The Memory Keeper

by Lisa Stowe

  Chapter 15

  In the car, Cody stared at the cell phone. She could call her mother from here and only be five minutes late instead of driving back to the motel. She struggled for ten minutes figuring out how to use the phone before dialing, and then sat there listening to the ringing. Either May had gone somewhere or she was punishing Cody for calling late. Either way, Cody was in trouble.

  She sighed heavily, leaning her head back against the seat. It was dark and the rain was unrelenting. It was time to figure out something for dinner and head back to the motel, one more day eaten away from her allotted time here. She drove down Bank Street, passing people with hoods up or umbrellas open, hunkered against rain, and rushing to get somewhere. She pulled into the tiny parking lot of the gas station, and ran into the convenience store hoping to find something that would pass for a meal. Inside, Cell used one hand to stock a shelf with bags of chips while he texted with the other.

  “Hey, Cody,” he said, jamming a bag of chips onto the shelf so hard she heard them crinkle in pain and die in a thousand pieces. “Been running up them trails again?”

  “I wouldn’t say running." Cody stood in front of a warming case staring at egg rolls and corn dogs that looked like they had been there since before Cell was born. “You have anything healthy here to eat?”

  “I got some frozen burritos. They’ve got beans in them, and cheese. You know, your basic protein and dairy.”

  “And preservatives,” Cody said. “I’ll take a couple.”

  “Wicked.”

  Cody headed back to the motel with her protein, dairy, and preservatives, and a pint of chocolate ice cream for extra dairy. Clutching her bag in one hand and the collar of her fleece in the other, she darted through the semi gloom, rain pelting the pavement, jumping up her jeans and into her shoes. Her room offered sanctuary but as she reached it, the door that stood cracked open wasn’t welcoming at all. Cody stood with water cascading through her cropped hair and into her eyes.

  Maybe the motel cleaning service had simply forgotten to latch it on their way out. Maybe she hadn’t pulled it tight when she left. Whatever the reason, she couldn’t stand out here in the wet until she figured it out. But she didn’t want to go in, either.

  Cody reached out and using only her fingertips, tentatively pushed the door open a few more inches. She saw the shadowed room, saw her things hurled around, saw the mattress skewed off the frame. Her knees turned flaccid, her breath froze, and she backed away. But she was unable to raise her arm in time to block the fist slamming into her face.

  Pain blew up in her head, like some sort of M80 on a psychotic Fourth of July. Colors blinded behind closed eyes. Cody slammed into the door frame before ricocheting off to hit concrete. Agony seared upward and she gasped against it. Curling into a ball, she rolled on the rough ground for untold eons until the fires dimmed, the sparks quit shooting, and her lungs inflated instead of crouching fearfully behind her ribs.

  Tentatively, she unfolded and managed to get to her hands and knees. She half rose, tasted blood, and stumbled to the doorframe instead. Terror pounded through the pain and she didn’t know which way to go.

  Disregarding the grocery bag, she stumbled back to the car, locked the doors against the unknown, and pulled onto the street. A car honked. Pain blurred her vision, and her hands shook so hard she had to brace her knee against the wheel to steer.

  In yet another parking lot, Cody turned off the car, rain immediately flooding the windshield. A door opened, and she saw the watery image of Matt come out and pause, facing her direction. She shuddered, clutching herself, unable to reach for the door handle, unable to expose herself to the outside. Matt crossed to the car.

  “Unlock the door,” he said, tapping on the window. “Come on Cody, open up.”

  Cody flipped the lock button, tucked her hands back under her arms, and squeezed her knees together. She didn’t want him to see her shaking.

  Matt bent over, rain flattening his hair. “What’s wrong?”

  Cody turned toward him, teeth chattering and sending waves of pain up her jaw and fresh blood into her mouth. “Someone hit me.”

  Matt caught her chin and tilted her head to the side. His eyes went cold, his jaw tightened, and so did his fingers. “Who?" The single word was curt.

  Cody flinched against his hand on her face, and managed a shrug that sent pain up her neck.

  Shifting his grip to her upper arms, Matt carefully lifted her up and out of the car. He fished a cell phone from a pocket and dialed as he helped her to the building door.

  “Jess. Get over here." He flipped the cell shut, and supported Cody through the door into a small lobby. A woman in a forest ranger uniform was behind a counter, sorting maps.

  “Jess is on her way,” he told the woman. “I need her in my office as soon as she gets here.”

  They headed down a narrow hallway that smelled of old damp carpet. Each step resonated up the side of Cody’s head and she cupped her chin with one hand, trying to support the injury.

  “Sit,” Matt said, pulling forward a chair in a dimly lit office.

  Cody sat. Matt flipped a desk lamp on and left the room.

  Still cupping her chin, Cody tried looking around without turning her head, seeking distraction from what had happened. The office walls were filled with framed photographs, none of people. Instead there were views of mountains and streams, close-ups of wildflowers, groupings of ferns. So many filled the space that it caused the walls to disappear, pulling the viewer into the woods. The overall effect was peaceful and she soaked it in.

  “Here,” Matt said, coming back inside. “Hot chocolate. The sugar will help with shock. Any other injuries besides the hook to the jaw?”

  Cody shook her head and grimaced as pain flared again. She took the mug from Matt and held the warmth between chilled and damp fingers. There was an odd feeling starting inside, like a small flickering. She stared at the mug trying to decipher the emotion.

  “Any nausea? Dizziness?" Matt pulled a chair around from behind the desk and sat in it across from Cody. “Follow my finger,” he said, holding his hand up.

  “No dizziness,” Cody said. “A little queasy." But that didn’t account for this slow, almost quiet simmering that was starting inside.

  “Normal response to adrenaline and pain,” Matt said. He took hold of her chin again and gently lifted it. “You’re going to have a hell of a contusion. Doesn’t look broken but we need to have a doctor take a look anyway. Any loose teeth?”

  “No, but I bit my tongue.”

  “Bleeding?”

  “A little.”

  “No big deal. Drink that before it gets cold. A little blood won’t hurt chocolate.”

  There was a knock on the door and Jess let herself in. “What’s going on?”

  “I thought you locked Conrad up,” Matt said, standing.

  “I questioned him. I let him walk. You know we don’t have enough to do anything else yet.”

  “Someone cold-cocked Cody. Just like Kelly.”

  “Details,” Jess said, her voice suddenly calm and level as if a switch had flipped.

  “My motel room door was open.” Cody sipped the hot chocolate and the sweetness sent warmth fingering down to her stomach.

  “Don’t tell me you went in,” Matt said.

  “I’m not an idiot.” The harshness in her voice was new. “I pushed the door open a little, someone came out from behind it, hit me, and took off.”

  “What did you see?” Jess asked, taking notes.

  “Rain. Pavement. Stars.”

  Matt laughed and Jess glared at him.

  “Did you see the person in your room?” she asked, her voice patient.

  “No,” Cody said. “I saw a blur, a shadow.”

  “How big?” Matt asked.

  “About your size,” Cody said and this time it was Jess who choked back something that might have turned into a laugh given time.

  “No, wait,” Cody said softly, as if the
sound of her voice would drown the flash of memory. “I did see something. Color.”

  “What kind?” Jess asked.

  “Green. No, like shades of green.”

  “Camouflage,” Matt said. “Unfortunately there’s a lot of that around here. But it’s better than nothing.”

  “Definitely a place to start,” Jess said, flipping shut her notebook and standing. “I don’t think this warrants an aid car, but get her to the doctor just to be on the safe side. I’m calling this in and getting people to the motel room. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find something we can use. Meet me there when you’re done.”

  Matt took Cody’s elbow and lifted her to her feet. She winced with the movement.

  “Finish that,” he said, pointing to the hot chocolate as he pulled a forest service jacket off the back of his chair.

  Cody ignored him and set the mug on the table, then followed him out of the station to his Bronco. He opened the door for her and she climbed up to the passenger seat, moving tentatively. Her neck and shoulder were stiffening up.

  “I think…” Cody began and then had to pause to consider the odd emotion again. “I think I’m angry. But it feels like more than angry.”

  “You’re pissed off." Matt started the engine. “You have a right to be. And you’re not the only one.”

  His words felt too personal and she deflected them.

  “Did you take those pictures in your office?” She wanted diversions from thoughts that kept flashing back to camouflage.

  “Yeah.”

  “They’re good. Like being in the woods.”

  Matt didn’t respond and Cody smoothed down her damp hair then tried leaning her head back to ease the pressure. Her jaw felt three times its normal size and she tentatively fingered the swelling as Matt pulled into a small hospital lot. She followed him through sliding glass doors into an empty lobby. He continued past the waiting area, past a reception desk, and straight back to the exam room. A nurse came around a computer console.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “You have to sign in first.”

  “Find me Lorne,” Matt said.

  “Dr. Lorne is with another patient. He won’t see you until you go through the admitting process anyway.”

  “Tell him Matt Tanner is here." Matt turned to Cody. “Get up there.”

  Cody obediently stepped onto the ledge at the base of the exam gurney and listened to crisp paper crinkle as she boosted herself up and sat. It made her feel like a little kid waiting for a shot. She resisted the urge to swing her feet, knowing movement would only hurt. She also resisted the urge to look at the stirrups at the end of the gurney, uncomfortable with their implication and irritated with herself for the embarrassment. She stared at her folded hands.

  Matt sat on a rolling stool and flipped one of the stirrups. “Used to play with these things as a kid.”

  “Matt,” a man came past the curtain, so narrow and angular he was like the victim of a cartoon steamroller.

  “John. I need you to look at an assault for me,” Matt said.

  “Nice to see you, too." The doctor pulled a pen light out of a pocket. “Name?”

  “Cody Marsh,” she answered.

  “Lovely hazel eyes,” he said, aiming the light at her. “Dizziness? Nausea?”

  “I’ve already gone through the foreplay,” Matt said, standing up and pacing.

  The doctor met Cody’s eyes. “I started out in the forest service. Matt was my supervisor. I decided the medical field suited me better. Turn this way please.”

  “And just who told you what a good paramedic you were?” Matt asked. “What’s the damage?”

  “Well, the jaw doesn’t appear broken, but she’s going to be sore for a while. Open up Ms. Marsh.”

  Cody obediently opened, watching the ceiling as the doctor prodded in her mouth with a gloved finger.

  “Your tongue will feel swollen for a couple days. No damage to your teeth." He put his hands on her neck, thumbs on her jaw, and gently rolled her head. “Neck stiff?”

  Cody started to nod, winced, and answered instead. “And shoulder.”

  “I imagine you landed on that side when you fell. I’m going to write you up a prescription for pain medication. Stick to soft foods for a few days. Use ice packs, no more than ten minutes at a time. Warm salt water rinses. Any blurred vision, problems swallowing, extreme headache, come back. Expect to be stiff and sore tomorrow including that hip, and worse the next day, and then decreasing pain. Hope you like black and blue because those are the colors you’ll be seeing in the mirror for a while. This headache,” he added, gesturing to Matt, “will only go away if you ignore it.”

  “I’ll try that,” Cody said, gingerly stepping down from the gurney. Now that the doctor had mentioned her hip, she could feel the tenderness there along with stiffness in her elbow. “I think I did more damage hitting the ground.”

  “Cement’s hard,” the doctor said, as if discovering a new fact of life.

  Matt pulled the curtain back for Cody, waiting as she limped past. “Thanks John.”

  “Any time Matt." The doctor thumped Matt’s shoulder. “It gets dull in between your visits.”

  Matt led Cody to a pharmacy next to the hospital, and then back to the Bronco and the motel, the whole trip passing in silence. Cody hurt too much for small talk, and by Matt’s clearly visible scowl, he wasn’t interested in visiting either.

  In spite of the rain the motel room door stood wide open. Uniformed police moved in and out, and one stood talking to the desk clerk under a large umbrella.

  “Wait in the Bronco where it’s dry until I find out what Jess needs,” Matt said, parking.

  Cody was content to stay, listening to the rain pelt the roof in soothing music. Why was rain so peaceful to listen to and so miserable to be out in? She watched cars go by on the street, trailing rooster tails of mist behind them like earth bound comets. Her jaw throbbed and her tongue felt as thick as the cold congealed oatmeal her mother used to make. As she looked back at the motel she was startled by a sudden flicker of anger. She hadn’t come here to get involved in these people’s lives. Or their deaths. She had come here to remember her grandfather, but felt like she was being pulled away from him instead.

  Distractions.

  Just as quickly as the anger flared, it died. Kelly and Nate weren’t distractions. Ashamed, she got out of the car, wanting to escape the selfishness.

  Wincing with each step, Cody moved through rain that wrapped her in the astringent scent of wet asphalt. At the open doorway she paused, wondering if she dared go inside and get dry clothes. The room was well lit and warmth came out to brush her cheeks. Jess stood next to the bed frame talking to Matt while two officers shifted the mattress.

  “Can I come in?” Cody asked.

  “Don’t touch the door or doorjamb,” Jess said. “They’re being dusted. Use the plastic sheeting to walk on. You look like hell.”

  Cody ignored the comment on her appearance. “Can I get my things? Or at least something dry?”

  “Look stuff over first,” Jess said. “Tell me if anything’s missing. Then you can pack up.”

  “Pack up?”

  “I don’t want you staying here.”

  “I guess I can get another room,” Cody said.

  “No, I don’t want you here at all. Between this and the phone call you got, we’re going to find you someplace else to stay.”

  “How about Florence’s?” Matt said. “Rachel’d probably appreciate the help and Florence knows you.”

  “No thanks,” Cody said. “I’m not going to be an imposition. There are other motels in town. Besides, if it’s too dangerous for me to stay here, wouldn’t I be endangering Florence?”

  “I don’t want you alone,” Jess said. “And Rachel’s as good as a guard dog. But first things first. Take a look at this stuff. Any idea why someone would have been going through your room?”

  “No,” Cody said, hating the thought of someone touching what was hers
, fingering it, invading her privacy.

  Her belongings had been spread out on the box springs of the bed, and she touched them tentatively as if they belonged to a stranger. Everything was exposed for Jess, Matt, and strangers to see. She wanted to scoop up her plain panties, her dirty socks, the brush with short strands of curly red hairs stuck in it, and hide them. She scanned the things she owned, the things that defined her, and paused. Well. Maybe not everything was laid out after all.

  “There’s a few things missing,” she said, feeling that small flicker of anger flare again. If only she knew what to do with the emotion.

  “Tell me,” Jess said tersely, pulling out her pad and pen.

  “I had some pamphlets from the museum about Wallace, miscellaneous things I thought might be interesting. And my camera is gone.”

  “What kind?” Jess asked.

  “A Minolta digital.”

  “Any pictures on it?”

  Cody had to think for a moment. It had been a while since she had downloaded any pictures off the camera and onto her computer at home. Now it was all lost and her stomach filled with lead and sank.

  “There were a few of my grandfather,” she said, struggling to keep her voice even. “And I’d taken some up at the old clearing on Bounty Track. The place where my grandfather went as a child.”

  “What the hell?” Matt said, swinging around. “When did you take those pictures?”

  “I don’t know,” Cody said, confused.

  “Maybe the day you passed Kelly and Nate? Maybe during the time someone tore pages out of Kelly’s notebook? Maybe when someone was in the trees watching you?”

  “Matt,” Jess said.

  “Why the hell didn’t you remember this sooner?" Matt stepped closer and Cody backed away, her insides flinching, curling up, killing her infant anger. In his voice she heard her mother. Quietly, feeling invisible, she gathered a few possessions.

  “Ranger Tanner,” Jess said, louder. “You’re pissed and it’s not helping.”

  “You’re damn right I’m pissed,” Matt was saying to Jess. “You have any idea how much time I’ve spent up there in the woods trying to see what we missed, why a friend of mine had to die? And all along she has the answer and didn’t remember! How can you not remember something so basic?”

  “Because I’m stupid,” Cody said, so quietly neither heard her.

  “Because she’s not a police officer,” Jess said. “Because she’s been traumatized since before she got here. The death of her grandfather, seeing two men murdered, and now being assaulted. Any one of those is enough to make someone forget something that would seem trivial to a lay person.”

  Cody shoved things into her bag, picked it up, and walked through the doorway. She knew no one saw her leave. Out in the parking lot, once again in the rain and dark, she stopped, realizing her car was back at the forest ranger station. The familiar numbness that came after every confrontation with her mother rose up, smothering shame and humiliation. She’d have to walk.

  She squelched down the sidewalk, moving through pools of light from the street lamps, hearing her grandfather’s voice.

  “Why do you allow your mother to speak to you like that?”

  “Like what?” Cody had been genuinely puzzled.

  “She yells at you and demeans you,” he responded, putting his hand on her shoulder.

  “Only when I’ve messed up.”

  Shaking his head, Charles had dropped his hand to his side. “I hope you realize the truth sooner than I did.”

  Palming wetness out of her eyes, Cody wished her grandfather was there so she could point out to him she’d messed up yet again.