The Patient One

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “Thanks for driving, Marie,” Katie said.

  She shrugged. “It’s nothing. I’m glad I have a big car.” Usually everyone would be teasing her. Well, Andy would be. Marie’s parents had passed down their Escalade when they’d decided to buy a new, smaller vehicle. The Cadillac was far too big and expensive for her needs, but she hadn’t had the heart to refuse the gift. It was comfortable, beautiful, and really good for occasions like this when a group of them wanted to go somewhere.

  Remembering that several of their friends had already made arrangements to go home with other people, she said, “If any of you want me to give you a ride home, just let me know.”

  Elizabeth Anne pressed a hand on her arm. “Thanks, Marie.”

  The expression they shared spoke volumes, conveying how bittersweet the evening felt.

  Holding up the key fob, she looked around. “Does everyone have all their stuff?”

  “Yep. Lock it and let’s get going,” John said.

  “Is Logan meeting us?” Will asked.

  “I think so. He’s with Tricia,” John B. said as they all started walking toward the entrance of the festival.

  As Marie watched him move ahead, a part of her felt disappointed. She’d hoped he would have chosen to walk by her side. But instead of showing any sort of preference for her companionship, he seemed to be going out of his way to not pay special attention to her.

  It stung, especially when she recalled their kiss.

  Scratch that. She’d had no trouble “recalling” anything. She’d actually relived their embrace so many times it was becoming embarrassing. She wasn’t a sheltered girl. She’d kissed other boys.

  So why was she fixating on John’s kiss? Why could she not seem to think of anything else?

  As they continued to walk through the crowded gravel parking lot, Katie kept pace with her. “Hey, you seem quieter than usual. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. It’s just hard, you know? I miss Andy.”

  “I do, too. We all do.” Staying by Marie’s side, Katie’s light green dress fluttering lightly in the evening breeze, she continued. “I keep thinking I’m going to hear his voice from behind me. I think part of me continually listens for it.”

  “I’ve found myself doing the same thing. I’ll be working at the bank or out shopping at a store, or just cleaning my house. Hours will go by and I’ll hardly think about him. Then I’ll be doing the smallest thing and bam! His loss hits me so hard I can hardly catch my breath.”

  “You described how I’m feeling exactly. I started crying yesterday when I was eating Mexican food.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe that eating nachos brought me to tears.”

  “Andy did like nachos,” Marie said. “But boy, would he be teasing you something awful if he saw you doing that.”

  Katie wiped her eyes. “He sure would.”

  E.A. came up to their side. “You two okay?”

  “Yeah. We’re . . . well, we’re just missing Andy.” Smiling at the other two girls, she shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

  “We’ll get through it. Somehow,” E.A. murmured.

  Marie nodded, liking that. E.A. was right. It might not be pretty but they would all get through their grief somehow and in some way.

  “Girls, you coming?” Will asked.

  “We’re here. Settle down,” Marie said. She smiled at Will and felt her cheeks heat when she noticed that John was staring at her intently.

  Boy, she was toast around him.

  Five minutes later, they were all at the front of the donation booth. Because it was a community event, no one had to pay anything to get into the festival. But the organizers did ask for donations, both to help with the costs of the necessities and in order to give a donation for some of the area food banks.

  As Marie watched everyone pull out a couple of dollars, and in some cases ten or twenty, a new feeling warmed her. This was something that she loved about their group. Giving to others wasn’t something that they had to talk about. They simply did it. It was another example of how they might look very different but they really did have so much in common.

  “Where to first?” she asked.

  “I told my mamm I’d go see her at the booth in the back. She’s in charge of the pie bake-off,” Elizabeth Anne said. “Anyone want to come with me?”

  “Sorry, E.A., but nee,” Will said. “I wanted to look at the livestock.”

  “Marie and I are going to the corn maze,” John B. announced. “We’ll meet up with the rest of you later,” he said as he walked to her side and pressed a hand to the center of her back.

  Right away, her body shifted and relaxed. Almost as if she’d been needing his touch, his reassurance. It took her by surprise.

  Just like the fact that their big outing seemed to be disintegrating rapidly. “Wait a minute,” she told them all. “We can’t all wander off in different directions. We were going to all do something together, remember?”

  Will raised his hands. “No offense, but I’ve no desire to watch John flirt with you under the cornstalks.”

  “We’re not going to be flirting,” Marie said.

  John chuckled. “Speak for yourself, Marie.”

  Will grinned. “See what I mean?”

  “I have an idea,” E.A. said. “Let’s all meet over where the food carts are in an hour.”

  “Perfect,” John said.

  Before Marie could reply, the rest of their group scattered. Even Katie.

  “John, did you arrange something with everyone?”

  “Nee.”

  “Really? Because it seems like no one but me was surprised that we were separating from them.”

  “Well, maybe I did mention that I wanted to spend some time alone with you. But if I did, what’s wrong with that?”

  How come he kept turning everything she thought was obvious and flipping it on its side? “I don’t know,” she sputtered.

  “That’s because there isn’t anything wrong with what I did.”

  “Maybe it was awfully high-handed of you.”

  He stopped and looked down at her. “Marie, don’t make this harder than it has to be. I like spending time with you. I want to spend more time alone with you, but it’s hard because we’re both working and have other obligations.”

  “But what about everyone else?”

  “What about them?”

  “Don’t you think they’re wondering what’s going on between us? Maybe they have questions.”

  John blinked. “Questions about what? The fact that you and I are enjoying spending time together?”

  “You know that it’s more than that.”

  His voice deepened as it lowered. “I absolutely know that. Do you not recall our kiss? Because I can’t seem to forget it.”

  Talking with him was like jumping on board a roller coaster. He was taking her in circles and spins and she was simply trying to hold on and not fall. “I remember.”

  “Do you?” He stepped closer to her. Leaned closer to her ear. “Do you remember what it was like, Marie?”

  Yes, she remembered. It had felt like she was coming home and stepping off the edge of a cliff at the same time. She’d alternated between wanting to wrap her arms around him and hold him close and stepping two feet away and reminding them both that it wasn’t supposed to happen.

  Still gazing into his eyes, Marie realized that her heart was beating so fast. And . . . and her whole body felt like it wasn’t aware of anything but him. Right there on the fairgrounds!

  “Gut,” he said leading her to the corn maze. “Now, how should we do this?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Should we race to see who gets out first?”

  The sun was setting and the maze was huge. She’d been in it before, too. If they were lucky they might get through before the sun set completely, though that was doubtful. One year she and her girlfriends got so lost it took them almost an hour to get out.

  The last thing she wanted was to be stuck in the m
iddle of the stupid maze all alone. “Definitely not. We’re going through the maze together.”

  “Should we time ourselves then? Guess how long it’s going to take us?”

  “John, you are such a boy. Why can’t we just walk through the maze and enjoy the experience?”

  “That’s all you want to do?”

  “I think that’s enough.” It was becoming rather hard to keep a straight face.

  “All right,” he said, though his voice was full of disappointment. “We’ll go through your way.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Of course, Marie.” He smiled at her before tensing up again.

  “Now what’s wrong?” Honestly, sometimes it felt as if he were her sibling, the way they could trade barbs back and forth.

  “I’m not sure.” Still looking just beyond her, his voice lowered. “Mei shveshtah’s here.”

  “Which one?” She had no idea why this was noteworthy!

  “Molly. And look, she’s talking with your gardener.”

  “Yes, she is talking with Danny Eberly.” Feeling confused, Marie raised an eyebrow at John. He didn’t notice, though. He was still staring at his sister like Molly was doing something wrong.

  Marie had no idea what he could have been finding fault with. She didn’t share it, but she didn’t know if she’d ever seen Molly look so happy. Deciding she needed to get their tickets and move them on, she trotted forward. “My treat, John.”

  “Marie.”

  She kept walking. “Two tickets, Danny.”

  “Hiya, Miss Hartman. Having fun?”

  “Very much. Hi, Molly. I’m Marie, your brother’s friend.”

  “I remember ya. Hi, Marie.” She lifted her chin. “Hey, John. You didn’t tell me you were going to be here.”

  “Then we’re even, aren’t we? Because I sure didn’t know you were going to be here either. How did you get here, anyway?”

  “Anton and Amanda and Ezra. They hired a driver.”

  “Here you go, Marie,” Danny said as he handed Marie two tickets . . . and directed a wary look at John.

  “Danke,” Marie said. Then, because John was embarrassing his sister something awful, she reached for John’s hand and tugged. “Let’s go.”

  He didn’t budge. “Hold on a second. I want to ask Danny something.”

  “Not now John.” With a wink in Molly’s direction, Marie shook her head. “Let’s get going. I’ve a mind to see how long it takes us to get through. That means we’re going to have to time ourselves.”

  “Hold up, now. I need to—”

  Marie cut him off. “No, you don’t. What you need to do is get moving.” Still holding his hand, a new, playful—and determined—light shone from her green eyes. “Therefore . . . one, two, three, go.”

  After giving his little sister a look that said he would talk to her later, he allowed Marie to tug him into the maze.

  Within three feet, the scent of hay, cut grass, and cornstalks surrounded them. And even though it was still fairly light outside, the high walls made their world darken slightly.

  Seeming to gather himself together, John turned his hand so their fingers linked.

  Liking the feel of his calloused hand against her own, she looked up at him and smiled. John didn’t return the smile, but his expression eased some more.

  By the time they turned left and left again, they were walking slower . . . and then John grabbed ahold of her other hand. “Let’s stop for a minute, Marie.”

  His voice was husky and full of promises.

  And because she was a very smart girl, she stopped and turned to him. . . .

  Looked up into his eyes . . . and waited to see what would happen next.

  TWELVE

  “God was so good. The kittens were all alive.”

  “Your broodah looked kind of mad,” Danny said after John and Marie were out of sight. “Actually, he looks pretty mad at me. Why do you think that is?”

  Oh, Molly knew. John hadn’t liked seeing her doing anything with a boy, not even sitting at the front of a cornfield in plain view of their whole community. But even though she knew why John had been acting stupid, did that mean that she wanted to share that information with Danny?

  Absolutely not.

  “Don’t worry about it. He likes to pretend I’m a child still. I don’t have a problem reminding him that I’m sixteen and not six.”

  Danny laughed. “You really mean that, don’tcha?”

  “Jah. Why are you surprised?”

  “No reason . . . other than I didn’t think you were so outspoken. You were always shy in school.”

  Danny wasn’t wrong. She had been shy and self-conscious. As much as everyone pretended that her being in a wheelchair didn’t make her any different, it felt like it was a dividing line between her and the rest of the kids. “Things were different in school for me.”

  “Even though I was only a year ahead of you, I don’t remember much about you except that you were quiet.”

  “And that I was stuck in a wheelchair?”

  “Jah. But you seemed timid, too. I remember thinking that you didn’t seem like the kind of girl who could stand up for herself all that good.” The moment the words were out of his mouth, he looked horrified. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean stand, like on two legs. I meant—”

  She chuckled. “I knew what you meant,” she said quickly. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Sure?”

  “I know I’m in a wheelchair, Danny. I’m not sensitive about it. Well, not anymore. And not unless someone talks down to me because of it.”

  “I don’t remember how you hurt your legs.”

  “It was my back. I injured my spine.”

  “Wait a minute. You had an accident, right? You fell off a horse or something?”

  Thinking about that terrible moment, she nodded. “I was thrown. My horse got spooked by a snake or something and reared. It caught me off guard and I flew into a ravine and injured my spine.”

  “I bet it hurt bad.”

  “I don’t really remember much of it, if you want to know the truth. I remember the horse rearing and making a terrible noise. I remember losing my grip on his reins and realizing I was gonna fall. And I remember landing and crying out. And then nothing until I was in the hospital and saw my whole family standing around my bed.”

  “I remember hearing about you being in the hospital for a long time.”

  It had been a horrible time. The hospital had been large and scary for her nine-year-old self. The tests they’d given her hadn’t been pleasant or easy. Added that she’d realized she wasn’t ever going to walk again?

  It had been worse than hard.

  Even now, all these years later, it was a struggle to keep her voice light. Though she truly didn’t mind talking about her accident, or even about her hospital stay, the memories of the physical therapy and the times she’d been poked with needles still made her cringe. Even now, her palms got clammy every time she had to get a shot.

  Danny lowered his voice. “What did you do when you found out about your legs? Did you cry?”

  “I did. But I was mainly confused at first. I couldn’t accept that my paralysis was going to be permanent. I kept thinking if I prayed real hard that Got would listen and restore the feeling in my legs. But I soon learned that He doesn’t answer every prayer.”

  Danny looked at her legs. “So you canna feel anything?”

  “I was lucky. My T-12 vertebra was crushed but not completely ruined. I have some feeling in my lower thighs.”

  He looked skeptical.

  Molly knew he probably had more questions about why that feeling was significant. She also had feeling above her thighs, which meant she didn’t have to have a catheter and could even one day have a baby. But there was no way she was going to share such things with him.

  Smiling at him, she said, “How has the fair been so far?”

  He grinned back at her. “So far, so good. Everyone seems to really like the m
aze and I have fun sending everyone in.”

  Speaking of which, two more couples wandered over, and Danny was busy for the next couple of minutes selling them tickets and answering questions about the corn maze.

  After they went in and disappeared, Molly chuckled. “That redheaded girl looked kind of scared.”

  He smiled at her. “I thought so, too.”

  “I don’t know why she would go in if she was that afraid. It doesn’t make sense to me.”

  “Who knows? I think a lot of people like to push themselves from time to time. Try something new.”

  “I guess so.” Studying him, she realized that he’d been talking about himself. She wondered if he was talking about reaching out to her, though that seemed kind of silly. It wasn’t like they were courting or anything. He was just being nice.

  Sitting back down in the chair next to her, he looked at her closely. “Are you really not going to ask what I meant?”

  “Nee. I mean, I know you’ll share if you want to.” Besides, what if he said something completely different from what she imagined? Then she’d feel kind of stupid.

  Something new lit his eyes. Like he was seeing her in yet another way all over again. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

  She nodded, feeling suddenly confused. “I know what it’s like to not want to talk about everything.”

  “You are sure different from other girls.”

  It was instinctive for her to flinch at the statement. But then, as she caught his tone, Molly realized that Danny meant it to mean more than it sounded. Like he wasn’t talking about wheelchairs and legs that didn’t work. Like he was talking in comparison to all the other girls he knew.

  Like she had something good that they didn’t.

  She wasn’t sure what that could be, but she held tight to the moment. Afraid to smile, she looked up at him, she searched his face, hoping he would say something else, if only to help her understand what he meant.

  He stuffed his hands in his pockets. And for the first time since she’d known him, he looked a little self-conscious. “Hey, Molly? I was wondering . . .”