Tish: The Chronicle of Her Escapades and Excursions

by Mary Roberts Rinehart

  II

  The problem of Tufik's future was a pressing one. Tish called a meetingof the three of us next morning, and we met at her house. We found herreading about Syria in the encyclopaedia, while spread round her onchairs and tables were numbers of silk kimonos, rolls of crocheted lace,shirt-waist patterns, and embroidered linens.

  Hannah let us in. She looked surly and had a bandage round her head, asure sign of trouble--Hannah always referring a pain in her temper toher ear or her head or her teeth. She clutched my arm in the hall andheld me back.

  "I'm going to poison him!" she said. "Miss Lizzie, that little snakegoes or I go!"

  "I'm ashamed of you, Hannah!" I replied sternly. "If out of the breadthof her charity Miss Tish wishes to assist a fellow man--"

  Hannah reeled back and freed my arm.

  "My God!" she whispered. "You too!"

  I am very fond of Hannah, who has lived with Tish for many years; but Ihad small patience with her that morning.

  "I cannot see how it concerns you, anyhow, Hannah," I observed severely.

  Hannah put her apron to her eyes and sniffled into it.

  "Oh, you can't, can't you!" she wailed. "Don't I give him half hismeals, with him soft-soapin' Miss Tish till she can't see for suds?Ain't I fallin' over him mornin', noon, and night, and the postmantelling all over the block he's my steady company--that snip that's noteighteen yet? And don't I do the washin'? And will you look round theplace and count the things I've got to do up every week? And don't hetalk to me in that lingo of his, so I don't know whether he's askin' fora cup of coffee or insultin' me?"

  I patted Hannah on the arm. After all, none of the exaltation of a gooddeed upheld Hannah as it sustained us.

  "We are going to help him help himself, Hannah," I said kindly. "Hehasn't found himself. Be gentle with him. Remember he comes from theland of the Bible."

  "Humph!" said Hannah, who reads the newspapers. "So does the plague!"

  The problem we had set ourselves we worked out that morning. As Tishsaid, the boy ought to have light work, for the Syrians are not alaboring people.

  "Their occupation is--er--mainly pastoral," she said, with the authorityof the encyclopaedia. "Grazing their herds and gathering figs and olives.If we knew some one who needed a shepherd--"

  Aggie opposed the shepherd idea, however. As she said, and with reason,the climate is too rigorous. "It's all well enough in Syria," she said,"where they have no cold weather; but he'd take his death of pneumoniahere."

  We put the shepherd idea reluctantly aside. My own notion of finding acamel for him to look after was negatived by Tish at once, and properlyenough I realized.

  "The only camels are in circuses," she said, "and our duty to the boy ismoral as well as physical. Circuses are dens of immorality. Of coursethe Syrians are merchants, and we might get him work in a store. Butthen again--what chance has he of rising? Once a clerk, always a clerk."She looked round at the chairs and tables, littered with the contents ofTufik's pasteboard suitcase, which lay empty at her feet. "And there isnothing to canvassing from door to door. Look at these exquisitethings!--and he cannot sell them. Nobody buys. He says he never getsinside a house door. If you had seen his face when I bought a kimonofrom him!"

  At eleven o'clock, having found nothing in the "Help Wanted" column tofit Tufik's case, Tish called up Charlie Sands and offered Tufik as areporter, provided he was given no nightwork. But Charlie Sands said itwas impossible--that the editors and owners of the paper were alwaysputting on their sons and relatives, and that when there was a vacancythe big advertisers got it. Tish insisted--she suggested that Tufikcould run an Arabian column, like the German one, and bring in a lot ofnew subscribers. But Charlie Sands stood firm.

  At noon Tufik came. We heard a skirmish at the door and Hannah talkingbetween her teeth.

  "She's out," she said.

  "Well, I think she is not out," in Tufik's soft tones.

  "You'll not get in."

  "Ah, but my toes are in. See, my foot wishes to enter!" Then somethingsoft, coaxing, infinitely wistful, in Arabian followed by a slap. Thenext moment Hannah, in tears, rushed back to the kitchen. There was nosound from the hallway. No smiling Tufik presented himself in thedoorway.

  Tish rose in the majesty of wrath. "I could strangle that woman!" shesaid, and we followed her into the hall.

  Tufik was standing inside the door with his arms folded, staring ahead.He took no notice of us.

  "Tufik!" Aggie cried, running to him. "Did she--did she dare--Tish, lookat his cheek!"

  "She is a bad woman!" Tufik said somberly. "I make my little prayer tosee Miss Tish, my mother, and she--I kill her!"

  We had a hard time apologizing to him for Hanna. Tish got a basin ofcold water so he might bathe his face; and Aggie brought a tablespoonfulof blackberry cordial, which is soothing. When the poor boy was calmerwe met in Tish's bedroom and Tish was quite firm on one point--Hannahmust leave!

  Now, this I must say in my own defense--I was sorry for Tufik; and it isquite true I bought him a suit and winter flannels and a pair of yellowshoes--he asked for yellow. He said he was homesick for a bit ofsunshine, and our so somber garb made him heart-sad. But I would neverhave dismissed a cook like Hannah for him.

  "I shall have to let her go," Tish said. "He is Oriental and passionate.He has said he will kill her--and he'll do it. They hold life verylightly."

  "Humph!" I said. "Very well, Tish, that holding life lightly isn't aChristian trait. It's Mohammedan--every Mohammedan wants to die and goto his heaven, which is a sort of sublimated harem. The boy's probably aChristian by training, but he's a Mohammedan by blood."

  Aggie thought my remark immoral and said so. And just then Hannah solvedher own problem by stalking into the room with her things on and asuitcase in her hand.

  "I'm leaving, Miss Tish!" she said with her eye-rims red. "God knows Inever expected to be put out of this place by a dirty dago! You'll findyour woolen stockings on the stretchers, and you've got an appointmentwith the dentist tomorrow morning at ten. And when that littleblackguard has sucked you dry, and you want him killed to get rid ofhim, you'll find me at my sister's."

  She picked up her suitcase and Tish flung open the door. "You're ahard-hearted woman, Hannah Mackintyre!" Tish snapped. "Your sister can'tkeep you. You'll have to work."

  Hannah turned in the doorway and sneered at the three of us.

  "Oh, no!" she said. "I'm going to hunt up three soft-headed old maidsand learn to kiss their hands and tell 'em I have nobody but them andGod!"

  She slammed out at that, leaving us in a state of natural irritation.But our rage soon faded. Tufik was not in the parlor; and Tish,tiptoeing back, reported that he was in the kitchen and was mixing upsomething in a bowl.

  "He's a dear boy!" she said. "He feels responsible for Hannah's leavingand he's getting luncheon! Hannah is a wicked and uncharitable woman!"

  "Man's inhumanity to man, Makes countless thousands mourn!"

  quoted Aggie softly. From the kitchen came the rhythmic beating of awooden spoon against the side of a bowl; a melancholy chant--quitearchaic, as Tish said--kept time with the spoon, and later a smell ofbaking flour and the clatter of dishes told us that our meal wasprogressing.

  "'The Syrians,'" read Tish out of her book, "'are a peaceful andpastoral people. They have not changed materially in nineteen centuries,and the traveler in their country finds still the life of Biblicaltimes.' Something's burning!"

  Shortly after, Tufik, beaming with happiness and Hannah clearlyforgotten, summoned us to the dining-room. Tufik was not a cook. Werealized that at once. He had made coffee in the Oriental way--strongenough to float an egg, very sweet and full of grounds; and after a biteof the cakes he had made, Tish remembered the dentist the next day andrefused solid food on account of a bad tooth. The cakes were made oflard and flour, without any baking-powder or flavoring, and the topswere sprinkled thick with granulated sugar. Little circles of greasemelted out of them on to the plate, and Tufik,
wide-eyed with triumph,sweetly wistful over Tish's tooth, humble and joyous in one minute,stood by the cake plate and fed them to us!

  I caught Aggie's agonized eye, but there was nothing else to do. Were wenot his friends? And had he not made this delicacy for us? On her thirdcake, however, Aggie luckily turned blue round the mouth and had to goand lie down. This broke up the meal and probably saved my life, thoughmy stomach has never been the same since. Tish says the cakes areprobably all right in the Orient, where it is hot and the grease doesnot get a chance to solidify. She thinks that Tufik is probably a goodcook in his own country. But Aggie says that a good many things in theBible that she never understood are made plain to her if that is whatthey ate in Biblical times--some of the things they saw in visions, andall that. She dropped asleep on Tish's lounge and distinctly saw Tufikmurdering Hannah by forcing one of his cakes down her throat.

  The next month was one of real effort. We had planned to go to Panama,and had our passage engaged; but when we broke the news to Tufik heturned quite pale.

  "You go--away?" he said wistfully.

  "Only for a month," Tish hastened to apologize. "You see, we--we are allvery tired, and the Panama Canal--"

  "Canal? I know not a canal."

  "It is for ships--"

  "You go there in a ship?"

  "Yes. A canal is a--"

  "You go far--in a ship--and I--I stay here?"

  "Only for a month," Aggie broke in. "We will leave you enough money tolive on; and perhaps when we come back you will have found something todo--"

  "For a month," he said brokenly. "I have no friends, no Miss Tish, noMiss Liz, no Miss Pilk. I die!"

  He got up and walked to the window. It was Aggie who realized the awfultruth. The poor lonely boy was weeping--and Charlie Sands may say whathe likes! He was really crying--when he turned, there were large tearson his cheeks. What made it worse was that he was trying to smile.

  "I wish you much happiness on the canal," he said. "I am wicked; but mysad heart--it ache that my friends leave me. I am sad! If only myseester--"

  * * * * *

  That was the first we had known of Tufik's sister, back in Beirut,wearing a veil over her face and making lace for the bazaars. We were toknow more.

  Well, between getting ready to go to Panama and trying to find somethingTufik could do, we were very busy for the next month. Tufik grewreconciled to our going, but he was never cheerful about it; and findingthat it pained him we never spoke about it in his presence.

  He was with us a great deal. In the morning he would go to Tish, whowould give him a list of her friends to see. Then Tish would telephoneand make appointments for him, and he would start off hopefully,with his pasteboard suitcase. But he never sold anything--except ashirt-waist pattern to Mrs. Ostermaier, the minister's wife. We took dayabout giving him his carfare, but this was pauperizing and we knew it.Besides, he was very sensitive and insisted on putting down everythingwe gave him in a book, to be repaid later when he had made a success.

  The allowance idea was mine and it worked well. We figured that,allowing for his washing,--which was not much, as he seemed to preferthe celluloid collar,--he could live in a sort of way on nine dollars aweek. We subscribed equally to this; and to save his pride we mailed itto him weekly by check.

  His failure to sell his things hurt him to the soul. More than once wecaught tears in his eyes. And he was not well--he could not walk anydistance at all and he coughed. At last Tish got Charlie Sands to takehim to a lung specialist, a stupid person, who said it was a cigarettecough. This was absurd, as Tufik did not smoke.

  At last the time came for the Panama trip. Tish called me up the day shepacked and asked me to come over.

  "I can't. I'm busy, Tish," I said.

  She was quite disagreeable. "This is your burden as well as mine," shesnapped. "Come over and talk to that wretched boy while I pack my trunk.He stands and watches everything I put in, and I haven't been able topack a lot of things I need."

  I went over that afternoon and found Tufik huddled on the top step ofthe stairs outside Tish's apartment, with his head in his hands.

  "She has put me out!" he said, looking up at me with tragic eyes. "Mymother has put me out! She does not love Tufik! No one loves Tufik! I amno good. I am a dirty dago!"

  I was really shocked. I rang the bell and Tish let me in. She had had nomaid since Hannah's departure and was taking her meals out. She sawTufik and stiffened.

  "I thought I sent you away!" she said, glaring at him.

  He looked at her pitifully.

  "Where must I--go?" he asked, and coughed.

  Tish sighed and flung the door wide open. "Bring him in," she said withresignation, "but for Heaven's sake lock him in a closet until I get myunderwear packed. And if he weeps--slap him."

  The poor boy was very repentant, and seeing that his cough worried us hefought it back bravely. I mixed the white of an egg with lemon juice andsugar, and gave it to him. He was pathetically grateful and kissed myhand. At five o'clock we sent him away firmly, having given himthirty-six dollars. He presented each of us with a roll of crochetedlace to take with us and turned in the doorway to wave a wistful finalgood-bye.

  We met at Tish's that night so that we might all go together to thetrain. Charlie Sands had agreed to see us off and to keep an eye onTufik during our absence. Aggie was in a palpitating travel ecstasy,clutching a patent seasick remedy and a map of the Canal Zone; Tish wasseeing that the janitor shut off the gas and water in the apartment; andCharlie Sands was jumping on top of a steamer trunk to close it. Thetaxicab was at the door and we had just time to make the night train.The steamer sailed early the next morning.

  "All ready!" cried Charlie Sands, getting the lid down finally. "All offfor the Big Ditch!"

  We all heard a noise in the hall--a sort of scuffling, with anoccasional groan. Tish rushed over and threw open the door. On the topstep, huddled and shivering, with streams of water running off his hairdown over his celluloid collar, pouring out of his sleeves and cascadingdown the stairs from his trousers legs, was Tufik. The policeman on thebeat was prodding at him with his foot, trying to make him get up. Whenhe saw us the officer touched his hat.

  "Evening, Miss Tish," he said, grinning. "This here boy of yours hasbeen committing suicide. Just fished him out of the lake in the park!"

  "Get up!" snapped Charlie Sands. "You infernal young idiot! Get up andstop sniveling!"

  He stooped and took the poor boy by the collar. His brutality roused usall out of our stupor. Tish and I rushed forward and commanded him tostand back; and Aggie, with more presence of mind than we had given hercredit for, brought a glass containing a tablespoonful of blackberrycordial into which she had poured ten drops of seasickness remedy. Tufikwas white and groaning, but he revived enough to sit up and stare at uswith his sad brown eyes.

  "I wish to die!" he said brokenly. "Why you do not let me die? Myfriends go on the canal! I am alone! My heart is empty!"

  Tish wished to roll him on a barrel, but we had no barrel; so, withCharlie Sands standing by with his watch in his hand, refusing to assistand making unkind remarks, we got him to Tish's room and laid out on hermackintosh on the bed. He did not want to live. We could hardly forcehim to drink the hot coffee Tish made for him. He kept muttering thingsabout his loneliness and being only a dirty dago; and then he turnedbitter and said hard things about this great America, where he couldfind no work and must be a burden on his three mothers, and could notbring his dear sister to be company for him. Aggie quite broke down andhad to lie down on the sofa in the parlor and have a cracker and a cupof tea.

  When Tish and I had succeeded in making Tufik promise to live, and hadgiven him one of his own silk kimonos to put on until his clothing couldbe dried--Charlie Sands having disagreeably refused to lend hisovercoat--and when we had given the officer five dollars not to arrestthe boy for attempting suicide, we met in the parlor to talk thingsover.

  Charlie Sands was sitti
ng by the lamp in his overcoat. He had put ourrailway and steamer tickets on the table, and was holding his cigaretteso that Aggie could inhale the fumes, she having hay fever and hercubebs being on their way to Panama.

  "I suppose you know," he said nastily, "that your train has gone andthat you cannot get the boat tomorrow?"

  Tish was in an exalted mood--and she took off her things and flung themon a chair.

  "What is Panama," she demanded, "to saving a life? Charlie, we must plansomething for this boy. If you will take off your overcoat--"

  "And see you put it on that little parasite? Not if I melt! Do you knowhow deep the lake is? Three feet!"

  "One can drown in three feet of water," said Aggie sadly, "if one isvery tired of life. People drown themselves in bathtubs."

  Tish's furious retort to this was lost, Tufik choosing that moment toappear in the doorway. He wore a purple-and-gold kimono that had givenTish bronchitis early in the winter, and he had twisted a bath towelround the waist. He looked very young, very sad, very Oriental. Heignored Charlie Sands, but made at once for Tish and dropped on one kneebeside her.

  "Miss Tish!" he begged. "Forgive, Miss Tish! Tufik is wicked. He has thebad heart. He has spoil the going on the canal. No?"

  "Get up!" said Tish. "Don't be a silly child. Go and take your shoes outof the oven. We are not going to Panama. When you are better, I am goingto give you a good scolding."

  Charlie Sands put the cigarette on a book under Aggie's nose and stoodup.

  "I guess I'll go," he said. "My nerves are not what they used to be andmy disposition feels the change."

  Tufik had risen and the two looked at each other. I could not quite makeout Tufik's expression; had I not known his gentleness I would havethought his expression a mixture of triumph and disdain.

  "'The Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold, and his cohorts weregleaming in purple and gold!'" said Charlie Sands, and went out,slamming the door.