Turn and Burn

by Lorelei James

  around and I deserve this?”

  Kyle shook his head. “Just making an observation. I’m also wondering why you came to me. Because my wife and Tanna are good friends?”

  “No. Tanna’s goin’ through some stuff and I don’t know how to help her deal with it. I offer to talk, but she changes the subject. Then I found out she can talk to that smarmy douche bag Sutton Grant, because evidently he understands.”

  “You jealous?”

  “Hell, yes, I’m jealous. But mostly I’m frustrated.” He sighed. “I know she’s hurting on a much deeper level than she’ll let me see. So again, it makes it seem like what we have is only on the surface, but I know better. I just don’t know how to get through to her that she can trust me.”

  “You never got seriously injured during the years you played football, did you?”

  “I missed a few games here and there. But something that affected a whole season? No. That’s part of the reason I didn’t audition for a pro team. Playing with the big boys pretty much guaranteed that streak would come to an end. Why?”

  “It wasn’t your life anyway. You loved the sport, but you knew it wouldn’t be your career,” Kyle pointed out. “Football never defined you.”

  “No.”

  Kyle drank his beer and remained quiet for a few moments. “So you don’t know what it’s like to have the one thing that defines you taken away—not by choice.”

  “You’ve been there. Dealing with recovery time after an almost career-ending injury. What was it like? The year you took off from bull riding?”

  “One of the worst years of my life.”

  Fletch’s stomach sank to his toes.

  “I had to live with my mom and her loser boyfriend. I couldn’t work. I had to live off my mom’s charity. My friends were busy with their lives and Cheyenne seemed a world away from Rawlins. During rehab, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get on the back of a bull again. I had a bitter taste of mortality and I didn’t like it. I had nothin’. I felt like nothin’. Sitting on my mom’s couch, day after day, wondering what the hell I was gonna do with myself if I ever did find my balls and get on a bull again.”

  “Christ, Kyle. I had no fucking idea.”

  He shrugged. “No one did. I had a lot of pride. Even now when my life is better than I ever hoped, I carry shame about that dark period in my life. And no, I haven’t talked to Celia about it. Would she understand? It doesn’t even matter because I don’t ever wanna be ‘less than’ in her eyes. It was hard enough bein’ ‘less than’ in my own.”

  This wasn’t what Fletch wanted to hear.

  But isn’t it what you expected?

  “In Tanna’s case, not only did she have to deal with an injury and the loss of her horse, right before that she lost her way of life. Tanna has always defined herself as a Texas ranch girl. Now she’s not that. Now she’s not a barrel racer either.”

  Fletch chugged his beer.

  “I don’t know Sutton, but I remember the buzz the year he got injured. Everyone considered him done for. Some of them bulldoggers can bounce back from surgery and in three to six months they’re back in the game. With all the problems Sutton had with that wreck . . . like I said, I probably would’ve walked away. He didn’t. He came back stronger than ever. So he has a different perspective.”

  “Couldn’t Tanna have come and talked to you?”

  “Tanna is Celia’s friend first, and Celia has already told her to suck it up, get back on the damn horse and do what she was born to do—race around barrels.” Kyle sighed. “Love my wife, but if I was Tanna, I wouldn’t wanna talk to either of us.”

  “So I’m screwed. Tanna won’t take my support, because I don’t understand what she’s goin’ through. But she’s fine playing grab ass with me as a diversion until she moves on.”

  “I think you’ve hit it right on the head—sorry to say.”

  “And if I break it off with her because I want more from her emotionally, she’ll take it as a sign I don’t care enough about her to stick around and try to crack that tough shell.”

  “Yep.”

  “Fuck.”

  Kyle clapped him on the back. “I know hang in there ain’t the advice you were hopin’ for, but it’s all I’ve got.”

  “Thanks, Kyle. I appreciate it.”

  They wandered back to the house, exchanging random small talk. After Fletch promised to keep in touch, he climbed in his truck, needing time alone to process everything.

  But he had a stop to make first.

  As Fletch walked into the barn at Eli’s place, he decided there was no reason for niceties. He’d known Sutton for a few years, if only in passing.

  So where was Mr. World Champion Bulldogger?

  He saw Sutton in the far stall brushing his horse. Of course it was a damn nice piece of horseflesh.

  Sutton turned and smiled. “Hey, Doc.” Then he wandered over and rested his forearms on the top of the stall. “If you’re looking for Eli, he had to run an errand.”

  “I’m not looking for him. I’m looking for you actually.”

  Every bit of friendliness evaporated from Sutton’s eyes.

  “And I can see by the way you’re giving me the stink-eye you know exactly why I’m here.”

  “Yeah, I do. But I wanna hear you say it anyway.”

  Fletch leaned closer. “Keep your fucking hands off Tanna.”

  “You know you wouldn’t have the balls to say that if Tanna was within earshot because she’d kick ’em into your throat for treating her like a piece of property.”

  “Maybe I would say it. Because make no mistake, boy, she is with me.”

  “You sure?” he taunted.

  “Shut up, right now, or—”

  “Or what? You gonna beat the fuck outta me?” Sutton snapped his finger in front of Fletch’s face. “Get in line.”

  Lightning fast, Fletch crushed Sutton’s hand in his big fist. “Don’t. Ever. Fucking. Snap. At. Me.”

  “Jesus. All right. Let go of my hand.”

  Fletch released him. The fear in this son of a bitch’s face was worth the momentary lapse in control.

  “You are one scary motherfucker.” Sutton squeezed his hand open and closed. “Why don’t you ever show people that ‘me hulk’ side of you?”

  “I’m the cool-headed professional, remember?”

  “But if you could beat the fuck outta someone, you would, wouldn’t you?”

  “Yep.” Fletch flashed his teeth in a non-smile. “And you would be first on the goddamned list.”

  “I’d tussle with you. It’s a little-known fact that cowboys like to fight,” he said with a straight face. “You might have size on me, but I’ve got youth on my side.”

  The gall of this kid.

  “But I’ll speak my piece to you. And to her. Because I won’t become another guy in her life who enables her.”

  What the fuck was Sutton talking about? “Enables her to what?”

  “Hide behind her fear. Eli does it. You’re doin’ it. The three-time world champion barrel racer is slinging drinks and selling clothes in a little-known burg in Wyoming. She needs to be in an arena, running barrels. That’s what she’s meant to do.”

  “You think I don’t know that?”

  “No, sir, I don’t.”

  “That’s because you don’t know me,” Fletch snapped. “I realize Eli won’t push her. But I am the man who will give her back that part of herself that’s been missing. I’ve already laid the groundwork. So I sure as hell don’t appreciate you riding in here and fucking it up.”

  “It’s already fucked up. And that’s what pisses you off. That I give her something you don’t. That you can’t no matter how much groundwork you lay.”

  “Which is what? And you’d better take care with your answer.”

  “Understanding. I’ve been exactly where she is, so she trusts that I know what I’m talking about. I can help her in ways you can’t. You may have her in your bed, but you weren’t the first person she ca
lled after her brother gave her the smackdown that left her raw. I was. What do you think that means?”

  That I was an idiot for running away like a scalded cat after overhearing your conversation. I should’ve confronted her, made her talk to me, even if I’d had to drag her away kicking and screaming. Even if I’d had to hog-tie her to a damn chair to get her to open up to me.

  “It means that we both want the same thing—Tanna to conquer her fear. But I can’t help but suspect that your reasons for wanting Tanna to saddle up again aren’t as altruistic as you’re pretending.”

  “You’re reaching.”

  “Am I? If Tanna gets back into competition, then she’d be on the road, drifting from rodeo to rodeo, which is . . . wow, exactly the same lifestyle you’ll be living and on the same circuit you’ll be competing on. Coincidence, bulldogger?”

  Sutton’s fake jocularity vanished. “So you think by keeping her in Muddy Gap that you’ll somehow have her? Do you really want to be her second choice?”

  Fletch drew back as if Sutton had taken a swing at him.

  “Hit a little too close to home, did I, Doc?” Sutton sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. “Look. I don’t have a horse in this race—pardon the pun. Tanna may talk to me, but she listens to you.”

  He had no response for that.

  “So my advice is quit looking at me like I’m the problem,” Sutton said.

  He turned and walked away, leaving Fletch just as frustrated and adrift as when he’d gotten up this morning.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Late evening the next day, Tanna watched Harlow saunter into the lounge at closing time. She oozed sex appeal just walking across the room, even when there wasn’t a man in sight for her to impress. Hadn’t taken Tanna long to realize Harlow wasn’t putting on a sex kitten act. With her white-blond hair, abundance of curves, big blue eyes, full mouth and breathless way of speaking, Harlow Pratt was an old-fashioned pinup girl in the flesh. And Tanna liked her more than she’d admit—especially not to Harlow.

  “Hey, harlot, what brings you by?”

  “That is not a nice nickname.”

  “Meant in good fun, I promise.”

  Harlow looked around the empty bar. “Bunch of early birds roosting at the Split Rock this week.”

  “Not that I’m complaining. Because next week it could be completely different.”

  “Since you’re off early, you have big plans tonight?”

  Tanna wiped down the counter and rinsed the rag before she replied. “Nope. Do you?”

  “I was hoping for another bonfire but no one seems to be around tonight. Which is weird because Tobin is always around. Speaking of Tobin . . . I saw you down by the corrals the day before yesterday talking to Sutton and Tobin.”

  “Really? I didn’t see you.”

  “I got sidetracked looking for Renner.” She set her elbows on the bar. “What’s going on with you and Sutton?”

  “Why would you ask me that?”

  “Why would you answer a question with a question?”

  Smart-ass. “Nothin’ is goin’ on. Sutton and I are friends. Why?”

  “’Cause it looked a whole lot different than ‘just friends’ from where I was standing.”

  “And where was that?”

  “Just inside the barn. The one with the big door? It was open. A bunch of us were standing there.”

  “I’m confused on why you’re bringing this up, Harlow.”

  “Because I think you’re making a big mistake throwing Fletch over for Sutton.”

  Tanna’s jaw nearly hit the bar. “Sweet Lord, girl, have you lost your ever-lovin’ mind? What in the hell are you talking about?”

  “While I was in the barn, I watched Fletch across the way in the other building, watching you. It about broke my heart. He saw you in that intense conversation with Sutton. He looked so . . . sad.”

  That caused a sudden pang. Sadness was such a rarity with happy-go-lucky Fletch. And to think she’d had any part in causing it, even accidentally? That hurt ten times worse. “I think you misread him. Fletch knows I’m friends with Sutton.”

  “I think you’ve misread Fletch if you don’t think he’s bothered by your friendship”—she made air quotes—“with Sutton. Because what I saw? And what everyone else around the corrals saw? Sure didn’t look like friendship.”

  She stared at Harlow, too dumbfounded to speak.

  “I know you think I don’t know what I’m talking about because I’m considered a cocktease. But part of the reason I’m so good at knowing how far to take the tease is because I know men. I’m all-pro at reading male body language and you might as well have kicked Fletch in the balls. Your actions hurt him that bad, Tanna.”

  “Then why in the fuck didn’t he say something to me?” she demanded.

  “Because he’s too old to play games. I’ll bet you haven’t heard from him.”

  She hadn’t. Not for two days. She’d wondered why but she didn’t want to seem like one of those pushy, needy, clingy girlfriends that insisted on spending every day with her lover.

  Then it hit her and her stomach bottomed out. He’d probably heard the entire conversation between her and Sutton. The fact she’d bared her soul—her fears to Sutton, rather than to him, would slice him a lot deeper than what might’ve looked like harmless flirting.

  “Fletch is the type that’ll just quietly stop coming around and vanish from your life.” Harlow’s eyes searched hers. “Maybe you’re used to playing musical cowboys on the road and you don’t know any other way to act. It’s your prerogative to flirt with any guy who crosses your path. Just as it’s Fletch’s choice to walk away. I don’t blame him. He deserves better than how you’ve treated him.”

  Tanna’s eyes narrowed. “Is this where you tell me that you can treat him a lot better?”

  Harlow emitted a sultry laugh. “See that spark of jealousy? That means you’re not okay with me getting up close and personal with the sexy vet. Why on earth would you think he’d be any different? Especially seeing you holding hands and whispering with Sutton the sexy bulldogger?”

  “So if you’re not after Fletch . . . is this little heart-to-heart because you want a shot at Sutton?”

  She laughed again. “Just between us? I could have Sutton if I wanted him. There’s no challenge in that. The challenge is to land the guy who wants you so bad and yet, he acts completely oblivious to you. Maybe even a little rude. That’s when things get interesting.” Harlow slid off the barstool. “With no chance of a bonfire I’m off for a long soak in the tub and a bottle of wine.”

  Tanna thought of nothing else on the walk back to her trailer. All the lights were off at Fletch’s place and his truck was gone. She checked her cell phone.

  Fletch hadn’t responded to her voice mails.

  Just to test Harlow’s theory, she sent Fletch an I missed you today text.

  Thirty-five minutes passed. He didn’t call.

  He always called, because he refused to text.

  Enough. Time to find out what’s going on.

  Tanna drove into Rawlins. Her GPS seemed to take her on a merry chase, but she never would’ve found the place without it. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected from Fletch’s house, but she was pretty dumbfounded when it came into view.

  The A-frame was nestled between two hills at the end of a primitive gravel road. The siding was wood. She noticed the back end extended beyond the glass-fronted window and spread out like two wings, giving it a birdlike appearance. A circular driveway curved around a small bunch of bushes.

  The light in the front window was on. Fletch’s pickup sat in the drive rather than the garage. She forced herself to scale the wide steps leading to the front door. Tanna poked the doorbell and the sound pealed through the house. Seemed a lifetime passed before the door opened.

  Fletch looked surprised to see her. “Tanna. What are you doin’ here?”

  “Looking for you. You haven’t been at the Split Rock and you hav
en’t responded to my texts or phone calls, so I got worried and thought I’d check on you.” He didn’t look like he’d been sick. He wore his lounging clothes—baggy black athletic shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt that molded to his upper body. But he didn’t seem particularly happy to see her either.

  “So, now that I know you’re all right, I’ll go.” She whirled around.

  The door squeaked and two enormous hands curled over her biceps, preventing her escape. Then his arms, those big strong arms, slid around her and his mouth teased her ear. “Stay.”