Wanted Dead or In Love: A Small Town Romance (The Cortell Brothers Book 3)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  He stood and headed for the door. “We should get some formula.”

  “Why?”

  He looked over his shoulder slightly, but not really looking at me. “Because you need to start weaning her off breast milk. When we leave her at my brothers’, she needs to be on formula.”

  “But-“

  “No,” he snapped. “You know this has to happen. The sooner, the better. I’ll run into town and get what we need.”

  And just like that, he was out the door, leaving me crushed and feeling like a failure.

  Josh

  It was getting closer and closer to the day I would have to say goodbye to my child. She was three months old now, and I knew that it was time, but every morning I woke up and I just couldn’t do it. I kept telling myself that the next day I would be stronger. I left everything with her up to Carly. I couldn’t face her, I couldn’t watch my little girl and savor those moments knowing that I had to leave her. So, I busied myself with taking care of things around the house. I pretended that I didn’t have time for either of them. It was the only way to protect my heart. But slowly, I was growing more and more distant from Carly, to the point that we barely spoke two words to each other in one day.

  I finished washing up after cleaning out the fireplace. I had been getting the cabin ready for when we left. We had to make sure that we left no trace of us behind, and that it was in the condition we had found it in. After showering, I headed into the kitchen to make some dinner. I needed something to do so that I didn’t have to watch Alessa.

  “I can make dinner tonight,” Carly said, walking up with Alessa in her arms.

  I glanced up, but quickly looked away, not wanting to take in those chubby cheeks or beautiful blue eyes. “It’s fine. You take care of…her, and I’ll make dinner.”

  “She has a name,” Carly snapped.

  I pulled out the cutting board and a knife, gripping the handle a little too tightly. “I know,” I bit out.

  “Then why don’t you use it?”

  “I wasn’t aware that I had to use her name a certain number of times per day.”

  “You don’t say her name at all. In fact, you don’t even look at her.”

  “I do too,” I said angrily, turning away to grab the vegetables. But she followed me, refusing to let this go.

  “Do you think I don’t know what you’re doing? Leaving me to take care of Alessa so it’s easier on you when we leave her behind? It’s not going to work, and if you keep it up, you’ll feel worse after we leave her.”

  “I’m not ignoring her. I’ve been busy. Besides, you’re her mother. It’s more important that she spends time with you right now.”

  She scoffed. “You’re such a coward, and I never thought I would say that.” My eyes snapped up to meet hers, and I was ready to argue back, but she kept going. “When you ran with me, you didn’t know anything about what it was like to be on the run. But you were strong and went along with everything that had to be done. When we couldn’t get out of that motel, you did what you had to. But now that we have to give up our daughter, you won’t even look at her. Do you think it’s not hard for me? Do you think that I want to do this? She needs love right now, and even if she won’t remember me, I’m going to give her everything I have now.”

  “What do you want me to do?” I shouted. “Do you want me to hold her and pretend that everything’s going to be fine? How is that going to help her?”

  “It’s not, but at least she’ll know you loved her!”

  “She won’t know anything. She’s three months old. There’s not a damn thing she’ll remember, so why the hell should I torture myself?”

  She blinked back tears, tilting her head in sympathy as she stared at me. “So you know what it’s like to hold her and love her. So you can cherish the few memories you’ll have of her. To remember her smell and how small she is in your arms. To remember her smile,” she sniffled. “We may have to give her up, but I will never forget her. Don’t waste any more time ignoring when you could be breathing in every last second of her. We only get this short time together.”

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. I didn’t want to put myself through that. I didn’t want to remember any of it. I wished it was all a bad dream.

  Carly walked around the counter and turned so I could see Alessa resting her head on Carly’s shoulder. She was blinking at me, tired from the long day. When Carly held her out to me, I almost refused, but my heart just couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to hold her in my arms. It had been a month since I’d last picked her up, and in that month, I had never felt so empty living with someone in the same house.

  Tentatively, I reached out and took her from Carly. She was so small in my arms. I had forgotten what it felt like to hold such a fragile life in my hands.

  “Go, I’ll make dinner,” Carly urged me.

  I nodded and walked into the other room, rubbing Alessa’s back as I walked in slow circles around the room. I watched as her tired eyes slowly drifted shut. I picked up her hand and slid my thumb inside her hand, amazed at how tiny she really was. I knew this was it. It had to be tomorrow. I couldn’t keep her here any longer and willingly walk away from her after this.

  Josh

  “Are you ready for this?” I asked Carly as we pulled up to the same copse of trees that we parked at the last time we were near my parents’ house. She glanced back in the backseat at our daughter and nodded.

  “This is what’s best for her.”

  I took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. I knew this was hard for her. Over the past three months, we had come to love our little girl so much, but staying at that cabin any longer was dangerous. We knew that Alessa was healthy and that putting her in my brothers’ care was best for her now. They may not know anything about kids, but I knew they would step up and do whatever was needed.

  As for me, I had been distancing myself from my daughter as best as possible over the last few weeks. Growing up in such a loving family, I knew giving away my child would be impossible, but it was a necessity. So, no matter how much it killed me, I took a step back and spent less and less time with Alessa every day. I needed that for my own sanity.

  “Alright, let’s do this.”

  I got out and opened the back door, zipping the cover over the car seat to block the cold from getting to her. I handed the car seat off to Carly and grabbed all the bags we had for Alessa. Everything had to go. We couldn’t hold on to anything. If Carly’s family ever caught up to us, there could be no signs of us having a baby, not even a picture of her.

  We walked through the fields to my old family home, hoping that they still lived there. Once we reached the porch, I saw we were in for a bigger surprise than I realized. There were trucks parked outside, which meant that the whole family was there, if not more people.

  “I need to go check it out first. You stay here,” I said, setting the bags down by the side of the house. In the shadows, no one would see her. She nodded to me as I crept along the side of the house. Looking into one of the kitchen windows, I could see all my brothers, minus Derek, inside. There were two other women there, whom I could only assume were girlfriends. I had hoped to just catch one of them, but it was now or never. We had to be out of here within the hour, and we couldn’t afford to come back here another time.

  Opening the door, they all turned and froze. I stepped into the light and watched as all their faces dropped.

  “Josh,” Eric said in surprise.

  “Am I interrupting?” I asked, not sure what else to say after all this time.

  “Happy New Year!” Joe said, raising his glass and taking a long drink.

  I swallowed hard and stared at all of them. I hadn’t really thought about what I would do with all of them here, but I needed to get this show on the road. It was too cold outside for Alessa.

  “I’m going to turn off the lights,” I said slowly, “and I need you all to just go with me on this,
no questions asked.”

  “What-“

  “No questions asked,” I said to Eric. “Please.”

  He nodded and I flipped off the lights and slipped back outside. I walked around the side of the house and grabbed the bags. Carly stood, trepidation on her face.

  “Are you sure about this?” she asked.

  I nodded. “It’ll be fine.”

  I headed back to the porch, Carly following behind me with the baby. When I reached the door, I slowly opened it and stepped inside.

  “What’s going on?” Eric asked. When I stepped aside and allowed Carly inside, I heard one of the girls gasp. I quickly shut the door and locked it behind me.

  “We need to go upstairs where we won’t be seen.”

  I could barely make out their shapes in the darkness, but then Eric took charge of the situation. Even seven years later, I still remembered every step of my childhood home.

  “Let’s go.”

  I followed behind him up the stairs. It was like a herd of elephants as we all ascended the stairs. Eric headed toward the master bedroom, but then paused outside the door across from it. Glancing back at Carly and the car seat, he shoved the door open and motioned for us to enter. I walked in and stopped when I saw a nursery already set up. Stepping further in, Carly set down the car seat and opened the cover, unbuckling our little girl.

  “What the hell is going on, Josh?” I couldn’t tell who was talking in the dark. I walked over to the window and looked outside. I was itching to get on the road, nervous that someone had followed us here. When I didn’t see anyone or anything suspicious outside, I turned back to my family, who were all standing just inside the room and staring at us. I could barely make out their faces in the dark.

  “What’s with all the cloak and dagger shit?” Joe asked. “And who’s the chick?”

  “This is Carly. And our child,” I said, turning away from the window. Even in the dark, I could see the shock on their faces.

  “Your…” Eric let out a long sigh and then walked into the hallway, flipping on the light. I immediately ducked down, moving away from the window. “What the hell?”

  “Shut the fucking door.”

  He turned and shut the door, but left it open just enough to let in some light. I crawled over to where Carly sat with Alessa in her arms. As I stared down at our daughter, I found this harder and harder to do. “Carly and I need one of you to take our daughter and care for her. You are never to tell anyone who her parents are or how she came to you. We can’t stay, but I need to know that one of you will step up and take care of her for us,” I said, my voice cracking slightly.

  “Whoa, wait a minute,” Will said. “You show up here after seven years. We thought you were dead, man. And now you’re telling us you’re married and have a daughter-“

  “We’re not married,” I corrected.

  “Of course, you’re not married,” Will muttered. “God forbid anyone in this family actually be married before they get a woman pregnant.”

  I glanced around the room at the furniture, but other than that, there were no signs of children actually living here. “What are you talking about?”

  “First Eric, then Robert,” Will sighed.

  “Hey, Robert was first. Let’s keep the timelines straight,” Eric cut in. “And what do you mean you need one of us to take your baby? What the hell is going on? And why aren’t you dead?”

  “Thanks,” I said with a huff. “Sorry to disappoint.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” he snapped. “We looked for you for years. Hell, I still have an investigator looking into you. We’ve turned up nothing in all these years. You just vanished one day, and now you’re standing here in front of us and shoving your kid off on us with no explanation.”

  “I don’t have time for this. Either you take her or we’ll have to figure something else out.”

  “Why doesn’t Carly introduce the baby to Anna and I?” one of the women said. “We can give you guys some time to talk.”

  “We don’t have time,” I stressed.

  “Josh,” Carly cut in. She shook her head slightly at me. “A half hour. Give them that.”

  I sighed and leaned over to kiss her. “I love you,” I murmured in her ear before standing and walking out of the room. I headed downstairs, wanting to keep an eye outside. Everything felt off, but there was nothing to show that anyone had followed us. Still, I pulled out my gun and held it by my side. I couldn’t shake the feeling that if we stayed too long, it would be too late for all of us. I took a position at the window and stared out into the darkness. Eric turned on the light on the oven range to give a small amount of light.

  “Tell us what the hell is happening,” Robert demanded. “Do you need a lawyer? And why the hell do you have a gun?”

  “I don’t need a lawyer, and the weapon is for protection.”

  “Then what the hell is this?” Andrew asked. “Who disappears for seven years?”

  I wasn’t sure how much I could tell them, but they deserved answers. After all, I was asking them to take in my child. They needed to know what they were up against.

  “Anything I tell you tonight, you take to your grave.”

  Joe raised his hand like we were in school. “So, I take it this isn’t one of those times that I stream live on the town Facebook page.”

  “What?”

  “Oh, it’s a thing we do,” he motioned to my brothers. “See, one of us gets into some kind of trouble, usually with a woman, and then it turns into this whole Facebook thing….” He stared at the serious expression on his face and cleared his throat. “Right, so not one of those times. Good to know.”

  I turned back to the window and watched outside as I started telling them what had happened. “Seven years ago, I met Carly when I saw her on the side of the road. She had a flat tire and I stopped to help her. But before I could do anything, someone tried to kill us. We just barely escaped and it became clear to me pretty quickly that I couldn’t go home.”

  “Who was after you?” Will asked.

  “I thought it was her abusive husband. And I thought that I could just go to the police, but then these guys came looking for us.” I stared out the window as I remembered that day. “The plan was that I was going to ditch her and find you guys, figure out a way to get out of whatever the hell she got me into. But then these guys showed up…They said their boss wasn’t going to leave any witnesses. They were tracking me because of my truck, and they made it pretty damn clear that they weren’t going to stop until I vanished, along with all my family. I knew then that I couldn’t go to any of you. I was just a bystander. I had nothing to do with Carly, but they were willing to kill me because I was with her. They took my truck and made it look like I disappeared. I would be a missing person that no one ever heard from again.”

  I finally turned to them and they all just stared at me, disbelief on their faces.

  “Seriously? Is that the best you could come up with?” Andrew laughed.

  “Yeah, you can tell us,” Joe prodded. “You found the chick and wanted to run off with her, right?”

  I just stared at them. I knew what I was saying was unbelievable. This whole thing was hard to swallow, but I needed them to know how serious this was.

  “We were on the run for a few months,” I continued. “At the time, I thought Carly’s name was Hannah. I thought she was this timid, scared woman that was running from her abusive husband. And I figured he was pretty damn powerful if he was willing to kill me over it. We were hiding out in Kansas, and one morning, she got this text, letting her know that she had been found. That was when I found out who she really was.”

  “Who was she?” Joe asked with rapt attention.

  “She’s the daughter of Giovanni Scavuzzo.”

  Eric’s brows furrowed. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

  “Because he just died,” Robert supplied. “Two weeks ago, the head of the Italian crime family, based out of Chicago, died of cancer.”
r />   That was news to me. Carly and I had been so wrapped up in our own shit that we hadn’t checked in on the family.

  “Dude, you hooked up with the mob?” Andrew asked in astonishment.

  “I didn’t hook up with the mob. Hell, I didn’t even know who she was at that point.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you go to the police?”

  “Do you really think the police could protect me from the mafia?” I asked Eric. “Don’t you think I tried to find any way out of this that I could?”

  “Uh…so, does this mean we’re all in danger?” Joe asked. “Because I’m part of this MC now, and they’re all pretty kick ass. I’m just saying, if you need guns…”

  Will slapped him upside the head. “Yeah, he’s going to go to a biker gang for help when he has a brother that’s ex-military.”

  “There’s no need to get abusive. I was just offering a suggestion.”

  “We won’t be going to anyone for help. The whole point of us coming here was to leave Alessa with one of you.”

  “You can’t just walk away from your kid,” Eric admonished.

  “I have to,” I said fiercely. “She’s not safe with us out there.”

  “And what makes you think she’d be any safer here?” Robert asked. “If they’re really still after you, after all these years, they’ll come here for you.”

  “That’s why we came in the middle of the night. That’s why I can’t stay any longer.”

  “Whoa,” Eric said, holding up his hands. “This is insane. How do you even know they’re still after you? It’s been seven years.”

  I set my gun on the table and unzipped my coat, then yanked up my shirt, showing off the scar from my bullet wound. “This happened about a year ago. We’d been moving around every six months, always watching our backs, and we’d been safe since the first time they found us. We were walking out of the grocery store and they were waiting for us. We just barely escaped. We’ve been lucky since then, but that luck won’t last forever, and I won’t let my daughter get wrapped up in this.”