Wanted Dead or In Love: A Small Town Romance (The Cortell Brothers Book 3)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  “Of course.”

  “If you ever feel like things are changing for us…if you ever want a different life, don’t stay with me out of obligation. Tell me, so that…”

  I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He didn’t look at me, so I gave him a reason to. “There will never be another man for me. Levi is only a friend, and that’s all it will ever be between us.” His eyes slowly slid up to my face. “I know you feel threatened by him, but there’s no reason to. You have my heart and that’s not something easily earned. I promise, I will never do anything to make you think there’s something else going on. I will always be honest with you, and I will always let you know if I’m talking to him or seeing him.”

  His hand slid to my neck and he pulled me closer, his lips brushing against mine. “I love you. I can’t stand the thought of ever losing you.”

  “You won’t.”

  “Good. Let’s go check out our new place.”

  He kissed me again and then swung his door open, walking around to my side to open the door. I took his hand and smiled up at him. Things were finally settling into place. After a quick tour of the townhouse, I was excited to get moved in. We would finally have our own space, someplace we could call our own. There would be no more running for our lives or constantly watching out the window for a threat. We were beginning our lives together. After eleven years on the run, I could finally have a life.

  Carly

  Levi: Are you ignoring me?

  I stared at the phone, not sure how to respond. The past few weeks with Josh had been amazing. We were starting to really find our footing in his hometown, and I didn’t want to lose what we had going for us. But I had been putting off Levi, sending him excuses why I couldn’t go see him. And I had promised him that he wouldn’t lose me.

  “Earth to Carly,” Anna said, waving her hand in front of my face. “What’s going on? You just spaced out.”

  I glanced in the kitchen where the guys were playing poker and then back to Kat and Anna. Leaning forward, I whispered. “I keep getting these messages from Levi. He wants to see me.”

  “You’re still talking to him?” Kat asked, her eyebrows shooting up. “I thought you broke that off with him.”

  “There’s nothing to break off. We’re not seeing each other, and Josh knows that I’m still talking to him. I told him I would always be honest with him.”

  “So, what’s the problem?” Anna asked.

  I chewed my lip, unsure of how to put this. “At first, when I saw Levi in the hospital, I felt guilty that he was there. I felt like it was my fault and it was really hard to deal with the fact that if I hadn’t reached out to him, he wouldn’t have been hurt. But now…I’m starting this life with Josh and things are going really well. I just don’t want anything to rock the boat.”

  “Well, you’re definitely doing that,” Kat snorted. “Look, I don’t know Josh that well, but I know his brothers, and I can guarantee that none of them would be okay with knowing you’re still seeing Levi. And if they’re not okay with it, chances are Josh isn’t either. He’s just saying that because he doesn’t want to lose you.”

  “But if I cut off Levi completely, doesn’t that make me a terrible person? He went to my father’s house, knowing that it could get him killed. It just feels really shitty.”

  “He made that choice,” Anna said, taking a sip of her wine. “You can’t hold yourself responsible for other people’s decisions.”

  “But we all knew that Levi was putting himself at great risk and he had no idea what we were really doing. We used him. I knew that it was dangerous and I agreed to it. It’s not like he did it without my knowledge.”

  “Let me ask you something,” Kat said. “Why didn’t you trust him then, but you feel you should trust him now? Is it only because of what he did for you?”

  “I think…when you’re on the run, you feel like trusting anyone is dangerous. I had been with Josh for so long, I just couldn’t bring myself to put my faith in anyone but him. And now that we’re not running, I want to be able to trust other people again.”

  “Yeah, but you’re wanting to trust someone that wants more than you can give. You said that you already tried to break things off with him and he begged you to stay with him. That doesn’t sound like someone that just wants to be your friend.”

  I knew what Anna was saying, but walking away was harder than just saying I was going to do it.

  “If you want my advice, I would go make a solid break with Levi. If he really does have feelings for you, you’re being cruel to him by not doing that.”

  “I’ve already told him-“

  “It doesn’t matter what you’ve told him or what he’s said to you. If he’s still texting you and calling you, he’s hoping you’ll come back to him. And the longer you wait to end things, the harder it’s going to be.”

  “Anna, do you agree?” I asked, hopeful she would say something different.

  “I’m with Kat on this. That man is still in love with you, and if you wait, it’s going to be harder on you and it’s going to end up hurting Josh.”

  Sighing, I picked up my phone and texted Levi back.

  Me: I’m coming to see you tomorrow.

  I took a deep breath as the elevator rose to the penthouse floor. The doorman beside me was watching me out of the corner of his eye. It was like he could tell that I was ready to bolt at any moment. When the doors opened, he nodded to me and I gave a tentative smile. I stepped out and was immediately wrapped in a hug by Levi. His body was smashed up against mine and it took everything I had not to wiggle out of his grasp.

  When he finally released me, I smiled and took a step back, brushing my hair out of my face. “It’s good to see you.”

  “Good to see me? It’s been weeks. Why did you stay away?”

  “I just…it’s been a lot of work, trying to get set up in a new place, a new town.”

  “You could have stayed with me. I would have helped you out.”

  “I know, but I’m with Josh.”

  “And you were mine before you were his.”

  His eyes were intense as he watched me. I swallowed hard and looked around his place to distract myself from the uncomfortable feeling building inside me.

  “What’s going on?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Levi, I came here to tell you…to tell you that…”

  I fidgeted, trying to get the words out, but that sad look on his face was making this so damn difficult.

  “Tell me what, Carla?”

  “I can’t see you anymore.”

  His face turned hard and he turned away from me, his fists clenching hard as he moved to the window. “This was his idea, wasn’t it?”

  “No, this was my decision. Levi, I know how you feel about me, and I don’t feel the same way. If I keep in touch with you, keep talking to you, it’s only going to make you think that something could happen with us.”

  He spun around and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me flush against him. “And you can honestly tell me that you feel nothing when you see me? You don’t remember me touching you? You don’t remember all those nights we used to stay up talking about our future?”

  “Of course, I do, but-“

  “But nothing,” he spat. “I won’t give up. I know that you still want me. You can’t just wipe away everything we had. Time might have separated us, but you and I both know that our connection is still there.”

  I pushed against him, but he held me tight. “Levi, it’s not like that for me. Yes, I still feel a connection with you, and that’s why this is so hard. I know that I’ll never want you the way I did then. And even then, it was only the dreams of a teenager being forced to marry someone chosen for her. But I’ve been gone a long time now, and I’ve grown up. Those feelings are no longer there.”

  “Prove it,” he whispered.

  “What?”

  “Prove it,” he said harshly. “If you really feel nothing for me, then prove it.”


  I shook my head, not sure how I was supposed to prove it to him, but before I could do anything, his lips came crashing down on mine in a bruising kiss. I pushed against him, needing to get away, but he held me close, urging me to remember what we had. I could still feel the connection, and I knew this was bad. If I gave in even a little, he would assume that I wanted him, but the only thing I wanted in this moment was to get back to Josh and Alessa.

  When he tried to deepen the kiss, I finally got some leverage and pushed off him. Stumbling back, I wiped at my lips, refusing to look at him.

  “You still can’t admit it,” he scoffed. “You still think you want him.”

  “I know I want him. I’m sorry, Levi. I really am.”

  “You led me on,” he spat. “All those times you called me for help, I thought it was because you still wanted me, still trusted me. And when I offered you everything a few weeks ago, I thought for sure that this was a new beginning for us.”

  “I told you-“

  “I don’t care what you fucking told me! This was supposed to be our chance. You still love me. You still want me, and I’m not going away. I’ll make you see.”

  I could tell this wasn’t going to get any better, and sticking around here wasn’t going to solve anything. He was refusing to see this for what it was.

  “Goodbye, Levi.”

  I turned and hit the button on the elevator, waiting impatiently for the doors to open. I could feel his gaze on my back and him walking closer to me. I hit the button again impatiently, just wanting to get out of here. I wasn’t afraid or sad. I was mad at myself for what was so clear. I had led him on unknowingly, and now I had hurt him. That was something I could never forgive myself for.

  The doors finally opened and I stepped inside, turning around to face him one last time. What I saw wasn’t a man that was broken or someone that was ready to fight. I saw a man that was angry. I pushed the button for the lobby and watched his fists clench as the doors slid closed.

  When I walked through the door to our townhouse, I practically ran to Josh as I saw him step out of the kitchen. I threw myself in his arms and kissed him hard. His arms wrapped around me as he pulled me in tighter.

  “Not that I don’t love this kind of greeting, but what’s all this about?”

  I grinned up at him. “I went to see Levi, and I told him I wouldn’t be seeing him anymore.”

  His face shuttered with relief, but he didn’t jump for joy like I thought he might. “How did he take it?”

  “Well, I’m pretty sure that he hates me now, but it was the right thing to do.”

  “What made you decide to do that?”

  I bit my lip and stepped back. “I was talking with Kat and Anna after I got a text from him. He wanted to know if I was ignoring him.”

  “Okay,” he said slowly.

  “See, I thought that if I kept our friendship going, that would somehow make up for the fact that I basically used him.”

  “You didn’t use him,” he cut in. “He wanted to help. He insisted on it.”

  “I know that, but my head didn’t believe that. But Kat told me that by not ending things, I was leading him on. She said I was being cruel to drag it out.”

  He blew out a breath. “Well, had I known that was all it would take to get you to walk away from him, I would have said that a long time ago.”

  “No gloating,” I said, smacking his chest. “Now that you have me all to yourself, what are you going to do with me?”

  He grinned wickedly at me and slid his hand down my back, gripping my ass. “I’m going to take you upstairs,” he said, sliding his tongue along my neck.

  “Yeah?”

  “And I’m going to strip you out of these clothes that you last saw Levi in…”

  “I like where this is going,” I grinned.

  His lips sucked my earlobe into his mouth with a little nibble. “And then I’m going to tell you to get your ass dressed because we’re going to my brother’s for dinner.”

  I pulled back, my mouth dropping open. “What?”

  “Sorry,” he grinned. “Jack and his wife are coming over for dinner to celebrate.”

  “Celebrate what?”

  “Being free to live our lives again. Jack has always been a good friend. It’s only right that he be there to celebrate with us.”

  I sighed, knowing I couldn’t tell him no. We would have more time alone, but for now, if he wanted to spend every day with his family, I would just have to suck it up. I had him to myself for seven years.

  “Fine, I’ll get dressed. You can get Alessa ready.”

  “She already is. I just have to put her in her car seat.”

  “I’ll be quick.”

  I ran upstairs and was back just a few minutes later. The great thing about Josh’s family is that they were all really chill. I didn’t have to worry about impressing any of them. They were a come-as-you-are family. We drove over to his brother’s house, both of us grinning and feeling so carefree. It was the first time that I really had hope for the future. With Levi always on my mind, it was hard to really move on. But now that was behind us, and there was nothing stopping us from just being happy.

  “Hey, it’s…” Joe looked at me, his head tilting to the side in thought.

  “Carly?” I said, hoping to help him along.

  He jovially came down the steps, walking up to me and taking the car seat from me. “You know, I was thinking, I’ve always called Kat quiche-girl, but I never gave Anna a nickname. And then I realized I hadn’t given you a nickname.”

  “I don’t need a nickname,” I said, hoping that I didn’t end up with something just as terrible as Kat had.

  “You can call her Hannah,” Josh said, wrapping his arm around me.

  “Why would I call her Hannah?” Joe asked. “She doesn’t look like a Hannah.”

  “Because that’s what she said her name was when we first met.”

  “And you believed that?” Joe scoffed. “Nah, she’s too deadly looking for a Hannah.”

  “Just remember that when you decide to give me a nickname,” I grinned.

  Jack’s truck pulled up behind us and Josh went over to say hi. Joe must have decided that I didn’t need Alessa anymore, because he took her inside without saying anything else. Natalie walked over to me with a grin, carrying a pie and her son, Brody, on her hip.

  “Was I supposed to make something?” I asked, a little panicked.

  “No,” she laughed. “I just like making pies.”

  “Best pies you’ve ever tasted,” Jack grinned proudly.

  “Yeah, I’m never making pies. Cooking and I don’t really mix very well.”

  “Baby, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Josh said, with a smirk. “You can make a cup of noodles better than anyone I know.”

  I shoved him, laughing when he tripped over his feet and fell to the ground.

  “How did you survive with her for seven years?” Jack asked. “She can totally kick your ass.”

  “I used sex as a distraction.”

  I titled my head playfully and grinned. “Oh, is that what that was?”

  “The distraction?” Josh asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I meant the sex. I never would have known that’s what you were trying to do.”

  “Oh, damn,” Jack laughed. “I like her, man. She’s perfect for you. I like a woman that can hand you your balls.”

  Josh looked at Natalie and shook his head. “Really? She seems so nice.”

  Jack slapped him on the back as they headed up the porch steps. “The innocent looking ones are always the ones you have to watch out for. At least you knew what you were getting into.”

  I rolled my eyes and took the pie from Natalie, walking inside with her. The guys had already made their way into the living room, leaving the women in the kitchen once again.

  “Ooh, pie!” Anna squealed. “I love pie.”

  “You love any bakery item,” Kat countered.

  “Hey, it’s not like I
have to fit into a wedding dress anytime soon. I can enjoy all the pie I want.”

  “I heard that,” Robert shouted. “And we’re getting married very soon! Like next week!”

  “You wish!” she shouted back.

  “How does that work exactly?” I asked Kat. “I mean, since the wedding never happened, do they expect you to do it again?”

  “No way in hell. If I never see a bowl of chili again, I’ll be a happy woman.”

  “I think you’ve got the town appeased for now,” Natalie said, “but it won’t last forever. They’ll be expecting another wedding very soon.”

  “They can stuff it,” Kat grumbled. “I refuse to have chili and pigs in a blanket at my wedding. Besides, between all Eric’s brothers, there’s enough chaos to go around.”

  “I think you should take him skydiving,” Natalie grinned. “Make it just as spectacular as the engagement.”

  “I’m beginning to think he doesn’t like my surprises,” Kat said. “I asked him if he wanted to get another tattoo for our wedding and he just glared at me. So, then I suggested that for our next challenge, we should do something simple, like a destination wedding. I thought it would be fun, but he started rattling off statistics for dying in a plane crash.”

  “So, what you’re saying is that you’re never traveling anywhere unless it’s by car,” I laughed.

  “You’ve been all over,” Kat said. “Where was your favorite place to live?”

  “With Josh or before Josh?”

  “Either.”

  I thought about it, but there was only one place that I could think of that I would ever go back to. “The cabin in Idaho. That was where I took Josh after he took that bullet for me. We needed someplace for him to recover, and it was very peaceful.”

  “That was also the place you had Alessa,” Natalie said knowingly.

  “Well, there is that. But this place comes in a close second. Although, if we’re going to live here, Josh is going to have to talk to his brothers about announcing every detail of our lives to the town. That’s just weird.”

  “Speaking of living here,” Natalie grinned. “Jack and I got a little something for your place. It’s out in the truck. Come on. Let’s go get it.”