Riding for Redemption

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Politely, she nodded again. “No, guys, I’m serious. That’s amazing. I only wish I’d thought of it first.”

  Robbie and Slate glanced at each other and then to Rosie and Michael before looking back to Sara Beth. Slate picked up where Robbie left off. “I don’t think Robbie was very clear. We would like to expand our services and we’d like to offer you the position as trainer.”

  Trainer. Her own job. But she wasn’t supposed to be able to be independent. Isn’t that what she’d feared when this had all started? When she’d stolen the horse and fallen? Her independence had been traded for her pride. That’s what she’d accustomed herself to.

  She wasn’t going to get into the Circuit and its competition. She wasn’t stupid. Mayfair would do his best to make sure she didn’t compete. He was easily spotted as that kind of man.

  And if the only reason she was doing the pageant was because of some need to be accepted – she’d drop out of it. But the chance that she’d see Johnny, the chance that for a day or two she could pretend that she was doing things that she’d always been fated to do, well that would keep her heading toward Butte next week. No matter what.

  But... the MacAllisters offering her a position doing something meaningful? How could she turn that down? “I don’t really have the words.” Stunned at their idea, she licked her lips. “Are you sure? I can’t help anyone into their seat. I’m pretty ineffective that way, now.”

  Robbie shrugged, meeting her gaze without guile or condescension. “You’re not there to help them. You’re there to train them. We’ll have horses specially trained by Michael – according to specifications from Bull – on how to react and respond to the varying cues and demands of the clients.” He glanced at Michael then back to her. “We understand that you’ve been pretty fortunate that Sugar took to that style of riding, but Bull assures us, it’s the first time he’s ever seen that fast of an acclimation. We will need a few weeks for the horses to be readied, which of course, we’d love for you to help with.”

  Not there to do the tedious work. But to share her excitement over the horses? Help train the horses? And maybe see the happiness on their faces as they realize they aren’t as limited as they’d despaired?

  Tears pricked her eyes, the possibilities were endless and a knot tightened in her throat. She worked on releasing it but ended up coughing just to speak. “How can I say no to that? Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “I have the rodeo expo next week though. Can we wait until I get back to hash things out and get started?”

  “Of course. We hear it’s going to be pretty big. You’re going to do great. We’ve seen you on that horse. Amazing Sugar is the one that threw you in the first place.” Slate shook his head. “We’ll come around next week. We’re definitely looking forward to this venture, Sara Beth. Welcome to the Lonely Rivers’ family.”

  Both men stood and bent down to hug her. Michael walked them out and Sara Beth just sat in her seat, reeling at the turn her life had just taken.

  Rosie leaned over and lightly slapped Sara Beth’s shoulder. “Oh my word! You have a job! What happens if you get onto the Circuit?”

  Sara Beth lifted her shoulder to her cheek. “Seriously? I’m not getting on there. And you know it.”

  “Why not? You’ve been riding great. Everything else is ready. You can do it. Don’t doubt yourself now.” Rosie lifted her eyebrow.

  “I’m doing great – for someone who can’t make those higher jumps. I pull back before we’re even fifteen feet away. I choke.” She hadn’t spoken the truth out loud – not even to Sugar.

  She just wanted the fact to go away. As much freedom as the riding gave her – heck, four new legs instead of two broken down ones – she still couldn’t get past her limitations.

  Limitations were so... limiting.

  “I know it seems like I’m lassoing the wrong topic, but what about the wedding?” Sara Beth scrunched her nose. Her sister had asked her to be a part of the planning as well as the actual ceremony. In all honesty, she’d been stressing more about that event than even the riding competition.

  “What about it? You getting a job won’t keep me from getting married. I deserve this. I deserve Michael and all that he has to offer me. And he deserves me.” Rosie’s cheeks pinkened but she didn’t look away. “And I deserve to have my sister in the wedding.”

  “Oh, Rosie, I’m so glad to hear you say that. You both are amazing together and I can’t wait to roll up the aisle for you – I might even bling out the wheels.” Sara Beth winked. She hated shiny things and loved teasing Rosie who felt the same way.

  “We could glue flowers everywhere the sparkles aren’t.” Rosie tossed back.

  They fell into a comfortable silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

  Rosie broke the quiet after a moment. “Do you think you’ll see him there?”

  Him didn’t need to be defined. Him... Just the possibility that he’d be there made her pulse speed up and her breathing quicken. She missed him. “I hope so. Because if I don’t, what’s the point?”

  Sara Beth

  Chapter 22

  Sara Beth gripped the reins, her hands shaking. Strapped into the saddle-seat by Michael, she knew she wasn’t going anywhere. Yet... she had one high jump to make with everything else on the course and she hadn’t finished one yet, even in practice.

  Sugar’s haunches quivered, sensing Sara Beth’s anticipation. They’d grown so close over the last five weeks. The horse and rider more friends than anything.

  “It’s okay, girl. We can do it.” Glancing around at the stadium-style stands, Sara Beth fought the nausea working up the back of her throat. If she fell in front of all those people... what if they had to carry her off on a stretcher? What if she came in too late? What if she didn’t even make the first turn? What if Sugar slipped into her old habits and took control?

  A hand patted her knee, pulling her attention down.

  Johnny tipped his hat, peering up at her as he resettled it on his blond waves. “Hey, stop freaking out. You’re going to do amazing.” He stroked Sugar’s shiny mane and leaned in to the curve of her neck. “Trust yourself and your horse. Remember?”

  She couldn’t believe he stood there, so close to her. Emotion choked her response. She nodded. After a moment, the ability to speak returned. “You’re here.”

  “I told you I’d be here.” His hand stalled and he looked at her with the faintest degree of accusation.

  “But you left. Like you didn’t care.” She rubbed at her eyes, forbidding them from crying. Thankfully, she’d omitted makeup. Why wear it when it might irritate her eyes and damage her vision?

  She’d missed Johnny so much. He’d left with a large part of her in his back pocket. “You never even called me.” She ended on a whisper.

  “Only until today. I can’t even hold your hand, Sara Beth. After Tim decides if you’re in or not based on your ride, then you and I can talk. He’s not going to let you do this if there’s anything even closely resembling a ‘you and I’.” He pointed his finger, wagging it back and forth between them. “I’m trying to protect you.”

  Rodeo clowns cleared the bales from the teen group competing for a spot to ride for the Circuit that year. Because Sara Beth didn’t fit in one group or the other because of her age and her disability, Tim had made the concession that she could ride on her own. This only scared her more. A fact that he probably hoped for. Tim hadn’t taken out the jumps for Sara Beth’s ride, insisting that everything else stay the same as his Miss Wrangler Montana competition.

  Normal rodeo used barrel-racing as its main form of agility and handling competition, but Tim’s committee board had added in the extras to make it harder on the women. Like parading around in a bikini for a group of critical judges wasn’t hard enough.

  A man with a mic stuck to his hat leaned over the fence and patted the metal post for her attention. “Ms. Scott, you have two minutes.”

  She looked to Johnny for guidance. She didn’t want to leav
e him. He might disappear again and she didn’t want to lose him. Even if they couldn’t be together in a romantic way, she wanted her friend back. He’d been the first one to like her regardless of her new situation.

  Johnny stepped back, crossing his arms. “You’re going to do great. I’ll be right here watching.”

  The same man called out. “Thirty seconds.”

  Crap. Sara Beth, get your head in the ride. She leaned down to Sugar. “Come on, girl. Let’s ride.”

  The gate opened, but Sara Beth had to hold her position until...

  A loud horn blasted the start. Sugar bolted from the holding stall, displaying Sara Beth and her special saddle-seat to the entire arena.

  She took a warm up lap, trying to ignore the exclamatory gasps as she rode by. But then the announcer pulled the rest of the crowd’s attention to her condition. “Ladies and gentleman, we have a special case tonight. Ms. Sara Beth Scott is riding in the paraplegic leg, a new one to the Circuit, to determine her seating for Miss Wrangler Montana. As she starts her course, please support her efforts.”

  The patronizing tone infused her with steely nerves. She clenched the upper portion of her thighs – well, she hoped they clenched. The tingly areas sometimes responded with short spasms and jerks, but then again, she could be imagining things.

  Sugar tossed her head at the start – ready – Sara Beth was too. She gave the cue and Sugar responded.

  Bam! In seconds they’d reached admirable speed, gliding smoothly over the churned, dark dirt. They cleared one shallow jump, weaved around posts, ducked under a railing, took the gratuitous barrel turn and broke into the run toward the final jump. The big one. And it wasn’t even as high as the log that she’d fallen on.

  An echo of Johnny encouraging her drowned out the thudding of Sugar’s horseshoes and the seat creaked as she hunkered forward. “Come on, Sugar. Let’s take that stupid fence.”

  They pounded toward it, the distance cutting in half, in half again to mere feet. The leather reins cut into Sara Beth’s palms with her intense grip on the straps.

  Weightless. And a flashback of that afternoon as she’d sailed through the air, without a saddle to hold onto, Sugar hadn’t bucked her off, she’d slid on something, missed her footing.

  In that space of a moment, Sara Beth released her fear and allowed the horse to do her job.

  They landed with a solid thud smoothed out by the easy gait of the mare. Slowing, Sugar rounded the last barrel and drew up at the line. Tossing her mane, the horse pranced.

  Sara Beth patted her neck, pleased with the results. Even if Tim wasn’t impressed, Sara Beth knew she’d done well.

  The crowd stood, applause swelled around her. Glancing around at the ovation, Sara Beth’s attempt to hide her joy failed. Raising both fists in the air, she shook them at the sky.

  She hadn’t lost anything that day. In fact, she had a strange sensation that she’d found so much more.

  “WELL, WELL, MS. SCOTT. I have to say I’m impressed by how you handled that horse and the course.” Tim Mayfair, hands in the pockets of his overworked tweed pants, rocked back and forth on his feet beside the gate to Sugar’s holding pen.

  Sara Beth hadn’t dismounted and the difference in heights as she looked down on him dizzied her for a moment. She pressed her fingers to her forehead. “Thank you, Mr. Mayfair.”

  “I think with the audience investment in your case, we could make this work as a joint venture between us. Welcome to the Circuit on a conditional basis.” He held out his hand to shake.

  Not meeting the gesture even half-way, Sara Beth arched her eyebrow. “Conditional?”

  He slowly dropped his hand. “Of course. You can’t participate in the swimsuit contest or in the ball gown department. You won’t be in the running for first place – or any place for that matter.” He laughed, his round belly shaking like mud around a stampede. “But you will receive an honorary award for trying.”

  Sara Beth cut in before his laughter could echo around the barn again. “Thank you, but I’m going to pass. Good day, Mr. Mayfair.” She turned the horse around, returning Sugar to Michael and the stall. If Mr. Mayfair left, she didn’t know it – nor did she care.

  She had more important things to get excited for.

  Conditional her butt!

  Johnny

  Chapter 23

  Watching Sara Beth take the final jump, knowing her fear had finally been conquered, filled Johnny with an intense satisfaction. Even if Tim didn’t allow her onto the Circuit, she’d ridden better than most of professional riders. Judging by the crowd’s reaction, they knew it too.

  She trotted her horse toward the return gate.

  Johnny stood to the side, careful to keep her in view.

  At the gate, where most of the other riders would swing off the saddle and let the assistants care for the horses, Sara Beth waved to Michael and he took the reins, towing her deeper into the bowels of the rodeo barn.

  Johnny spun on his boot and rushed back into the holding area. He’d scouted out the Rourke Ranch stalls while waiting for Sara Beth to arrive. Finding them was easier than getting to them through the throng of people and animals.

  From forty feet away, Johnny hesitated in his footing at seeing Tim approaching Sara Beth from the opposite side. A large Arabian crossed in front of Johnny, blocking him from view. The moment passed and Tim was gone.

  Searching the crowd for his uncle, Johnny finally reached Sara Beth. He reached up with Michael and helped her dismount and settle into her chair set up on the side of the stall. Michael pulled Sugar inside and removed the tack, giving Johnny and Sara Beth some privacy.

  Looking around once more, Johnny sat on the bench a foot from Sara Beth. “What happened? That was fast. He’d be a fool not to let you on.”

  Eyes aglow with her success, Sara Beth’s words tumbled out. “He agreed to let me into the competition.”

  Gut sinking, Johnny forced excitement. “Oh, that’s terrific. You’ll enjoy the Circuit. There’s a lot going on.” He’d miss her though. But it was what she wanted.

  She shook her head, eyes dancing. “I turned him down.”

  “You what? Why? This is your dream.” Flabbergasted, he watched her. If she toyed with him, he didn’t know what he would do with the hopeful emotions rising inside him.

  “No. Independence is my dream. Not a pageant. I just always thought this was the only way I’d get it.” She half-shrugged, unstrapping the helmet-like hat covering her burnished curls.

  “Isn’t it?” He sent a silent prayer out to the heavens. He hadn’t had a chance to talk with Slate and Robbie since he’d told them his idea. They’d jumped on the opportunity and had the papers brought up for the partnership. Part of Johnny didn’t want to know if Sara Beth had agreed or not. He really only wanted her to be happy with whatever she chose to do.

  “No. I’m going to be training horses and riders at the Lonely Rivers Ranch. I actually got a job doing something I love.” She bounced in the seat, hands clenched in her lap.

  Refusing to lie, or even hide anything from her, Johnny held out his hand. “Well, I’m glad to have you on board.”

  She wrinkled her forehead and slowly took his proffered hand. “What do you mean? I just told you I’m not going to be on the Circuit.”

  “Me either. My uncle doesn’t need me and I thought you’d be riding with them. I didn’t want to get in your way. Then I had the idea for the therapeutic saddle training school at Lonely Rivers and the training position just seemed a natural fit for you.” He reluctantly released her fingers. “I’m a full partner in the training business out there.”

  Lips parted, Sara Beth stared at Johnny for almost a minute. She blinked. “Are you serious?”

  “Yep.” Her reaction mattered very much to him. He waited for more.

  “I work for you, now?” Her joy morphed into a frown and her lower lip trembled.

  “Not necessarily...” He allowed his voice to trail off. How did he proceed? How d
id he tell her everything in his heart? Without scaring her off?

  Clearing his throat, Johnny adjusted the collar on his shirt before looking into the dusky blue of Sara Beth’s eyes. “I’ve wanted to get my own place for a while, but I always thought I had to work the Circuit because I’m a Mayfair. I found out I don’t have to and my uncle has agreed to buy my shares of the Mayfair estate. I didn’t realize how much I was worth.”

  His sardonic laugh fell softly between them. “I know I just left without any explanations. I’m not perfect.” He scooted closer to her, taking her hands in his. “But I know you. I can’t stop thinking about you, making plans for my future and they all center around you.” He searched her face for acknowledgement, even a hint that she might feel the same way.

  He reached up and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, his chest aching with emotion. “Sara Beth, I really like you. I would love to date you officially. I’ve missed you so much. I can get that ranch south of Colby. I’ll be close enough to Rourke Ranch, we can hang out whenever you want. You can work with me at Lonely Rivers. What do you say?” He swallowed, his mouth dry. He had to add one last plea. “You became my closest friend and if nothing else, I want that back. I miss you.”

  Eyes shining with unshed tears, Sara Beth shook her head slowly side to side.

  Johnny’s stomach dropped and what felt like a solid axe split through his heart. He swallowed. “No?”

  She burst out laughing mingled with sobs. “You dolt. I can’t wait to work with you. And I’ve missed you so much. Not no. Just...” The tears fell and she pointed at her legs. “I don’t want you to date me, maybe we even fall for each other and then get married without you knowing that I might not be able to have kids. I can’t give up trying to get Lisa to see me as her sister. I don’t want to let you down – chain you to this life with me when you could be with someone who’s... I don’t know, normal?”