Best Laid Plans

by Kristi Rose

  “Yes, please.” Unicorn Brew was a shot of espresso and white-hot chocolate mixed with flavored syrup. Only, no one could guess the syrup’s flavor. The drink made me a happy person, and June only offered it occasionally and without warning. It was the elusive drink we all wanted. There had been a time when she had it more frequently, but I think that was a ruse to get us addicted and to keep us coming back in hopes we’d get it again.

  “Do you mind if I tack this flyer to your bulletin board?” I pointed toward the restrooms where a community board hung.

  “Go ahead,” she said and turned to the teen helping behind the counter.

  That’s the other thing about June. In collaboration with the school district, she sponsored teens and helped them build their work skills. Just helping my folks out with Cora was exhausting. I couldn’t imagine running a business and working with teens who, biologically, were nitwits because of hormones.

  I pinned my flyer and returned to the mommies, giving them my attention. All five of them.

  “Everyone ready for pictures? Just act normal.” Or their version of normal, I wanted to add. I plunked my camera bag on an empty table and took out my camera, setting my lens cover on the table.

  “We are,” Mindy, the PTC president, said. She wore a mustard yellow puffy vest and matching headband. She pointed to each person and said their name. Carlie, Dana, Annber, and Heidi. Each of them had been with the school since its inception two years ago.

  I would never remember their names outside of today. That was how my brain worked. Their mommy uniforms didn’t help. Only one of them, Annber I thought, was dressed in exercise clothes, of the Lululemon variety. Cropped shimmery silver yoga pants, matching sports bra with a thin dark pink hoody zipped only midway. Her makeup was flawless, her high ponytail tight and slick.

  I pointed my camera in her direction. “You’re okay with me getting you in your workout clothes? Some people aren’t.” Studio photography taught me people were particular.

  She gave me a dismissive wave. “Of course I am.”

  “At least I caught you before you worked out.” I shifted my attention to the camera screen.

  Annber chuckled. “Um, no. This is me after a workout, but I believe in keeping it real.”

  I glanced up. “What do you do? Transcendental Meditation?” The only time I ever looked as picture-perfect as her was when I went to the hairdresser.

  She smiled and wrinkled her nose. “No, I don’t even know what that is. I do core yoga for muscle building.”

  I’d done that class. It was hard. And sweat-inducing.

  Clearly, she showered afterward. No way she’d just come from muscle-building yoga. Why Annber pretended otherwise was anyone’s guess. I let it go. Because who really cared?

  “I’ll be here in the background getting shots. Try not to look at the camera.”

  They blinked at me doe-eyed.

  I glanced around the coffee shop. “Maybe switch tables so I can get June’s cute menu boards in the background.” I pointed to a section of tables along the wall away from where they were sitting by the window.

  “We like these tables,” Mindy said.

  I looked through the camera viewfinder. “Okay, but the light from the window makes you look like you have a beard,” I said. “Shadows do cruel things.”

  They moved.

  I snapped a few pictures with June’s artisanal chalkboards in the background. I loved how she changed the menu and also listed events that How Ya Bean hosted. Briefly, I wondered if Ask the PI Anything might be a good presentation and would help with business, but I didn’t know a lot about being a PI so…

  Principal Josh came rushing in. “Sorry I’m late, ladies. Education is never a nine-to-five job or confined to the school campus.” He went from woman to woman and touched them somehow. A hug, a shoulder squeeze, a clasping of the hands.

  He faced me and looked overly please. “Samantha, excellent. I hope you’re getting good pictures.”

  “I am.”

  He looked at June over my shoulder. “Any chance we have Unicorn Brew today?” He gave her a wink.

  “Yes, we do,” she said with a smile.

  Something seemed to pass between them. I think the mommies noticed it, too, because one bristled.

  “Are we going to do this today or what?” Mindy asked. “I have groceries being delivered.” Her ponytail was an arrangement of expertly made curls.

  “Hey, there’s enough of Principal Josh to go around,” he said with a chuckle.

  Behind the counter, a plate fell. I glanced at June who had a disgusted expression on her face.

  “You okay, June?” I asked.

  “What a mess,” she said. Then gestured to the floor.

  “June? My coffee?” Principal Josh asked.

  “It’s coming. Give me a second,” she bit out before disappearing behind the counter to, I assume, clean up whatever spilled.

  “Ladies, get out your calendars,” Principal Josh said.

  In unison, all five-women whipped out planners of various sorts. Some electronic, some paper and decorated with Washi tape and stickers.

  “We have much to talk about. Don’t forget, Samantha is our in-house photographer. You can call her anytime if you need or want pictures. Her goals are to capture the greatness of Village Garden School and the work you women do.”

  “Um, I am? My goal is what again?” Because I was pretty sure my goals were about making money and this gig paid nothing.

  Josh turned to me. “Samantha,” he said, hands extended, “give me your hands.”

  I set my camera down to do as he asked. He closed his hands over mine, like one of those double-fisted handshakes that was supposed to make a person feel like the handshaker was really, truly interested in them.

  “Samantha.” He held tight to my hands but said over his shoulder, “Help me out here, ladies.” His attention back to me, he continued, “I’m a firm believer that education is…”

  “A three-hundred-and-sixty-degree process,” the ladies said in unison. Even June. They all did this hand thing where they made a circle in the air. I’m guessing Principal Josh would have done the same had he not been holding my hands.

  “Yes, there-hundred-and-sixty degrees. You know what that means?” He smiled and leaned in closer to me.

  “That you end up where you started?” I felt like I stepped into some bizarro-world TV show where everyone was a Stepford something or other.

  “It means, Samantha, all of us have to raise these children. All of us have to do our part. Because if we don’t, who suffers?”

  “The children do,” the robot ladies said.

  The creep factor rose significantly.

  Principal Josh put one hand on his heart and the other hand over my heart. Warmth radiated from his splayed fingers as he touched me in places I wasn’t comfortable with. The urge to brain him with my camera was strong. Like a force compelling me to do it. Someone in the group gasped. My distaste was likely expressed on my face.

  “Feel that, Samantha? That’s the heartbeat of our children. That’s how we make and raise successful adults. Through our love and desires.” His hand lingered, my skin prickled from his touch and the uncomfortable nature. He winked. “Sharing is caring, Samantha.”

  “I’m not making the connection.” I pulled away.

  June called Josh’s name, and he went to collect his coffee. I wiped my hands down my pants. He came back and faced me with a wink and a smile. Then a buzzing sound came from his pant pocket.

  Principal Josh pulled out his phone and did some finger pressing and swiping. “I have a spot on my calendar with your name on it. Thursday at four. I’ll go into more details then.” He flashed me a dazzling smile.

  “Um,” I said, confused. Were we talking about kids or was he flirting with me?

  Principal Josh stared at his screen then frowned. “Oh dear,” he said and faced the mommies. “I have to cut this meeting short. Looks like the superintendent is bringing
the school board by for a surprise visit. You all forgive me, right?”

  They murmured various things, each looking at each other with questions on their faces. Carlie stood and crossed her arms. I knew that was her name because she was wearing a coral puffy vest and I’d matched the sounds. Coral. Carlie. Her Hunter boots were a glossy silver that highlighted the glitter in her tights.

  She said, “Principal Josh, are you sure you’re free Thursday?” Her gaze flicked to me. “I thought you had an appointment?”

  “I’ll be shifting things around. Everything will be fine, Carlie. Samantha has potential, and I’d like to help her discover it.” He gave me a wink over his shoulder.

  Did he think winking was his superpower? He must because he did it all the time. Perhaps he thought the act was endearing enough to override his creep factor? Never had I ever wanted to poke someone in the eye as much as I did this guy and his winking eye.

  Frankly, I was okay leaving any potential of mine undiscovered, especially by him. After all, he’d done enough discovering of my potential when his hand had been all over my chest. Flustered, I shoved my camera in its bag, ready to vault from this place.

  Carlie put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “Well, what about the issue with her niece? Annber was telling us about it earlier.”

  I paused my packing. “Wait? What issue?”

  Principal Josh gave me a dismissive wave. “I’ll handle it.” He glanced at Annber. “I thought that was between us.”

  Annber turned pink and gave an embarrassed shrug.

  Carlie wasn’t going to let it go. “Her niece sexually harassing another student is a big deal, Principal Josh. I hope you are handling it.”

  A piercing buzz sounded in my ears. “Come again? Sexual harassment?” What in the flim-flam was going on?

  Principal Josh faced me and said, “We can discuss it Thursday.” He turned back to the others. “Now, let’s focus on the school real quick. When Mindy and I last met we went over fundraising ideas so she’ll share with you. Our meetings are very productive, aren’t they Mindy?”

  She beamed. “Yes.”

  Principal Josh said, “I’ll see you ladies at our appointments. Thanks for being a part of this with me. Without you smart, amazing, and strong woman, where would I be?”

  Carlie grunted and crossed her arms.

  He said, “You too, Carlie. You’re special, and what you do is like no other.” Instantly her ruffled feathers relaxed, and she blushed.

  “Enjoy your Unicorn Brew, Josh,” June called.

  Principal Josh picked up his thirty-two-ounce coffee and gave June a salute. “Where would I be without you?” he asked her. He gave everyone a toothy smile and breezed out the door.

  I was still a few seconds behind with the whole Cora and sexual harassment thing. I said to Annber, “Care to explain?”

  “Only that your niece touched my daughter in places she shouldn’t.”

  Carlie’s upper lip curled. She sneered, “She rubbed her hands up and down Annber’s daughter’s torso, like that’s allowed.”

  Somehow the pieces weren’t connecting. I looked around the coffee shop confused.

  June threw me a bone. “It’s those sequin shirts. The ones that change images if you rub up or down.”

  Click. I said to Carlie and Annber, “Are you saying you’re accusing my niece of sexual harassment because she rubbed up and down on Annber’s kid’s shirt?”

  Annber nodded “Yes. Made my Kali uncomfortable. Touching another body is not okay unless you have expressed permission.”

  “They’re six,” I said. “They eat their boogers.”

  The mommies sat back in horror as if such a concept never existed in their world.

  Carlie snarled, “You can handle it on Thursday. Hopefully, you’ll have a better defense than your niece is too stupid to not know better. And to think your mother is the mayor.”

  I wanted to beat her with her Hunter boots. Instead, I channeled my anger toward Principal Josh and his inability to defuse this situation. And for letting me learn about this the way I had.

  “Oh, hell no,” I said and jerked up my bag, “we’re gonna solve this today.”

  4

  Tuesday

  I broke several laws driving the three blocks to Cora’s school. I hoped to catch Principal Josh before he went into the building. This conversation would not go well. The chance of me not yelling was slim. But that’s not why I wanted to catch him outside. Imagining myself confined to a space behind a closed door with the man made my protective radar vibrate like a struck tuning fork.

  LC listed to the side when I took the turn into the school parking lot at a high speed. Principal Josh was walking toward the front door and I pulled across a parking spot. He paused, tipped this head back as he finished the last of his Unicorn’s Brew, then tossed it in the trash. The cardboard cup bounced off the can and fell to the ground.

  Josh paused and stared at the front of the school while surreptitiously kicking the cup behind the trash can. He then took a small object from his pocket and held it to his mouth.

  Shut the front door! Principal Josh was vaping.

  On reflex alone, I snatched up my camera and went to remove the lens cap. Only it was gone. Left behind at the coffee shop. Having done so shaved seconds off my sighting Josh in the viewfinder. I held down the shutter as I brought him into focus.

  Proof, evidence, or blackmail. My gut told me these images were gonna come in handy.

  Josh Chapman was amazing, and I didn’t mean that in the most complimentary way. Currently, an epidemic called vaping lung disease was sweeping the country. Little was known as the first incident occurred a short time ago, but from what Dad had said, something was in the vape juice that was making people sick. Two people had even died.

  And here was Mr. Marvelous-school-principal puffing away as if the juice in his vape pen couldn’t possibly contain deadly consequences. What made a person do that? Hubris?

  Faster than he’d whipped out the vape pen from his pocket, he tossed it in the trash can and stepped away.

  Danika Post pushed through the front doors of the school. The schoolcounselor took one look at Josh and turned around, apparently to go back inside to avoid him.

  I kept my camera focused on them, wishing I could read lips.

  Before she could go inside, Principal Josh caught her by the elbow, but she pulled away and attempted to skirt him, keeping her oversized purse between them. They had a brief exchange that looked unpleasant. He made a lazy lurch toward her, but she was quick to put distance between them and scurried off, never looking back. Josh leaned one hand against the building and watched her go.

  When he turned to go into the entrance, I slipped my camera onto the floorboard then sprung from LC and called his name. Either he didn’t hear me or ignored me, I don’t know. He went inside.

  The school, housed in the old community center building, was downtown, tucked between a bank and a building waiting for a purpose. The recent remodel of the VGS had done an excellent job of making the building look like a school, except for the double glass front doors. A clear security issue if you asked me.

  I flung one side open and stormed the lobby while counting to ten to compose myself. A large crescent-shaped desk created a barrier between the front door and what lay after. Willa Rivers, June’s mother, sat at the desk. She gave me a happy smile. A second lady, her desk plate reading Jami Walters, Fiscal, sat next to Mrs. Rivers.

  “Hello, Samantha, how are you today?” Mrs. Rivers rose to greet me.

  “I’m great, Mrs. Rivers, how are you?” Mr. Rivers, a farmer, had died when June was a toddler. Mrs. Rivers turned their farmland into endless flower beds that were stunning in spring and autumn.

  “Doing fine. What can I help you with?”

  To my left were two offices. The door farthest from me was closed with a placard hanging on the wall that read Principal Josh Chambers.

  Man, he was quick. I’d been seconds
behind him, and yet he was already safely behind the door.

  “I need to speak with Principal Josh. Apparently there’s an issue with my niece?” I played with the pen on the desk, stretching the chain that kept it from being stolen.

  “Are you on his schedule? I’ll have to check, but I believe I cleared his schedule because we’re getting a surprise visit from the superintendent and school board any minute now so…”

  “I only need a second.” My impatience pushed back against her resistance. “He may have added me. We talked at How Ya Bean and made an appointment.”

  She huffed. “That man! It would be just like him to add a mom into his day when I tell him to leave it free.” She wiggled her computer mouse, and the unit began to hum.

  I had to strike while the iron was hot, as they say.

  “Sorry, Mrs. Rivers.” I scurried around the barrier toward his door. “Only need a minute to give him a piece of my mind.”

  I’d made my move as she was lowering herself into her chair, causing her to hover as if she debated chasing after me. “You can’t go in there,” she said halfheartedly before she plopped into her chair. “Why do I bother? Women come and go all the time.”

  I flung the door open and spotted Principal Josh slumped with his side against his desk, one hand pressed against the desktop and the other on his chest. His head down.

  My temper got the best of me. “You can’t let that Stepford mom drop a serious bomb like that and expect me to wait a few days to resolve it. Because that would really make you the village idiot. Which you might be considering you’ve likely broken some confidentiality law.” My raised tone echoed off the walls. Fury clear in the sharp and biting crispness of my words.

  “Samantha, please,” he said in his soft be-kind voice. He continued to rub his chest.

  As I kicked the door closed I said, “You’re lucky I didn’t brain someone with my camera back there. I’m half tempted to clobber you. How is it that a group of women know my family’s business before I do?” The door slammed with a resounding bang.

  “Samantha, please,” he said again, only the words were slurred. He looked up at me. His face was a stark white, ghostly, and glistened from sweat. He picked up a half-empty twelve-ounce water bottle. Inside, the fluid was light pink, and on the bottom, an effervescent tablet was breaking down.