Her First, His Last

by J. M. Worthington

  “Going to the after-party, Myles,” a stunning brunette yelled from across the room before licking her upper lip.

  “Always do, Mandy,” Myles replied then whispered in my ear. “Ignore these idiots, I do. I have to make a brief appearance at the after-party, and then we can leave.”

  Camden flew through a set of doors, sniffling and wiping his nose. “Shit, Myles, that’s some grade A quality product. Thanks for the share.”

  That simple statement terrified me.

  Myles chuckled and said, “Let’s go.” Then he grabbed my purse before turning to leave.

  At the party, Manuscript blared through the speakers that were in every room.

  Was it annoying to always have to listen to yourself? I asked myself as I stood in the middle of a packed room alone. Indecently clad females and a few roadies bounced to the music, celebrating as if there would be no tomorrow. A shockwave burst around my chest at the sight of what Sawyer was doing with two blondes on the coffee table. Someone thrust a red solo cup into Myles’s hand. “Thanks,” he responded. His hand was so large that it covered the entire cup as he took a sip.

  Did he even know who handed it to him? My mind was reeling, and it was horrible to think, but Myles was way too happy. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he was strung out on something.

  Myles threw his arm around my neck. A nervous heat ran through my body as his hand rested over my right breast. His hands were slightly cold from the drink he held. My mouth gaped open as I wiped the sweat off my forehead and swallowed back the lump growing in my throat. It wasn’t the life I wanted for him—the music I wanted, but not the lifestyle.

  “Can you just get a driver for me? I’ll wait up for you,” I said as dread seeped its way through my chest and down to my stomach.

  Not asking me to go against my own morals wasn’t asking too much.

  Myles cocked his head to the side and winked. “If I’m forced to be here, so are you.”

  Resigned to my fate, I ducked out from underneath his arm and slithered through the thick crowd toward the back hallway.

  Sidestepping the people dancing, I eyed the woman who wondered who I was earlier that night dry-humping Wade. He had her top pulled down and was sucking on her nipple as bystanders stood by, cheering them on.

  My nose wrinkled at the revolting scene of debauchery and stench, but they were having fun and being normal. I was the one being the dull, unadventurous party girl. It was only one night. I could fake it.

  On the bar top, bottles of liquor covered the granite along with two liters of soda, cups, and a larger cooler of ice. Blowing out a breath, I resigned to keep my commitment to stay sober and bluffed fixing myself a drink. Truthfully, I just poured some water, but the red cup made it appear as if I was drinking.

  “There you are.” Someone caught the back of my shirt and gave it a swift tug, spinning me until we were chest to stomach. Hitching his hip on the kitchen counter, the corners of Myles’s mouth turned up. The smile forever lost in his eyes. “I thought you ordered yourself a driver,” Myles slurred.

  His eyes were slightly unfocused as he leaned in to kiss me. I wanted it to be the buzz of being on stage that was causing it, but something intuitively told me he had taken something. My stomach sunk into my groin.

  “If I could find a phone, I would.” The familiar pounding in my chest echoed in my ears. I maneuvered to walk around him, but his arm shot out to block my passage.

  His dark brows knitted before taking a swig of his drink. “Talk to me?”

  Loud squealing startled me, and I looked over his shoulder to see a skinny peroxide blonde with extraordinarily little clothing on running toward us.

  “My-y-y-les!” Miss Extremely Large Boobs stuttered.

  Myles turned around at the sound of his name. She barreled into his arms.

  “Anna.” He grabbed her by her shoulders.

  “I’ve been looking for you?” she said, running her hands down his chest like she was ready to get him naked in the middle of the kitchen.

  “I’ve been busy.” He reached up and pulled her hands off his body, then shifted his body again until his back was touching my chest. The blonde’s eyes finally tore themselves away from Myles, and she focused on me.

  “Who’s that?” She started to pout, but then a slow smile appeared, and she leaned into Myles and made sure she rubbed her colossal jugs against his chest. “I have the stuff that you want, but you already know that.”

  Myles kept his arm wrapped protectively around me like he might need to keep me out of harm’s way. “There is nothing you have that I want.”

  The girl frowned, slightly confused, then nodded. “Anything you say.”

  Myles had already started walking us toward a back hallway. “Who was that?”

  “A nobody,” he said as he placed his hand on the small of my back and led me out the backdoor. “A groupie.”

  “What does she have to offer?”

  “Sex, drugs, anything it takes to get close to the band.”

  Fear shook my legs down to my bones. I didn’t want to be a part of the fame game, but I would accept this world would forever be Myles’s life.

  “I know you have to stay a few hours. Jay told me that enough. I understand but let me go back to the hotel. I trust you, but this isn’t my scene.” I tried to act calm, but inside, my veins pounded a relentless rhythm throughout my body.

  “Come on, Blue Eyes. I’ll get you a car. Please believe me, I love the music, but I don’t want this either.”

  ***

  After taking some sleeping pills, I discovered on Myles’s bedside table. I quickly drifted off to sleep when I felt movement at my back. My eyes reluctantly peeled open. I turned over to see the silver eyes on the man that had stolen my heart seven years earlier.

  I was wrong once again. A person could have a bad night at the Peachtree Plaza.

  “What are you doing here? I won’t—can’t give you what those girls will.”

  “I’m here because you are. I don’t won’t want those girls will freely give to any of us,” he choked out in a husky whisper.

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to hold you and hear you say you still love me and mean it.” The perfect Cupid’s bow of his smile captured me, and any irritation I felt instantly melted away.

  “I will always love you nothing will ever change that.” I placed my head on his chest. Myles started fidgeting with my hair. “You’re not sleepy, are you?”

  “Not in the least.”

  “You can get up.”

  “I’m right where I want to be.” Myles’s hand closed over mine. He shot me a look that pleaded with me never to leave.

  I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and coffee. I slipped on an oversize t-shirt Myles had tossed onto the floor. It smelled like his cologne.

  I found Myles in the small makeshift kitchen. His back was toward me. Before I said a word signaling I was there, I admire the long, lean muscles running down his back, the way he moved with such ease. The music notes tattooed across his left side were covering four of his biggest scars. The idea he chose to watch me sleep instead of partying with any number of those girls sealed him deeper into my heart.

  He glanced over his shoulders and flashed me his two deep dimples. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  Goosebumps crept over my skin. “Your eyes, they’re dilated?”

  “Because I am so happy to see you.” His Adam’s apple rapidly moved as he swallowed continuously.

  The rest of the day flew by, and Jimmy was driving us back to the Airport. The band was flying out that afternoon to San Diego to perform at the music festival Street Scene. It would open the doors to a whole new fan base and opportunities, but I wanted to take Myles and Sawyer back to Tennessee with me. I wasn’t a selfish person, so I stood in the terminal, kissing Myles goodbye, and crying. He promised to call me that night to let me know when they arrived as Sawyer dragged us apart so they could board their flig
ht.

  By the time I arrived home, exhausted was an understatement. I told Granny the PG version of my first big concert experience. Eventually, I made my excuses and went to bed, falling to sleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

  Chapter 11

  M yles and Sawyer had come home for two weeks in November, refusing to miss another holiday. Jay had agreed as long as the band made it a working holiday. The band had six different interviews scheduled, and Myles demanded he took me to each of them.

  The way the camera crew and reporters looked at me left me uncomfortable. They were curious—especially the female reporters. One lady had been brash enough to say to my face that Myles was way out of my league. Then spent the majority of the day pressing her fake double-Ds against Myles and whispering in his ear. He made a point of expressing his feelings for me and enjoyed kissing me in her presence. His actions kept me from getting jealous. I accepted that the female population would forever chase Myles. Yet I was the one he wanted, the one he fought to come home to, and I loved knowing he wanted me.

  After a quick smack on the lips, Myles asked if I wanted to attend a party his record label was hosting. I gladly accepted.

  He winked. "I think you will enjoy it tonight."

  Myles played his newest CD to me on the two-hour drive to Nashville. The party was being held in a bar on the infamous Broadway Street. I reminded Myles I wasn't twenty-one and didn't possess a fake ID.

  Myles’s hearty laugh filled the cab. "They have the whole bar rented out. Do you really think they are going to try and card my girl?" He winked; his pupils dilated until only a slight ring of the gray of his eyes showed. When he parked, we both got out, and he met me with an outstretched hand at the rear of his rented car.

  "Rockstar. Let's party and celebrate you and your kickass music."

  "Thanks, but it's actually a party for a younger band they recently signed."

  There are a few clusters of suits standing just inside the front doors. They all greeted Myles and gave me a half-hearted smile but seemed to know who I was without introduction. Myles rolled his eyes and added a wink that was priceless. He then kissed me on the side of my head. "Come on, Blue Eyes, I need something hard to drink to get through this."

  There were around a thousand people at the event. Most of them were now crowded around Myles and the guys wanting to capture a glimmer of their attention.

  Myles’s banter with the crowd seemed normal. His wit was sharp and in rare form. Even if a few of the conversations showcased the divide our lives were taking, I tried remembering I was the one he always included.

  Sawyer walked up and nudged my shoulder. "Finally, someone who feels like home. I hate these parties," he said and emphasized his point with his natural widened eyes under arched eyebrows combo.

  I loved Myles, but Sawyer held a small part of my heart as well. While I was hanging with Sawyer, Myles whispered in my ear, "I’m going to take a leak before we leave."

  "Tell Mary and Johnny, I said hey," Sawyer stated and stared at Myles with an angry expression until it got uncomfortable even for me. My gut told me that Myles and Sawyer held secrets I was no longer privy to.

  "Like you never had a little candy here and there." Myles kissed my temple. He raised his hand to wave as he walks away. "Peace out." Myles produced a real laugh.

  It roused me from my thought train of why there was a divide between Myles and Sawyer all of a sudden.

  Five boys who looked like they came straight out of drama practice walked up. They all had long hair and seemed to match Sawyer in dress except the one whose pimples had pimples. He had on an actual Manuscript t-shirt. Sawyer introduced them as the band that would open up for them. When he introduced me as Myles’s girlfriend, they seemed surprised I even existed. I smiled as Myles came back from the john and took the time to speak to each of the five boys, then introduced them each to me. Rick, Jesse, Rob, and Daryl made up the Rad Five. They were stoked to be opening for Manuscript on the North America leg of their next tour. We politely said our goodbyes and made our way to where Jay was sitting with a group of men. I later learned they were the executives of the record label Manuscript had signed with.

  Myles made the obligated small talk before saying goodbye to a few musicians and calling to have his car bought around to the building's front.

  After the party, Myles took me out to a spot the high schoolers called lover's lane. It was a dirt road that was lined for miles with cotton fields. He wanted to forget the fame and have one normal experience with me before leaving for another worldwide tour. I had no idea when I would see him again as I climbed into his backseat. Myles bent down and pressed a line of kisses across my lips. "I love you more," he whispered, then rained kisses all over my face. He promised that he would always take care of me.

  "You might love me, but you don't love me more than I love you," I cried out and whimpered as I clung to his arms. I loved him, forever and always.

  "I am not saying, I love you more than you love me. I am saying I love you more than my music. I love you more than any troubles the world throws at us. I love you more than perverts love watching porn." One of his substantial hand snaked around my neck and twisted through my hair. The other greedily palmed my breast. "I just love you so much it hurts when I’m not with you."

  I couldn’t help but notice the way his tongue brushed across his bottom lip.

  On a cold December day, we both lost our virginity. Or at least that was what I thought.

  Chapter 12

  “I

  'm trying to get back for prom," Myles said, but his attention wandered off to something on the other side of the phone.

  "Earth to Myles," I said with a woo who.

  "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so damn tired. I haven't slept in three nights. It's hard being on the road. It's crazy. I need you." That confession clawed at a deep part of my being, and it obliterated me, he was hurting, and I couldn't do anything to ease the pain.

  "I don't care about prom. Maybe, I can talk Granny into coming to see you."

  "Baby, as much as I crave your touch. Right now, it isn't the best timing."

  Jay had sent a letter, wanting me to surprise Myles with a visit. I had placed the note on my bedside table. Hopefully, he included a way to contact him. Myles would never ask me to come, knowing I hated the last time I did. The more I thought about it, the more the idea of surprising him felt like a great idea.

  I heard a crash then Myles streamed a line of cuss words over the phone. "I've got to go, babe." The call went silent.

  I raced to my bedroom and fished around in the stack of papers on my bedside table until I came across the letter containing Jay's personal information. It was entirely out of my comfort zone to go in cahoots with Jay, but at that point, I would have done whatever it took to figure out what was truly going on with Myles and the band.

  My hand trembled as I made a long-distance phone call to Jay. He answered on the second ring, and I slipped off the barstool when he accepted the charges. There was a hard edge to him, a darkness that kept his motives hidden.

  Jay arranged the entire short trip to attend their concert at LA Memorial Coliseum, the homeplace to most of the 1984 Summer Olympics. He even talked Granny into letting me come on such short notice.

  The plane had a long layover in Dallas, so I could not see Myles before the concert started. Jay did have a seat reserved to give me a direct view of Myles and blinded by a spotlight. Which only caused the band to be a fuzzy blur of motion.

  Myles didn't possess the same quality to his performance I had come to expect from him. Even when he did sing, his voice was off. His eyes didn't seem to be able to focus. He dropped his drum sticks twice. His entire demeanor had changed, and it made me uncomfortable.

  After the final encore, Jay appeared at my back and clutched my arm. "Myles has to make an appearance backstage and with the reporters. I have a driver ready to take you to get something to eat, and when Myles makes it back to the bus, they will bring you
to see him. I have a feeling you both will never forget tonight."

  I slid into the backseat of a black Lincoln with one of the band's chauffeurs over an hour later. The window separating the back from the front seat lowered. The driver, a small older lady with silvery-white hair, asked me if Italian was fine. It didn't matter. I just needed to be in Myles’s arms and know everything was right with the world.

  I stared out the window at the lights dotting across the city sky, but I didn't see anything. Something was gnawing at the pit of my stomach. The driver pulled the car up to a small restaurant, and I shifted in my seat nervously. "Is Myles meeting me here?"

  She turned to hold my look. "I don't think so. Jay said he would call. Get you something to eat. You will need the energy to keep up with Myles and his needs."

  The restaurant had a waiting list, but Jay had called ahead and had a table waiting for me. I was seated quickly. My neck hairs pricked to attention, and my pulse quickened as I realized Jay was being uncharacteristically nice. I took a deep breath and decided it was not the time to sort out the clusterfuck in my head.

  My eyes wandered, glancing over the couples, eating, and not worrying about someone taking a photo and writing a misleading headline. I envied their hand-holding, the stolen kisses, the whispers of sweet nothings. I wondered if they were in love, the way Myles and I were? My eyes swooped over the room once more when the driver came in to tell me that Myles had made it back to the band's bus.

  As if the driver understood the power of silence, she didn't speak until we pulled up to the farthest bus in the parking lot. "Myles does love you," the driver said, almost as if it was a warning.

  When I opened the car door, the darkness struck me as odd. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

  Jay greeted me and tipped his head in the direction of the bus. "Myles is already celebrating."

  The corner of my mouth turned up in a fake smile. I could pretend we had a mutual friendship.

  Jay tapped a finger over his bottom lip. "Shhh, it's a surprise."

  The humid air whipped my hair around the front of my face, sending chills down my body as I opened the door to the bus. A loud moan came from inside the small room Myles called his home away from home.