Karen's Secret

by Ann M. Martin

  I even found my missing green rubber boot.

  “Is that yours?” asked Nancy. “I could never figure out why I had three green boots.”

  “Now what?” I asked when we finished.

  “There’s some dirty laundry downstairs. Mommy likes the light things and dark things to be different piles,” Nancy replied.

  Sorting laundry is not my favorite job. But I wanted to help Nancy do as many good deeds as possible. So we went downstairs. While we were there, Mrs. Dawes came into the basement.

  “Girls, I have been watching you work all afternoon. And I just do not understand. Why are you doing this?” she asked.

  “We are trying to help you,” said Nancy.

  “Are you sure that is all? Are you sure you are not in trouble?” asked Mrs. Dawes.

  “No,” said Nancy. “We are not in trouble.”

  “Well, I was in a little trouble today at school. But that is not why we are helping you,” I said.

  “Have you done something wrong? Are you trying to make up for it?” asked Mrs. Dawes. “I will not be angry with you — as long as you tell the truth.”

  What a day! No one would listen to me. At school, I told Natalie I was sorry. But she would not listen. And I had just told Mrs. Dawes I was not in trouble. But she would not listen either.

  “We are trying to help out before the baby comes,” said Nancy.

  “Well, thank you,” replied Mrs. Dawes. “I just wanted to be sure nothing was wrong.”

  Mrs. Dawes went back upstairs.

  “It does not matter what I do,” said Nancy sadly. “If I do something good, Mommy thinks I did something bad. If I do something bad, she won’t even get angry.”

  “Do you want to finish folding the laundry?” I asked.

  “Why should we? Mommy does not care if I am good or bad. So I may as well be bad. That will show her,” said Nancy.

  That sounded like trouble to me.

  Karen’s Fault

  Something was not right. When I arrived at school on Thursday, my friends were talking to each other again. They were finished being mad. Jannie and Pamela were talking to each other. So were Ricky and Bobby. But no one was talking to me.

  I heard Bobby say, “Ssh! It’s Blarin’ Karen. Do not talk to her.”

  “That’s right,” said Natalie. “It’s all her fault.

  “Hi, Karen!” said Hannie. At least she was talking to me. Nancy was, too. They were the only ones who were not mad at me — except for Ms. Colman, that is.

  “Good morning, class,” said our teacher. “Please be seated for attendance.” She began calling names. “Karen Brewer.”

  “Here!” I replied. I wanted to add, “But I wish I were somewhere else.” That is because I was sitting between two statues. (Statues do not talk.) The Natalie statue was on one side. The Ricky statue was on the other. (I hoped Ricky and I would not have to get divorced over this.)

  “We are going to continue learning about the solar system today,” said Ms. Colman. “Karen, you may be the sun.”

  Oh goody! I thought. The sun is gigundoly important. It is a star. It is the biggest, brightest, and hottest object in the solar system. (That is what it said in the book Ms. Colman read to us.) The kids would not give the silent treatment to the sun. Would they?

  They would. And they did. The other kids played the nine planets and the earth’s moon. They played a bunch of asteroids. Ms. Colman said they all had to travel around me. But she did not say they had to talk to me. And they didn’t. Boo.

  At lunchtime, I sat with Hannie and Nancy in the cafeteria.

  “You were a great sun,” said Hannie. “I should have brought my sunglasses!”

  “I was putting on make-believe sun lotion. Did you see?” asked Nancy.

  “I saw you!” replied Hannie.

  When we finished our lunch, we went outside to the playground. Pamela walked by with Jannie and Leslie.

  “Psst-psst-psst.” They made believe they were telling secrets to each other. Who cares, I thought? (I cared, that’s who.)

  The tetherball pole was free. So I played Hannie. I won. Then I played Nancy. I won again. But I could not win another game because no one else would play with me.

  After recess, we had art with Mr. Mackey. I am a very talented artist, in case you did not know it. We were making fall collages. We pasted leaves and acorns on colored paper.

  “Would you please pass the glue?” I said to Hank.

  He passed the glue. But he turned his head in the other direction.

  “Thank you very much,” I said.

  He did not say, “You are welcome.” He did not say, “That is an exquisite collage.” (He probably would not say “exquisite” even if he was talking to me.) But he was not talking to me. No one was.

  It was a yucky day.

  Down with Babies

  “Do you want to come over to my house again?” asked Nancy.

  “Sure!” I replied. School had not been fun. But I knew Nancy’s house would be.

  Mommy was staying at home with Andrew. (He had a tummy ache.) So Mrs. Dawes drove us home. I called Mommy from Nancy’s house. She said I could stay. I told her to please give Andrew a message. “Tell him I hope he feels better,” I said. (See what a good big sister I am?)

  Nancy and I had apple juice and rice cakes with peanut butter for our snack. Then we went upstairs to Nancy’s room. Pokey was taking a catnap on Nancy’s bed.

  “Hello, Pokey,” I said. I rubbed Pokey behind his ear. I knew he liked it because he started to purr.

  “Listen. I have a plan,” said Nancy. She looked very serious. “I am not going to let Mommy have this baby.”

  I stopped rubbing Pokey’s ear. I looked at Nancy.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “I have a new kitten,” said Nancy. “I do not need a new baby. And I do not see why Mommy and Daddy need one either.”

  “I don’t think you can stop the baby now,” I said.

  “Oh, yes, I can,” replied Nancy.

  “What are you going to do?” I asked.

  “I am going to erase Mommy’s next doctor’s appointment from her calendar. That way she will forget to go. And I am going to hide the suitcase she was going to take to the hospital,” said Nancy.

  “How will that stop the baby?” I asked.

  “It just will,” said Nancy. “Help me think of other things to do. And, remember, I can do whatever I want. I’m a bad girl now.”

  I did not like the sound of her plan. But I did not want Nancy to be mad at me. Enough kids were mad at me already. I tried to think of things that would make Nancy feel better, but would not get us into too much trouble.

  “We can hide all the new baby books your mommy and daddy bought,” I suggested.

  “Good idea!” said Nancy. We ran downstairs. There was a pile of books in the living room. We hid them in the back of the closet we had cleaned.

  “Okay! We’re done,” I said. “Now let’s make Pokey a rubber band ball. That would be fun.” (I was not having fun yet at Nancy’s house.)

  “No,” said Nancy firmly. “We are not finished yet. I have another idea. Let’s move some old chairs and things into the guest room. We will fill it up so it cannot be the baby’s room anymore.”

  “Won’t that make a lot of noise?” I asked.

  “It’s okay. Mommy is way downstairs in the basement doing the laundry. She won’t hear us,” said Nancy.

  We moved three chairs, a small table, and an old trunk into the guest room. By the time we finished there was no room for a crib. There was not even room for a rag doll.

  “Want to help me hide Mommy’s suitcase now?” asked Nancy.

  “I do not think so. I better go home and keep Andrew company,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay, ‘bye,” said Nancy. But she wasn’t paying any attention to me. She was busy dragging her mommy’s suitcase out from under the bed.

  Nancy was down on babies.

  “I Have A
Secret”

  Psst-psst, psst-psst, psst-psst-psst. It was Friday morning. As soon as I came into my classroom, the kids started whispering to each other.

  Oh, no, I thought. Not another day of the silent treatment.

  Then Bobby said to me, “I have a secret, Blarin’ Karen … but I am not telling it to you.”

  “You don’t have to!” I replied happily. Bobby was being a meanie. But at least he was talking to me.

  “Have you blabbed any secrets yet today?” asked Leslie.

  “No, but it’s still early,” I replied. I felt very relieved. Two kids had spoken to me. Today was going to be much better than yesterday.

  I went to the back of the room to talk to Nancy and Hannie before Ms. Colman arrived. On the way, I passed Pamela and Jannie.

  “Could you walk a little faster, please?” said Pamela. “We don’t want you to hear what we are saying.”

  “That’s right,” said Jannie. “If we wanted the whole class to know what we were saying, we would tell them ourselves.”

  “Don’t worry,” I said. “I am not interested in your secrets.”

  I passed Terri and Tammy next. They lowered their voices to a whisper when they saw me. I kept on walking.

  “Hi, Hannie. Hi, Nancy,” I said.

  “Guess what I did after you left my house,” said Nancy. “I hid Mommy’s suitcase. I erased the doctor’s appointment from her calendar. And I threw away all the baby food and diaper coupons she and Daddy have been saving.”

  “I do not think that is going to stop the baby from coming,” said Hannie.

  “Me neither,” I agreed.

  “Good morning, class,” said Ms. Colman. “It’s time to start our day.”

  I leaned over to Nancy and Hannie and whispered, “See you later.”

  “Why are we whispering?” whispered Nancy.

  “If everyone else in this room can have secrets, so can we,” I replied.

  “Right,” whispered Hannie. “See you later.”

  After attendance Natalie was called over the P. A. system.

  “See you later, Natalie!” called Pamela.

  “You can look at my notebook when you come back,” said Bobby.

  I was glad everyone was being nice to Natalie. No one teased her at all about speech class. That is what she had been afraid of in the first place. That is why she had wanted me to keep her speech classes a secret.

  So that was okay — even if Natalie’s secret wasn’t a secret anymore. Now I just had to get myself out of trouble. I was tired of hearing psst-psst-psst. I was tired of everyone keeping secrets. I had to do something. And I knew what that something was going to be.

  I was going to apologize to Natalie. I was going to make a public announcement. I wanted everyone to hear me.

  “Say You’re Sorry”

  “I have made an important decision,” I announced to Nancy and Hannie. We were in the cafeteria eating lunch. It was hard to sound important with a mouthful of peanut butter sandwich. So I swallowed some milk to wash it down. Then I continued.

  “I am going to apologize to Natalie. And I want to do it in front of everyone,” I said.

  Nancy and Hannie thought that was a good idea.

  “Why don’t you do it right now?” suggested Hannie. “You can do it on the playground.”

  “Okay,” I said. “I will.”

  Our classmates were starting to leave the cafeteria. I had to act fast. I jumped up and said in my biggest outdoor voice (even though we were still indoors), “Attention, everybody! I have something to say to Natalie. If you would like to hear what it is, meet me outside on the playground.”

  There. That was done. Next I had to think of just what to say. I took one last swallow of my milk.

  “Do I have a milk mustache?” I asked Nancy.

  “A little one on the left side,” she replied.

  I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I did not want to have a milk mustache when I made my announcement. I did not want to look like a dweeb.

  I walked outside and stood under a tree on the playground. When I turned around, everyone in my class was facing me. My apology was not quite ready. I thought quickly. Greetings, fellow classmates. No, that was no good. I tried again. Natalie, dear friend, who sits in the front row with me …

  I realized Hannie was nudging me. “Go ahead, Karen. Say you’re sorry,” she whispered.

  Why didn’t I think of that? I wondered. I took a deep breath. The words began pouring out of my mouth.

  “Natalie, I am very sorry,” I said. “I should have kept your secret. You trusted me and I let you down.”

  That was probably enough. I wanted to say one more thing.

  “I would also like to point out that I was not the only person who could not keep a secret. I only told one person. I did not tell the whole class. So how did the whole class find out? They found out because everybody else told just one person, too. I am not the only one who cannot keep a secret,” I said.

  Maybe that was enough. But I thought of one more thing I wanted to say.

  “The last thing I want to say is this. The only reason I told the secret in the first place was because I was very worried about you, Natalie. I did not do it to be mean.”

  There. My speech was finished. I thought it was pretty good. I took a bow.

  “I accept your apology, Karen,” said Natalie. “Maybe I should not have made such a big deal about keeping my speech classes a secret. Maybe I should have told the truth to begin with. If I had told the truth, none of this would have happened.”

  “I’m sorry I did not keep the secret, too, Karen,” said Nancy. “I told it to Hannie.”

  “And I told Hank,” Hannie admitted.

  “I told the secret to Bobby,” said Ricky. “I’m sorry, Karen and Natalie.”

  By the time recess was over, everyone had said they were sorry to everyone else. The fight was over.

  The Truth

  School was over. Nancy and I were in her room. We were playing with Pokey. Nancy promised me that we would not have to hide any more baby things.

  “I wish you had been with us at school today, Pokey,” I said. “You would have been very proud of me.”

  “I was proud of you. You told the truth to everyone,” said Nancy.

  “Thanks,” I replied. “I decided to come clean and confess.”

  “Well, I am going to come clean and confess, too,” said Nancy. “I am going to tell Mommy about everything.”

  “I think that’s a good idea. I will go with you,” I said. “After all, I helped you.”

  “Okay,” said Nancy. “We’ll do it now.”

  “Pokey, you can stay here,” I said. “You are innocent.”

  Mrs. Dawes was in the kitchen. She was on the phone. She did not look very happy.

  “I am so sorry,” she said. “I usually do not forget my appointments. Can we make it next Friday instead?”

  Nancy and I looked at each other. I knew we were both wondering the same thing. Was this the best time to tell the truth?

  Mrs. Dawes hung up the phone. We had to decide fast.

  “Hello, girls,” she said. Then she sighed. “Can I get you something?”

  “No, thank you, Mommy,” said Nancy. She looked at me. I nodded. It was now or never.

  “We … we have something to tell you,” said Nancy.

  “I’m listening,” replied Mrs. Dawes.

  “It’s about your doctor’s appointment. It’s about why you missed it,” said Nancy.

  “It was our fault, Mrs. Dawes,” I said. “We did some things the other day so you wouldn’t have the baby. We hid your baby books and moved furniture into the guest room and …”

  “And I erased your doctor’s appointment from your calendar!” Nancy blurted out.

  “Oh, girls! How could you?” cried Mrs. Dawes in a loud voice. It was not an outdoor voice. It was more like an angry voice.

  “We are very, very sorry,” I said. (This was my day for “I am sor
ry” speeches.)

  “Karen, I would appreciate it if you went home now. I would like to talk with Nancy.”

  “Okay, I understand. ’Bye, Nancy,” I said. I walked out the door. I did not go very far. There was something I needed to tell Nancy. I poked my head back inside.

  “Tell your mother why you do not want her to have the baby,” I said. “Tell her the whole story. Tell her the truth.”

  Nancy and Her Mother

  “I’m so sorry, Mommy,” sobbed Nancy. “I did all those things because I was worried about having a new brother or sister.”

  I was still standing there. I hoped Nancy and her mother would not mind.

  “What are you worried about? Can you tell me?” asked Mrs. Dawes.

  “I am worried about what will happen to me. I am afraid that the baby is going to be smarter than me. Or better at doing things. Then you and Daddy won’t love me anymore,” said Nancy.

  “Time for a talk,” said Mrs. Dawes. She pulled Nancy into her lap.

  “Ahem,” I said.

  “You may stay,” said Mrs. Dawes.

  “Thanks,” I said. I pulled up a chair.

  “Nancy, I am going to tell you something I hope you won’t ever forget. If you do, I will remind you: You are very special to Daddy and me. Nothing and no one can change that. No baby — no matter how wonderful — can take your place.”

  Nancy gave her mommy a big hug.

  “We will love your baby brother or sister. But parents can love their children differently,” explained Mrs. Dawes. “Your daddy and I have a lot of love to give. And we are not going to love you any less when the baby comes. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” Nancy replied.

  “Are you sure?” asked Mrs. Dawes.

  Nancy nodded her head.

  “I understand, too!” I cried. “I am a big sister and a little sister. Once I was worried that Daddy loved Emily Michelle more than me. But that was not so. He said the same things you did. And now I know they are true.”

  There it was again. The truth. I was glad we had told Mrs. Dawes the truth about the things we did. And I was glad that Nancy’s worries about the new baby were not a secret anymore.