Sins of Omission

by T S McKinney

  “What in the hell is Shibari? Or do I even want to know?” Damn, at this point I didn’t care. On the cruise, I’d already half convinced myself that I was more than willing to give the BDSM kink a try if Eli was ever interested. Unless this Shibari shit was worse than the little bit of BDSM porn I’d watched over the years, I wanted to give it a try. The cruise…being with Eli…had brought out of a side of me that I hadn’t known existed.

  “Shibari is a form of rope play—it’s damn near a work of art. Your body would be the canvas and Eli would be the artist. I’ve done some research after talking with Eli. It’s absolutely beautiful and doesn’t have to be painful or uncomfortable at all.” He grinned widely and added, “Orrrr, it can be…which would be right up my alley.”

  Rope play? Fuck. All the times he’d tied my hands and legs or just held my hands together…

  I felt like shit. I’d hurt him again. Why did I always hurt the man I loved?

  “One more question, and I’m ready to admit defeat.”

  “Thank you, Jeezus! Ask away!”

  “What was that man doing at Eli’s apartment? He told us he was there to discuss a business transaction. Do you know what it was?”

  “Yep. He was selling all the stuff in his playroom,” Baker answered. “He was giving up a very important part of himself in order to make you happy, Ari. I’ve talked to him for hours about it. All he wants to do is make you happy. He has the same look in his eye that Seth gets when he talks about me or if I’m talking about Seth. It’s love. It’s the same damn look you have in your eyes right now. Come on, man. End this sequester and let us all be happy. We can double date and shit.”

  I took a deep breath, remembering what happened the last time I put myself out there—disaster city.

  Eli was worth it. Whatever happened, Eli was worth it.

  “I have an idea,” I told Baker. “But I’ll need yours and Seth’s help.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Eli

  Two weeks. I knew that Baker or Seth had told Ari that I’d turned in my notice and would be leaving in two weeks, but I’d not heard a peep from Ari—I guess that told me all I needed to know. The last month had been horrible, both physically and emotionally. Knowing Ari was so close, right within my grasp, made it damn near impossible to not reach for him, beg him to forgive me and take me back. Before, when we’d been separated, I’d managed to get through every day, because the knowledge there was a possibility of us having a future together loomed ahead of me. Now, that possibility was gone—an opportunity lost due to my own insecurities and half-truths.

  Damn, I could still hear his laughter or see the mischief gleaming in his beautiful jade eyes. There was no doubt in my mind, I’d hear them echoing in my lonely mind for the rest of my life, always reminding me of what I’d lost.

  I looked around my lonely suite. I’d packed a few boxes of clothes and personal belongings but planned on selling everything else, along with the penthouse. I didn’t intend to return. Ever. It would be too painful. Every piece of furniture, furry rug, or decoration had been selected with Ari in mind. Well, almost everything. The playroom, which now sat empty, had been decorated with my own enjoyment in mind, never once considering what made me happy might not be the same for Ari. Sure, I’d fantasized often about what we would do in our playroom, but it looked like fantasies was all it would ever be.

  My doorbell rang and a blast of hope skyrocketed through my body. As far as I knew, only Ari and Sam knew the security code to get into my apartment. Maybe McKenzie, but he’d already had the shipment loaded and left to return to Tennessee, so it wouldn’t be him. Wishing I’d taken more time with my appearance, I raced to the door and flung it open. Instead of finding the man I loved, I was greeted with Seth, Baker, and Samantha, who didn’t look happy at all.

  Sam frowned and pointed at Seth and Baker. “I only let them up because they both threatened to quit and while that might seem like a fabulous idea at the moment, with you leaving, Landon on assignment, and Ari acting like a hermit, I couldn’t really afford to lose them as well.” She eyed both of them. “That, of course, doesn’t mean they won’t be gone at the nearest opportunity.” Both of them rolled their eyes as she looked at her watch in irritation. “My date to party will be here in seven minutes and it takes a good fifteen to cover this body with leather!” She started to turn away but looked back and said, “I’ve called for the company limousine, so we can all ride together.”

  Party? They were insane if they thought I was going to any party with them! Since my plane didn’t leave before ten o’clock in the morning, I still had plenty of time to stare at the walls, rehash all the things I’d done wrong, and feel sorry for myself. I’d be damned if I let them interrupt me…plus there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Ari might show up at the last minute.

  I started to slam the door in their faces, but Seth was too quick. His boot blocked the opening before I could get it closed.

  “Forget it, assholes. I’m not going to any party with you all. Not tonight, especially. Forget about it and leave me alone.”

  Baker frowned. “But it’s your party, Eli. It’s your going-away party. You can’t miss that. It would just be weird if we had a party for you and you didn’t show up. The entire office is already there, waiting on the man of honor to make an appearance.”

  “Fuck off.”

  I couldn’t believe how callous the two of them were being regarding my feelings. The three of them, especially my sister, knew damn well I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate any fucking thing. Ever again, if I was being honest with myself. “Not gonna happen, guys. The party will be much better without me there anyway. For some strange reason, it appears that I’m not in the partying mood,” I added sarcastically.

  Seth crossed his arms over his chest, as if that would intimidate me, and growled, “It’s your party Eli. Don’t be an ass about this. Make an appearance, stay for fifteen minutes, and come back home and mope until it’s time for you to skip town with your tail tucked between your legs. You were welcomed by not only Baker and me, but the entire team. It’s bullshit for you to not take a few minutes of your time to show your appreciation.”

  I shrugged. “Talk about what an asshole I am after I’m gone, Seth. I’m not going, regardless of what the right or wrong thing is in this situation. Hell guys, talk about me tonight at the party. I couldn’t honestly care less what anybody in this town thinks about me.” That was a lie. I cared what Seth, Baker, and Sam thought. More than anything, I cared what Ari thought.

  The problem was, I knew what Ari thought about me. He hated me.

  I loved him.

  Baker stepped up. “Ari has promised to stop by for ten minutes as long as you don’t try to confront him over what happened. Surely you want to see him at least one more time, right?”

  It felt like the floor fell out from beneath my feet when Baker said Ari would be there. “Hell, yeah, I’d give anything to see him again. Anything.”

  “I don’t think you were supposed to tell that, Baker,” Seth grumbled.

  “Punish me later,” Baker quipped. “Go do something with your hair and put on some leather, Eli. You look like a hot mess.”

  “Leather?” I asked in disbelief. “There’s no way Ari’s really going if it’s one of the kink clubs.”

  “Ari’s going for a few minutes, Eli. Unlike the two of you, I don’t lie or dance all around it. If I say he’s going to be there, he’ll be there. Now, hurry the hell up.” He looked at his watch. “I should have been drinking twenty minutes ago.”

  I wanted to believe. I needed to believe.

  “Give me a few minutes,” I answered, hoping against hope they couldn’t hear the way my heart thundered with excitement. One more time. One more look. One more opportunity to memorize his beauty. I knew it wasn’t much, but I’d take it.

  *****

  We’d been at the club for over thirty minutes and I hadn’t seen the first sign of Ari. Nothing. Not a hint, scent, or
sighting. My anxiety level rose with each passing minute—taking an extra nudge every time somebody laughed about something. Laughing? Damn, my heart was breaking and these people, who called themselves my friends and my freakin’ sister, were laughing? What. The. Fuck?

  I looked around the club, making sure he wasn’t there and just hiding from me, and noticed that the activity for the night was action-packed with the exception of the center stage. People usually vied for the stage of honor, but tonight it was curtained off and nobody seemed to bother with it. Probably, with my rotten luck, something that Seth and Baker had planned just to rub it into my face. As I sat and pondered it, I convinced myself that was exactly what tonight was all about. Their devotion to Ari had caused them to strike back at me…to punish me for hurting their friend.

  Fuck. Enough was enough. I was leaving. Contrary to what my ‘friends’ thought, this wasn’t a good idea. Seeing him one last time would have been a dream come true, but I would hold the cruise memories near my heart for the rest of my life. Sitting my soda down, I said, “I’m out. Thanks for coming. Great to work with all of you. Come visit me, sis.”

  Nope—none of my words sounded believable but I didn’t care.

  As I stood up, I looked toward Baker and Seth and noticed a smirk on both their faces. I’d always suspected Seth wasn’t my biggest fan but had considered Baker to be a friend—looked like that was yet another mistake in judgement I’d made.

  Sam grabbed my arm. “No, Eli, stay a bit longer. It’ll be months before I’m able to get away from the office to see you again. A few more minutes…just for me?”

  Baker said, “Nah, Sam, he’s good. Let him go if that’s what he wants to do. My guess is that it’s time anyway.” He pointed to his watch.

  “Love you, brother. I always have and I always will. Both of us living side by side in the building has been a dream of mine for years. I enjoyed the time we had.” She leaned in a kissed my cheek. “Forget the past and focus only on the future,” she whispered in my ear.

  Walking away was tough. Walking away like this, with so many questions, was tougher. I wished I wasn’t such a fucking coward—that I wasn’t too afraid of taking what belonged to me, the way I’d promised in this very club all those weeks ago. I’d come here for one thing and one thing only—to claim my man. Disgusted with myself, I spun around and ran directly into a warm body.

  Ari stood in front of me, wearing nothing short of the sexiest, motherfucking leather outfit I’d ever seen in my life. His silky hair was blond again—no hint of the brunette he’d sported on the cruise. A leather harness criss-crossed his chest, accentuating every fine line, dip, and muscled curve. Thick leather cuffs were wrapped around his wrists and also around the muscle right above his elbow. His abs were completely bare and looked good enough to make my mouth water with desire. If I wasn’t careful, drool would be dripping down my chin. The lower portion of his body was covered in a barely-there pair of leather shorts and chunky black boots that came up to his calves. I know my mouth dropped open for a few seconds before I stammered, “What…what…are you doing here?”

  That sounded incredibly stupid and I quickly opened my mouth to say something else, but he stopped me before I could make a squeak.

  “I’m here because I got tired of waiting, Eli. I’m old enough now…and I’m yours.”

  His cocky response was a close rendition to the very words I’d spoken to him during our confrontation at Baker and Seth’s wedding. Looking at his arrogant expression, I could venture a guess that our roles were opposite this time around. I looked shocked and terrified while he looked confident and determined. Damn, I wouldn’t have thought he could ever look sexier than he had on the cruise, but he’d just proven me wrong.

  Unsure of what exactly was going on, I simply stood there, looking like an idiot.

  Ari’s confidence never wavered. “I have a scene planned for us tonight.” He looked me up and down. “Think you’re up to entertaining the crowd?” His eyes sparkled. “And our friends, of course. I booked us a spot. Center stage.” He held out his hand to me.

  I fucking took it.

  My heart pounded.

  No, it ached. It ached from the love and excitement.

  Our entire table, which included my traitorous sister, Baker, and Seth, started whooping and clapping as Ari led me toward the center stage. Right before we stepped up, the curtain fell away, revealing a spiderweb of ropes…like the ones that used to be in my playroom. It looked strong and sturdy, perfectly tied and large enough to hold two men. Green rope, closely resembling the rope I’d used on the ship, lay in bundles atop a rolling table next to the web.

  My legs trembled as I took the first step, nervous because there was so much we needed to say to one another, but overwhelmed with love and lust. Ari, on the other hand, maintained his cocky sashay as he climbed the steps in front of me. It was then that I noticed the zipper that ran down the crease of his ass on the skin-tight leather shorts. Holy fuck! All I’d have to do would be to give that zipper a yank and slip my cock into his ass—making and marking him as mine in front of everyone.

  When he reached the top of the platform, he gave his ass a shake and asked, “Do you like?”

  I moved up to stand next to him and answered, “I love, angel. You know this.” Using both my hands, I forced him to look me in the eye. “This isn’t something you have to do, Arizona. I’ll love you with or without the bondage. I should have been forthcoming with my kinks. I’m sorry.”

  “Focus on the future, lover. Both of us have to learn to let go of the past and all our mistakes. We both made ‘em. They no longer matter. You’re mine and I’m yours. If you do something tonight that I don’t like, I’ll say ‘Havoc.’ Unless you hear that…give me all you’ve got.”

  “You’re certain? I could never forgive myself if you did something just because you thought it was what I wanted from you, instead of what you desired.”

  “Don’t ask me again. Just because I’m being nice doesn’t mean I’m still not sassier than sin and have a short fuse when I get frustrated. If you make me turn the tables on you, tie you to the web and do God only knows what to your beautiful ass, I don’t want to hear any complaining.” He reached around and smacked my ass for good measure. “Let’s put on a show. This is our two favorite things combined—exhibitionism and ropes.” Leaning up, he kissed me. “We fit perfectly.”

  “You haven’t really ever seen me in Dom mode, angel—maybe just a touch of it on the cruise when you acted like a brat. I’m worried that it will…not be for you.”

  He literally rolled his eyes at me. “’Havoc’ is my word. If you hear it, stop what you’re doing. Baker spent a lot of time explaining the differences in what you enjoy and what he and Seth do. The thing is, I’m pretty sure I love everything about you, Eli. There’s a lot of you I haven’t had the pleasure of learning about yet. Don’t make me wait any longer. Trust me, Eli. I’ll be honest and tell you if it isn’t for me.”

  “I’m gonna want to fuck you once I get you tied,” I told him, not wanting to hold anything back. “Seeing you in my ropes will bring the Dom out in me in a way that will demand a fuck…a hard fuck.” I felt like I needed to give him every opportunity to back out. Hell, he’d hidden from me for weeks and now he was here, ready to sub for me in front of a crowd? It seemed too good to believe.

  “Why do you think I’m wearing the shorts with the zipper on my ass crack, Eli? I’ll tell you why—I want you to fuck me once you get me tied. That’s the plan.”

  I knew my eyes darkened with lust when he answered me. Every ounce of Dom in me screamed that I take over and make Ari mine…again. Forever. With one last touch of softness, I leaned in and said, “I never told you why I call you angel—it’s because you have the most beautiful, long lashes I’ve ever seen in my life. When we were apart, I’d dream about you and when I woke up, I would swear I could feel the soft flutter of your lashes on my body. There were times when it was the only thing that kept me going.�
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  He looked at me, and I could see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “I love you, Eli,” he whispered and gave my lips a soft kiss. “I love that you can be sweet and soft, especially when dealing with me.” He blinked away the tears. “But I also love that you can be rough and hard, especially when dealing with me. How ‘bout we give these people a show?”

  “With our friends here?”

  “Hell, no!” he answered. “I made them promise to leave as soon as you stepped up here with me!”

  Those words and the look in Ari’s eyes were the only encouragement I needed. I pushed his lean body against the ropes of the giant spider web and then forced his arms above his head and spread wide. With my ropes, I began to decorate his beautiful body. As I worked, I used a Boola Boola knot on the rope. Not only was this a beautiful knot, it was designed to complete the wrap and not collapse around the object. It was a basic knot…and I was so excited that I knew I should probably stick with the basics. I needed to be inside him. I needed to claim him as mine.

  Since he faced the web, I did a Tazuki, criss-cross harness, on his back. Each knot teased a sensitive spot of flesh. Some knots would cause his entire body to shiver and a soft purr would escape between his parted lips. He had, apparently, spent a lot of time discussing things with Baker. His eyes were closed as he focused on nothing except the feel of the rope caressing him. His breathing was even and relaxed and delightful goose bumps coated his skin. As I roped him, I allowed my fingers to trace playful paths up and down his arms and across his back.

  When his arms were restrained and the harness across his back perfectly tied, I dropped to my knees…and came eye to eye with the zipper. While it wasn’t necessary at this point in our scene, I couldn’t stop myself from tugging the zipper down. Ari, my perfect sweetheart, opened his legs wide without me even asking. The zipper started at the top of his crack and went all the way around to about three inches below the waistband. With very little effort, I was able to release his cock and balls from the leather enclosure. Fuck, he looked gorgeous.