Southern Magic Christmas

by Amy Boyles

  “Please, let me help.”

  Axel’s mom stepped forward. Cookie edged back. She slipped and landed on her spine. “Ah! Oh my God! I can’t move! I’ve thrown out my back!”

  Cookie Mobley raised her arms in a pose that reminded me more of a hallelujah choir than a woman in a Life Alert commercial screaming, Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

  I had to stop myself from laughing.

  Axel strode forward. “Let me help you.”

  Cookie made the sign of the cross as if she was warding off a vampire. “I know what you are! Stay away from me. Haven’t y’all caused enough trouble? I’ll have to see a witch chiropractor now! And there’s only a few days before Christmas!”

  “First of all,” Axel said coolly, “I’m a werewolf, not a vampire. Secondly, I can cure your back.”

  “You’ll probably make it worse.”

  This was when Betty strode up looking all Betty Craple-ish. Anyone who was anyone knew you didn’t mess with my grandmother. She ran this town.

  “Cookie, you know good and well that this entire thing was an accident. If you hadn’t been making a fuss about the wishing snowman, none of this would’ve happened.”

  Cookie lay on the ground like a slug.

  Axel’s mother reached for her again. Cookie swatted her away. “Stop trying to touch me! I’m going to sue you! You’ve ruined my coat, I can’t move and my Christmas is ruined! I need Ellis! Where’s my husband?”

  “I’ll get your husband for you, all right,” Betty said drily.

  She thumbed her nose, and the next thing I knew, a man far on the other side of forty stood in the middle of the street wearing nothing more than a towel around his waist, gripping a loofah sponge in his hand.

  “Here he is.” Betty’s eyes sparkled with laughter.

  I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth to stop myself from cackling.

  “Ellis,” Cookie screamed. She glared at Betty. “How dare you bring him here.”

  Betty shrugged. “Make up your mind on what you want, Cookie. Do you want your husband to help you or not?”

  Cookie flailed her arms. She looked like a beetle that couldn’t right itself. “Ellis, help me! I’ve been attacked by a giant redneck vehicle. It was a monster. I almost died.”

  Ellis, for what it was worth, took the entire situation in stride. He reached for Cookie, grabbed her hand and tried to lift her.

  But Cookie wasn’t going anywhere. All she succeeded in doing was yanking Ellis onto the ground atop her.

  “Ellis, get up! You’re crushing me!”

  Betty dusted her hands. “Looks like this is under control.”

  Axel crossed to his traumatized-looking mother and pried her from the scene of almost carnage.

  “Mom, I want you to meet someone.”

  She blinked, looking like she was trying to remember where she was. Axel gently steered her toward me.

  I’m not going to lie, y’all. Butterflies the size of zombies collided in my stomach. I was so nervous my teeth clacked. I mean, this was Axel’s mom—his mother.

  Axel and I had endured our share of strife in our short relationship, but he was the only man I wanted to be with and I was the only woman he wanted, so at least we were on the same page about that. But the fact that I was about to meet his parents made me feel one short stop away from vomiting on my feet.

  But I could get through it.

  “Mom, this is Pepper. Pepper, this is my mom, Karen, and my father, Roger.”

  Roger pumped my hand. Karen pulled me into a bear hug. It was the sort of hug you fall into and then the person rocks you back and forth. Back and forth.

  “Pepper, it is simply wonderful to finally get to meet you,” Karen said into my hair. “Axel has told us all about you. Now let me get a good look at you.”

  She held me at arm’s length and shot a secretive smile to Axel. “Simply gorgeous.”

  Axel put an arm around me and tugged me away. “I like to think so.”

  Karen let her back fall onto Roger’s chest. “She’s so beautiful. What a handsome couple they make.”

  “Did you have a good trip?” I said.

  “Oh yes, it was wonderful.” Karen beamed. “Just the best ever. Ran into snow north of here, but that’s to be expected.” She glanced around the town, her eyes filling with wonder. “It’s been years since we’ve been to Magnolia Cove. It’s just as breathtaking now as it was then.”

  “I like it here,” Axel said.

  “Oh Ellis, don’t grab me there. Hurry up! Let’s get inside before my fur freezes!”

  Ellis slipped and stumbled as he dragged Cookie to their house. The angry woman managed to shoot Betty a nasty look. “The homeowner’s association will hear about this, Betty Craple! They will hear about it!”

  “I look forward to it,” Betty shouted back. She crossed to Karen and introduced herself. “For a moment I was hoping you were going to run over Cookie Mobley. It would serve her right. All she does is complain and moan every chance she gets.”

  “Oh no,” Karen said, “we feel so bad about what happened. I think I’ll do something nice for her. Perhaps a pie?”

  Betty shook her head. “Don’t bother with her. Any nice thing you do will come back to haunt you. Trust me. She’s a nasty peach, that one. It’s a wonder no one’s killed her before now.”

  “Don’t say things like that.” I watched as Cookie and Ellis slid across the snow. “Seems like we’ve had more murders in Magnolia Cove lately than we know what to do with.”

  “Oh really?” Karen shot Roger a frightened look.

  Amelia swooped in. She smacked a pen against a clipboard and lifted a sheet of paper pinned to it.

  “What Pepper means to say is, we’ve been playing murder mystery night too much lately.” She laughed awkwardly. It sounded like a bird had swooped into her throat and gotten stuck. “All that murder mystery stuff seems a bit too real at times. Like when we get out the rubber knives and pretend that we’re going to knife each other in the back? Very realistic.”

  As Amelia spoke, the color drained from Karen’s face while her eyes widened until they covered most of her head.

  “Okay.” Cordelia swooped in to rescue the situation. She hooked her arm around Amelia’s elbow. “Wow. Are you feeling tired? I think all the work today has damaged your brain.”

  “What? I feel fine.”

  Cordelia tugged Amelia away. “All right. Well. That’s great. Glad you’re feeling well, but we’re just going to go over here for a bit.”

  Amelia tapped the clipboard. “Don’t forget, Pepper. We’re all on tomorrow for the house tours. You, me and Cordelia are giving the first one at six p.m.”

  “What?” Cordelia and I said.

  Amelia shrank. “Sorry, I forgot to tell y’all. Surprise! We’re giving the Christmas house tours.”

  With Axel’s parents staring at me I couldn’t exactly throw a hissy fit, now could I? So I smiled and spoke through cemented teeth.

  “That’s great. I’m looking forward to it. I suppose we’re doing Cookie’s house.”

  “Yep, she’s on the list.”

  I turned back to Roger and Karen. Karen linked her arm in mine and smiled. “Pepper, I’m just so happy to get to know you. Axel has talked so much about you.” She shook out her bun. Long hair cascaded down her back. “Now. I’ve got couples massages planned for us at the Witch Spa. It’s the perfect way to warm up, don’t you think?”

  I grinned at Roger. “That sounds like fun. You’ll enjoy that after your long trip.”

  Karen swatted her husband playfully. “Pepper, the massages aren’t for Roger and me. They’re for the two of us, so we can get to know one another.”

  I swear, y’all, I know the look of absolute fright couldn’t have been hidden from my face. Couples massages with my boyfriend’s mother? Did Karen know how those massages worked? It was for couples, not friends.

  I glanced at Axel. He gave me a sheepish grin. I could see I wasn’t goi
ng to get any help from him.

  “They’re in fifteen minutes,” Karen prodded.

  But you know, whatever. I was going to roll with it. “That sounds great. Do you need anything, or do you want to head over to the spa?”

  She flipped her long, wavy hair over one shoulder. “I don’t need anything but you. Don’t bring your purse. This is on me.”

  Karen linked her arm in mine and tugged me toward the row of shops lining Bubbling Cauldron. “Come on, Pepper. This is going to be so much fun.”

  Y’all, I didn’t want to argue. It might not be fun, but it was definitely going to be something.

  THREE

  “So Axel really cares about you, Pepper. I just think it’s wonderful.”

  I was face-deep in a headrest. The masseuse’s fingers were working a particularly stubborn knot in my shoulder. The whole place smelled of lavender and goodness. Could you bottle that? Goodness? Well, if you could, these witches had done it. The room was dark, quiet, and Karen wanted to discuss my relationship with her son.

  While I was having the best massage of my life.

  “Oh, um,” was all I managed.

  “I know he flaked out on you a little while ago.”

  She knew about that? Truth was, Axel had come half an inch from ending my life. Not on purpose. Not on purpose. So that we’re clear. He didn’t wake up an ax murderer or anything. He simply went full-on werewolf. It wasn’t his fault. The whole werewolf thing is his nature. He couldn’t help it.

  Anyway, so yes, Axel almost killed me. Right after that he freaked out and left town. He didn’t call me for weeks. But I held out hope he would return.

  He did. His hair was a little longer, his body was a little leaner and he’d sold both his vehicles and purchased an old Land Rover, but other than that he was the same Axel. We hadn’t talked about where he’d gone during that time.

  “He came to us.” Karen filled in that blank like an expert. “Among other places,” she added cryptically.

  I raised my head. “He saw you?”

  “Relax,” the masseuse said. I wanted to tell her she could go relax, but I dropped my head into the rest.

  “He searched us out, told Roger and I what happened. You know, sometimes you just need your mother and father.”

  Too bad I didn’t have either one. But I had Betty and my cousins. I was loving my new family.

  “Axel explained he’d almost hurt you.”

  “You could say that.” I exhaled as the masseuse trailed her hands down both sides of my spine.

  “The werewolf side of Axel haunts him. It haunts his father, too. But we’ve always managed it. Wherever we are when the full moon hits, he gets chained and then I work a sleeping spell on him. Usually it settles Roger enough that he remains calm most of the night. He doesn’t necessarily sleep, but he’s not as difficult to deal with.”

  “A sleeping spell?”

  “Yes, I mix herbs and sing a song and it helps sedate him.”

  I wondered if the song would work on Axel. “Have you tried it on your son?”

  “Axel always said he didn’t want to be put under like that. What if he was needed as a werewolf?”

  “But he can’t be controlled. I’ve tried several times to reach him and talk to him when he’s the wolf. It always starts out fine but then dies a slow, painful death.”

  Surprise filled Karen’s voice. “You’ve talked to him when he’s the wolf?”

  “Time to roll over,” the masseuse said.

  I shifted myself as she raised the blanket for me. I met Karen’s gaze. Her hair was in a sexy tangle. I wondered if mine looked the same.

  “You can talk to Axel?” she said again.

  The way she was prodding made me uncomfortable. Now I wasn’t so sure I should tell her.

  “Um. Yes. Well, I have before. It never lasts long.”

  “But if you can reach him once, maybe you can hold it again. I’m able to reach Roger. We stay connected all night.”

  Well, that was cool, and I was incredibly jealous. “So the calming helps connect the two of you?”

  “Mmm. That and other things.”

  The way she said other things made me think it wasn’t the time to ask what those other things were. “Axel doesn’t want me to try to reach him. It never works, so he doesn’t see the point.”

  “Maybe one day it will work out.”

  I doubted it. But there was no point focusing on something I couldn’t do anything about at the moment anyway.

  I sighed as the masseuse dug her knuckles into the ball of my foot. Letting Karen treat me to a massage was the best idea ever. I’d never had one before, but I thought I might want to have one every day for the rest of my life.

  Not kidding.

  We finished up, and I headed back to the house while Karen started toward the RV, which was still parked by Bubbling Cauldron. In fact, it was sort of stationed right in front of the snowmen and hadn’t moved.

  I had a feeling this was going to be a problem. If Cookie Mobley realized the motor home hadn’t moved, she’d have a fit.

  Karen just smiled and waved as she headed inside. “What’s this?”

  I veered toward her to get a better look. A large red envelope had been tacked to the side of the vehicle. Even though my heart sank, I plastered on a huge grin. “Maybe it’s a welcome note.”

  But I doubted it.

  Karen ripped the envelope. “What?”

  It was a ticket, in fact. The signage couldn’t be misunderstood.

  THIS VEHICLE BREAKS CODE NUMBER 110 OF MAGNOLIA COVE. NO LARGE VEHICLES ARE ALLOWED TO PARK ON THE GRASS BY BUBBLING CAULDRON ROAD. YOU WILL BE SUBJECT TO HAVING THE VEHICLE IMPOUNDED.

  Signed,

  THE MAGNOLIA COVE HOUSING ASSOCIATION

  Karen’s face crimsoned. “Roger!”

  Axel’s father stumbled from the RV. “Yes, my love?”

  She thrust the paper toward him. “Did you see who left this?”

  He fixed his glasses in a rather studious manner and climbed down the steps. “What are you talking about?”

  “This!”

  “No…I didn’t see who left it.”

  Karen’s eyes narrowed. “I have an idea who it was.”

  I knew exactly who had done it, but I was staying out of the whole knot.

  Axel stepped out from the RV. He and his dad must’ve been visiting. It was Christmas, after all. He raked his fingers through his hair. “What’s going on?”

  Before anyone could answer, a tow truck rumbled down the road. The thing was as large as a semitruck. It was painted black and reminded me more of a monster truck than one that towed. Gold letters painted on the side read:

  WITCHAWAY TOWING, INC.

  The driver hopped out of the truck. “Got a call about an RV parked illegally.”

  Okay, looked like I would have to step in. Karen and Roger had just arrived in Magnolia Cove. They didn’t need their first impression of my town to be tainted by one Cookie Mobley and her anger parade. Someone needed to cram some Christmas spirit up a certain orifice in Cookie’s body, if I did say so myself.

  I placed myself between the truck and the RV. “I know you’ve been called, but we don’t need your services. This RV is parked just fine.”

  Mr. Truck Driver, whose name tag read Bubba, tapped a clipboard. “Says here I’ve got to tow it. I can’t ignore orders. That’s what I’m paid to do.”

  I flared my arms. “You’ll be towing this RV over my dead body.”

  “Then he’ll be doing it over your dead body!”

  Freaking Cookie Mobley strode across the beautiful Christmas scene filled with snowman and reindeer. She wore a neck brace and was followed by a beagle who yipped at everyone’s legs.

  “Yip yip! Yip yip!” The beagle ran up to Roger. “Yip yip!” It jumped into Karen’s personal space. “Yip yip!” It hiked its leg like it might relieve itself on Axel. “Yip yip!”

  Then it beelined toward me. I’d never kicked a dog, but this mig
ht be my first.

  “Yip—”

  I snapped my fingers. “Dog, you yip at me one more time and you’ll regret it.”

  The beagle tucked tail and ran to Cookie. She scooped the creature into her arms and dug her nose in its white fur.

  Anger flamed in her eyes. “How dare you threaten Arsenal.”

  “Is that the dog’s name? Arsenal?” I shot a look to Axel. He covered his mouth with his hand.

  Cookie lifted her nose. “Of course that’s his name. Killer was too pedestrian, so we named him Arsenal.”

  The truck driver tapped the clipboard. “As warm and fuzzy as all this Christmas cheer is, I’ve got a job to do. I gotta get this here RV towed. Now are y’all going to stand back and allow me to do that?”

  I marched to Cookie. “Call it off.”

  She sniffed. “I will not. That vehicle almost killed me. It’s a menace to Magnolia Cove. It must be towed away. Besides, it ruins the Christmas view.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Call. It. Off.”

  Her eyes narrowed to slitty wedges of death. “I. Will. Not.”

  Axel sidled up. He put on his most handsome grin. “Cookie, I know you didn’t get off on the right foot with my folks, but all of this is a misunderstanding. Whatever damages we owe you, we’ll pay. They’ll move the RV to my place.”

  She scoffed and pulled Arsenal closer to her chest. “If they were going to move it, why haven’t they done so already?”

  He placed a hand over his heart. “It’s my fault.” The smile on his face was delicious. Axel had even thickened his accent. The man oozed Southern charm. “I was in there talking to my dad and time got the best of us. Please, just let us move the RV, and we’ll make this situation right however we can.”

  I’m not going to lie, if a man as hot as Axel had promised to right a situation, I’m pretty sure no pure thoughts would’ve entered my mind.

  Unfortunately I had a feeling that Cookie’s mind lived on the same warped track mine did.

  I really didn’t want to get into a fistfight with her over Axel. Let’s hope it didn’t come to that.