The Bull Rider's Son

by Cathy McDavid

  “Uncle Shane!”

  He’d slipped so easily into calling Shane “uncle.” She should be pleased. Shane certainly was. His booming voice also carried down the hall.

  “How are you, buddy? Ready for the big day?”

  Walking toward the kitchen, Cassidy could imagine Shane lifting her son into his arms as he often did. She stopped just before the entryway and silently observed them.

  They were exactly as she’d pictured them in her mind, both grinning broadly. Cassidy marveled at the slight resemblance she hadn’t noticed before. It was more mannerisms than anything physical. “Is my dad like you?” Benjie was clearly still bursting with questions.

  “In some ways. He’s also different than me.”

  “How?”

  “He’s taller. I’m a better bull rider.”

  “Is that true?”

  “Would I lie?”

  Benjie giggled, and Shane lowered him to the floor, ruffling the hair Cassidy had meticulously smoothed not thirty minutes ago. “Actually, you’re a lot like him. Funny. Smart. Gregarious.”

  “What’s gregorus?”

  “Outgoing. Enough energy for two kids.”

  “Mom’s always telling me to calm down and go slow.”

  Shane glanced at Cassidy and gave her a wink. “She was always saying that to your dad, too.”

  Had she? Cassidy couldn’t recall. Then again, she had surprisingly few memories about her relationship with Hoyt. Had she purposely tried to forget? Pushing him from her mind with the same diligence she’d pushed him from their lives?

  She berated herself for being selfish. Regardless of how her relationship with Hoyt had ended, she should have preserved their memories for the day when their child would ask. Certainly the good ones, and there had been some happy times.

  “I wish you were my dad.” Benjie’s proclamation caused both Cassidy and Shane to stare at him, Cassidy with her mouth open.

  “Sweetie, no.” She had no idea how to respond. “Don’t say that.”

  “But it’s true.” He pouted, all trace of her charming little boy gone.

  Shane went down on one knee in front of Benjie. “Hey, look at me, buddy.”

  Benjie did. Reluctantly.

  “It’s scary. Meeting your dad for the first time. I know because Bria had to go through the same thing when she met me. But I’ll tell you a secret.”

  “What?”

  “This is just as scary for your dad.”

  Benjie shrugged.

  “I don’t know what kind of dad he’ll be, but I can tell you he was a pretty great big brother. Stuck up for me when I got in trouble or was picked on. Helped me with my homework. Played with me. Took care of me. He’ll do the same for you. All you have to do is give him a chance. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Shane stood and pulled Benjie to his side. “That’s my boy.”

  Tears gathered in Cassidy’s eyes, undoubtedly the first of many today. Clearing her throat, she edged closer.

  “Hoyt and Cheryl should be here any minute.”

  “They’re probably pulling in the driveway now,” Shane said. “Hoyt called a few minutes ago.”

  “So soon!” Alarm filled Cassidy—and might have overtaken her if not for Shane’s steadying hand on her arm.

  “Relax. Everything’s going to be all right.”

  She believed him—for exactly three seconds. Then, the front doorbell rang.

  * * *

  SHANE SAT IN the far corner of the living room couch, watching the goings-on and keeping his mouth shut. The situation was hard enough on everyone without him making comments.

  But, if he was to speak, he’d tell his brother to dial it down a notch. Overwhelming the poor kid with a big personality and a bright, shiny gift wasn’t going to win him over. He should just take it easy and be himself. Then, maybe, Benjie would stop clinging to his mother and squeezing into the slim space between her and the arm of the wingback chair where she sat.

  Shane would also tell Sunny that being the perfect hostess wasn’t necessary. Once the tray of lemonade was delivered and the glasses filled, she should have skedaddled out of there. An audience wasn’t helping. Shane would be gone, too, if Hoyt hadn’t insisted he stay and Cassidy didn’t look as though she was ready to splinter into a dozen pieces.

  Of all of them, he felt the worst for Cheryl. This was what she wanted. A child. The longing in her eyes was heartbreaking. She attempted to cover it with a forced smile, sickeningly pleasant small talk and a chin-up attitude.

  Maybe she, Sunny and Shane should leave. Let Benjie and his parents figure things out on their own. How to suggest that? He was interrupted by Benjie’s first real contribution to the conversation.

  “Uncle Shane plays baseball with me every day.”

  Hoyt looked over, his expression difficult to read. “He does?”

  “More like catch,” Shane clarified.

  “And we go horseback riding,” Benjie said.

  “Only a couple times.”

  “Shane’s been very good to Benjie.” Cassidy placed her hand on Benjie’s head. The gesture could be interpreted as motherly...or protective. “They’ve become close.”

  Whatever was going on, Shane didn’t want to be a part of it. Regardless of his feelings for Cassidy, he had no intention of usurping Hoyt’s place in Benjie’s life. “I’ve been telling him a lot about you and stories from when we were kids.”

  “Do you like to fish?” Hoyt asked Benjie.

  “Never been.”

  The gift he’d brought was a new youth-size rod and reel. A good idea, considering Roosevelt Lake was a mere thirty minutes away and the fishing there some of the best in the state.

  “Maybe you should go while you’re here,” Shane suggested. “Your dad’s a pretty good angler.”

  “What’s that?” Benjie asked.

  “A fisherman.”

  Benjie peered at Hoyt with new interest, then twisted in the chair to look at Cassidy. “Can I, Mom?”

  “We can certainly talk about it.”

  The tension in the room, already high, increased.

  “Cookies anyone?” Sunny rose. “I have homemade chocolate chip.”

  Shane considered chasing after Sunny and waylaying her in the kitchen, just to give the rest of them some privacy. Unfortunately, she was too fast for him, so he did the next best thing.

  “Hey, Benjie. Why don’t you take your dad to the barn and show him Skittles?” When Cassidy nearly exploded from her chair, he added, “Your mom, too. We’ll have cookies when you get back.”

  “Okay.” Benjie was suddenly all smiles. “You come, too.”

  “I’m going to wait here. Keep Cheryl and your grandmother company.”

  His sister-in-law looked almost relieved. Not Benjie, who fixed a stubborn scowl on his face.

  Shane was trying to think of what to say next when his brother surprised him.

  “Skittles, huh? I’ve ridden that horse. Years ago. I was competing in the Wild West Days Rodeo. Calf roping. My horse threw a shoe. Your grandmother let me borrow Skittles.” Hoyt smiled and exchanged glances with Cassidy. “I came in second place. You remember?”

  “I do. You beat out Shane.”

  Her voice had softened, and a tiny smile touched her lips. Shane was completely enamored and, for just a second, forgot where they were and why.

  Benjie giggled, his interest in his father at last genuine. “You beat Uncle Shane?”

  “He barely qualified, as I recall.”

  In calf roping. But Shane had taken home the gold buckle for bull riding. “Your dad was always a better roper than me.”

  “I can’t believe Skittles is still around.” Hoyt slapped his thigh. “I’d like to see him.
If you’ll take me.”

  “We have to hurry.” Benjie jumped up and grabbed Cassidy’s hand, pulling her out of the chair and across the room to where Hoyt sat. “Grandpa feeds at five o’clock. We’re not allowed in the barn then.”

  Hoyt stood and patted his son on the back. “We’d best get after it, then.”

  Benjie forgot all about including Shane, for which he was glad. He wouldn’t trade his relationship with Bria for anything in the world and wished the same for his brother.

  At the entryway from the living room to the kitchen, Cassidy paused and glanced over her shoulder. He nodded encouragingly, trying to let her know she was doing just fine, and he’d be right here when she returned.

  “Thanks for helping,” Cheryl said to him after the others had left. “This has been a strange and strained day.”

  “Where did everyone go?” Sunny appeared holding the tray of cookies and wearing a perplexed expression.

  “They needed some time alone.” Shane snatched a cookie off the tray and took a bite. “Good,” he muttered.

  “Hmm.” Sunny set the tray on the table and motioned to a chair. “Would you two like to join me?”

  “Thank you.” With a what-else-can-I-do attitude, Cheryl sat.

  She was making the best of a difficult situation, a quality Shane admired. He liked his sister-in-law and had always thought her a good match for Hoyt. More serious than her husband, she grounded him without dragging him down or smothering his outgoing nature.

  Cassidy was also serious, but with a razor-sharp intensity that, when ignited with just the right match, turned into a fiery passion. Shane liked igniting that passion. When the time was right, he’d do it again.

  “I’ll take a rain check,” he told Sunny and grabbed another cookie on his way out the door. “The bull riding jackpot starts at six.”

  Two weekends every month, when there wasn’t a rodeo, the Easy Money hosted bucking stock events. For a reasonable fee, participants entered a nonsanctioned competition. A portion of the entry fees were set aside, with the top three scores for the evening splitting the pot. The popular event had increased in recent months with the addition of new, championship-quality bulls like Wasabi.

  Shane assumed his brother would come looking for him when he finished with Cassidy and Benjie. He wasn’t worried when he stopped at the trailer for a quick bite of supper before the jackpot. He wasn’t worried an hour later when the jackpot got underway. An hour after that, he was having trouble concentrating. Every few minutes, his gaze wandered toward the barn or the house.

  Where were they? How was it going? Had something happened? Should he call Hoyt?

  Shane was ready to dispatch one of the hands to look for them when he spotted Cassidy sitting alone in the last row of the bleachers.

  “Kenny,” he hollered to the teenager. “Cover for me. I’ll be right back.”

  Spectators’ heads turned as he bounded up the bleacher steps two at a time. Cassidy’s wasn’t one of them. She was so lost in thought, she didn’t glance up until the vibration of his boots hitting the floorboard roused her. Even then, she didn’t appear to recognize him for several seconds. When she did, she turned her head.

  Catching his breath, he lowered himself onto the seat next to her. “How’d it go?”

  Her answer was to cover her eyes with her hands. It was then Shane realized she’d been crying.

  “Hey. Don’t do that.”

  Without thinking, he nestled her in the crook of his arm. At first, she tensed. The next moment, she slumped and leaned her head against his shoulder. Shane didn’t disturb her, even when his arm fell asleep.

  Chapter Ten

  Cassidy suppressed a groan. How had this happened? Once again, she’d let Shane breach her defenses. Why was he the one who evoked feelings in her she’d rather keep buried? The one who knew without being told what she needed? Today, it was unconditional support without questions.

  “I’m not a crier,” she said at last, lifting her head from his shoulder and wiping her damp cheeks with a tissue procured from her jacket pocket.

  “You cry. You just don’t let people see you.”

  How true. Figures he’d see right through her pretenses. “Sorry.” She straightened, putting a few inches between them. His arm slipped from around her shoulders.

  Much better, she thought. The distance, slight as it was, lessened her vulnerability to him.

  “Did Hoyt and Cheryl leave?”

  “A while ago. Mom’s watching Benjie for me.”

  Cassidy had attempted to calm her son after his father left—his father still sounded so strange to her—without much success. Benjie was over the moon. Once the ice had been broken and common ground discovered, thanks mostly to Skittles, he and Hoyt had talked nonstop. Cassidy had barely gotten a word in until the end of the visit. For all she knew, Benjie was still talking.

  When her mother had offered to forego the bull riding jackpot and take over Benjie’s nighttime routine, Cassidy had jumped at the chance, desperately needing to get away and recover emotionally and mentally from a trying afternoon.

  Out of habit, she’d wandered to the arena. Any other evening, she, too, would have been working the bull riding jackpot. No one had been sitting in the uppermost row of the bleachers until Shane had joined her. Before she could tell him to go, he had sat down. At the time, accepting the comfort he’d offered seemed natural. Lord knows she could use a friend.

  Now she was less sure. What if he jumped to the wrong conclusion? She was already having a hard enough time keeping him at arm’s length. Sitting with her head on his shoulder, for twenty minutes according to the clock on the electronic scoreboard, sent the wrong message.

  “Am I wrong to assume things didn’t go well?” he asked. “I wondered when Hoyt didn’t find me to say goodbye.”

  “Things went great.”

  “They did?”

  She summarized Benjie and Hoyt’s successful visit.

  “Is that what has you upset? The visit going well?”

  “I am so shallow.” She sniffed and rubbed her nose.

  “You’re scared. Which is perfectly normal.”

  “I don’t want to lose Benjie.” Her chest hurt as if every bit of air was being squeezed from her lungs. “I can’t.”

  “Hoyt won’t do that to you.”

  Cassidy wanted to believe him, but there were too many variables. “You know what upsets me the most?” She couldn’t believe she was about to confide in Shane.

  “What?”

  “Seeing Benjie with Hoyt. It was...sweet. And kind of endearing.”

  He chuckled. “That’s not so terrible.”

  “Maybe.” She’d had the same reaction when she saw her son and Shane together. Then, she hadn’t felt as threatened.

  “Did Hoyt mention visitation?”

  “We didn’t go into details. That’s for the attorneys to hash out. But he swears he’ll be reasonable. He also asked me to bring Benjie to Payson next month while he’s there working.”

  “Okay. That’s not asking too much.”

  She sighed. “No, it’s not.”

  “I could go with you. Bring Bria. Before Hoyt learned about Benjie, we agreed I would drive up and meet him for the day.”

  They could hardly sit next to each other without touching. A two-hour road trip would stretch their willpower to its limit. Then again...

  “I’ll think about it. Thanks for the offer,” she added. They watched the bull riding for several minutes in silence. Then, Cassidy surprised herself by saying, “I would like you to come with us tomorrow.”

  “What’s happening?”

  “Hoyt suggested a trail ride with a picnic lunch. I’m not comfortable letting him and Cheryl take Benjie alone. When I expressed my concern, he sa
id that, naturally, I could come along.”

  Which had irked her. As if Hoyt got to invite her along on an outing with her son.

  “Maybe you should stick to the four of you.”

  “I already told him I was inviting Ryder, Tatum and her three kids.” Safety in numbers, as far as she was concerned. “I think Benjie will be more comfortable that way.”

  “Okay,” Shane mused aloud. “If Hoyt doesn’t mind.”

  She wanted to say the hell with how Hoyt felt. Instead, she simply nodded. “We’re leaving at eleven.”

  “I’ll need to be back by three. Doc Worthington is stopping by.”

  “We all need to be back by then.” Saturdays were always busy at the Easy Money.

  Another several minutes of silence passed, after which Shane said, “Hard as it is, you’re doing the right thing.”

  “Yeah.” Her voice cracked.

  “You’re not going to cry again, are you?” His tone was teasing. The look in his green eyes was mesmerizing.

  She couldn’t bring herself to look away. “No, I’m not.”

  He touched her cheek, wiping away a tear with the pad of his thumb. “Too late.”

  Damn it. She hated him seeing her like this.

  Before she could stop him, he brushed his lips across hers. The kiss was tender and comforting. Night and day from the smoldering one they’d shared in his trailer. Yet desire pulled at her, stronger than ever.

  How could he do that with the merest of touches? She blamed the fact she hadn’t been kissed by another man in a long, long time. Also, she’d been an emotional wreck this past week.

  The truth was, she wanted Shane. With a desire that terrified her as much as it thrilled.

  “You should know,” he said, his voice low and husky and raw with need. “I’m going to kiss you.”

  Hadn’t he just done that?

  “If you don’t want me to, you’d better get up and leave right now.”

  She should have thanked him for the warning and run for the hills as fast as her legs could carry her. Instead, she remained seated, willing him to make good on his promise.