The Designate

by J B Cantwell

  But the rest of us, all we could do was run for our lives.

  All four of us got up from the table at the same time, appetites squashed by reality. Avery and Frank made their way back to their own bunk room, Hannah and I to ours. I gripped her hand hard with mine and then released it. She knew what I wanted. We sat together on my bunk, and she made sure her whispers wouldn’t be heard by cameras or humans.

  “I tried, like you said,” she said. “But you saw. They only came in and out of the tunnels while the rest of us worked inside at the dig site. There was no monitoring there, though, not that I could see. A few times I grabbed his hand before he could pick up his buckets. I’d tell him your name. Tell him you were here. A couple times he looked sort of confused, almost like he was trying to remember. But that was it. That was as far as I got.”

  I sighed heavily, tears running silently down my face.

  “I don’t know what they did to them,” she said. “But maybe we can break through. He did look up a couple times. That’s not nothing.”

  Across the room Lydia whistled a little tune and headed for the bathroom.

  But I just lay back on my cot. This day had been too hard and too long. I couldn’t handle any talk of revolution. Not tonight.

  Hannah stripped off my boots and tucked me in. I stared blankly at the wall on the other side of the room. The more I learned about this place, the more the hope of victory was sucked out of me. This had all been nothing but a trap, laid long ago by the military, desperate for victims to throw at the enemy.

  It made sense, if I thought about it. Without available food, population control was not only important, but desperately needed. The seas had encroached upon our cities, and getting food to the masses was as difficult as ever, but that wasn’t enough to keep people from breeding.

  And we were the result. We were the excess. Plucked from the worst cities and towns in the most hard-hit places, they sold us a dream of wealth and glory. And we were suckered, every last one of us.

  I still was. I still wanted it all, hoped for the financial freedom a completed tour would bring.

  As I closed my eyes, I imagined life back in Brooklyn. The life I was living now wasn’t better than the one I had left behind. Maybe I should’ve just tried to run like I had always wanted to. Maybe I could’ve made it over to the Stilts, hidden out. Or, like I had thought that day at the train station, begged until I had enough money to get to Philadelphia. And then begged some more.

  There was no winning no matter which road I chose. Every door had a monster behind it. Now when I imagined the clip I had watched so many times, of the rich woman and her lemon hair, it only made my heart drop farther into my stomach. That situation wasn’t real, wasn’t really an option at all. It would never be me reclining on that velvet couch, exotic spirits in my hand. It would only ever be me running on a broken down leg, trying to evade the enemies that seemed to lurk on every side.

  The digging went on for three more weeks. Hannah had stopped giving updates about Alex, and his lack of recognition was too depressing for me to hear about day after day anyway. Then, one day, I had an idea.

  “What if we switch,” I whispered over breakfast.

  “Switch?” she said, her eyes darting around the room. “How?”

  “Let’s just do it and see what happens,” I said. “What are they going to do to us? Send us to the Burn? Lock us up? At this point that might be preferable, don’t you think?”

  My arms, though much stronger after weeks of work, throbbed every day, and there was an achy spot on my back that I couldn’t seem to stretch away.

  Hannah looked up at me, concerned. She had fought so hard to get this far into her tour, the last one she would need to do before being bumped back up to Green status. Once she was Green again, the world was open to her. She could work. She could find housing. If she got caught now, I didn’t know what would happen to her.

  “Please,” I said. “I have to try.”

  Each day the tunnels grew deeper, longer, and their ends were definitely beneath enemy territory now. It would only be a matter of days before battle began. They wouldn’t toss out two soldiers just for switching jobs. They needed all the manpower, and in our case, bait, that they could find.

  “Ok,” she said. “I’ll do it.”

  Her eyes were busy as she stared around the room, thinking hard.

  “Yeah,” she finally said. “If we can get a Prime on our side, maybe we’ll have a chance.”

  I smiled for the first time in what felt like months.

  “Alright, then,” I said.

  I got up from the table, pocketing the last nutrition square and bringing my tray across the room. When I passed by Lydia’s table, I gave a whistle, the same dog call she had given to me that first night.

  As I put my tray on the belt, I turned and saw that she was getting up from her place to follow.

  I took the pencil and paper out from beneath my pillow and headed for the line of bathroom stalls. Everyone else was still at breakfast, so she had no trouble finding me.

  “I’m going to trade today with Hannah in the mines. I need to try to get to Alex. He might be able to help us. Have you seen your brother here?”

  Her fingers drummed along the bottom of the stall wall. Though she had been trying to get me to meet up with her for these little chat sessions, I had ignored her since arriving. Everything just felt like too much. Conspiracy. Brutality. Secrets. Lies.

  But now I had my own plan.

  “Yes,” she wrote. “He’s been moved into the squad of Primes. I’ve tried talking to him, but I don’t even think he remembers me. Why have you been ignoring me? I have news from Chambers. His intel has picked up your pal, Hannah, as a spy for the military. You need to be careful.”

  A rock of panic dropped into my stomach.

  “That can’t be true. Why would she spy on me?” I wrote. “I’m just a kid.”

  “It was your scores,” she wrote. “Intelligence and valor, remember? It’s people like you that get turned against the government. They watch for it with every group. And now they’re watching you.”

  “How are we going to be able to get them out?” I wrote. “There’s no escape.”

  “There is an escape, actually,” she wrote. “Our chips.”

  My hand flew up to the square above my ear. How many times had I pulled at it? Jostled it by accident? Felt the pang of pain, like lightning through my skull?

  Without our chips …

  My mind raced. Was there really a way out? It seemed that staying loyal was just prolonging the end of our lives. I wondered about the enemy. They were portrayed to us as brutal, savage. But that couldn’t be right. Our military was producing people, the Primes, who could be used like fighting machines. That army seemed to be controlled quite easily. And surely our enemy had no such technology. When the world fell to pieces fifty years ago, so much was lost.

  Her hand fluttered under the stall, waiting. I delivered an empty note to it.

  She sighed.

  “All we need to do is get injured,” she wrote. “No one will come for us then. They’ll leave us behind.”

  “What good will that do?” I asked. “And what about your brother and Alex?”

  “We’ll wait for them,” she said. “We just need to hide long enough so that their unit is deployed. Then we can grab them, make a run for it.”

  “Are you kidding me? They don’t even know who we are.”

  “We have to try,” she argued. “We can rip out their chips.”

  I cringed at the idea.

  I wracked my brain, trying to come up with a way. It wouldn’t be easy taking down such large men. Lydia and I were both tiny in comparison. There was almost no chance that a plan like this could work.

  Almost.

  Chapter Thirteen

  My ax hit against the stone and dirt of the cave. Frank and Avery didn’t seem surprised to see me. Maybe Hannah had informed them of our plan, maybe not. Either way they were acce
pting of my sudden arrival.

  It took us a few minutes before the buckets began to fill. Soon, the first of the Primes would block the light coming from the lantern a hundred feet away and take the first of the buckets back to the pile. Only one would come. The other would mind the pile, fill it in in places that the men below couldn’t reach. Just two working on each hole. Fifty percent chance that it could be him.

  And it was.

  His face was dirty, and his eyes looked fluorescent blue beside his brown skin. Automatically he grabbed for a bucket. I took his hand before he could reach it.

  He paused, shocked at the touch.

  “Alex,” I said.

  I put my hands on his cheeks and turned his head, trying to force those eyes to look into mine. He seemed confused.

  “It’s Riley,” I said. “Your friend, Riley. No, look at me,” I said as he tried to turn his head away. “We’re best friends,” I said, tears running down into the dirt on my cheeks.

  His brows furrowed. Then he took the buckets and ripped his head away from my hold.

  As he walked away down the tunnel, my first instinct was to cry. How was I ever going to get through to him? But I had two more hours hidden in that hole, unreachable by prying eyes, to try.

  Frank and Avery kept their mouths shut, something I was grateful for, but that also worried me.

  “Please don’t tell,” I said when Alex’s form had disappeared back into the building.

  “Nothing to tell,” Frank said. “We all have people we love.”

  I nodded.

  “And you?” I asked, turning to Avery.

  “Oh, I don’t care that you’re doing it,” she said. “But I won’t get caught with it looking like I’m trying to help you. As far as I’m concerned, Hannah was sick and they put you here to cover for her. Got it?”

  “Got it,” I said, relieved. Without their help I didn’t know what would happen to me. The Burn. Punishment. Those shots they gave the Primes that always left Josh and Anna quivering.

  I tried to tell myself that I didn’t care if any of those things happened to me. It was worth it if I could connect with Alex. Somewhere buried beneath layers of brainwashing and abuse I was sure he was still in there.

  I picked up my ax and started in again on the wall. Every time he reentered the tunnel, I did the same thing. Held his hands, forced him to see me. Over the course of our shift his face had become less stoic and more confused. I took this as a good sign.

  Only five minutes remained until our shift was over. He came back into the hole for one last load of buckets.

  I let it all go, then. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his middle.

  “You have to remember,” I said.

  It wasn’t tradition in our friendship to hug, but I held on. He didn’t move. His arms didn’t raise up to embrace me. It felt like I was hugging an enormous doll, hard as plastic and unforgiving.

  I was out of options. This could be the only time I might see him for weeks, maybe months. The way the soldiers were moved around … there was no way of telling what would happen next.

  I pulled away and did the thing I had never done, not with anybody. On tiptoes, I put my hands around his face and kissed him. His skin wasn’t hard like I thought it might be. It was soft and lovely, and I found myself wondering why we had never done this before.

  Then he pulled away.

  “Look at me,” I said before he had a chance to grab his buckets.

  He seemed unable to look. Before, his stare had been blank, but it had been easy to hold his attention. Now I couldn’t get him to look up at all. Maybe that was a sign. Maybe I had gotten through this time.

  My insides fluttered, realizing what I had just done. My first kiss. My best friend. My favorite person.

  My love?

  With automatic movements, he picked up the last of the day’s buckets and ambled down the long tunnel to the hill of earth on the other side.

  Away from me.

  Away from us.

  Episode 4

  Chapter One

  It was beginning.

  On all sides of the base, sharp shooters kept their eyes out for signs of the enemy. Only once or twice had they hit anyone while I was there. An enemy soldier without camouflage. Another, careless and unknowingly showing himself from behind a tree. The defenses we had were just enough to keep the small army of Fighters away from our borders. We knew they were there, though. Everywhere.

  No one dared to go outside. It was clear that their soldiers outnumbered ours two to one. Any one of us who decided a little stroll was in order had a death wish.

  But spending every moment of every day locked up inside the base was making me nervous, claustrophobic. I wanted so badly to breathe fresh air again. As we picked away at the rock of the tunnels, I dreamed of how wonderful it would be, when the time came, to break through.

  No, I reminded myself, not wonderful. Alarming. Unprotected. No cyberthreats. Just war.

  We always won, it seemed. The United States was a force unlike any other that still remained around the sickened world.

  But things were different now, the conflicts constant and unyielding. Fuel shortages had resulted in the necessity of the burn towers. Pollution unlike anything my grandparents might have imagined was now a daily part of our lives, hanging in the air we breathed every day. It was normal for me to think that a nutrition square was just regular food. It filled you up, and that seemed to be all that mattered. I was alive, despite all the struggles our country had weathered.

  I was alive now, it seemed, for as long as the military decided I was worth keeping alive.

  Then, the day finally came. There was no early morning wake up call for the first shift. Instead, Sergeant Blackwell turned on the lights for the whole bunk room in the dead of the night.

  “Up!” he boomed. He beat his baton against an empty bed frame. “Today is the day, soldiers!”

  We looked up, bleary eyed, not understanding what he meant.

  “You have twenty minutes to dress and meet at chow. Stuff yourselves. It might be the last time you eat for several days. Today is the day that we break through the tunnels and take what is ours.”

  We sat up in our bunks, some of us still half asleep, and watched him exit the room. 0200 read the clock.

  We dressed. We ate. Most were quiet but for a few murmurs. I had expected to feel excited to go out into the world, but I didn’t. All these weeks cooped up in this underground box had left me dying for just a breath of air. But now that the time had come, I wished today would be just another ordinary day. Digging. Eating. Sleeping.

  Instead, today could be the day I died. The day I was forgotten by the world, just another casualty.

  I was terrified.

  Nobody ate much, despite Blackwell’s advice. It was like we were all waiting in line for our turn at the rollercoaster, stomachs clenched.

  When the time came, we all went back to our bunks and retrieved our packs. They were loaded with supplies. Canteens of water. Nutrition squares. Night vision goggles. Mylar blankets. Socks.

  Laid out on our beds were piles of body armor, shirts only. It was strange stuff, not stiff and hard like I would have thought, but smooth and light. I picked up the odd piece of clothing and put it on, layering my fatigues on top of it. Suddenly, I felt safer than I had in months, maybe years. The military wasn’t just throwing us to the wolves after all. The expense of such garments would be wasted if they intended for us all to die in battle.

  Next on the bunk was a bundle of what looked like fishing net. I picked it up, confused, and then I recognized it from when we had first arrived. Camouflage. I considered for a moment just carrying it instead of packing it away. But in the end I knew I would need my hands free for other things.

  I pulled on the rest of my fatigues and strapped my pack to my back. Hannah finished at the same time.

  “You ready, little Pink?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Are you?”
/>   I could tell she was getting pumped up by the energy that was beginning to flow through the room.

  “Hell yes!” she said.

  She gave me a shove that nearly knocked me back onto my bunk.

  I felt it then. Adrenaline. It replaced the terror, the worry that my life could end at any moment. We got into line to pick our weapons. I chose a machine gun, a small sniper rifle, and two handguns to hide in my boots. Hannah made similar choices. I laughed when I saw her all suited up, guns in hand.

  “You look ridiculous,” I said.

  She scowled.

  “We’ll see how ridiculous you think I am when we’re out there fighting.”

  I turned and followed the line. Back in the main hall, each of us was separated into teams of five. I wasn’t surprised when Hannah and Lydia weren’t with mine, though I did get Avery. We were each assigned a Prime to lead us. They were dressed head to toe in body armor, the only part of them visible was their faces. I searched for Alex, but he was not among the others. He would come in the second wave, then. I felt relieved that he would be covered in armor just like the rest of the Primes.

  “Good luck, then,” Hannah said before moving away to join her group.

  “Yeah,” I said, my nerves starting to flare up again. “You, too.”

  Blackwell walked to the front of the line, and as soon as we caught sight of him, all conversation stopped.

  “Harvey,” he said. One of the Primes down the line from us turned and saluted the sergeant.

  “Stanley,” he went on. The next Prime did the same as the first.

  “Burke, Frazier, Medina, Moreno, Fowler, Carlson, Silva …”

  Their movements were so similar, as if they were robots programmed to turn in just the right way, their salutes at just the right moment.