A moment passed and then the barn door slid open. Of course, Johnny burst through, searching left and right. Spying her on the ground, he rushed to her side. “Oh hell, Sara Beth, what happened? Are you alright?” He checked her form and then righted the chair, removing it from the uneven surface between the pavement and cement. Kneeling beside her again, he crouched low enough to slide his arm beneath her legs and hoist her up in a cradle hold. All that before she could answer.
“I’m fine. I bumped my head, but it’s nothing.” Sara Beth chewed on her lower lip as he settled her back into her traitorous seat.
He’d left the door open and she couldn’t help but try to see around him for a peek inside.
Glancing over his shoulder, Johnny looked back at her. “Do you want to go in?”
“No, that’s okay.” She waved her fingers at the ground. “Thank you again, for...”
“Of course.” He tucked his hands in his pockets as if trying not to reach for her and turned toward the door. “Well, I better get back to it.”
“Wait.” Sara Beth’s shoulders tensed. She didn’t want to beg for him to like her, but that seemed to be the way it was going.
He paused, watching her with wariness dragging his mouth down at the corners.
“I’m sorry. I... I want to tell you so bad why I need to get to know Lisa, but I can’t. Not yet. I just... I just need you to trust me on this, okay?” Her secret about Lisa threatened her sanity. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She didn’t have a reason to be mad at Johnny. He might have a good reason to be upset with her, but she didn’t want him to pull away. “I want our friendship back. I miss you.” The last part hurt. She’d never allowed herself to care about anyone enough to miss them, except her mom and Rosie.
The truth about her affections for Johnny stung and that made Sara Beth more than a little irritated.
“I miss you, too.” The angles of his face softened and he stepped toward her enough to make her feel less alone. “But I have to protect myself. She’s not a good person. Not like you are.”
The barn door swayed a little in the breeze and Sara Beth tensed, unable to answer Johnny. Too much of her ached at not seeing the horses in so long. But what did she do? Even touching them wasn’t likely. She couldn’t reach high enough to brush them or comfortably rub their necks.
Pasting a polite smile on, Sara Beth wheeled her seat toward the house.
Stopping halfway to the ramp, she turned. “You know what? We can still be friends. Just don’t come around when Lisa’s here. Is that okay? She had to offer a simple enough Band-Aid for the problem, or she’d never get any peace. Everyone would just have to ignore how temporary the solution was.
He leaned his head back, gazing at her from under the dark brim of his hat. “You won’t be in therapy forever, right?” His gray eyes sparked with interest and a slight hint of promise.
“Right.” She didn’t add that she hoped she had a sister forever. Her experience with people didn’t lend credence to the suggestion that Johnny would be around long – no matter how amazing that spark promised to be.
Her gaze flickered beyond him, then back to his face. She rubbed her neck, trying to ease the knot that threatened just between her shoulder blades. “I’m sorry, it’s hard...”
“Let me take you inside. We’ll go slow.” He stepped once toward her, pivoting on his hind-positioned foot as if to suggest she could do it, but more likely allowing her to decide.
But Sara Beth couldn’t bring herself to make the move. “Thanks, but I want to ride them too bad. “ She shrugged. “I want to so bad.” Awkward laughter covered the whimper she almost released. “But look at me, right? Seeing those animals reminds me of my limitations too much, you know? I’m not strong enough...” She waved her hand, scrunching her nose. “For facing that yet.” The hardest part was that maybe – and most likely – she missed the horses – even Sugar – more than she’d thought possible. What if they didn’t even remember her? Her only friends.
Admitting her fear hurt – even if it was only to herself – and she winced with a smile on her face.
“Are we friends, then?” He taunted her with an arched eyebrow and curved lips.
Sara Beth ignored the tingle in her stomach at his teasing, at the way even the shadow of his hat couldn’t hide the golden hue of his eyebrows. “Of course. What else would we be?” She didn’t dare to hope for anything more. What would she say? Oh, Johnny, I wished upon a star that you might like me – even with wheels for legs? Get real.
“Okay, then let’s trust each other, too.” He approached her, spinning her to the house, the muscles in his forearms rippled. “I think if either of our feelings change, then we need to let the other one know immediately. Deal?”
Half-turning in her seat, Sara Beth offered her hand. Their fingers curled around each other’s palms as they shook. “Deal.” Their skin connected and lingered a second longer than necessary. But Sara Beth politely ignored it. What else could she do? Beg him to look past the limitations of paraplegia so they could be together? She most likely could never have children or have a job.
She wouldn’t be offering him much and asking so much of him in exchange.
It wouldn’t be fair to appeal to his pity. She’d feel crappy$$ and he would resent her. Who wouldn’t, right? She’d end up trapping him in some kind of relationship where he stayed because he pitied her and she’d want to run him off because she could shower in his charity.
Soon they’d end up hating each other. But he wouldn’t leave her because he didn’t want to be that guy. And she wouldn’t leave him because she didn’t want to be alone.
Oh, she could see it all now.
Things would go downhill fast. And she didn’t have the best brakes on her chair.
Johnny
Chapter 15
“You know, I like being friends with you.” Johnny didn’t want to let Sara Beth’s fingers go. He really had missed her, couldn’t stop thinking about her. And the fact that Lisa was probably poisoning Sara Beth with lies about him addled his brain.
The teasing humor melted from her face. “But you know we can’t be anything more than that, right? We are just friends.” Her head bobbed with the last four syllables like a staccato for impact.
Four words that stung more and more with each head bounce.
“Well, we could be more. Don’t discount it so quickly.” Johnny would love to be able to sit with Sara Beth because he wanted to, stare at her, take in her laughter, maybe even lean in to briefly kiss her cheek – just because.
A faint smile added a bittersweet edge to her words. “Don’t do that. I’m not like the other girls you date or dated or whatever. I’m not Lisa. I don’t think you’re going to sexually harass me or anything. There’s nothing about me that’s sexy.” She huffed with incredulous laughter, gasping as if the very thought might give her a heart attack.
“I never said anything about the girls I’ve dated or even Lisa. Maybe I’m ready for a change from women who are interested only in makeup and how they walk and how many calories are in their lettuce.” He leaned down and fingered a small gleaming curl. “And, Sara Beth? There’s everything sexy about you.”
“No, I’m not.” She pushed softly at his shoulder, slowly closing her eyes and opening them in a disbelieving blink. “How old are you anyway?”
He straightened. How old did he look? Was she thinking he was some kind of pervert or something? “I’m twenty-four. Why? Do I look older?” He glanced around like he expected some full-length mirrors to be setup so he could double check.
Her genuine laugh warmed his chest with its sincere joy. “No, silly. You just talk like you’ve been around so long and you’re not much older than I am.”
“How old are you? Twelve?” He winked, sparking her mirth again. He wanted to kiss her, desperately. But even if she weren’t trying to choke him with her friend-talk, it wasn’t the time or the place to take advantage of their newly mended fences.
“Hardly. I’m nineteen.” Sadness shadowed her eyes. “Kind of young for all this, you know?” She opened her hands and encompassed her legs and chair.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You sure like to jump into those pity parties, don’t you? Is there a special place to buy the invitations?”
Her teeth parted in surprise. She bit the tip of her pink tongue. “Oh, you’re bad. Okay, I see how this is going to go. Fair enough. You tell me when I’m getting to be pathetic and I’ll tell you when you’re being harassing.” She brought her shoulder to her cheek and fluttered her lashes.
Johnny considered her for a moment. She had offered him more time with her with that statement, even if it wasn’t a direct promise. He nodded slowly. “Alright, that sounds fair.” He reached out and tugged gently on her sleeve. “Hey, why haven’t we talked about our age before now?”
Licking her lips, Sara Beth didn’t release his gaze. “I don’t know. Maybe it hadn’t mattered before now?”
The front door on the house slammed shut – startling Johnny and Sara Beth from their gaze-lock. Rosie called down to Sara Beth. “Hey, you okay down there?”
“Yeah, just going for a... roll?” Sara Beth wrinkled her lips up, watching Johnny for a cue.
“Well, come on in. We need to fill out this paperwork and Michael said he needs to talk to you.” She disappeared into the house, leaving Johnny to stare at Sara Beth.
She offered a slight frown. “I need to go apparently. Want to come see me tomorrow after lunch? You can have some lemonade and we can stay in the shade. It’s my favorite time of the day.” Hope lit up her eyes with a sparkling intensity.
He couldn’t say no, even if he wanted. Which he didn’t, even a bit. “Sounds great. Thanks.”
She maneuvered the chair back around.
Without thinking, Johnny leapt forward and grabbed the handles on the back of the seat. He pushed her up the ramp to the front door.
“Thank you.” She glanced at him through dark brown lashes.
Johnny could only nod as she followed her sister inside.
She wanted to see the horses and he wanted to help her – more than Lisa could.
An idea tickled at the back of his mind. He had to speak to Michael first and make some calls, but if his plan worked, she’d stop talking about this “friend” crap and start looking at him the way she should be looking at him – like her knight on a horse, who continued saving the day.
NERVES CLANGING IN his chest, Johnny strolled – careful to keep his pace normal – around the deck the next afternoon. He’d set everything up and still he was nervous as hell that she wouldn’t like his surprise. It’d taken extreme cajoling to get people into place on such short notice. She had to like it... she just had to.
Rounding the corner of the house, he stopped, startled at Sara Beth’s appearance.
Where normally a hastily pulled-back ponytail and clean face were, she’d allowed her golden curls to fall around her face, clipped carefully to the side. She glanced over his way and a soft pinking of her lips enhanced the clear blue of her eyes which were framed by dark lashes. She’d discarded her normal t-shirt and yoga pants for jeans and a flannel with purple coloring.
It was the first time he’d seen her in something other than mud, hospital gown, or comfort. He liked the change. A lot.
“Sara Beth, you look amazing.” He approached her carefully, like maybe she was going to tell him she had to cancel because she had plans with someone else... gulp... some other guy. He almost couldn’t breathe with the possibility looming over him.
She reached for her hair, pushing it around as she tried to cover a smile. “Thanks. I’m getting sick of looking like an invalid, you know?” She reached forward to hand him a glass of yellow liquid clanking with ice cubes. “So, what should we do this afternoon? Rosie said we have chess or other board games inside. She’d be happy to bring us one, if you’d like?” She placed her hand on his forearm, stopping him from taking a drink, concern marring her features. “You know how to play chess, right?”
“Of course. Chess has the ships, right?” He sipped his juice, careful not to give away the abundance of excitement zinging through him. He laughed at her dismayed expression. “I’m kidding. Actually, I was wondering if you’d be interested in going with me for a drive. We can take the truck and we won’t be gone too long.”
Her amusement faded and she glanced over her shoulder, then down into her lap. Shaking her head, she inspected her soft pink nails. “No, I better not. I don’t think Rosie would like it.” She glanced up and then quickly back down.
“Well, you know what? I already asked Rosie and Michael and we have their full support. In fact, Michael is getting a seat ready for you in the truck as we speak.” He rested his glass on the railing and then stood to the side while he waited for Sara Beth to copy him.
When she did, elation welled within his chest and goose bumps raised on his arms. She really did trust him. She hadn’t even asked where they were going.
She preceded him along the perimeter of the deck to the ramp where Johnny seized the handles. The last thing he wanted was to see her roll forward and then fall. He helped her down the gradual incline, adjusting his Stetson before pulling her up alongside the ranch truck.
Michael double-checked a seatbelt and then motioned for Johnny to get on the other side of Sara Beth. Each with an arm behind her back and an arm locked under her legs, they carefully lifted her up into the passenger seat. Johnny turned her carefully on the cushion until she faced forward. While Michael assisted her in buckling her seatbelt, Johnny folded up the wheelchair and lifted it to the bed of the truck.
Closing her door, Michael approached Johnny and spoke in low tones. “If for any reason, she doesn’t want to do it, don’t push her. You understand?”
“I won’t. I’m doing this only because I want her to be happy. That’s all. She’s not going to get hurt.” Johnny reassured himself more than Michael with his pep talk. Yet, Michael nodded his head and slapped Johnny’s shoulder before heading toward the house.
Climbing into the driver’s seat, Johnny patted the steering wheel and turned the key. “Ready, Sara Beth?”
“I think so.” She watched out the windshield with excitement lighting her normally somber face. “Where are we going?”
“Without sounding creepy – you’ll see.” He reached across the seat, resting his hand between them. He wanted to touch her. And even though she was adamant that they were just friends, maybe she’d take him up on the offer to hold hands. He just needed that connection. His nerves clanged louder.
She met him half-way and her fingers mingled with his.
Man, he was definitely on the rebound. Hopefully, she wasn’t keeping score. Because at that point, he’d put himself out there more than he was ready to.
More than he had cautioned himself to.
Johnny
Chapter 16
Sara Beth watched the large arch as they passed underneath it. “Lonely River Ranch? Are we at the MacAllisters’?”
Johnny could only nod. He’d held her hand the entire way there. Their conversation had been sweet, simple. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d just been happy. The plain and simple kind of happy that came so easily with Sara Beth.
She blew out, long and low, the sound barely audible in the cab. “I’ve never been here. So many people stay here though.” Eyes wide, she glanced at him. “I heard the driveway is heated.”
Johnny laughed. He’d been surprised to learn that fun fact as well. “It is.”
Suddenly, Sara Beth studied him like he’d lost all trustworthiness. “What are we doing here, Johnny?”
His answering grin reached his toes. He’d never been good with secrets, but this one? He’d kept it just to be able to see her face.
Sara Beth leaned back in her seat, pulling her hand from his and then folding her hands in her lap. Her knuckles whitened as she wrung her fingers. As much as he’d like to relieve her nerv
es, the surprise was worth a little bit more anxiety.
He spun the steering wheel and pulled the truck into a parking spot along the side of the barn.
Rolling emerald lawns rounded the spatial house. Wrought iron statues and posts decorated the estate in different areas, the black contrasting with the wooden exterior.
“I think I’d like to own a place like this.” His comment had been more to himself but Sara Beth looked around, her awe more agreement than anything she could’ve said.
“Wow, it’s really beautiful. I could see you at a place like this.” She unbuckled her belt. “Are we getting out or are we going somewhere else?”
Johnny chuckled. Her excitement at seeing the popular dude-style ranch was palpable. And he agreed. He hadn’t seen it since before the twin brothers had renovated it and twisted it into the premier go-to place for the summer for anyone interested in stories based on mines, feuds, or the general outdoors. “Just a second. I’ll get your chair.”
Climbing from the truck, he rounded the tailgate, pulling it down to remove the folded wheelchair. Snapping the seat open, he locked everything into place and rolled it toward her door.
“Hey, Johnny! You’re early. I’m glad you made it.” Robbie MacAllister waved from the door of the barn. Sauntering toward the truck, he reached out and shook Johnny’s hand. “Nice to see you, man. Slate’s inside helping to settle the horse. Have you told her anything yet?”
Both men glanced at the wide blue eyes peering through the window at everything and anything. Johnny shook his head. “Not yet. Hey, would you mind helping me get her to her seat? This is the first real trip away from the ranch and we’re trying to figure it out.”
“Of course.” Robbie moved around to the far side of the chair while Johnny opened the door.
“Hi, Mr. MacAllister.” Sara Beth breathed.
Robbie moved up alongside her, watching Johnny for his cue. “Hi, there Sara Beth. Do me a favor and call me Robbie. Mr. MacAllister is either my father, who’s dead or my brother, who might soon be, if he doesn’t listen to me.” He winked as he copied Johnny’s movements.
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