Return by Sea (Glacier Adventure Series Book 3)

by Tracey Jerald

  “Wrong part of your anatomy.”

  She spins around to try to get a look at her delectable ass in her workout pants, but I stop her by coming up behind her and placing my hands on her hips. “Your heart, Sunshine. And I didn’t want to taint it with the memories living in my head.”

  I know her swiftly indrawn breath has nothing to do with the closeness of our bodies’ proximity, despite the fact she can no doubt feel the stirrings of my body’s response to her nearness. It has to do with the fact I opened the door to letting her inside the dark places inside me to shine her light. My head lowers down until I inhale the scents that calm me: sweat and Maris. The fact they’re mingled together are a balm to my soul. “They need to bottle this scent,” I mutter against her neck.

  Spinning until she’s pressed against me, front to front, Maris fits herself tighter. Our bodies fit against one another as if a great artist created her softness to fit my hollows, and my hardness to be shaped exactly to hold Maris. I marvel in the tactile perfection of us before I whisper, “What’s your first question?”

  Instead of pulling away like I expected her to, she wraps her arms closer around me. “Were you scared?”

  “When my mother left me?”

  Maris nods against my shoulder. “Though I vehemently disagree with the use of the word ‘mother,’ but continue.”

  Why am I smiling? God knows, I never expected to. “So noted.” I give myself a few moments to answer so she doesn’t think I’m blowing off the answer. “Maybe at first because I feared what would happen. But, honestly, do you want to know the worst part?”

  She nods, still not giving me her eyes. I continue. “The worst part was being so fucking ashamed. All the kids at school knew. There was no way of escaping it. One minute, I was this loner, but then there was all this attention. Christ, I hated the fucking attention—especially for that. I swore, every night I slept in that borrowed bed, wearing those borrowed clothes, that if I managed to get away, I wouldn’t come back unless I was somebody.” I let my words hang in the air between us.

  “That explains… Well, you accomplished that in spades. With the help of a handful of Jacks along the way.”

  I jerk my head back in shock. Did she just say that? But when I do, there’s no judgment on it. Instead there’s a ferocious intensity I’ve only seen twice before: when Maris was talking about the child she wanted to adopt and when I told Jed the same story years ago right after we reconnected.

  “How is it you don’t resent me for not being here?” I ask her the question I’ve been holding back. “My love for you is just as strong as it was back then. How can you not hate me when so much could have been different?”

  She fiddles with the string of my sweatshirt before letting it drop. “There were days I thought I did, don’t kid yourself, none worse than Vegas.”

  The words strike me harder than the kick she landed earlier. “Ouch.”

  “But if you were drowning and I was sinking, would either of us been able to have saved each other?”

  “No. We’d have just pulled each other deeper into the abyss.”

  “Exactly.” Her hands flatten on my chest before she tugs at the cross she’s wearing. The cross I figured Jed meant for his sister to have when things were right between us. It never felt quite right to wear it, but damn, it makes my heart skip a beat to see it around her neck. “The last time Jed was home, he tried to talk to me about you. Dean was sitting right over there.” She nods in the direction of the family room.

  “I imagine that went over well.” My voice is full of irony, even knowing Jed was trying to get her to Albuquerque at a later date to fix the breach between us.

  She pulls the chain between her lips and slides the cross forward back. “Uh-huh.”

  I bark out a laugh before tugging the chain out from between her lips so I can kiss her all too briefly. “Do you have more questions?”

  “Just one. It’s a fairly substantial one.”

  “What’s that?” I brace myself.

  “We’re not like related or anything? You and Jed ruled that out, I hope?” Her impish smile lights the stars that live inside her eyes.

  I don’t bother to answer, not with words anyway. Instead, I bend down and catch her around the waist with my shoulder. Standing up, I hook the back of her knees with my arm before announcing, “We both smell. Time for a shower.”

  “Goodie. Does this mean I get to scrub you everywhere?”

  I almost drop her at the provocative image her words conjure up in my brain. To retaliate, I give her ass a love tap.

  Which, being Maris, she promptly returns. “Tit for tat, buddy.”

  “I’ll take tit anytime, Sunshine.” I bound up the stairs with her musical laughter trailing out behind.

  And while I’m soaping up her body and hearing her moans echo off the shower walls a short time later, I send my thanks skyward for several things.

  For our timing finally being right.

  That Maris’s main concern was my well-being and not the nitty-gritty details.

  And for the Smiths’ foresight in investing in indoor plumbing all those years ago when they built this house.

  “Aren’t you concerned about loving an adopted child differently?” I ask her as we plow our way through a bowl full of pasta after our shower.

  “Now? Not in the slightest. Honestly, the only time I gave it any thought was the years immediately after I had surgery. And for a while, I just debated giving up the idea of having a family at all.” I hope Maris doesn’t notice my small flinch as I reach for my water because I still can’t wrap my mind around the idea she can’t have children. I just don’t want her misunderstanding why.

  I still remember one night when we sat outside by the old fire pit and she boldly declared, “I’m going to fill every one of those bedrooms up with babies, Nick. People are going to get so used to seeing this belly round, they won’t recognize me without it.” Maris proceeded to bend her back so far out it was almost a vertical back bend.

  And one of the many times she secretly had me in stitches. “And what about Jed? Where’s he going to live?” I asked instead of rising to the bait of asking about her future husband or baby daddy.

  She turned around and finally pointed to a patch of land on the far corner of the property. “He can pitch a tent there.”

  Even I couldn’t hold in my laughter at that point. “So generous.”

  And to think now, those bedrooms will remain unused unless, “Are you planning on adopting more than one child?” I wonder aloud.

  “Let me get through the process with one first, please and thank you. I might have an anxiety attack before I get to hold my son in my arms.”

  “Fair enough.” But the image of that long-ago Maris still won’t fade. “You’d be a terrific Mom to one or a dozen though.”

  Just as she was about to take another bite of pasta, she lays the fork down next to the side of her bowl. “Would you mind repeating that?”

  After I do, she presses her hand to her lower stomach. “That’s what I thought you said.” Maris shoves to her feet and moves to the window. She stands there unmoving.

  “What did I say?” I put my own bowl to the side and move in behind her.

  “You said those exact words to me one night when I used to joke around about having a big family. After…after everything, Jed used to say something similar, but I blew it off.” She lets out a breath that stirs the fine hair around her face. I lift my hand and brush it back. Maris reaches up and clasps my hand against her cheek. “It just threw me off hearing those words from your mouth again. That’s all.”

  I want to open my mouth and volunteer to be the man to give her as many children as she wants. I have a home that’s larger than this which we can raise them in. Between us there’s so much love, I don’t know what’s holding me back.

  Yes, I do. She doesn’t want to leave, and I have no choice but to go.

  Tick tock.

  Even as I pass my hand over
and over her glossy mane, I don’t know exactly when I’m going to give voice to this problem, but I’m not living without Maris in my life. We’ll figure something out. But what if that’s not what she wants? That voice nags me again.

  Like she can sense the disquiet in me through my touch, Maris whirls away from the window and asks, “What is it?”

  Instead of telling her right then what I know, what’s been eating at me, I just yank her into my arms and kiss her. I feel the chain bite into the palm of my hand, a reminder of who and what she is to me. Not just Maris, but a Smith. I’ve waited for years to hold her so close to me, I can’t let her slip away just because I have to go now that my job’s done.

  It’s been done for days.

  The only reason I’m still here is her.

  And very soon, I have to leave. Is there any good way to tell her?

  Maris

  “I’m not certain if Maris understood how much Nick feels for her. If she did, would she punch him in the face? It’s entirely a possibility.” - From the journals of Jedidiah Smith.

  Tonight is hopping at the Brewhouse. I’m glad Kristina made the decision to call me because we’re at full capacity. I sashay past my bartender, KJ, and yell loud enough so she can hear, “Is it a full moon or something?”

  “Or something,” she shouts back.

  “Give me a clue.”

  “Rumor has it the Champ is in town. Since everyone knows you guys are tight, they’re figuring he might drop by.”

  “Remind me to text Nick to tell him to stay the hell home.” I roll my eyes.

  “You mean you actually do know him?”

  Know him, love him, hope we can figure out how to have a future together. I wink at my bartender and simply grab another IPA bottle from the cooler behind her.

  “That’s seriously cool, Maris.”

  Just as I’m about to shout a reply over the din, I hear my name being called repeatedly. I whirl around, drop the beer in front of the impatient patron, and signal to KJ I’ll be right back.

  Amaq has his arms folded across his chest. “Fire chief’s here. Police are outside.”

  “Is ‘Praise the Lord’ an inappropriate response?” I joke even as I’m untying my apron to follow him through the throng.

  Amaq’s lips quirk. “We’re not over capacity. But apparently there’s some issues with parking and with the way people are lined up outside. They’d like you to come out and handle it so they don’t need to issue citations.”

  “Because I have a lot of control of how people park?” My voice is laced with sarcasm.

  “No, and the cops have already taken care of that. It’s the people who are trying to park they have an issue with.”

  I stop dead. “There’s more trying to come in? I seriously want to know who started the rumor of Nick coming here tonight and stab them.”

  Of course, I say that just as I reach one of Juneau’s patrolmen who I’ve known since high school. He grins. “Now Maris, watch that mouth. You don’t need me hauling you in over terroristic threats and acts.”

  I roll my eyes as we exchange a handshake. “Matt, can I call Nick and direct him to Mendenhall to sign autographs or something?”

  His shoulders shake with suppressed laughter. “Nope. I didn’t even know you knew the guy, Maris. You’ve been holding out.” He gives me a friendly punch in the arm.

  “Not getting into this now. What do you need me out here for? KJ is up to her elbows in barley and hops.”

  Getting serious, he asks if I have any problem with putting an “At Capacity” sign in the lot. “Just for a while. It’s only eight. If people realize you’re this slammed, maybe it will discourage the rest of this.”

  And that’s when I get a good look at the line to get in. “What the hell?” The line is around the block.

  As I walk down the line, most of the patrons who recognize me immediately scramble to get their backs against the wall. “And there it is, the Smith fury. That’s why we called you out,” Pete confides.

  “Stuff it, buddy.”

  He’s chuckling as we approach some of the businesses whose entrances face the water. The fire chief is arguing with two scantily clad girls who refuse to move away from the doorway where tourists are trying to exit. I let out a piercing whistle. Everyone jumps. “If you’re in line for the Brewhouse and you’re blocking a business, I’m bouncing you out of line.”

  “You and what army?” One with a halter, a mini barely covering her crotch, and boots up to her thighs sneers.

  I toss my hair over my shoulder and smooth a hand over my hip. “Chief, mind telling these girls who I am?”

  “Maris Smith, proprietress of Smith’s Brewhouse,” he confirms.

  Their jaws fall open, but, “I don’t see any movement. These tourists likely have a cruise ship to get back to. They’re not trying to cut in line. Now move back or move on,” I hiss.

  They almost topple over getting back. I step over to the door and open it with a flourish for the tourists. “Thank you for visiting Juneau. I hope you found everything you were looking for and didn’t forget to have your cruise packet stamped.”

  “We didn’t. Thank you for the reminder.” The couple scuttles away on the sidewalk.

  I turn to Pete. “We’re at capacity. Period.”

  He grins, before lifting his megaphone. “Attention, please. Smith’s Brewhouse is at capacity. I repeat, Smith’s Brewhouse is at full capacity.”

  “How do you know?” comes a whiny voice.

  Pete hands over the mouthpiece. “This is Maris Smith. I repeat, we are at full capacity. I have been warned by the police and the fire chief, no more patrons will be accepted without a reduction of twenty percent. That is all. Find another place to hang out or go home.” I flip the mic back in Pete’s direction, and the chief falls in lockstep with me.

  “Thanks, Maris. I know that’s lost revenue for you, but…”

  “But nothing. Those people could have missed their ship.” I’m infuriated. We get back up to the entrance. I spot Amaq. “Brad, Rainey, Nick. Employees. No one else enters the parking lot. I’ll make an announcement for people to move their cars, or they have to work with you. Understood?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He gives me a quick salute and goes to lock the gates.

  I rub my hand across my forehead before wondering aloud, “God, what else could happen tonight?”

  Then I duck inside to go rescue KJ.

  About thirty minutes ago while taking a quick break to shovel in a few bites of pretzel in the kitchen, I sent Nick a text that read, If you feel like topping off your ego, come visit me at work. We’ve got wannabes, skanks, actual fans, and people who just plain want to eat.

  His response amused me. You’ll protect me.

  True, but you still need to make your way from the door to the bar. We’re six deep. Oh, and I had to lock the gate.

  A few minutes later, he replied. What utter BS. Brad and I are on our way. Rainey is going to stay with the kids.

  While part of me wanted to protect Nick from this kind of nonsense while he’s in town, another part of me recognizes it’s myself I wanted to save. It’s been a long time since I witnessed Nick Cain in action, and frankly the memories aren’t great ones even though I know I’m the only woman in Nick’s heart.

  KJ sways on her feet. I catch sight and slide up next to her. “What’s going on?”

  “Just a little hot.”

  “Did you eat?” I demand.

  “Yeah. It just feels like there’s no air in here.”

  I yank my phone from my bra to text Amaq to drop the air when I get an incoming text from him that reads, Reinforcements inbound. I’m escorting them over. Crazy is coming out of the woodwork.

  I release a sigh. Of course they are. I order KJ, “Sit on the coolers. I can handle this until reinforcements arrive.”

  “When is that, tomorrow?”

  With a quick check of the time on my phone, I chuckle. “Possibly. Still, I don’t need you passin
g out.”

  “You got it.” She hikes up on the cooler as I take quick command of the bar.

  For the next several moments, I forget about Nick and Brad being there to help as I race from one side of the bar to the other. I’ve got two pints going simultaneously while I pour a Jack and Coke double when arms slip around me from behind. I’m shocked I didn’t hear a roar announcing Nick. “I don’t have time, Nick.” I bump him back with my hips. “I have to deliver these drinks, and as you can see I have…” Just as I take the twenty from the customer and spin around to hit the register, I freeze.

  Because it wasn’t Nick who made his way behind the bar.

  It’s Carter Jones.

  And even though the room starts spinning crazily for me, I hear him say, “It’s been a long time, Maris.”

  I hold up my hand and back away. “No.” Even as I say that, I’m reaching for my cell phone. I engage it and type 9-1-1 to Amaq.

  I don’t read his response. I just tuck my phone back in my bra and stare at the man who left me for dead.

  “Get out!” I yell. I reach behind me for a glass and hold it above my head, ready to break it if I have to.

  “Listen, I just want to talk. Can we go somewhere and talk?” He smiles at me, as if all he has to do to wipe away every tear, every ounce of pain, is fucking smile.

  “No. Now, get out before I call the cops. This is your last chance.”

  “You won’t call the cops. You want to hear what I have to say.”

  “I do? Then why didn’t you take the stand and fucking say it fifteen years ago after you left me for dead, Carter? Last chance.” I have my phone out, and I dial 9-1-1. I turn the phone around to face him, my thumb hovering over the green Dial button.

  But Carter doesn’t take it in time. It changes so many things.

  Nick has made his way to me. Overhearing my screaming, he shoves behind Carter, puts him in a rear naked choke hold, before dragging his body away from me. “You dare, you son of a bitch? You dare to come here? To approach my woman? After everything you did to her?”