by Kat Mizera
She got on behind him and he smiled as she pressed up against his back, her arms sliding around his waist.
“You ready?” he called over his shoulder. Her response was to squeeze her arms tighter and put her head between his shoulder blades. He started the engine and pulled onto the street.
Lexi closed her eyes as the wind whipped across both of them. Zaan picked up speed once they got on I-15 and she lost herself in his strong body, the powerful machine beneath her and the sun on her skin. She’d had sunscreen on at Cody’s house—her stepmother was militant about it—but right now she couldn’t have cared less. For the first time in two years she felt free. The surgeries, treatments and horrible side effects were suddenly far away, leaving her with a renewed sense of vitality. The doctors had told her it would come, but this was the first time she’d felt it, and she knew the man in front of her had as much to do with it as the healing of her body.
They rode for nearly an hour before he slowed and she felt a sense of loss as they exited the highway and turned down a dirt road. When he finally stopped, he motioned for her to get off and parked the bike. It appeared as if they were in the middle of the nowhere but there was actually a small trail and trees off in the distance. He locked up their helmets, pulled a blanket out one of the saddle bags and grasped her hand.
“It’s not far,” he said, guiding her to the trail and leading her away from the main road.
“I never thought the desert would have mountains too,” she said, following.
“Me either,” he admitted. “But I spent time exploring the area when I got my motorcycle last summer so I found some cool spots. I had to stop riding when hockey season started, but Zakk told me about a few places. We went riding last weekend and he showed me this place.”
They came to clearing by a small creek and he let go of her hand, spreading out the blanket. He kicked off his sneakers and sank down, looking up at her.
“This is where I come to decompress. Even in the winter, when it was mild, I’d come up here with my SUV to get away from everything.”
Lexi nodded, kicking off her shoes and sinking down next to him, resting her forearms on her knees. “Was your rookie season really stressful?”
“You have no idea.” He looked away, staring off at the mountain range in the distance. “So much pressure from everyone… my dad, the coaches, management, even the fucking fans.”
“Is that why they made you live with Cody and Suze?”
He nodded. “It’s pretty standard at my age. They want to make sure I stayed out of trouble, not spending every dime I made, navigating the women…” His voice trailed off and he shot her a grin. “I mean, I’d dated, but I had no idea what this—the NHL—was going to be like. I figured women would be everywhere, but wow… I never expected to randomly get my junk grabbed or women lifting their shirts and stuff. I’m not a rock star.”
She listened quietly, her head cocked slightly, eyes never leaving his. She loved his voice, deep but not raspy, full of expression when he spoke. His eyes were so blue, she tried not to stare, but couldn’t seem to help it. She’d had a crush on him before, but after a few hours together, she liked him a lot. Part of her knew she was being silly—this was just a pity date—but she was enjoying herself too much to dwell on it.
“I guess I shouldn’t bitch,” he continued. “I’m doing the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do, making more money than anyone I know my age, and having the time of my life. I just wish…” His voice trailed off.
“What?” she asked softly, looking into his eyes.
“I wish there was someone who understood, you know? My parents are cool, but sometimes they act like it’s their career, instead of mine. The guys on the team are great, but the only guys that came straight to the NHL at eighteen are Toli and Tore. Toli’s the same age as my dad and Tore’s…” He just shrugged. “Well, he’s a lot wilder than I am.”
“You’re not wild?”
He shook his head. “Buying my Harley is the wildest thing I’ve done, and I couldn’t ride it from mid-September until two weeks ago. I’ve lived with Cody and Suze, which isn’t bad, but it was almost like having my parents with me. I mean, I didn’t have a curfew or anything, outside of team responsibilities, but I never had any privacy. Their kids are cute but were always wanting to hang out if I had any time off, and the rest of the time it was Cody, trying to show me the ropes.”
“Isn’t that good, though?” she asked. “My dad said a lot of guys your age that make the big leagues wind up getting into trouble, whether it’s drugs or women or blowing through all their money.”
“I get that, and mostly I don’t mind, but damn, I’m never alone. Yeah, I’m alone in my hotel room when we’re on the road, but by the time we get to the hotel, all I have time for is sleep… that’s why I come out here whenever I can sneak away for a few hours. Being with you right now is pretty fucking awesome. Thanks for coming with me.”
She smiled, dipping her head a little. “Thank you for getting me out of there after I made an epic fool of myself.”
“Nah, it was kind of the elephant in the room. I mean, everyone on the team knows you had breast cancer and that your breasts were removed, but you’re always wearing sweatshirts or extra-large T-shirts, and I think it just drew more attention to it. What you did was a little extreme, but also pretty brave. Even though no one ever said anything—and no one ever would cause the guys are great—they can’t help being curious.”
She sighed. “Just what I always wanted—a whole hockey team curious about what my deformed chest looks like.”
“Aw, don’t think of it that way.” He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers. “I didn’t think it was deformed… I think it’s a testament to your inner strength and will to live.”
“That’s beautiful,” she whispered, lifting her eyes to his. “No one’s ever said it quite that way.”
“Then it was about time,” he said, squeezing her hand.
3
Zaan wanted to kiss her but wasn’t sure if he should. He’d been with his share of women this season, but they’d been older, experienced hockey groupies who hadn’t been interested in anything emotional. It had been all about notches in their figurative bed posts, hooking up with a player in the NHL, and though he’d enjoyed the physical acts, it left him feeling overwhelmed. He loved sex—what guy didn’t?—but he was secure enough in his masculinity to admit he needed more than a revolving door of one-night stands.
By the same token, getting serious with someone was the last thing on his mind. Zakk had suggested a friend or two with benefits, women he liked and trusted that he could have sex with too. It sounded good in theory, but in practice it wasn’t something he could go looking for. It would have to happen gradually, and even then it would take someone special, so he wasn’t counting on it falling into his lap.
Instead, Lexi Rousseau had fallen into his lap and she was leaving in a week. The coolest girl he’d met in the whirlwind year since he’d been signed to the NHL, and he only had a week with her. It seemed unfair. And he still wasn’t sure whether or not he could kiss her. She seemed open to it, but she was his much older teammate’s daughter, so he had to be extra cautious. He considered himself a respectful guy, and women tended to make the first move these days, so he wasn’t used to taking the lead.
“I was thinking about kissing you,” he said finally, “but I don’t know what’s in your head. You know, if it’s cool.”
She looked away. “I know this is a pity date, so you don’t have to go that far. It’s okay—I’m happy just hanging out.”
“Pity date?” Zaan stared at her. “Are you serious right now?”
“Come on, you have your choice of girls… why would you want me?”
“Cause those girls don’t care about me, all they care about is saying they hooked up with a pro athlete or possibly making me and my million-dollar salary their baby daddy. You’re not like that.”
“How do you know?”
“Maybe I was playing hard to get,” she teased, a smile curving her pink lips.
“By taking off your top in front of your dad’s friends?” He started laughing and she did too, leaning into his side.
They sat like that for a while, somehow comfortable together, even when they weren’t talking. It was hot out, but the trees provided shade and the small creek running just a few feet away was soothing. Zaan kept her hand wrapped in his, thinking how natural it was to spend time with her.
“You must date a lot,” she said after a bit, as though she’d read his mind.
“Not really. I had a girlfriend in high school and while I was in the Juniors, but she knew we weren’t going to last once I came to Vegas, so we ended as friends over a year ago. I kept to myself some when the season started, making sure I focused on hockey, but around the holidays I cut loose a little, went out with some…girls.”
“And?” She cocked her head.
He shrugged. “Not comfortable with the abundance of meaningless sex. I guess I’m not enough of an asshole or something, because when I’m done, I can’t just get up, get dressed and walk out. If she spends the night, I hate the morning-after crap, where you can’t believe you slept with a stranger you aren’t that into.”
Lexi wrinkled her nose. “That sounds yucky.”
“You?” His eyes met hers.
She shook her head. “I was dating a guy before I got sick and we…” She flushed. “We had very, very bad first-time sex because I wanted to do it before my mastectomy.”
“First time for both of you?”
She nodded.
“That bad, huh?”
“Not bad like he hurt me, but bad as in awkward, uncomfortable and super quick on his part, which embarrassed him…” She snickered. “Honestly, he’s a nice guy—we still text once in a while—but it was a disaster and I had no interest in trying again in the middle of chemo and radiation.”
“Can’t say I blame you. Sex probably wasn’t what you needed while that was going on.”
“Not then, no.” She looked away again, though he could see a slight flush creep across her cheeks.
He was dying to ask if that meant sex was what she needed now, but it didn’t seem very gentlemanly and he was beginning to feel totally out of his element. Who was this seductive siren that had him so confused he was acting like a thirteen-year-old virgin instead of a nineteen-year-old who played professional sports?
“Wanna cool off?” he asked, abruptly getting to his feet and holding out his hands.
She eyed the creek warily but took his hands so he could help her up. “Um, sure.”
“We can kick water at each other,” he laughed, pulling her in and doing just that, since the water barely hit his ankles.
She kicked back, laughing at the minuscule drops that splashed his calves. A splash fest of epic proportions commenced, until their lower halves were both soaked and they were laughing so hard they could barely stand up.
“You win!” Zaan laughed, collapsing on the blanket and laying back, holding his stomach.
“That’s right,” Lexi giggled, following him. “You know when you’re beat!”
“I sure do.” Their faces were close together, her lips just inches from his, and he didn’t hesitate this time. He leaned forward until their mouths came together, but then waited for her response. Her eyes were closed and her lips parted slightly, so he pressed forward, gently sliding his tongue into her sweet opening. She was delicious, her mouth meeting his in perfect harmony, their bodies pressing closer. He wrapped one arm around her, holding her, deepening the kiss but not rushing. Their time together would be limited, so he wanted to savor every second.
One hand glided into her hair before he remembered it was a wig and he mentally winced when it slid out of place.
“Crap, sorry.” He looked into her eyes and saw the embarrassment there. “Why don’t you just take it off?” he asked softly.
She shook her head. “I look terrible with short hair.”
“Bet you don’t.” He didn’t pull it off, but tugged gently, enough to encourage her to let him keep going.
“Zaan…”
“I’ve seen your chest—short hair can’t be a big deal compared to that.”
She closed her eyes and nodded, giving unspoken permission for him to take off the wig. He pulled it off slowly and set it down before running his fingers through short, silky, dirty blond locks. They were matted against her head now after wearing the wig all day, but still soft against his hand.
“I hate it,” she whispered. “It’s taking so long to grow out and it’s uneven. It used to be full and healthy, and now it’s just lifeless and limp.”
“It’s soft, pretty, on the verge of blooming… just like you.”
Her eyes met his and she reached out to run her fingers along his face. “Who are you? Where do you get the beautiful words that constantly come out of your mouth?”
“Just a guy who believes in romance…” He paused, frowning. “Does that make me dorky?”
“No. It makes you awesome.” She leaned forward and this time she kissed him.
Zaan wanted to lick her from head to toe and bury himself between her shapely thighs, but forced himself to slow down. She wasn’t some random puck bunny and even if her father hadn’t been one of his teammates, he definitely wasn’t going to make love to a girl like her on a dirty blanket. Especially since he knew her one and only sexual experience had been spectacularly underwhelming.
When he was positive his cock was going to break right through the zipper of his khaki shorts, he pulled away. They were both breathing heavily and he cupped one side of her face with his hand, running his thumb along her cheek.
“We should get back. We’re an hour from home.”
“What if I don’t want to?” she sighed.
“We can go home, get cleaned up and go out to dinner,” he suggested, hoping the erection tenting his shorts wasn’t too obvious. “The party at Cody’s is probably still going strong.”
“Or we could go back to my house and order in,” she said quietly.
“Lexi… we just met and—”
“I lost two years of my life and I’m leaving in a week. We only have a week to do… everything we can think of. I’ll be nineteen later this year, so there aren’t any legal issues and my father never has to know anything that happens.”
“Two people can get really invested in a week,” he said thoughtfully.
“Two people can get really invested in an afternoon,” she pointed out. “I already like you more than I should.”
“I definitely like you more than I should,” he responded softly, “which is what worries me.”
“If you have other things to do, it’s okay, but you told me to start doing things to make myself feel better—and right here, right now, being with you makes me feel better than I’ve felt in ages.”
“You’ve never really been with anyone,” he reminded her, still holding her against him. “Your disastrous first time shouldn’t even count.”
“Then shouldn’t I get an epic do-over?” Her eyes found his intently.
“That’s a lot of pressure,” he admitted. “If I let you down again…”
“Not possible.”
He didn’t know how he’d found this girl, but wanted to thank his lucky stars that he had. “Let’s get back to Vegas and figure out the rest of the night. There’s plenty of time for us to decide how we want to spend the little bit of time we have.”
“Okay.”
4
They picked up Chinese food on the way back to her father’s condo and she took a few minutes to freshen up while he set out the food. Though Lexi had been grateful to have her parents and Mack around while she’d been recovering, she was looking forward to going away to college and being on her own. She’d probably have a roommate, but
that was okay, as long as she could have some privacy. Her father and stepmother were wonderful, but her mother and stepfather drove her nuts, and she was ready to get away from all of them for a while.
When her makeup was refreshed and her wig was back on, she padded out to the living room. Zaan had put their meals out on the coffee table with napkins and utensils. She smiled at his thoughtfulness, sinking down next to him on the couch.
“So, NHL Network?” he joked, reaching for the remote.
She playfully swatted his hand. “If we watch NHL Network tonight, it’ll be the Hallmark Channel next time. Or we could compromise…”
“Compromise?”
“I own all the Marvel movies on Blu-ray.”
He sighed happily. “That’s right… the woman I’m going to marry would have those. Iron Man?”
She wrinkled her nose. “I was going to suggest Thor, but okay, we can do Iron Man. I’m down with Robert Downey, Jr.” She got up and put the DVD in, letting him work the remote as she dug into her dinner.
They joked through the whole movie, reciting the dialogue almost word-for-word, until they were laughing again. They did that a lot, Lexi thought as he put in Iron Man 2. Part of her worried she’d been too forward earlier, but he wasn’t behaving any differently and they were having a lot of fun. Her father had texted her an hour ago, asking where she was, and she’d told him they were home watching a movie. She suspected he and Mack would be home shortly, but that was okay. Her desire for freedom didn’t equate to disrespecting her parents, so having sex wasn’t an option anyway. She just wanted to know Zaan didn’t think less of her for saying out loud what most girls only thought in their heads.
“Hey, Zaan?”
“Yeah?” He turned to look at her.
“Could you pause it for a sec?” She swallowed.
“What’s up?” He met her gaze with concern in his eyes.
“Dad and Mack are on the way home, so I wanted to ask you something before they got here.”
