Keeping Her: The HEA Collection

by Rena Marks

  Chapter Six

  Eight months later…

  I’m home for the first time in my life, but I’m not quite sure how long it will last. The last eight months have been the best of my life. It was a quiet birthday party, just me, Molly, Nick, and Sheriff Jeff. Molly has a huge crush on him, though she hopes no one can tell.

  I can tell, so she came clean.

  Originally the plan was to take Molly down to CU in Boulder after Sheriff Jeff—who hates that we won’t call him Jeff—came for my birthday. Nick is leaning toward him taking Molly down to CU for good. In uniform. Nick is sure it’ll keep unwanted male attention off Molly. I’m not quite sure if he’d be as eager if he knew how Molly crushed on his friend and has eyes for no other.

  I’m not sure how Nick would feel if he knew how I crushed on him. It’s an awful predicament. He’s my world—my light, my savior, my everything. Knowing I’ve crossed the line and have fallen in love with him could ruin everything. He could kick me to the curb. But how could my crush not fall into full blown love? I had a day here and there where it was just Nick and I in the house and it showed me what life could be like.

  But then the doubts started. Now that Molly was away, what if Nick decides to date? I know how irresistible Nick is. During the pretend date he took me on last spring, every woman in the restaurant had her eyes glued to him. I’m sure he gets hit on all the time. What if he meets someone before I can even finish school? God, what if he introduces me to the woman as one of his little sisters?

  I know what I had to do, and the plan is in action. I’ll have to avoid Nick for my last year in high school until I can go off to CU also. I can’t bear to watch him fall for another. At least I have Molly on my side. She knows of my feelings now that I know of hers. She’d love if I’d end up with Nick, but we both know chances of that are slim to none. He treats me like another kid sister—even worse since I blundered and attempted my clumsy flirtation on our dinner date. God, it was pathetic. I’d gushed about how wonderful he was and watched the shutters come down over his eyes. I knew right then and there I had it wrong. Molly understands the frustration—because she’s facing the same thing with Jeff. He’s just as goody-two-shoes as Nick. At least she wasn’t stupid enough to stare at him with her heart shining in her eyes. At least she didn’t tell him there was no one in the world as wonderful as him—and then have to watch the wariness crawl over his expression. We’d driven home in dead silence. It was horrible.

  If Molly and I weren’t a grade apart, we could probably attack our problems together. But timing got in the way. It took me months to get over my fears to even leave their house. I was terrified my parents would be lurking somewhere behind a tree, waiting to order me away, and I’d obey like the good little slave girl afraid to lose my eternal soul. I had a therapist who helped me face my fear. We even reenacted it, with Nick playing my mother and Molly playing my father. The therapist switched the roles purposely and I’m not sure why. She had me go outside alone, blindfolded. Nick approached with an iron-like clamp around my upper arm, telling me I would come with them.

  Molly threw watered down Pine Sol at me like holy water and muttered bible verses under her breath. It was surprisingly real despite the lunacy that was Molly, and I was quivering within seconds.

  But then my therapist was there, her powerful voice giving me options of what to do. Reminding me I was an adult. Giving me the most powerful option of all.

  “You’re an adult. You have choices. Just say no.”

  “No.” At first my voice was shaky, weak.

  By the end of the lesson, I was able to rip my arm from Nick’s grip and the word was loud…and final. The word was my power.

  Nick and Molly were so proud of me. But there was also something in Nick’s eyes that I couldn’t place. Something that scared me. He wasn’t alone with me much after that, leaving me more time with Molly.

  Now that I was finally able to leave the house, she and I went shopping a lot. We chose Jeff’s days off so he could drive with us at first, until I could get used to leaving the city. It only took two visits, but somehow Jeff ended up going with us much more than that. I wished Nick would have joined in once in a while. Molly stayed quiet and told me things would get different when she and Jeff were gone and it was just Nick and I in the house.

  But I was nervous. What if it didn’t? What if he hated me after that date at the Flagstaff House?

  Yet here we were. Showtime. Molly hadn’t been gone but an hour. After Jeff picked her up, I went to seek solace in my room.

  I was unsure of what to do now with my best friend gone. Should I hide out in my bedroom, like I had when I lived at my parents’ house? Give Nick space for the rest of the time I was in his home?

  A soft rapping echoes on the doorjamb before Nick pokes his head into my room, face wary. How had things gotten so strained? I often think about the first night when I slept in his arms. Now he can barely come into my room even though the door is open.

  “Can we talk?”

  Oh, shit. I hate those words. At least he is asking instead of waiting for me at the dining room table with the more commanding words: Sit down. We need to talk.

  I sit up warily, crossing my legs under me, which have filled out into a curvier form now that I’m eating regular meals and not slaving for hours on end. Nick looks around my room quickly, like he doesn’t want to enter. But he does and sits down on the bed next to me, both of us leaning back against the headboard.

  “You’re eighteen now,” he begins and I panic.

  I may be eighteen, but I have one last year of high school left. Though, if I had to, I guess I could swing it. Get a job, a small apartment. Maybe a roommate. I only have a couple classes left to take during my senior year. Most of my requirements are complete.

  “I know. It came quicker than I expected. Please don’t kick me out yet.”

  “Kick you out? Baby, what are you talking about?” His eyes are clouded in befuddlement. “Jesus, is that why you’re so fucking wary I think you’re going to jump out of your skin? I told you, Rachel. This is your home. Would I kick Molly out? Would Molly kick me out? No? Okay. Never think that way again.”

  In that short conversation, his voice is back to normal. This is what makes me feel comforted. Before this, Nick has schooled over his commanding voice ever since dealing with the therapist. But the command in his voice has never made me queasy…not like the feeling I get with them. No, I missed the command in his voice. It meant safety to me. But yet, I have to tell him exactly why I’m wary.

  “Nick, I know I screwed up when we had dinner at Flagstaff. I made you uncomfortable with my schoolgirl crush—”

  “You made me uncomfortable because I knew you wanted me and I’m barely holding on by a thread, Rachel. It makes me hard just knowing you want me.”

  He reaches for me like he can’t help himself and I hold him just as tightly, my arms wrapped around his neck. I can’t believe this. Nick wants me? He lifts me so I’m onto his lap and I feel kisses pressed onto my cheek, my neck, my hair.

  Molly was right. We just needed to be alone for the walls to come crumbling down. A small thrill shoots through me. My emotions were on all ends of the spectrum. Not two seconds ago I expected to be kicked out and now here I am holding out for Nick’s love.

  “Sweet girl.” He breathes in the scent of my hair. “You make me want to spank you.” His breath hitches when he realizes what he said. Of all things.

  He looks so horrified, I start to giggle.

  “Shit, Rachel, I’m sorry.”

  I giggle harder.

  He tenses, his spine ramrod straight. “Are you having a breakdown?”

  “No,” I laugh. “I’m not that fragile, Nick. I just find it funny that we’re always walking on eggshells. I thought you wanted to kick me out and you’re kicking yourself from bringing up my whole spanking issue.”

  His back relaxes and he begins stroking my hair. “I wanted to talk to you about another issue. My pro
posal is easy. You don’t have to go to school anymore if you don’t want to.”

  “Huh? I have my senior year left.”

  “You only have a couple of classes. I mean, I understand if you want to have the social interaction and get out of the house. But you don’t have to. I can homeschool you. I work mornings in my office. We can set you up to do your schooling at the same time and we can enjoy the rest of the day together.”

  “You want to spend the day with me?”

  He tugs my hair back, forcing me to look up at him. “Of course, I do. Isn’t that obvious?”

  I’m honestly confused. “No. You’ve left me and Molly alone since I’ve moved in.”

  “It wasn’t easy,” he says. “I know you and Molly needed time together. And I needed an excuse to stay away from you until you became legal.”

  “What do you mean?” I whisper.

  He takes a deep breath. “Let’s take this slow, okay? I know you have a crush on me.” I move to deny it, after all it’s why I spent months wondering if he’d kick me out, but he hushes me with fingers pressed to my lips. “I know you still do. You’re mine, Rachel, and I know you like I know the back of my hand. I refused to give you up that night I found you, even when I knew you had other options. But I was afraid to lose you. I’ve come this far and now I’m baring it all. I’ll give you a little time to get used to the idea—to realize it’s not a bad thing…this crush you have on me.”

  He settles his forehead to mine. I can feel the tremble in his body. He wants me?

  “It’s not a crush…”

  “Baby, it might be. As Jeff pointed out to me…I’m your savior. I got you away from a horrible, intolerable situation. You may have hero worship over that. In any case, I don’t want to risk it. I want that little crush to grow into more. I’m going to make you fall in love with me. Long term. Forever.”

  Seriously? He’s saying exactly what I’ve been wanting for so long?

  “Okay. You work on that and I’ll let you know when I do.”

  His face looks shocked for a moment before he recovers and a grin splits his face. “You’re a brat. I’m not sure why I think of you as an angel.”

  “Oh, it hurt…” I moan. “It hurt so badly when I fell down from heaven.”

  He starts tickling me and somehow we’re lying prone on my bed when his eyes darken. His breathing deepens and I love the feel of his large body covering mine.

  “Rachel.” His voice is tortured. “This isn’t taking it slow.” We stare into each other’s eyes.

  Very, very slowly, I widen my legs under him, spreading them open until the bulge of him presses between them. It feels so good there; my eyes almost roll back into my head at the first contact. The temptation—the promise. Desire unfurls in my belly.

  “Oh, god, Nick.”

  “Lust shouldn’t be how I encourage that crush to grow.” He’s mumbling to himself as he presses his groin to my sweet spot. “This is definitely not taking things slow, baby girl.”

  “It’s all relative,” I pant, angling my hips so my clit is rubbed. “It would be very slow for say…the school slut.”

  His lips break into a small smile. “You’re not the school slut. You’re a virgin. You’re my virgin.”

  “I could become the school slut easily. I never knew it could feel like this,” I gasp, as he grinds his pelvis against mine.

  “It only feels like this between us.” His voice is a deep growl.

  I moan at the friction between my legs.

  “One thing at a time, sweet girl. We do a little necking—and I release the tension you’re feeling. Can’t have my girl in a constant state of arousal. I’ll go shower and jack myself off afterward.” Something hot and tantalizing fills my limbs, rushing to my lower organs. It’s scorching hot, liquid need.

  “But…”

  “No buts. I won’t do anything to regret this relationship. We’re taking it slow. No matter what, baby.”

  “But one day we will, right? One day we’ll…” hell, maybe he’s right. I can’t even say it.

  “Oh yes. Someday we’ll go all the way. Someday I’ll take this virgin pussy. I’ll break it, make it mine. You’re still gonna be in high school when it happens. I’m just glad you’re eighteen.”

  Good, I’ll have something to look forward to.

  “But before then I’m gonna eat this virgin pussy. I’m going to have you go crazy as you cum all over my face. But not today. We’re going to explore things, take them one day at a time.”

  His filthy words are driving me crazy with need. He has no idea, but my goal is to lose the virginity before school begins.

  “Show me,” I demand. “I might want to still go to high school. But show me how you would home school. Be my teacher.”

  He smiles before dipping his head down. I tilt my head up, anticipating his touch. But he doesn’t descend. Instead he hovers just a hair’s breadth over my mouth.

  “This can’t be weird after, okay? Promise me we’re still good after this.” God, I can feel the heat of his breath, smell the mint of his drink.

  “I promise,” I whisper.

  He cups my jaw in his big hands and leans way down to my level, watching me carefully. “You going to close your eyes?”

  I shake my head. “I want to see everything.” Hell, I don’t care if I go cross-eyed.

  His lips stop mine from moving, and my eyes close despite myself. His lips are firm. And soft. Why didn’t I think they would be soft? There’s a breathy little moan and it sounds wanton and needy and kind of sexy. I realize it’s a womanly sound before I realize it’s me.

  His big hands shift a little, directing me to tilt so he can deepen the kiss.

  Oh, wow.

  He’s taking long, languid sips of my mouth, and I think my bones are melting. I want to be noting how much pressure he’s using, what angle our heads are, all the things that are important to remember for a first kiss, but instead, I whimper as heat floods low in my body. I want him closer. Aching for something I can’t name.

  He pulls back slightly and I’m aware of his breathing. It’s deep. He’s breathing hard, trying to control himself, but then he gives up. When his tongue sweeps across my lips, my mouth opens in welcome like we’ve done this a thousand times. The stroke of his tongue stokes some kind of inner fire. I sigh in his mouth.

  And then he pulls back, bracing his weight on his arms, and thank God, he looks a little dazed too, because I don’t want to be the only one.

  “I’m gonna take care of you. If you have any objections, let me know now.” His voice doesn’t sound like Nick. It’s almost like a scary stranger coming from Nick’s body.

  I don’t make a sound to indicate I don’t want this.

  He peels the leggings from my body and they’re so very damp at the crotch. “That’s what I want to see,” he mutters, holding them up to his face. “It’s from one kiss. One kiss makes you cream for me.”

  It’s so dirty—so naughty—to see him inhale deeply.

  It turns me on like nobody’s business. I’m more than eager when he lifts the tank top I wear up over my chest to expose my boobs. I don’t care that I’m naked because Nick is studying my body like he wants to memorize every detail.

  “Perfect nipples,” he mutters. “Pink. Puckered.” He bends down and captures one in his mouth and oh, God. His mouth is so hot, so wet as he laves it, again and again. As I whimper, he takes the tip of his tongue and flicks it against the tip of my nipple.

  Then he latches on fully and sucks hard. It pulls deep inside me.

  I moan and it’s the neediest sound.

  “You like that,” he says with satisfaction. I nod, but I’m shaky.

  “All of these touches and light flicks with my tongue are going to feel good on your pussy, too,” he says. His gray eyes are dark when he looks up—full of stormy desire. I can’t imagine what it’ll feel like to have his tongue…there.

  “You’re going to cream when you come and I’m going to lap up
all the juice,” he said.

  I’m already creaming. I’m sure he can feel it against his abdomen, a slick and shiny lust.

  “I’m going to play with this little pussy so much then when I finally sink my hot dick into it, you won’t even feel any virgin pain. You’ll just feel relief—like my cock finally came home.”

  “I can’t wait,” I mutter, and push his head back down to my breast.

  He grins against my nipple before sucking it again.

  His fingers inch toward my pussy and his touch on my folds is electric, zinging through me all at once. I cry out in sharp need.

  “That’s it, baby. I love when you’re vocal.”

  He continues to slurp at my breast as he explores my pussy. When his thumb comes up to my clit, I almost jump with excitement. It’s way too much and I’m about ready to explode in his hand.

  “Not yet,” he says, moving back and settling on his knees. “I want to watch you cum this first time. I want to see the explosion in your pussy and I want to see your face. I want to watch your little tits quiver as you come.”

  I’m so okay with his kneeling and watching as he worships my body, works it, figures out how to make me cum. He reaches for a pillow and works it under my ass, angling my hips up so I’m open and splayed. I still don’t find any embarrassment. It’s just a sexy turn on to know this…this is his idea of going slow. To make me cum while he watches.

  He reaches slowly, tentatively to spread my pussy open. I can feel every touch of his thumb as it holds my labia open, every kiss of air. My clit is hard and throbbing with need.

  “So fucking beautiful,” he mutters. “I can’t wait to taste you. I can smell you from here—musky and sweet. I can’t wait for your honey to coat my cock one day. The first time, I’m gonna sink in balls deep.”

  “Okay,” I pant, because I want that, too. I just wish we didn’t have to wait to do it all.

  His finger dips into my hole and pushes in. My heated flesh parts easily for him. The invasion is exquisite as he curls his finger, rubbing the front of my inner sheath and making my knees tremble.