Hold Fast Through the Fire

by K. B. Wagers

  “Maybe.” Jenks shrugged. “It wasn’t his team to risk, that’s the problem.” She sorted through her replies, searching for some way to tell Max to lay off that wasn’t cruel and didn’t make it totally obvious that she was trying to avoid the subject.

  As she slipped her feet into her boots and started lacing them up, she wondered how it was that someone she’d known for barely two years could understand her better than someone she’d been sleeping with for seven.

  If we’re being fair about it, you should admit that’s because you kept Luis at arm’s length for more than five years. Plus Max is spooky good at figuring people out and she knows how much this team means to you.

  Jenks glanced down at her neatly tied boot and then shot Max a look. “Did you—?”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” Jenks shook her head, the fleeting thought vanishing as they hit the gym exit. “I appreciate your concern, Max, but I’d also appreciate it if you’d just let me handle it in my own way.”

  “Okay.”

  Jenks blinked, not expecting the easy agreement, and equally surprised that part of her had hoped Max would push, dig just a little bit.

  You could just ask her for advice on how to forgive someone. She seems to have it figured out, as far as Nika’s concerned anyway.

  But the moment was lost as they hit the zero-g tube, and Jenks stuffed the words back into the corner of her heart, where they couldn’t come back to haunt her.

  “This is much better,” Max murmured to Jenks several days later as they crouched behind a console in the derelict freighter.

  “We’re pinned down, weirdo,” Jenks replied.

  “Yeah, but we’re both alive . . .” She did some mental calculations in her head. “And give it fifteen more seconds.”

  The shooting stopped abruptly, replaced by the frustrated groans of the remainder of Dread Treasure’s crew.

  Then Sapphi’s voice came over the coms. “That’s it. Dread’s all down. Time from start: nine minutes and forty-two seconds.”

  Max popped up, laughing at the sight of Dread’s petty officers—Ito Akane and Aki Murphy—lying on the floor with Chae and Tamago standing over them, swords in hand.

  “Well, this is a difference, isn’t it?” D’Arcy asked as he joined them. “I’d be mad except I’m too impressed. No . . . just mad.”

  “Come on—you can’t be mad at us. Look how well our plan came together,” Max replied, bumping shoulders with the big man.

  “Not just a plan,” he replied with a laugh. “Your whole crew has come together. Good job.” That was directed at Nika as he joined them, and Max hid her pleasure when he nodded in acknowledgment of the praise.

  Everything really had come together over the last week back at Jupiter. They’d done almost nothing but train for the prelims and investigate leads for potential hostiles on the station.

  More, Stephan had surprised Max and had them read the rest of the task force teams in on a plan for hitting the smugglers where it would hurt the most. That level of trust on Intel’s side had gone a long way toward peace of mind for the crew of Zuma’s Ghost.

  Sapphi had swept their quarters for bugs and promised it was clean after Nika had produced the one Chae had planted near his room, but also dedicated herself to the task of constantly checking for anything out of the ordinary.

  With the mission coming together, Nika had been in the sword ring more often than out of it, with Max offering herself up as a sacrifice when D’Arcy had to take care of the repairs on Dread.

  It gave her time to spend with Nika, and though they hadn’t talked a lot, the conversations in the ring had gone a long way toward easing the ache in her heart. It had also been good for her, even though she wasn’t competing, to brush up on her sword abilities. And now she could help Tamago with their training.

  It was all going well . . . except for Jenks. The chief was—Max muffled a sigh—not herself, but sort of managing. Potentially with the help of too much alcohol. Max hated to see her friend like this, but she wanted to let her have the space to figure out her own feelings on the matter.

  Yet she was also worried Jenks was just going to ignore it in the hopes it would go away.

  “I don’t mind saying this break has been nice. All this intensive training is going to make for exciting prelims,” D’Arcy said. “I like the thought of Dread at the top of the scoreboard.”

  “You and Stephan have some grandiose ideas about your place in the NeoG pecking order. You’re going to have to get better at more than just the Boarding Action if you want that to be a reality,” Max said with a straight face.

  “I’m sure you didn’t just throw down a challenge at me, Carmichael.”

  “I’m only speaking truth. And I prefer to be referred to as ‘two-time champion Carmichael,’ if you don’t mind.”

  “Nika, you want to get your lieutenant under control?”

  “Why? I’m on her side,” Nika said, slapping him on the back, and Max couldn’t stop the laugh as D’Arcy turned his glare on Nika. “I mean, you’re stuck with Locke and Huang, and I have Jenks and Max. It’s not your fault I got the better end of the deal.”

  “Meet me in the sword ring this afternoon, and we’ll see whose fault it is,” D’Arcy said, and went to join the others.

  “I’m in for it now.”

  “You’ll kick his ass.” Max raised an eyebrow at his surprised look. “What?”

  “I don’t deserve you.”

  It was her turn to be surprised. “Why do you say that?”

  “You are effortlessly supportive and so confident that all the rest of us will perform at our best.” He glanced at his hands and then smiled at her. “Sometimes I think we’d be better off if you were the commander.”

  “I don’t know that I agree with you. I’ve made mistakes, too, Nika. I’m still learning how to lead.”

  “I know, but the fact that you’re aware of your inexperience is just one more reason you’re good at this job. I’m just—I’m constantly in awe of you. I don’t think I’ve told you enough how competent you are and how grateful I am that you’re on my crew.” He held out his hand and she took it. “I say this as your commander . . . and I hope as your friend.”

  “I’d like to try again.” Max squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her free hand to the space between them.

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry, that slipped out.” She dropped her hand, forced herself to meet his gaze. “No—I’m not sorry. And now that it’s out there, I do mean it. I just hadn’t found a way to say it to you yet. I’d like for us to try again. If you want to.”

  “Of course.” Nika’s blue eyes lit up. “I do, Max. Absolutely.”

  The way the weight came off her reminded Max of stepping off a mining platform on Jupiter back into the Earth-gravity standard of the Interceptor ships, and she took a step forward without thinking. But Nika had already opened his arms and folded her into a hug.

  Max hugged him back, laughing when Jenks’s groan echoed through the bay.

  “Get a room, you two!”

  Nika muttered a curse in too fond a tone for Max to think he meant it in the slightest. “This is sort of an abrupt subject change, but have you talked to Jenks about Luis?”

  “A week ago.” Max sighed. “Rather, I tried, but her response was a pretty definitive door in my face. Tamago said she still hasn’t spoken to either of them and she’s been drinking more at the bar in the evenings. The good news is at least she hasn’t gotten into a fight yet.”

  “Yet.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Should I talk to her? I try to stay out of her relationships, such as they’ve been, but it’s obvious she’s hurting.”

  “Let me try again,” Max said after a moment. “It might go over a little better.” She made a face. “If I get punched, though, you owe me a freebie sword hit.”

  “Duly noted.”

  Max gave him a quick touch on the arm, then ran to catch up with Jenks as the gro
up of two crews broke up and went their separate ways.

  “Hey, I was going to get changed and go to the yard to work on Zuma, but do you want to spar later today?” Jenks asked.

  “Maybe, I’ve got a call with Ria this afternoon. Jeanie’s awake and the doctors thought it would help for her to see familiar faces. I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”

  “Eh, no worries. You can always just hit me up on chat when you’re done if I’m not in quarters.”

  “Sounds good.” Max rolled her words over in her mouth until she found the ones least likely to get her hit. “Jenks, have you talked to Luis?”

  There was the slightest hitch in Jenks’s stride and then she blew out a breath. “I thought we agreed to leave it. Did Tamago ask you to talk to me? They’ve been on my ass about it for a week.”

  “No. This is just me. And you asked, but I don’t remember saying I would.” Max attempted a smile, but it didn’t soften the look on Jenks’s face. “You haven’t been yourself since we got back and as your friend, I’m concerned.”

  “Max—”

  “You know I’m bullshit at relationships,” Max said. “But I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

  Jenks stopped walking and rubbed at the back of her neck before she turned to face Max. “The truth of it is I thought this would—I gave it a go and it didn’t work. I should have known. I’m shit at relationships, too, and I’m realizing they’re not worth the work. That’s fine. I’m fine.”

  The words would have hurt coming from anyone, but from Jenks it was like someone had reached into Max’s chest and pulled her heart out. She reached for her friend, but Jenks danced away from the contact.

  “Jenks, you are worth it—how many times do we have to tell you that? Luis cares about you. If you gave him the opportunity to apologize—”

  “No.” Jenks shook her head. “Look, LT, I meant what I said about it earlier. And I do appreciate your concern, but this isn’t something you can help me with.” She sighed and then forced an expression of calm Max knew all too well. “I know what needs to be done here. I just have to do it.”

  “Jenks. That’s not—”

  “It’s fine,” she said as she headed down the corridor away from Max with a wave of her hand. “Nothing lasts forever.”

  “Fuck,” Max muttered in the silence of the empty hallway. “Nice going, Carmichael. You handled that really well.”

  “Good job out there.”

  Chae looked up at Commander Montaglione with a smile. “I appreciate the fact that you’re serious about that.”

  “I can be impressed and still determined to find a way to keep you from sneaking up on me like a damned shadow.” D’Arcy leaned against the hull of the freighter and crossed one ankle over the other. “How are your parents?”

  Chae couldn’t stop themself from looking around, but they and D’Arcy were the only ones left near the derelict freighter. “Okay, I guess? I haven’t talked to my dads for two years.”

  “At all?”

  “It was part of the plea deal. Lieutenant Carmichael offered to pass a message to them on the sly, but I didn’t want to risk it.” They wondered if it would be worth it now, and if the offer was still open.

  “She would do that.” D’Arcy laughed. “That one knows how to use her name as a force for good. If you decide to take her up on it, tell them I said hi.” He tapped Chae on the shoulder. “For real, though—you did good today. However, one of these times I’m going to catch you, so be careful.”

  Chae watched him walk away, pride blooming in their chest from the praise.

  “Hey, Chae.”

  They froze. Julia’s voice had once been enough to make their heart stutter. Now it was like someone pouring liquid nitrogen down their spine.

  Stephan had warned them that they weren’t going to interfere with Julia’s movement on the station. That it was better for Tieg’s people not to suspect anything until it was too late.

  She threw her arm around their neck in a seemingly friendly gesture, but her green eyes were hard and the next words out of her mouth made them want to throw up. “We are so proud of you for the work you did on Trappist. Crashing your own ship wasn’t something I thought you had in you.”

  “Thanks?”

  “Now, about those listening devices . . .”

  “They found them on a routine sweep. I did my best. I can put more up if you want?” Chae hoped their fake stammer was convincing.

  “No, it’s not worth it.”

  Chae pulled their racing thoughts together enough to use the tips the chief had been giving them about how to handle Julia. They’d planned for the chance that she would approach them again, but Chae hadn’t wanted to believe it would happen. Now it had, though, and they knew they had to step up.

  I won’t screw this up, too.

  “Hey, are there more of us on the station?”

  “Us?” Julia laughed. “You think you’re one of the team now? Want to have a beer after work like your Interceptor buddies?”

  “I—I just thought it would be good if I knew who else to pass information on to. Like if it should get to you in a hurry, email isn’t really the best option, is it?”

  Her grip tightened and Chae had to walk along with her or get dragged. For a moment they considered it, wondered what her reaction would be if they dug in their heels and punched her right in her throat like Jenks had taught them to do. She was alone, no bruisers to beat them down while she bled . . .

  But they didn’t. Instead, the thought that Max would want them to get whatever information they could filled their head and kept their hands loose at their sides.

  Suddenly Julia laughed. “I do like you, Chae. You’re smart. My boss appreciates smart. She has big plans. It’s good for you to be more involved with things.”

  The words felt strange in Chae’s mouth, too obvious, but Jenks had insisted if they suddenly started acting at ease with Julia now it would only tip her off. “I’d like to do more. I think I could help.” They gestured back at the bay. “We’re training so much for the prelims because the commander is in trouble for what happened on Trappist with the ship. The lieutenant is really mad at him.” They were careful not to say anyone’s name, trying to give the impression of someone who wasn’t attached to the members of their crew.

  “Really?”

  Chae could almost see the wheels turning in her head as Julia tried to figure out if Chae just didn’t know about the attempted attack on Jenks, or if they were lying to her.

  “I spent most of the time after the crash in my room. Everyone was in an uproar because Ensign Zika got hurt. They don’t tell me anything, I’m just a fucking newbie as far as they’re concerned.” Chae injected as much annoyance into their voice as they could and hoped Julia would buy it.

  “You said Carmichael was mad?”

  “Yeah.”

  “About what?”

  “Commander Vagin and Lieutenant Carmichael had a huge fight while we were on Trappist. I didn’t catch all of it, but she was mad about how he’s handled things. He told her he wasn’t going to be in for much longer, so what did it matter.”

  The commander is going to kill me, Chae thought. This wasn’t quite what they’d planned, but it was too late to take back the lie, and Julia seemed really interested.

  “‘In for much longer’?” Julia’s grip loosened. “He’s leaving the NeoG?”

  “I don’t know? Something about losing his arm and his sister being in danger and he was tired of the NeoG not keeping them safe. I didn’t hear the rest of it, I was in my room and they left the quarters.” Chae managed to wriggle free and held their hands up. “I swear, I’m doing everything you’ve all asked. I just don’t have as much access as you seem to think.”

  “You’d better get some, Chae, if you want your fathers to stay safe.”

  “I did have an idea. What if you all approached Commander Vagin?”

  “Approached him?”

  “Yeah, like to work for
you. He’s got way better access than I do. You could talk him into staying.”

  Julia stared at them, her tongue tucked into her cheek, and for a terrifying series of heartbeats Chae thought she was going to call them on their lies. Finally, though, she nodded. “It’s not a bad idea. I’ll run it by the boss.” She smiled, her face transforming into something they used to love looking at. Now it only brought a second wave of nausea and fear. “You’re super cute, Chae. I hope I don’t have to kill you. Go on.”

  They ran.

  Nika held his practice sword loosely in his hand and replayed the interaction he’d had with D’Arcy during the Boarding Action as he passed through the door of their quarters. He could hear Sapphi and Tamago as they trailed him down the hall. Max and Jenks had lagged behind, presumably to talk, and he hoped Max had luck convincing his sister to open up some.

  “Hey, Nika. You got a minute?” Sapphi asked, holding up her right hand to show him the signal jammer in it as she followed him through the door.

  “Yeah.” Nika stopped in the middle of their quarters. “What’s up?”

  “I’m testing out a new jammer. I’m reasonably sure about the security in our quarters, but I’d rather be better than sure, plus we can use this for the conference room meetings if it works out. I’ve got Tamago down the hall with a listener I built to see how well it works.”

  “Good, how’s the data collection going?” Nika would have put Sapphi onto analyzing all the information they’d been looking at since their return to Jupiter even if the doctors hadn’t said that challenging her skills would help her recovery. As it stood it was an added bonus, and did seem to help. She was much more coherent than she had been on the ride back home.

  After Sapphi had set up secure communications for them, she’d turned her sights to cataloging everything Stephan had given them on potential suspects here on the station.

  “I don’t like spying on my friends, Nika.” She dropped into the chair and he sat next to her. “Did you feel this bad the whole time you were lying to us? How did you stand it?”