That Sweet Little Old Lady

by Randall Garrett

  III

  The telephone rang.

  Malone rolled over on the couch and muttered under his breath. Was itabsolutely necessary for someone to call him at seven in the morning?

  He grabbed at the receiver with one hand, and picked up his cigar fromthe ashtray with the other. It was bad enough to be awakened from asound sleep--but when a man hadn't been sleeping at all, it was evenworse.

  He'd been sitting up since before five that morning, worrying about thetelepathic spy, and at the moment he wanted sleep more than he wantedphone calls.

  "Gur?" he said, sleepily and angrily, thankful that he'd never had avisiphone installed in his apartment.

  A feminine voice said: "Mr. Kenneth J. Malone?"

  "Who's this?" Malone said peevishly, beginning to discover himselfcapable of semirational English speech.

  "Long distance from San Francisco," the voice said.

  "It certainly is," Malone said. "Who's calling?"

  "San Francisco is calling," the voice said primly.

  Malone repressed a desire to tell the voice off, and said instead:"_Who_ in San Francisco?"

  There was a momentary hiatus, and then the voice said: "Mr. Thomas Boydis calling, sir. He says this is a scramble call."

  Malone took a drag from his cigar and closed his eyes. Obviously thecall was a scramble. If it had been clear, the man would have dialeddirect, instead of going through what Malone now recognized as anoperator.

  "Mr. Boyd says he is the Agent-in-Charge of the San Francisco office ofthe FBI," the voice offered.

  "And quite right, too," Malone told her. "All right. Put him on."

  "One moment." There was a pause, a click, another pause and then anotherclick. At last the operator said: "Your party is ready, sir."

  Then there was still another pause. Malone stared at the audio receiver.He began to whistle "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling."

  * * * * *

  "Hello? Malone?"

  "I'm here, Tom," Malone said guiltily. "This is me. What's the trouble?"

  "Trouble?" Boyd said. "There isn't any trouble. Well, not really. Ormaybe it is. I don't know."

  Malone scowled at the audio receiver, and for the first time wished hehad gone ahead and had a video circuit put in, so that Boyd could seethe horrendous expression on his face.

  "Look," he said. "It's seven here and that's too early. Out there, it'sfour, and that's practically ridiculous. What's so important?"

  He knew perfectly well that Boyd wasn't calling him just for the fun ofit. The man was a good agent. But why a call at this hour?

  Malone muttered under his breath. Then, self-consciously, he squashedout his cigar and lit a cigarette while Boyd was saying: "Ken, I thinkwe may have found what you've been looking for."

  It wasn't safe to say too much, even over a scrambled circuit. ButMalone got the message without difficulty.

  "Yeah?" he said, sitting up on the edge of the couch. "You sure?"

  "Well," Boyd said, "no. Not absolutely sure. Not absolutely. But it isworth your taking a personal look, I think."

  "Ah," Malone said cautiously. "An imbecile?"

  "No," Boyd said flatly. "Not an imbecile. Definitely not an imbecile. Asa matter of fact, a hell of a fat long way from an imbecile."

  Malone glanced at his watch and skimmed over the airline timetables inhis mind. "I'll be there nine o'clock, your time," he said. "Have a carwaiting for me at the field."

  * * * * *

  As usual, Malone managed to sleep better on the plane than he'd beenable to do at home. He slept so well, in fact, that he was still groggywhen he stepped into the waiting car.

  "Good to see you, Ken," Boyd said briskly, as he shook Malone's hand.

  "You, too, Tom," Malone said sleepily. "Now what's all this about?" Helooked around apprehensively. "No bugs in this car, I hope?" he said.

  Boyd gunned the motor and headed toward the San Francisco Freeway."Better not be," he said, "or I'll fire me a technician or two."

  "Well, then," Malone said, relaxing against the upholstery, "where isthis guy, and who is he? And how did you find him?"

  Boyd looked uncomfortable. It was, somehow, both an awe-inspiring and aslightly risible sight. Six feet one and one half inches tall in hisflat feet, Boyd ported around over two hundred and twenty pounds ofbone, flesh and muscle. He swung a potbelly of startling proportionsunder the silk shirting he wore, and his face, with its wide nose, smalleyes and high forehead, was half highly mature, half startlinglychildlike. In an apparent effort to erase those childlike qualities,Boyd sported a fringe of beard and a mustache which reminded Malone ofsomebody he couldn't quite place.

  But whoever the somebody was, his hair hadn't been black, as Boyd'swas--

  He decided it didn't make any difference. Anyhow, Boyd was speaking.

  "In the first place," he said, "it isn't a guy. In the second, I'm notexactly sure who it is. And in the third, Ken, I didn't find it."

  There was a little silence.

  "Don't tell me," Malone said. "It's a telepathic horse, isn't it? Tom, Ijust don't think I could stand a telepathic horse--"

  "No," Boyd said hastily. "No. Not at all. No horse. It's a dame. I meana lady." He looked away from the road and flashed a glance at Malone.His eyes seemed to be pleading for something--understanding, possibly,Malone thought. "Frankly," Boyd said, "I'd rather not tell you anythingabout her just yet. I'd rather you met her first. Then you could make upyour own mind. All right?"

  "All right," Malone said wearily. "Do it your own way. How far do wehave to go?"

  "Just about an hour's drive," Boyd said. "That's all."

  Malone slumped back in the seat and pushed his hat over his eyes."Fine," he said. "Suppose you wake me up when we get there."

  But, groggy as he was, he couldn't sleep. He wished he'd had some coffeeon the plane. Maybe it would have made him feel better.

  Then again, coffee was only coffee. True, he had never acquired hisfather's taste for gin, but there was always bourbon.

  He thought about bourbon for a few minutes. It was a nice thought. Itwarmed him and made him feel a lot better. After a while, he even feltawake enough to do some talking.

  He pushed his hat back and struggled to a reasonable sitting position."I don't suppose you have a drink hidden away in the car somewhere?" hesaid tentatively. "Or would the technicians have found that, too?"

  "Better not have," Boyd said in the same tone as before, "or I'll fire acouple of technicians." He grinned without turning. "It's in the doorcompartment, next to the forty-five cartridges and the Tommy gun."

  Malone opened the compartment in the thick door of the car and extracteda bottle. It was brandy instead of the bourbon he had been thinkingabout, but he discovered that he didn't mind at all. It went down assmoothly as milk.

  Boyd glanced at it momentarily as Malone screwed the top back on.

  "No," Malone said in answer to the unspoken question. "You're driving."Then he settled back again and tipped his hat forward.

  He didn't sleep a wink. He was perfectly sure of that. But it wasn'tover two seconds later that Boyd said: "We're here, Ken. Wake up."

  "Whadyamean, wakeup," Malone said. "I wasn't asleep." He thumbed his hatback and sat up rapidly. "Where's 'here'?"

  "Bayview Neuropsychiatric Hospital," Boyd said. "This is where Dr.Harman works, you know."

  "No," Malone said. "As a matter of fact, I don't know. You didn't tellme--remember? And who is Dr. Harman, anyhow?"

  The car was moving up a long, curving driveway toward a large,lawn-surrounded building. Boyd spoke without looking away from the road.

  "Well," he said, "this Dr. Willard Harman is the man who phoned usyesterday. One of my field agents was out here asking around aboutimbeciles and so on. Found nothing, by the way. And then this Dr. Harmancalled, later. Said he had someone here I might be interested in. So Icame on out myself for a look, yesterday afternoon ... after all, we hadinstructi
ons to follow up every possible lead."

  "I know," Malone said. "I wrote them."

  "Oh," Boyd said. "Sure. Well, anyhow, I talked to this dame. Lady."

  "And?"

  "And I talked to her," Boyd said. "I'm not entirely sure of anythingmyself. But ... well, hell. You take a look at her."

  He pulled the car up to a parking space, slid nonchalantly into a slotmarked _Reserved--Executive Director Sutton_, and slid out from underthe wheel while Malone got out the other side.

  * * * * *

  They marched up the broad steps, through the doorway and into theglass-fronted office of the receptionist.

  Boyd showed her his little golden badge, and got an appropriate gasp."FBI," he said. "Dr. Harman's expecting us."

  The wait wasn't over fifteen seconds. Boyd and Malone marched down thehall and around a couple of corners, and came to the doctor's office.The door was opaqued glass with nothing but a room number stenciled onit. Without ceremony, Boyd pushed the door open. Malone followed himinside.

  The office was small but sunny. Dr. Willard Harman sat behind ablond-wood desk, a chunky little man with crew-cut blond hair andrimless eyeglasses, who looked about thirty-two and couldn't possibly,Malone thought, have been anywhere near that young. On a second look,Malone noticed a better age indication in the eyes and forehead, andrevised his first guess upward between ten and fifteen years.

  "Come in, gentlemen," Dr. Harman boomed. His voice was that rarity, areally loud high tenor.

  "Dr. Harman," Boyd said, "this is my superior, Mr. Malone. We'd like tohave a talk with Miss Thompson."

  "I anticipated that, sir," Dr. Harman said. "Miss Thompson is in thenext room. Have you explained to Mr. Malone that--"

  "I haven't explained a thing," Boyd said quickly, and added in what wasobviously intended to be a casual tone: "Mr. Malone wants to get apicture of Miss Thompson directly--without any preconceptions."

  "I see," Dr. Harman said. "Very well, gentlemen. Through this door."

  He opened the door in the right-hand wall of the room, and Malone tookone look. It was a long, long look. Standing framed in the doorway,dressed in the starched white of a nurse's uniform, was the mostbeautiful blonde he had ever seen.

  She had curves. She definitely had curves. As a matter of fact, Malonedidn't really think he had ever seen curves before. These were somethingnew and different and truly three-dimensional. But it wasn't the curves,or the long straight lines of her legs, or the quiet beauty of her face,that made her so special. After all, Malone had seen legs and bodies andfaces before.

  At least, he thought he had. Off-hand, he couldn't remember where.Looking at the girl, Malone was ready to write brand-new definitions forevery anatomical term. Even a term like "hands." Malone had never seenanything especially arousing in the human hand before--anyway, not whenthe hand was just lying around, so to speak, attached to its wrist butnot doing anything in particular. But these hands, long, slender andtapering, white and cool-looking....

  And yet, it wasn't just the sheer physical beauty of the girl. She hadsomething else, something more and something different. (_Somethingborrowed_, Malone thought in a semi-delirious haze, _and somethingblue_.) Personality? Character? Soul?

  Whatever it was, Malone decided, this girl had it. She had enough of itto supply the entire human race, and any others that might exist in theUniverse. Malone smiled at the girl and she smiled back.

  After seeing the smile, Malone wasn't sure he could still walk evenly.Somehow, though, he managed to go over to her and extend his hand. Thenotion that a telepath would turn out to be this mind-searing Epitomehad never crossed his mind, but now, somehow, it seemed perfectlyfitting and proper.

  "Good morning, Miss Thompson," he said in what he hoped was a winningvoice.

  The smile disappeared. It was like the sun going out.

  The vision appeared to be troubled. Malone was about to volunteer hishelp--if necessary, for the next seventy years--when she spoke.

  "I'm not Miss Thompson," she said.

  "This is one of our nurses," Dr. Harman put in. "Miss Wilson, Mr.Malone. And Mr. Boyd. Miss Thompson, gentlemen, is over there."

  Malone turned.

  * * * * *

  There, in a corner of the room, an old lady sat. She was a small oldlady, with apple-red cheeks and twinkling eyes. She held some knittingin her hands, and she smiled up at the FBI men as if they were hergrandsons come for tea and cookies, of a Sunday afternoon.

  She had snow-white hair that shone like a crown around her old head inthe lights of the room. Malone blinked at her. She didn't disappear.

  "_You're_ Miss Thompson?" he said.

  She smiled sweetly. "Oh, my, no," she said.

  There was a long silence. Malone looked at her. Then he looked at theunbelievably beautiful Miss Wilson. Then he looked at Dr. Harman. And,at last, he looked at Boyd.

  "All right," he said. "I get it. _You're_ Miss Thompson."

  "Now, wait a minute, Malone," Boyd began.

  "Wait a minute?" Malone said. "There are four people here, not countingme. I know I'm not Miss Thompson. I never was, not even as a child. AndDr. Harman isn't, and Miss Wilson isn't, and Whistler'sGreat-Grandmother isn't, either. So you must be. Unless she isn't here.Or unless she's invisible. Or unless I'm crazy."

  "It isn't _you_, Malone," Boyd said.

  "What isn't me?"

  "That's crazy," Boyd said.

  "O.K.," Malone said. "I'm not crazy. Then will somebody please tellme--"

  The little old lady cleared her throat. A silence fell. When it wascomplete she spoke, and her voice was as sweet and kindly as anythingMalone had ever heard.

  "You may call me Miss Thompson," she said. "For the present, at anyrate. They all do here. It's a pseudonym I have to use."

  "A pseudonym?" Malone said.

  "You see, Mr. Malone," Miss Wilson began.

  Malone stopped her. "Don't talk," he said. "I have to concentrate and ifyou talk I can barely think." He took off his hat suddenly, and begantwisting the brim in his hands. "You understand, don't you?"

  The trace of a smile appeared on her face. "I think I do," she said.

  "Now," Malone said, "you're Miss Thompson, but not really, because youhave to use a pseudonym." He blinked at the little old lady. "Why?"

  "Well," she said, "otherwise people would find out about my littlesecret."

  "Your little secret," Malone said.

  "That's right," the little old lady said. "I'm immortal, you see."

  Malone said: "Oh." Then he kept quiet for a long time. It didn't seem tohim that anyone in the room was breathing.

  He said: "Oh," again, but it didn't sound any better than it had thefirst time. He tried another phrase. "You're immortal," he said.

  "That's right," the little old lady agreed sweetly.

  There was only one other question to ask, and Malone set his teethgrimly and asked it. It came out just a trifle indistinct, but thelittle old lady nodded.

  "My real name?" she said. "Elizabeth. Elizabeth Tudor, of course. I usedto be Queen."

  "Of England," Malone said faintly.

  "Malone, look--" Boyd began.

  "Let me get it all at once," Malone told him. "I'm strong. I can takeit." He twisted his hat again and turned back to the little old lady.

  "You're immortal, and you're not really Miss Thompson, but QueenElizabeth I?" he said slowly.

  "That's right," she said. "How clever of you. Of course, after littleJimmy--cousin Mary's boy, I mean--said I was dead and claimed theThrone, I decided to change my name and all. And that's what I did. ButI am Elizabeth Regina." She smiled, and her eyes twinkled merrily.Malone stared at her for a long minute.

  _Burris_, he thought, _is going to love this_.

  "Oh, I'm so glad," the little old lady said. "Do you really think hewill? Because I'm sure I'll like your Mr. Burris, too. All of you FBImen are so charming. Just like poor, poor Essex."

>   Well, Malone told himself, that was that. He'd found himself a telepath.

  And she wasn't an imbecile.

  Oh, no. That would have been simple.

  Instead, she was battier than a cathedral spire.

  * * * * *

  The long silence was broken by the voice of Miss Wilson.

  "Mr. Malone," she said, "you've been thinking." She stopped. "I mean,you've been so quiet."

  "I like being quiet," Malone said patiently. "Besides--" He stopped andturned to the little old lady. _Can you really read my mind?_ he thoughtdeliberately. After a second he added: _... your majesty?_

  "How sweet of you, Mr. Malone," she said. "Nobody's called me that forcenturies. But of course I can. Although it's not reading, really. Afterall, that would be like asking if I can read your voice. Of course Ican, Mr. Malone."

  "That does it," Malone said. "I'm not a hard man to convince. And when Isee the truth, I'm the first one to admit it, even if it makes me looklike a nut." He turned back to the little old lady. "Begging yourpardon," he said.

  "Oh, my," the little old lady said. "I really don't mind at all. Sticksand stones, you know, can break my bones. But being called nuts, Mr.Malone, can never hurt me. After all, it's been so many years--so manyhundreds of years--"

  "Sure," Malone said easily.

  Boyd broke in. "Listen, Malone," he said, "do you mind telling me whatis going on?"

  "It's very simple," Malone said. "Miss Thompson here ... pardon me; Imean Queen Elizabeth I ... really is a telepath. That's all. I think Iwant to lie down somewhere until it goes away."

  "Until what goes away?" Miss Wilson said.

  Malone stared at her almost without seeing her, if not quite."Everything," he said. He closed his eyes.

  "My goodness," the little old lady said after a second. "Everything's soconfused. Poor Mr. Malone is terribly shaken up by everything." Shestood up, still holding her knitting, and went across the room. Beforethe astonished eyes of the doctor and nurse, and Tom Boyd, she pattedthe FBI agent on the shoulder. "There, there, Mr. Malone," she said. "Itwill all be perfectly all right. You'll see." Then she returned to herseat.

  Malone opened his eyes. He turned to Dr. Harman. "You called up Boydhere," he said, "and told him that ... er ... Miss Thompson was atelepath. Howd' you know?"

  "It's all right," the little old lady put in from her chair. "I don'tmind your calling me Miss Thompson, not right now, anyhow."

  "Thanks," Malone said faintly.

  Dr. Harman was blinking in a kind of befuddled astonishment. "You meanshe really _is_ a--" He stopped and brought his tenor voice to asqueaking halt, regained his professional poise, and began again. "I'drather not discuss the patient in her presence, Mr. Malone," he said."If you'll just come into my office--"

  "Oh, _bosh_, Dr. Harman," the little old lady said primly. "I do wishyou'd give your own Queen credit for some ability. Goodness knows youthink _you're_ smart enough."

  "Now, now, Miss Thompson," he said in what was obviously his best GradeA Choice Government Inspected couchside manner. "Don't...."

  "... Upset yourself," she finished for him. "Now, really, doctor. I knowwhat you're going to tell them."

  "But Miss Thompson, I--"

  "You didn't honestly think I _was_ a telepath," the little old ladysaid. "Heavens, we know that. And you're going to tell them how I usedto say I could read minds ... oh, years and years ago. And because ofthat you thought it might be worth while to tell the FBI about me--whichwasn't very kind of you, doctor, before you knew anything about why theywanted somebody like me."

  * * * * *

  "Now, now, Miss Thompson," Miss Wilson said, walking across the room toput an arm around the little old lady's shoulder. Malone wished for onebrief second that he were the old little old lady. Maybe if he were apatient in the hospital he would get the same treatment.

  He wondered if he could possibly work such a deal.

  Then he wondered if it would be worth while, being nuts. But of courseit would. He was nuts anyhow, wasn't he?

  Sure, he told himself. They were all nuts.

  "Nobody's going to hurt you," Miss Wilson said. She was talking to theold lady. "You'll be perfectly all right and you don't have to worryabout a thing."

  "Oh, yes, dear, I know that," the little old lady said. "You only wantto help me, dear. You're so kind. And these FBI men really don't meanany harm. But Dr. Harman didn't know that. He just thinks I'm crazy andthat's all."

  "Please, Miss Thompson--" Dr. Harman began.

  "Just crazy, that's all," the little old lady said. She turned away fora second and nobody said anything. Then she turned back. "Do you allknow what he's thinking now?" she said. Dr. Harman turned a dull purple,but she ignored him. "He's wondering why I didn't take the trouble toprove all this to you years ago. And besides that, he's thinkingabout--"

  "Miss Thompson," Dr. Harman said. His bedside manner had cracked throughand his voice was harsh and strained. "Please."

  "Oh, all right," she said, a little petulantly. "If you want to keep allthat private."

  Malone broke in suddenly, fascinated. "Why didn't you prove you weretelepathic before now?" he said.

  The little old lady smiled at him. "Why, because you wouldn't havebelieved me," she said. She dropped her knitting neatly in her lap andfolded her hands over it. "None of you _wanted_ to believe me," shesaid, and sniffed. Miss Wilson moved nervously and she looked up. "Anddon't tell me it's going to be all right. I know it's going to be allright. I'm going to make sure of that."

  Malone felt a sudden chill. But it was obvious, he told himself, thatthe little old lady didn't mean what she was saying. She smiled at himagain, and her smile was as sweet and guileless as the smile on the faceof his very own sainted grandmother.

  Not that Malone remembered his grandmother; she had died before he'dbeen born. But if he'd had a grandmother, and if he'd remembered her, hewas sure she would have had the same sweet smile.

  So she couldn't have meant what she'd said. Would Malone's owngrandmother make things difficult for him? The very idea was ridiculous.

  Dr. Harman opened his mouth, apparently changed his mind, and shut itagain. The little old lady turned to him.

  "Were you going to ask why I bothered to prove anything to Mr. Malone?"she said. "Of course you were, and I shall tell you. It's because Mr.Malone _wanted_ to believe me. He _wants_ me. He _needs_ me. I'm atelepath, and that's enough for Mr. Malone. Isn't it?"

  "Gur," Malone said, taken by surprise. After a second he added: "I guessso."

  "You see, doctor?" the little old lady said.

  "But you--" Dr. Harman began.

  "I read minds," the little old lady said. "That's right, doctor. That'swhat makes me a telepath."

  Malone's brain was whirling rapidly, like a distant galaxy. "Telepath"was a nice word, he thought. How did you telepath from a road?

  Simple.

  A road is paved.

  Malone thought that was pretty funny, but he didn't laugh. He thought hewould never laugh again. He wanted to cry, a little, but he didn't thinkhe'd be able to manage that either.

  He twisted his hat, but it didn't make him feel any better. Gradually,he became aware that the little old lady was talking to Dr. Harmanagain.

  "But," she said, "since it will make you feel so much better, doctor, wegive you our Royal permission to retire, and to speak to Mr. Malonealone."

  "Malone alone," Dr. Harman muttered. "Hm-m-m. My. Well." He turned andseemed to be surprised that Malone was actually standing near him."Yes," he said. "Well. Mr. Alone ... Malone ... please, whoever you are,just come into my office, please?"

  Malone looked at the little old lady. One of her eyes closed and opened.It was an unmistakable wink.

  Malone grinned at her in what he hoped was a cheerful manner. "Allright," he said to the psychiatrist, "let's go." He turned with thebarest trace of regret, and Boyd followed him. Leaving the little oldlady and,
unfortunately, the startling Miss Wilson, behind, theprocession filed back into Dr. Harman's office.

  * * * * *

  The doctor closed the door, and leaned against it for a second. Helooked as though someone had suddenly revealed to him that the world wassquare. But when he spoke his voice was almost even.

  "Sit down, gentlemen," he said, and indicated chairs. "I really ...well, I don't know what to say. All this time, all these years, she'sbeen reading my mind! My mind. She's been reading ... looking right intomy mind, or whatever it is."

  "Whatever what is?" Malone asked, sincerely interested. He had droppedgratefully into a chair near Boyd's, across the desk from Dr. Harman.

  "Whatever my _mind_ is," Dr. Harman said. "Reading it. Oh, my."

  "Dr. Harman," Malone began, but the psychiatrist gave him a bright blankstare.

  "Don't you understand?" he said. "She's a telepath."

  "We--"

  The phone on Dr. Harman's desk chimed gently. He glanced at it and said:"Excuse me. The phone." He picked up the receiver and said: "Hello?"

  There was no image on the screen.

  But the voice was image enough. "This is Andrew J. Burris," it said. "IsKenneth J. Malone there?"

  "Mr. Malone?" the psychiatrist said. "I mean, Mr. Burris? Mr. Malone ishere. Yes. Oh, my. Do you want to talk to him?"

  "No, you idiot," the voice said. "I just want to know if he's all tuckedin."

  "Tucked in?" Dr. Harman gave the phone a sudden smile. "A joke," hesaid. "It _is_ a joke, isn't it? The way things have been happening, younever know whether--"

  "A joke," Burris' voice said. "That's right. Yes. Am I talking to one ofthe patients?"

  Dr. Harman gulped, got mad, and thought better of it. At last he said,very gently: "I'm not at all sure," and handed the phone to Malone.

  The FBI agent said: "Hello, chief. Things are a little confused."

  Burris' face appeared on the screen. "Confused, sure," he said. "I feelconfused already." He took a breath. "I called the San Francisco office,and they told me you and Boyd were out there. What's going on?"

  Malone said cautiously: "We've found a telepath."

  Burris' eyes widened slightly. "Another one?"

  "What are you talking about, another one?" Malone said. "We have one.Does anybody else have any more?"

  "Well," Burris said, "we just got a report on another one--maybe.Besides yours, I mean."

  "I hope the one you've got is in better shape than the one I've got,"Malone said. He took a deep breath, and then spat it all out at once:"The one we've found is a little old lady. She thinks she's QueenElizabeth I. She's a telepath, sure, but she's nuts."

  "Queen Elizabeth?" Burris said. "Of England?"

  "That's right," Malone said. He held his breath.

  "Damn it," Burris exploded, "they've already got one."

  Malone sighed. "This is another one," he said. "Or, rather, the originalone. She also claims she's immortal."

  "Lives forever?" Burris said. "You mean like that?"

  "Immortal," Malone said. "Right."

  Burris nodded. Then he looked worried. "Tell me, Malone," he said. "She_isn't_, is she?"

  "Isn't immortal, you mean?" Malone said. Burris nodded. Malone saidconfidently: "Of course not."

  There was a little pause. Malone thought things over.

  Hell, maybe she was immortal. Stranger things had happened, hadn't they?

  He looked over at Dr. Harman. "How about that?" he said. "Could she beimmortal?"

  The psychiatrist shook his head decisively. "She's been here for overforty years, Mr. Malone, ever since her late teens. Her records show allthat, and her birth certificate is in perfect order. Not a chance."

  Malone sighed and turned back to the phone. "Of course she isn'timmortal, chief," he said. "She couldn't be. Nobody is. Just a nut."

  "I was afraid of that," Burris said.

  "Afraid?" Malone said.

  Burris nodded. "We've got another one--if he checks out," he said."Right here in Washington--St. Elizabeths."

  "Another nut?"

  "Strait-jacket case," Burris said. "Delusions of persecution. Paranoia.And a lot of other things I can't pronounce. But I'm sending him on outto Yucca Flats anyhow, under guard. You might find a use for him."

  "Oh, sure," Malone said.

  "We can't afford to overlook a thing," Burris said.

  Malone sighed. "I know," he said. "But all the same--"

  "Don't worry about a thing, Malone," Burris said with a palpably falseair of confidence. "You get this Queen Elizabeth of yours out of thereand take her to Yucca Flats, too."

  Malone considered the possibilities. Maybe they would find moretelepaths. Maybe all the telepaths would be nuts. It didn't seemunlikely. Imagine having a talent that nobody would believe you had. Itmight very easily drive you crazy to be faced with a situation likethat.

  And there they would be in Yucca Flats. Kenneth J. Malone, and aconvention of looney-bin inhabitants.

  Fun!

  Malone began to wonder why he had gone into FBI work in the first place.

  "Listen, chief," he said. "I--"

  "Sure, I understand," Burris said quickly. "She's batty. But what elsecan we do? Malone, don't do anything you'll regret."

  "What?"

  "I mean, don't resign."

  "Chief, how did you know--you're not telepathic too, are you?"

  "Of course not," Burris said. "But that's what I would do in your place.And don't do it."

  "Look, chief," Malone said. "These nuts--"

  "Malone, you've done a wonderful job so far," Burris said. "You'll get araise and a better job when all this is over. Who else would havethought of looking in the twitch-bins for telepaths? But you did,Malone, and I'm proud of you, and you're stuck with it. We've got to usethem now. We have to find that spy!" He took a breath. "On to YuccaFlats!" he said.

  Malone gave up. "Yes, sir," he said. "Anything else?"

  "Not right now," Burris said. "If there is, I'll let you know."

  * * * * *

  Malone hung up unhappily as the image vanished. He looked at Dr. Harman."Well," he said, "that's that. What do I have to do to get a release forMiss Thompson?"

  Harman stared at him. "But, Mr. Malone," he said, "that just isn'tpossible. Really. Miss Thompson is a ward of the state, and we couldn'tpossibly allow her release without a court order."

  Malone thought that over. "O.K.," he said at last. "I can see that." Heturned to Boyd. "Here's a job for you, Tom," he said. "Get one of thejudges on the phone. You'll know which one will do us the most good,fastest."

  "Hm-m-m," Boyd said. "Say Judge Dunning," he said. "Good man. Fastworker."

  "I don't care who," Malone said. "Just get going, and get us a releasefor Miss Thompson." He turned back to the doctor. "By the way," he said,"has she got any other name? Besides Elizabeth Tudor, I mean," he addedhurriedly.

  "Her full name," Dr. Harman said, "is Rose Walker Thompson. She is notQueen Elizabeth I, II, or XXVIII, and she is not immortal."

  "But she is," Malone pointed out, "a telepath. And that's why I wanther."

  "She may," Dr. Harman said, "be a telepath." It was obvious that he hadpartly managed to forget the disturbing incidents that had happened afew minutes before. "I don't even want to discuss that part of it."

  "O.K., never mind it," Malone said agreeably. "Tom, get us a court orderfor Rose Walker Thompson. Effective yesterday--day before, if possible."

  Boyd nodded, but before he could get to the phone Dr. Harman spokeagain.

  "Now, wait a moment, gentlemen," he said. "Court order or no courtorder, Miss Thompson is definitely not a well woman, and I can't see myway clear to--"

  "I'm not well myself," Malone said. "I need sleep and I probably have acold. But I've got to work for the national security, and--"

  "This is important," Boyd put in.

  "I don't dispute that," Dr. Harman said. "Nevertheless, I--"


  The door that led into the other room suddenly burst open. The three menturned to stare at Miss Wilson, who stood in the doorway for a longsecond and then stepped into the office, closing the door quietly behindher.

  "I'm sorry to interrupt," she said.

  "Not at all," Malone said. "It's a pleasure to have you. Come againsoon." He smiled at her.

  She didn't smile back. "Doctor," she said, "you better talk to MissThompson. I'm not at all sure what I can do. It's something new."

  "New?" he said. The worry lines on his face were increasing, but hespoke softly.

  "The poor dear thinks she's going to get out of the hospital now," MissWilson said. "For some reason, she's convinced that the FBI is going toget her released, and--"

  As she saw the expressions on three faces, she stopped.

  "What's wrong?" she said.

  "Miss Wilson," Malone said, "we ... may I call you by your first name?"

  "Of course, Mr. Malone," she said.

  There was a little silence.

  "Miss Wilson," Malone said, "what _is_ your first name?"

  She smiled now, very gently. Malone wanted to walk through mountains, orclimb fire. He felt confused, but wonderful. "Barbara," she said.

  "Lovely," he said. "Well, Barbara ... and please call me Ken. It's shortfor Kenneth."

  The smile on her face broadened. "I thought it might be," she said.

  "Well," Malone said softly, "it is. Kenneth. That's my name. And you'reBarbara."

  Boyd cleared his throat.

  "Ah," Malone said. "Yes. Of course. Well, Barbara ... well, that's justwhat we intend to do. Take Miss Thompson away. We need her--badly."

  Dr. Harman had said nothing at all, and had barely moved. He was staringat a point on his desk. "She couldn't possibly have heard us," hemuttered. "That's a soundproof door. She couldn't have heard us."

  "But you can't take Miss Thompson away," Miss Wilson said.

  "We have to, Barbara," Malone said gently. "Try to understand. It's forthe national security."

  "She heard us thinking," Dr. Harman muttered. "That's what; she heard usthinking. Behind a soundproof door. She can see inside their minds. Shecan even see inside _my_ mind."

  "She's a sick woman," Barbara said.

  "But you have to understand--"

  "Vital necessity," Boyd put in. "Absolutely vital."

  "Nevertheless--" Barbara said.

  "She can read minds," Dr. Harman whispered in an awed tone. "She knows.Everything. She _knows_."

  "It's out of the question," Barbara said. "Whether you like it or not.Miss Thompson is not going to leave this hospital. Why, what could shedo outside these walls? She hasn't left in over forty years! Andfurthermore, Mr. Malone--"

  "Kenneth," Malone put in, as the door opened again. "I mean Ken."

  * * * * *

  The little old lady put her haloed head into the room. "Now, now,Barbara," she said. "Don't you go spoiling things. Just let these nicemen take me away and everything will be fine, believe me. Besides, I'vebeen outside more often than you imagine."

  "Outside?" Barbara said.

  "Of course," the little old lady said. "In other people's minds. Evenyours. I remember that nice young man ... what was his name?"

  "Never mind his name," Barbara said, flushing furiously.

  Malone felt instantly jealous of every nice young man he had ever evenheard of. _He_ wasn't a nice young man; he was an FBI agent, and heliked to drink and smoke cigars and carouse.

  All nice young men, he decided, should be turned into ugly old men assoon as possible. That'd fix them!

  He noticed the little old lady smiling at him, and tried to change histhoughts rapidly. But the little old lady said nothing at all.

  "At any rate," Barbara said, "I'm afraid that we just can't--"

  Dr. Harman cleared his throat imperiously. It was a most impressivenoise, and everyone turned to look at him. His face was a little gray,but he looked, otherwise, like a rather pudgy, blond, crew-cut Romanemperor.

  "Just a moment," he said with dignity, "I think you're doing the UnitedStates of America a grave injustice, Miss Wilson--and that you're doingan injustice to Miss Thompson, too."

  "What do you mean?" she said.

  "I think it would be nice for her to get away from me--I mean fromhere," the psychiatrist said. "Where did you say you were taking her?"he asked Malone.

  "Yucca Flats," Malone said.

  "Ah." The news seemed to please the psychiatrist. "That's a longdistance from here, isn't it? It's quite a few hundred miles away.Perhaps even a few thousand miles away. I feel sure that will be thebest thing for me ... I mean, of course, for Miss Thompson. I shallrecommend that the court so order."

  "Doctor--" But even Barbara saw, Malone could tell, that it was no goodarguing with Dr. Harman. She tried a last attack. "Doctor, who's goingto take care of her?"

  A light the size and shape of North America burst in Malone's mind. Healmost chortled. But he managed to keep his voice under control. "Whatshe needs," he said, "is a trained psychiatric nurse."

  Barbara Wilson gave him a look that had carloads of U{235} stacked awayin it, but Malone barely minded. She'd get over it, he told himself.

  "Now, wasn't that sweet of you to think of that," the little old ladysaid. Malone looked at her and was rewarded with another wink.

  "I'm certainly glad you thought of Barbara," the little old lady wenton. "You will go with me won't you, dear? I'll make you a duchess.Wouldn't you like to be a duchess, dear?"

  Barbara looked from Malone to the little old lady, and then she lookedat Dr. Harman. Apparently what she saw failed to make her happy.

  "We'll take good care of her, Barbara," Malone said.

  She didn't even bother to give him an answer. After a second Boyd said:"Well, I guess that settles it. If you'll let me use your phone, Dr.Harman, I'll call Judge Dunning."

  "Go right ahead," Dr. Harman said. "Go right ahead."

  The little old lady smiled softly without looking at anybody at all."Won't it be wonderful?" she whispered. "At last I've been recognized.My country is about to pay me for my services. My loyal subjects--" Shestopped and wiped what Malone thought was a tear from onecornflower-blue eye.

  "Now, now, Miss Thompson," Barbara said.

  "I'm not sad," the little old lady said, smiling up at her. "I'm just sovery happy. I am about to get my reward, my well-deserved reward atlast, from all of my loyal subjects. You'll see." She paused and Malonefelt a faint stirring of stark, chill fear.

  "Won't it be wonderful?" said the little old lady.