The Marrow of Tradition

by Charles W. Chesnutt

  XXXI

  THE SHADOW OF A DREAM

  Mrs. Carteret awoke, with a start, from a troubled dream. She had beensailing across a sunlit sea, in a beautiful boat, her child lying on abright-colored cushion at her feet. Overhead the swelling sail served asan awning to keep off the sun's rays, which far ahead were reflectedwith dazzling brilliancy from the shores of a golden island. Her son,she dreamed, was a fairy prince, and yonder lay his kingdom, to which hewas being borne, lying there at her feet, in this beautiful boat, acrossthe sunlit sea.

  Suddenly and without warning the sky was overcast. A squall struck theboat and tore away the sail. In the distance a huge billow--a greatwhite wall of water--came sweeping toward their frail craft, threateningit with instant destruction. She clasped her child to her bosom, and amoment later found herself struggling in the sea, holding the child'shead above the water. As she floated there, as though sustained by someunseen force, she saw in the distance a small boat approaching over thestorm-tossed waves. Straight toward her it came, and she had reached outher hand to grasp its side, when the rower looked back, and she saw thatit was her sister. The recognition had been mutual. With a sharpmovement of one oar the boat glided by, leaving her clutching at theempty air. She felt her strength begin to fail. Despairingly shesignaled with her disengaged hand; but the rower, after one mute,reproachful glance, rowed on. Mrs. Carteret's strength grew less andless. The child became heavy as lead. Herself floating in the water, asthough it were her native element, she could no longer support thechild. Lower and lower it sank,--she was powerless to save it or toaccompany it,--until, gasping wildly for breath, it threw up its littlehands and sank, the cruel water gurgling over its head,--when she awokewith a start and a chill, and lay there trembling for several minutesbefore she heard little Dodie in his crib, breathing heavily.

  She rose softly, went to the crib, and changed the child's position toan easier one. He breathed more freely, and she went back to bed, butnot to sleep.

  She had tried to put aside the distressing questions raised by thediscovery of her father's will and the papers accompanying it. Whyshould she be burdened with such a responsibility, at this late day,when the touch of time had well-nigh healed these old sores? Surely, Godhad put his curse not alone upon the slave, but upon the stealer of men!With other good people she had thanked Him that slavery was no more, andthat those who once had borne its burden upon their consciences couldstand erect and feel that they themselves were free. The weed had beencut down, but its roots remained, deeply imbedded in the soil, to springup and trouble a new generation. Upon her weak shoulders was placed theburden of her father's weakness, her father's folly. It was left to herto acknowledge or not this shameful marriage and her sister's rights intheir father's estate.

  Balancing one consideration against another, she had almost decidedthat she might ignore this tie. To herself, Olivia Merkell,--OliviaCarteret,--the stigma of base birth would have meant social ostracism,social ruin, the averted face, the finger of pity or of scorn. All thetraditional weight of public disapproval would have fallen upon her asthe unhappy fruit of an unblessed union. To this other woman it couldhave had no such significance,--it had been the lot of her race. Tothem, twenty-five years before, sexual sin had never been imputed asmore than a fault. She had lost nothing by her supposed illegitimacy;she would gain nothing by the acknowledgment of her mother's marriage.

  On the other hand, what would be the effect of this revelation upon Mrs.Carteret herself? To have it known that her father had married a negresswould only be less dreadful than to have it appear that he had committedsome terrible crime. It was a crime now, by the laws of every SouthernState, for white and colored persons to intermarry. She shuddered beforethe possibility that at some time in the future some person, none toowell informed, might learn that her father had married a colored woman,and might assume that she, Olivia Carteret, or her child, had sprungfrom this shocking _mesalliance_,--a fate to which she would willinglyhave preferred death. No, this marriage must never be made known; thesecret should remain buried forever in her own heart!

  But there still remained the question of her father's property and herfather's will. This woman was her father's child,--of that there couldbe no doubt, it was written in her features no less than in her father'swill. As his lawful child,--of which, alas! there could also be noquestion,--she was entitled by law to half his estate. Mrs. Carteret'sproblem had sunk from the realm of sentiment to that of material things,which, curiously enough, she found much more difficult. For, while thenegro, by the traditions of her people, was barred from the world ofsentiment, his rights of property were recognized. The question hadbecome, with Mrs. Carteret, a question of _meum_ and _tuum_. Had thegirl Janet been poor, ignorant, or degraded, as might well have been herfate, Mrs. Carteret might have felt a vicarious remorse for her aunt'ssuppression of the papers; but fate had compensated Janet for the loss;she had been educated, she had married well; she had not suffered forlack of the money of which she had been defrauded, and did not need itnow. She had a child, it is true, but this child's career would be socircumscribed by the accident of color that too much wealth would onlybe a source of unhappiness; to her own child, on the contrary, it wouldopen every door of life.

  It would be too lengthy a task to follow the mind and conscience of thismuch-tried lady in their intricate workings upon this difficult problem;for she had a mind as logical as any woman's, and a conscience which shewished to keep void of offense. She had to confront a situationinvolving the element of race, upon which the moral standards of herpeople were hopelessly confused. Mrs. Carteret reached the conclusion,ere daylight dawned, that she would be silent upon the subject of herfather's second marriage. Neither party had wished it known,--neitherJulia nor her father,--and she would respect her father's wishes. To actotherwise would be to defeat his will, to make known what he hadcarefully concealed, and to give Janet a claim of title to one half herfather's estate, while he had only meant her to have the ten thousanddollars named in the will.

  By the same reasoning, she must carry out her father's will in respectto this bequest. Here there was another difficulty. The mininginvestment into which they had entered shortly after the birth of littleDodie had tied up so much of her property that it would have beendifficult to procure ten thousand dollars immediately; while a demandfor half the property at once would mean bankruptcy and ruin. Moreover,upon what ground could she offer her sister any sum of money whatever?So sudden a change of heart, after so many years of silence, would raisethe presumption of some right on the part of Janet in her father'sestate. Suspicion once aroused, it might be possible to trace thishidden marriage, and establish it by legal proof. The marriage onceverified, the claim for half the estate could not be denied. She couldnot plead her father's will to the contrary, for this would be toacknowledge the suppression of the will, in itself a criminal act.

  There was, however, a way of escape. This hospital which had recentlybeen opened was the personal property of her sister's husband. Some timein the future, when their investments matured, she would present to thehospital a sum of money equal to the amount her father had meant hiscolored daughter to have. Thus indirectly both her father's will and herown conscience would be satisfied.

  Mrs. Carteret had reached this comfortable conclusion, and was fallingasleep, when her attention was again drawn by her child's breathing. Shetook it in her own arms and soon fell asleep.

  "By the way, Olivia," said the major, when leaving the house nextmorning for the office, "if you have any business down town to-day,transact it this forenoon. Under no circumstances must you or Clara orthe baby leave the house after midday."

  "Why, what's the matter, Phil?"

  "Nothing to alarm you, except that there may be a little politicaldemonstration which may render the streets unsafe. You are not to sayanything about it where the servants might hear."

  "Will there be any danger for you, Phil?" she demanded with alarm.

  "Not the slightest, Olivia
dear. No one will be harmed; but it is bestfor ladies and children to stay indoors."

  Mrs. Carteret's nerves were still more or less unstrung from her mentalstruggles of the night, and the memory of her dream came to her like adim foreboding of misfortune. As though in sympathy with its mother'sfeelings, the baby did not seem as well as usual. The new nurse was byno means an ideal nurse,--Mammy Jane understood the child much better.If there should be any trouble with the negroes, toward which herhusband's remark seemed to point,--she knew the general politicalsituation, though not informed in regard to her husband's plans,--shewould like to have Mammy Jane near her, where the old nurse might beprotected from danger or alarm.

  With this end in view she dispatched the nurse, shortly after breakfast,to Mammy Jane's house in the negro settlement on the other side of thetown, with a message asking the old woman to come immediately to Mrs.Carteret's. Unfortunately, Mammy Jane had gone to visit a sick woman inthe country, and was not expected to return for several hours.