Tainted Love

by RC Christiansen

  No hate required.

  Introduction to Pax

  (a.k.a Whiskey)

  Dr. Dell’s office has a rustic, calming feel to it, almost as comforting as the doctor’s voice when he gives Vix and me homework. It’s a safe place where we can just be ourselves. He doesn’t judge us for the way we are or who we used to be.

  Not that we’ve ever mentioned our hate-fuck sessions.

  The doctor is a short weighty man, mid-fifties if I had to guess, with eyeglasses almost as thick as the glass awards that line his bookshelves. Vixen and I came to him in agreement that we needed to become our best selves in order to be good parents to Liv.

  We adopted her last year from the local orphanage when she had just turned one, after we’d spent the year prior in therapy preparing.

  I never doubted us once, I didn’t need to, not even for a second the day we met our little girl. I knew the moment I saw her, same as I did Vixen, that she would become the other half of our world, the same way Vix is the other half of mine.

  Liv or ‘Monkey’ as we call her, just turned two. She has these great big wild blue eyes that are always curious and a sassy attitude almost as bold as her mommies.

  We have a quiet little place on the beach, only forty minutes from the Hill, but somehow, it’s far enough from Helen to make Vix feel content, yet close enough to bring Liv back and forth every few months to work on a relationship with ‘Bama’, Liv’s current pronunciation of grandma.

  Doctor Dell asked me once, two years ago when we’d decided to adopt Liv, to work on a personal project that would help me discover myself.

  Not who I am now, but who I was before I met Kirsten. His way of helping me sort out the memories of my past I’m still trying to let go of, or at least forgive myself for.

  He asked me to answer a series of ten questions with as much detail as possible, and to write the answers down no matter how long they were and even if they make no sense. He even typed and printed them out for me on a piece of his fancy doctor paper, letter head Vix calls it, but she’s had to help me with some of the words. I’m not the strongest at reading even though I’ve tried to teach myself.

  I’ve been working on the answers daily in the self-love journal he gave us while Vix helps me with my spelling, and if I’m honest, it fucking blows. I’m still on the first question, been trying to finish it but I’m not sure there is an end to any of my answers.

  It’s frustrating sometimes, and I’d rather be hanging out with Vixen and Liv, not dredging up the pain, but at the same time I understand that this is a part of the healing process.

  The ten questions he wants me to answer are as follows:

  How would you describe yourself as a person before you met Kirsten?

  What is your earliest memory before the abduction?

  Would you want to know what your real full name is if you were given the chance?

  Can you describe what your idea of family was with respect to Ken, Cliff, and Verna?

  At what age did you start to entertain the idea of escaping your captors?

  At what age did you follow through with the idea and did you have a plan? If yes, please list the details.

  Did Ken, Cliff, and Verna attempt to locate their families once they were free? If yes, how did that make you feel?

  What brought you into Kirsten’s life the night you met?

  Describe the day you and Kirsten decided to move to the beach and what you hoped to gain from it.

  If you looked back upon your life at all of the good, bad, and indifferent moments, what would you change?

  I’ve read them over at least a thousand times, but Dr. Dell specifically instructed me to answer each one in order.

  So that’s what I’m doing, working out the riddles of my life one by one, so that I can tell my story. At least that’s what Vix says I’m doing.

  Olivia and Vixen, this books for you, and for every other fucked up soul who doesn’t have a voice and suffered at the hands of life’s monsters.

  Tainted Love 2: Whiskey’s Story

  COMING SOON…

  A note from the author:

  Thank you for taking the time to read my book, I hope you enjoyed it.

  As a new author it helps a great deal to receive honest feedback including constructive criticism. Please take the time to post your rating, thoughts, and likes/dislikes on Amazon.

  It is incredibly helpful to know what flows through the minds of my readers.

  And if you enjoyed this story, you’ll love what I’m working on next, Tainted Love 2: Whiskey’s Story.

  Stay current with updates on my progress by following me on Instagram and on my Amazon authors page.

  IG: @RCCHRISTIANSENAUTHOR

  Https://amazon.com/author/rcchristiansen

  Thanks again. My husband and I both wish you well.

  Sincerely, R&C Christiansen

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank my beta readers first and foremost for their time and support. Writing Tainted Love was emotionally difficult and challenging at times, but you never let me down and accepted the strong subject matter with compassion and dignity.

  Thank you:

  Maxine Keith

  Shakkia Courtney

  Bre Simpson

  Janet Olson

  And to my husband who is the C to my R, I love you and could not have done this without you. Xoxo