be here, though.” He rocked Rosemary gently, humming under his breath at her. She seemed to be gazing up at him, almost as if she was focusing, as if she was seeing him. What a precious thing she was. She blew a little bubble and made a tiny sound, and reached a fist up, as if wondering where his hair was—unlike some warlocks, he kept it closely trimmed.