Pemberley

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  She took his face in her hands as if he were a little boy, and kissed him gently

  on his lips.

  'Frederick loves you, too, it's not just the two of us who are getting married.

  It's you and Simon as well, you will be part of this unity. There will be just one thing we don't all share, and he doesn't want that from me. Or you. I was afraid you hated to witness my kissing him, when that is nothing more than an act, performed for the rest of the world to our best ability. The whole wedding is a sham, my love, we'll have the real party afterwards, right here.

  You know what, let's try to set Frederick and Simon drunk. They have never dared to indulge for fear of betraying themselves, and now they need not worry anymore. And then you'll see the real Frederick, and you'll know your fears are unfounded.'

  Her determination slowly overcame his reservations, she was so certain of this, and she knew Frederick so much better than he did. Maybe it was time they had a man-to-man conversation, as equals, Nick had been conditioned to look up to gentlemen like Frederick but the latter had always made it clear that wasn't what he wanted from Nick. He hadn't pushed, Nick suspected because Simon had told his lover that putting pressure on Nick would only make Nick fearful of him, and rightly so. But maybe the time had come for Nick to break this stalemate and try to become friends with Frederick. Set them drunk, the very idea was ludicrous, but maybe Anne had a point. No-one would find out.

  'I've been very stubborn, haven't I? Sticking to my old habits of bowing and scraping?'

  'No, Nick, you've grown immensely! Taking it slow like you did wasn't just better for you, Darcy wouldn't have appreciated familiarity from you, nor would Elizabeth, but now they are starting to respect you for who you are.

  You have been yourself all this time, and I beg you to not try to behave differently. You cannot in public anyway. But when we are in private you might show Frederick more of yourself, and allow him to treat you like a friend. He wants to be your friend so very much, like you are Simon's and mine. Just because he happens to be a wealthy gentleman you shut him out.

  He understands, but it hurts him nonetheless. If he knew what you just admitted to me he'd be gutted, please believe me.'

  Well, there was nothing for it anyway, the wedding was going to happen in a few hours and Nick would have to live with it. Like Anne, Frederick and Simon. They'd all have to live with it.

  'Nick, I love you. Come to me.'

  The love in those beautiful eyes, her perfect features framed by her blonde hair, this angel wanted him to be with her and he would. He would throw himself at her feet, on her mercy, and she would hold him and shelter him from the world, like she had done that night when he had crawled to her room and into her bed, expecting to die in her arms but finding himself battered but alive and cleaned and loved in bed with her beside him.

  Like that first night together, he crawled as close to her as their physical shapes allowed, resting his head in her bosom, his arms and legs clutching her to him as if it was their last moment together. That night, he knew it might be their last moment together, and now he still feared this might be though his reason said that nothing would change. Anne felt his sudden resurgence of fear and held him firmly.

  'I'm sorry you feel bad, Nick, but I promise you it will be over soon, and then you'll find your fear wasn't necessary. Everything will be just fine, we'll have the time of our lives.'

  Her closeness and her lovely scent calmed him down, and he became aware of her lovely white breast right in front of him, the pink nipple offering distraction and the memory of comfort. He reached for it with his lips and licked it, then took it in his mouth altogether, sucking gently and inhaling deeply at the same time. So good, nothing had changed, this was still the best place to be on this very earth. His body relaxed and his mind followed.

  But his beloved was no longer a maiden trying to find a little love and comfort for herself, half ashamed of what she was doing and afraid of what was coming. She was a woman now, and his touch on her breast caused her a flash of heat. As she gave him comfort, so her body shuddered with expectancy, and his body reacted in kind, instantly aroused while his mind still tried to hold on to its state of utter calm. In vain.

  They both started to grope and rub themselves against the other, until they simultaneously decided to take it slowly, in memory of that night, months ago, when they had both set their first steps on the path to a deeper love than they'd ever expected to find.

  'Anne, I can't live without you, I really can't.'

  And he meant it, even as he stroked her velvet skin and kissed her perfectly shaped, and eager, lips, tears were threatening. And he wasn't even ashamed of his weakness, it was a bare fact, he could not live without this warm-hearted, strong woman.

  'You won't have to, Nick, because I need you as much.'

  They kissed and kissed, until it wasn't enough anymore and they had to be one, immediately. Still kissing and fondling greedily they connected their bodies, Anne as determined as Nick to be closer to each other than ever before. The one moment he was supporting himself on his arms on top of her, with her clutching his shoulders so firmly that she was kissing and nibbling his neck, her body only touching the bed where they were connected, her legs entwined across his straining hips. And the next he was lying on his back with her riding him with energy, no sign of her leg muscles aching from the riding lesson the day before. His legs hurt all right but not whilst giving Anne a rough ride, it was a different movement altogether and it was so good to heave and strain under her, even if it had hurt he'd be unstoppable.

  It was only when he felt his climax nearing and he knew she couldn't even be close to hers that he slowed down and realised he had forgotten his protection.

  'Don't stop, Nick, please,' she breathed in his ear, redoubling her own effort, making him gasp with ardour, 'just be mine.'

  But she didn't know! Then it was too late, his baser self took over and bucked her up, and down again, until a shuddering climax caused him to twitch and groan, then lie still, chest heaving with the effort.

  She was still heated where he was totally worn out, his whole body seemed to have emptied itself inside her, the one time in ten years he had forgotten about his protections. The foolishness! As if he wanted to mark Anne before losing her to Frederick.

  He wanted to speak but she hushed him sweetly, but with determination.

  'Just hold me, Nick, just be with me. I don't want to stand at the altar crying, but if you keep projecting your anxiety like this I'm afraid I cannot keep up the facade.'

  But that wasn't it at all! Now he'd ruined a very special moment as well as endangered their near future. Maybe he could still salvage the moment, though, make sure she'd walk the aisle calm and happy. He was sated, but she wasn't, he could still make her forget his moments of self-reproach and explain later.

  Taking her in his arms was an excellent start, she laid her head on his chest, burrowing her face in his chest hair, stroking it while relishing his sweaty odour. He stroked her back gently, but with the intent to bring back her heat, letting his hand go a lot further down, over her lovely smooth bottom to the front, causing her to shiver. Her face looked up in surprise, she expected him

  to be worn out, and though he felt little heat himself, he enjoyed stirring hers back up. Nick Fowler was not going to let the woman he loved stand at the altar unsatisfied, that was below his dignity. No woman in ten years had left his bed not totally sated, and he was not going to let that happen to Anne, not on her wedding day, and not when she might pay for his release with a child.

  She didn't know it, yet, but she was going to squeal for him.

  Anne could feel the change in Nick, either her plea had hit the mark or he was pretending really well. There was no way to know which, so she'd enjoy his attentions as he offered them. Which were rather overwhelming, he stroked her as if they were just starting their loving, not as if he'd just had a staggering climax. He should be sleepy and sated, not tantalizing her w
ith his large and yet incredibly gentle hands.

  This was the Nick she'd first met, the philanderer who'd warned her against forming expectations of him, who had taught her about loving almost analytically, from the basis upward, to ever increasing intimacy and ecstasy.

  Though she had always resisted his superior attitude, out of high-bred arrogance at first, and self-respect once she had fallen for him, she decided to subject herself to his ministrations this once. She had pleaded him to support her just now, and if he needed to feel a bit dominant to survive her wedding without showing his dismay, so be it. They'd settle everything afterwards, the four of them and a bottle of brandy. Though Anne had little experience with drinking, she hoped Simon and Frederick would be able to use a slight intoxication to drop their huge barriers for a few hours, while Nick might hopefully set aside his awe for Frederick and just talk to him as one man to another. Simon might have some resentment against years of servitude built up, but he was a large step ahead of Nick in throwing off his past and becoming an independent man. She didn't expect to reap benefits for herself, except that if they wanted this marriage to work, they would need to share their feelings, not keep them bottled up.

  It was so good to lie on Nick's chest and feel him stroke her back with intense love, he adulated her, as she admired him, let him be dominant for a while, see how far he would take it. She knew he loved her, more than he had ever loved anyone.

  His attentions were becoming more specific, almost of if he was aware of her remaining heat and stoking it up. She hadn't minded being left with her lust, they had been so incredibly close for a few moments, she hadn't wanted that

  to end, though she appreciated his noticing and attempting to see to her needs first. But this was going to be a difficult day for him, he needed to feel close to her, and to stop in the middle of such intimacy as they had been experiencing seemed a damned shame. Her own feelings of heat would keep, they usually ebbed quickly, then came back later at a convenient moment.

  Tonight, tomorrow morning, maybe even this afternoon already. It didn't matter much, he had never left her with her urges before and he had merely obeyed her wish.

  His chest was such a good place to be, it smelled deliciously and his tiny nipples were so endearing. She licked them in turn, his stroking was having some effect, her heat was not waning but rather increasing slowly but surely.

  It felt good, and her hands explored his firm muscles, wondering how they could be soft as well. He was so strong, he and Frederick had moved things together that Anne thought would need at least four men to even get off the ground.

  A large hand cupped her breast, then stroked it, causing her own nipples to stand firm, and when it moved across her belly, then further down she knew for sure: he was arousing her. He went straight for her most intimate parts, rubbing them where it was best, flashes of heat started to well up, and she settled under his arm to enjoy his ministrations, no longer smacking of dominance but rather of intense love, well, and a lot of experience with pleasing ladies. But she'd known that from the first and actually profited by it, no need for Nick to improve his mind on these matters, he had experienced all of it. But maybe Anne could find some improvement herself, new ways to please Nick. It was worth a bit of trouble to surprise him.

  When he finally kissed her again her heat went into overdrive, and he didn't seem all that sated anymore either. Suppressing a twinge of disappointment when he broke off the kiss, she soon felt his tongue on her left nipple, and then he sucked it, causing a shudder to run through her, after which the right breast got some attention, his hands still stroking and rubbing her intimately.

  A cry of lust escaped her, and he laughed merrily and moved down between her legs, spreading them gently and applying his tongue where it was more than welcome by now. Oh, it seemed to have a mind of its own, his tongue, and it knew just what she liked, it was so good, so warm and gentle. When she started to shudder all over he added a single finger where it mattered, and that was it, her ardour rushed to a climax, then slowly, tantalizingly, ebbed to a lower point, from whence he took it up again, and a third time, until she

  actually squealed with pleasure.

  That seemed to be some kind of cue, for he immediately worked his way back up, kissed her with a warm tongue tasting of herself, then entered her with some force.

  Another squeal escaped her lips and she offered herself to him, hoping he'd keep up the firmness despite this being his second effort within half an hour.

  With his broad, strong torso touching her slim body but not actually resting on her, he covered her altogether, giving her a feeling of being surrounded by him, a nice, safe feeling, despite her lust rising again and almost taking over her mind. All thought stopped, she became ardour, and again clutched herself against him with her aching legs, following his rhythm, his every touch inside her giving a tiny explosion of feeling so intense it was almost painful.

  It didn't last long, she was the first to cry out in release, and then he shuddered and collapsed right on top of her, a bit heavier now but not nearly his true weight, he still carried most of it himself.

  'It was too late anyway, my love. I don't suppose there was much left for the second time.'

  He kissed her and rolled to the side, taking her in his arms, still heaving a little and also obviously tired now.

  Whatever did he mean by that? And then it struck her, his protections! He hadn't wanted to stop the first time because he wanted her to be sated, too, in their intimate moment he had forgotten his protections and he wanted to save what could be saved!

  Well, she was not going to panic or reproach him: it was both their responsibility. Snuggled in his arms she said as much, and her voice sounded as dry as she wished it to.

  'Well, if I do get with child, there will be no other baby on this entire world that has been conceived with more love than ours. I won't blame you, Nick, I forgot, too, I've never felt that close to you before, I just didn't want it to end.

  I love you and I do want your baby, remember, I'm twenty five already, I haven't got that much time left to have one. We'll be more careful next time, but if it happens I'll be glad, too. Thank you, my love, I feel much better now.'

  'I'm glad you're not angry. I've never forgotten before, not once! I suppose I was upset about the wedding after all. We have half an hour left before Dora will be here to dress you, shall we snuggle a little more before I have to leave the room?'

  Which they did, so comfortable together that he almost fell asleep, looking sweeter than ever with his eyes heavily lidded and his voice a bit slurred, as they whispered sweet nonsense in each other's ears. By the time he left through the door connecting their rooms, Anne was convinced that though he might not enjoy the ceremony, he would witness it without too many regrets.

  When Simon entered Nick's room about an hour later after a short knock, he first thought his friend was dead drunk. He was lying on his narrow bed, seemingly fast asleep, butt naked except for his blankets covering barely a third of his body, and not the third one generally covered when one expected company.

  For Nick was expecting him, should be expecting him, not to spend two hours on his looks as Dora was doing for Anne right now, but a mere half hour to make him look like a gentleman. At this moment he looked like a gypsy, a drunk one. And he smelled, of sweat and something else, not spirits, fortunately, but equally unsuitable for church. Simon had a good nose and a good memory, and more life's experience than he might have wished for, though no-one would ever have caught him having had very intimate relations with a woman without washing thoroughly afterwards. Was it a very bad sign that Nick hadn't?

  He did look very appealing, spread over the bed with his face relaxed but not slack-mouthed or worse, drooling, his superbly muscled arms hugging himself, and his tackle draped appealingly over a hairy shank. Though he knew Nick might feel embarrassed or even angry at him for entering his room uninvited and finding him in a state of disarray and undress, there was no time to lose,
Nick needed a little more attendance than Simon had expected, and then Simon still had to dress himself. Glad he hadn't yet changed in his one good coat himself, that smell would stick to literally anything, he kneeled beside the sleeping brute and tried subtlety and kindness first.

  'Psst, Nick, wake up, it's time to get dressed!'

  The burly shape stirred, mumbled and merely turned away from him, showing a broad hairy back incredibly similar to Frederick's, and an equally hairy pair of buttocks, muscular and well-padded enough that Nick probably wasn't suffering from his latest riding lesson as the much more slender Simon was. He settled back to absolute stillness, fast asleep once again.

  There was nothing for it, he had to touch the naked shape lying on the bed, time was flying. Hopefully, Nick would not be offended. Simon laid his hand

  on the broad shoulder and shook it gently, talking in a soothing voice to smooth over potential ruffled feathers.

  'Nick, Nick, it's Simon, you really need to wake up. We have some cleaning to do as well as dressing.'

  That worked, life returned to the strong body before him, Nick turned around towards Simon, eyes opening slowly to recognise his friend sitting by his bed. As awareness returned, he sat up quickly, but did nothing to hide his nudity.

  'Simon! The wedding! Oh my God, I must have dropped off!'

  He looked around, still a bit dazed, sniffed the air and then himself and looked at Simon in something much like terror.

  'I'm a mess, Simon, I'm so sorry you had to see that, and especially smell that!

  What time is it? I didn't mean to go to sleep, and you know I always take care of myself. Dammit, of all the times a fellow can let himself go... I need a bath like never before!'

  'Calm down, Nick, there is still some time. Not enough for a bath, but it's not that bad. Nothing a very thorough washing cannot solve.'