Rendezvous With the Fat Man

by Gail Sherman Jones

  “I can bring everything I have tomorrow afternoon at one o’clock. We can negotiate a price at that time,” Jan responded.

  “But….we can’t meet in the store,” he informed her.

  “Why not?

  “My brother is working with me tomorrow. I don’t want him to know anything about this transaction. He’s squeaky clean and doesn’t even drink alcohol. Let’s do it in the parking garage,” he requested

  Jan hesitated with some doubt, mentally deliberating. After a long pause, she confirmed grudgingly, “I guess so. See you there. Mahalo.”

  “Mahalo,” the broker responded as he buzzed the door to open for Jan’s departure.

  Even after feeling slightly suspicious and unsure, she let her guard down by being overly anxious to sell the remainder of her stash. Normally Jan would take much more time to know and learn about prospective buyer. But the thought of skiing in the South American Andes affected her better judgment and she quickly dismissed any doubts about the guy.

  On the day of delivery, Jan parked in the underground garage at the arranged time. She was seated in her car, facing the elevator and stairs, smoking a cigarette with her mother’s dog Muffitt in the back seat. As the diamond broker appeared from the open elevator doors, she put her hand out the car window and waved to him. He acknowledged her presence, then zig zagged through the rows of vehicles to meet by her car door. Muffitt started barking as his image appeared in the window. “Cute dog,” he said.

  “That’s my mom’s dog Muffitt.” The diamond broker put his hand inside the car to pet Muffitt who was overly curious about this new person. She sniffed his hand briefly but retracted with a growl.

  “Muffitt, be a good girl,” Jan scolded her.

  “That’s okay. She probably smells my cat. Do you have the photos?”

  “They’re all inside,” Jan responded while handing him the last of her coke for sale in a large padded envelope.

  The diamond broker opened it and stuck his pinky finger in one of the baggies for a sample, then licked it off. “That’s nice, real nice.”

  “It better be for what I had to go through to get it. You got the money for me?”

  “In my office.”

  Jan’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “I wasn’t sure you’d show,” he replied.

  Jan took the envelope back. “Now you know.”

  “Give me five minutes and I’ll get the cash,” he confirmed.

  “Okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

  The diamond broker smirked a bit at her response before zig-zagging back to the elevator. Suddenly, two men in suits appeared, walking around the garage looking for somebody. Jan saw them immediately and wondered who they were. An incredible feeling of terror washed over her and she began to feel ill. Then Muffitt started barking and jumping around in the back seat.

  “Muffitt. No. Sit still. We’ll be out of here in a few minutes.”

  The men split into opposite directions, on either side of the garage. Jan rolled up her window and glanced into the rearview mirror. She had lost sight of them, but Muffitt definitely knew they were out there. Jan adjusted the mirror to scan the parking garage. She glanced around, panicked and scooted down low in the driver’s seat.

  Her hands shook while clutching the envelope pressed to her chest, then she pulled the plastic baggies out of the envelope. There was nowhere to hide her incriminating evidence. As the men were closing in, Muffitt continued to bark. Jan immediately stuffed the baggies inside the bottom of her bra and smoothed her shirt after pulling it down over her stomach.

  “Goddamit!! I gotta get out of here. These guys have to be plain clothes cops.”

  Jan started the engine to flee the garage, but the men ran towards the car flashing their badges. She knew she was in big trouble. “FUUUCK….What the hell have I gotten myself into?” she thought to herself.

  She felt her heart pounding as if having a panic attack and just sat there like a ‘test dummy,’ sweating profusely. She pulled off the scarf covering her hair and patted the beads of sweat accumulating on her face. It was ninety degrees outside that day but felt even hotter.

  Cigarette smoke filled the car with a smoggy haze. Jan tried to look nonchalant and unaffected by the officers’ presence as she took another long drag from her cigarette. They approached her car from each side and knocked on the closed windows.

  “Please roll ’em down!” one of them blurted out.

  With the windows still up she responded, “Is there a problem, officer?”

  “We’re looking for somebody.”

  Jan opened the window slightly and puffs of cigarette smoke drifted into the guy’s face. He quickly stepped back to avoid it as she grudgingly rolled down the window all the way. “What do you want from me?” she timidly asked.

  “Could we please see some ID?” he adamantly requested.

  Jan grabbed her purse and fumbled inside it looking for her wallet. She mustered all her physical discipline to keep her hands from shaking as she retrieved her driver’s license and handed it to him. She looked up at the officer and their eyes locked. He was confirming that she was the person pictured on the license. His face lit up. Bingo! He hit the jackpot. They had been looking for somebody with her name.

  “Jan Sherman. Would you please step out of the car? We’re taking you to the station for questioning.”

  “Officer, could you please tell me what this is all about?”

  “We’ll explain later.”

  “What am I gonna’ do with my mom’s dog Muffitt? I can’t leave her in the car.”

  “Bring her with you.”

  Jan picked up Muffitt from out of the smoke filled car. The dog was more than happy to get out into the fresh air and sniff another human. After locking her car, they climbed into the back seat of the patrol vehicle. It was so surreal. Jan had never been busted before on her smuggling adventures abroad. And now she was being taken away by the police for questioning on her own home turf.

  At the Honolulu Police Department, Jan sat across a desk from the two officers who had brought her in, while Muffitt sat on the floor behind her. The older officer leaned back in his chair studying Jan’s body language. Her feminine charms were not going to work on him. Jan was agitated and indignant when interviewed about her association with the diamond broker.

  “I’ve answered all your questions. If you’re finished, I need to get home,” Jan complained.

  “Who says you’re going home?”

  “You’ve detained me without cause. Buying diamonds isn’t against the law,” Jan responded.

  “No it’s not against the law if that is, in fact, what you were doing waiting there in that parking garage.”

  “I told you, I was waiting for a friend to meet me. We were going to shop for her engagement ring at the diamond brokerage.”

  “Just want to give you a warning that a new drug task force has been assigned to Hawaii. They’re cleaning up the island of illegal drugs,” he warned her.

  “Great. That’s good to know. But I told you, I have nothing to do with drugs. You can search my car, my condo, everything. I don’t have any.”

  “We’ll be keeping an eye on you,” the second officer cautioned her.

  “That’s all for now. But we may want to talk to you again soon,” the first officer informed her.

  “No problem. I’ve told you repeatedly I’m not involved in anything. But can I ask for two favors?”

  “What favors?” the first officer asked.

  “May I make a phone call and can you drop me off at my car back at the parking garage?”

  “Yes to both questions,” the first officer answered dryly.

  The officer moved the phone across the table to Jan and left the room so she could have a private conversation. She picked up the receiver and dialed her parent’s phone
number.

  “Mom, it’s Jan.”

  “Where the hell have you been with Muffitt?”

  “I was brought in to the police station for questioning.”

  “Questioning about what?”

  “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be over shortly to explain everything.”

  Jan hung up and left the interrogation room escorted by one of the officers. She was exhausted and depressed from the verbal grilling. The diamond broker was apparently under surveillance and the police began watching her as well after visiting him the day before.

  Feeling emboldened by her successful bra concealment, Jan was indignant through the whole questioning process. She just wanted to get out of the interrogation room and go home. Muffitt was not too happy about being there either.

  The police had to let Jan go since they had no firm evidence against her. But if she had been body searched, they would have discovered that everything was all right there in front of them, stuffed in her bra: enough cocaine to charge her with a felony for federal drug trafficking and years behind bars in the penitentiary, her freedom taken away, future plans and reputation destroyed.

  As Jan watched the police squad car drive out of the parking garage after dropping her off at her vehicle, she was immediately overwhelmed with paranoia. It were as if she had been struck by lightning. Jan realized that she never should have given the police an open invitation to search her property. ‘What a fuckin’ stupid mistake that was’. She lit a cigarette to calm her nerves and placed Muffitt in the back seat.

  ‘Holy shit!! I made a big-ass error trying to sell to that jerkoff diamond broker. My gut failed me for the first time. It’s the biggest reality check and blunder of judgement in my life. I didn’t follow my own rules of being super cautious. Haste makes waste and how true that is. If I had lost all the profits earned from the last drug deal of my smuggling career, it would have bugged me even more than losing the respect of my parents. But there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’ve got to clear my head and move on from here.’

  She also knew she had to act quickly to get rid of any evidence of drugs, paraphernalia, and money that might incriminate her. The police could be getting a search warrant that very moment for her condo, bank accounts, and safety deposit box.

  The next most difficult task was to tell her parents why she had been questioned by the police and what her “real” business had been in the past. Once that information was revealed, she knew her praiseworthy image with her parents would be destroyed forever.

  The drive home from the police department seemed like an eternity. Jan was hyper-stressed out and beginning to panic. She had trouble focusing her thoughts knowing that the police suspected her of dealing drugs. Since she was on the clock to stay ahead of them, Jan decided to go straight to her condo and bank first to clear out any evidence they could use against her.

  After arriving home, she pulled out the coke baggies from her bra and placed them in a suitcase that was grabbed from the closet. She frantically filled it with all her small personal drug stash: dried psychedelic mushrooms, weed and paraphernalia, roach clips, zig zag papers, rolling machines, and bongs. She kept checking her watch. There was no time to spare.

  Jan then rushed to her bank with a briefcase before closing time to empty her safety deposit box contents of more drugs, money, and jewelry, as well as closing her checking and savings accounts. The next and final dreaded task was to drive to her parent’s condo and confess everything to them. To boost her courage in this crucial moment of truth, she reached into her glove compartment to retrieve a half-full flask of rum and drank all of it.

  After arriving, she sat in the car staring at their building. “Here we go Muffitt. Wish me luck.” The dog cocked its head as if to acknowledge her dilemma, barking back in response.

  Jan walked out of the elevator carrying Muffitt in one arm and the small suitcase in the other hand, and headed straight for her parent’s condo door. It was now 7:00 PM and she could smell the meal her mother was cooking for dinner. The rum had given her a slight buzz on an empty stomach, but it didn’t dispel her intimidation when she rang the doorbell. Jan mentally prepared for the moment that someone would open the door. Seconds passed. No answer. She rang again. Finally, her mom popped her head out.

  “What’s going on with you? We were so worried,” her mom angrily asked.

  Jan didn’t reply. She entered and headed straight for the living room, placing the suitcase on the glass top coffee table. Her mom approached her, almost more excited to see Muffitt who she pulled from Jan’s arms. Then her dad appeared from the bedroom.

  “Jan, we wanna know why you were at the police station,” he asked.

  “Dad, I’ll explain everything,” Jan responded.

  “Mrs. Treat on the 5th floor had told us that she saw men in a van last night parked in front of our building. She wondered who they were watching. We didn’t think anything about it until we got your call from the station. Then we realized that they couldn’t park in front of your condo because the street curves around to Diamond Head Road, so they had to park in front of ours. Why would the police be watching you?” her mother inquired.

  “Please don’t be angry with me after I tell you.” Jan was sweating profusely. “Mom, I need a cool wash cloth to wipe my forehead.” Her mother rushed to the bathroom and returned with it. Jan wiped her face and neck.

  “What’s in the suitcase?” her dad asked.

  To his dismay, Jan opened it and revealed the drug related contents and thousands of dollars in cash. Her parents looked at each other stunned and speechless as they viewed the incriminating evidence.

  “I lied to you all these years about being a freelance travel photographer. I was smuggling cocaine from South America,” Jan confessed.

  “What the hell! Smuggling cocaine,” her mother replied in shock.

  “I didn’t think you’d find out about it.”

  “For crisssakes, we didn’t raise you to turn into a criminal,” her mother answered.

  “Well, unfortunately we know now and we have to deal with the consequences,” her father replied.

  “But I’m retired. My last smuggle was six months ago. I got tired of lying and living a double life.”

  “Can you imagine what would’ve happened if you’d been arrested and charged with a felony for this and bear the stigma of being a drug smuggler? Besides your life being destroyed, your father’s business reputation and our family name would’ve been tarnished forever,” her mom admonished.

  “Why did you do it?” her dad asked.

  “I wanted to make a large, quick profit and thought that was the easiest way to do it. I could never earn that much working a 9-to-5 job.”

  “I can rob a bank and steal a lot of money fast. What’s the difference? They’re both unethical and illegal.”

  “You’re right. I had the choice not to do it, but I guess greed won out. It sounds ignorant and stupid to me now. I made some bad choices and I’m ashamed and regret everything I did. If it’s any consolation, the reason I started selling cocaine was to pay for my travels around the world and give me financial security which I was able to achieve.”

  Her dad rolled his eyes and sat down with her mom at the dining room table. Her parents were clearly disgusted. “The newspapers and TV news would have jumped all over this story,” her dad added.

  “I’ll never be the perfect daughter I always wanted to be. But if you give me one last chance, I’ll be the best daughter I can from now on. I promise.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it,” her mom replied.

  “The police obviously have been tipped off. We need to get you away from this island as quickly as possible until this all blows over,” her dad strategized.

  “I know exactly where to go and they’ll never find me, San Martin de Los Andes Ski Resort. I was planning on going there anyway
s after selling all my coke,” Jan told them.

  “Where the hell is that place?” Her father asked.

  “In the Andes Mountains in Argentina. I taught ski lessons there many times. I can fly to San Francisco if Kristen buys a ticket for me in her name, then fly to Buenos Aires using my fake passport in the name of Serena Rico.”

  “Fake passport? Serena Rico? I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re just full of surprises. My reality of a normal family doesn’t exist anymore. What did we do wrong as parents to cause you to follow this crazy lifestyle?” her dad reflected.

  “Not a thing, Dad. I’m sorry I disappointed everyone.”

  “Damn it! Here we go again with another lie,” her mother lamented.

  “Just this one last time. I need to keep the police away from me until I’m off the island,” Jan pleaded.

  Her parents realized they had to help Jan promptly to get out of this bad situation. “I can’t believe you’re asking us to do this. But…you’re my daughter and I love you in spite of all your faults,” her mom responded.

  They agreed if there was no evidence, there was no proof of a crime and Jan would no longer be under suspicion. Her dad picked up the phone and called her younger sister Kristen.

  “Kristen, we need you to come over right away,” her dad insisted.

  “Dad, what’s goin’ on?”

  “I’ll tell you when you get here,” her dad replied.

  Jan and her parents sat around the kitchen table plotting the logistics of her departure from Honolulu. Kristen finally arrived and joined the family at the table.

  “Why am I over here? I was baking a cake when dad called.”

  “We need your help right now,” her mom interjected.

  “You’re older sister just confessed to us that she was smuggling cocaine all those years she traveled to South America,” her dad revealed.

  “No way. That’s kinda cool.”

  “Cool my ass. Jan’s under surveillance by the Honolulu police,” her dad admonished.