She went to her knees, face level with his groin, sending a stab of heat to his belly. She looked up at him, hesitant, as if she needed permission. The anticipation was going to kill him. He wrapped her hair around his hand and guided himself into her mouth. She paused and then moved her lips along his shaft. Fuck, this felt so good. He bucked his hips, thrusting inside her mouth fast as she took him deeper each time. Trembling, he tried to control himself, desperate for this ecstasy to continue, but within a few seconds was coming inside her mouth as he called out her name.
She sat back and the sight of her, that naked body wet and spread before him as she swallowed his seed, was too much to bear. He pulled her by the shoulders so she stood, kissing her deep as her hips pulsed against his shaft. Holding her by the waist, he lifted her so she was off the floor. “Wrap your legs around me,” he moaned.
She did so, her core hot against his erection as he pressed her against the wall of the shower cubicle. He kept one hand at her hip to support her and snaked the other between them, stroking her nipple as he kissed her, relishing the shivers that spread through her body. She panted loud and squirmed, so responsive that it drove him wild. Now holding her hips with both hands, he supported her as he entered her with a strong thrust. He pushed into her again and again, desperate to make her his own. He wanted more, much more ... I must not do it. Yet his mouth moved to her neck. She moaned in anticipation, but he resisted.
“Lohan!” She cried out loud, her breath coming and going fast. Her hands were on his shoulders, nails digging in, the pain increasing his pleasure. He teleported her so he was on top of her on his bed, his body between her legs as he thrust deeper. It was still not enough. “Lohan…please,” she whimpered. She also needed more than this. He brought his mouth to the base of her neck, kissing her even as he tried to resist the blood lust. “Yes,” she whispered, her eyes half closed and lips parted. So beautiful. His teeth ached to be inside her, but if he took blood from her now, he would be bonded to a human, the resulting attachment making it difficult to be without her. She brought her hand to his head, pressing his mouth against her neck. “Do it, Lohan.”
I have to resist.
Yet he lost control, his fangs sinking into her flesh. Her head fell back and hips pressed against his body as she invited him further in. As he pushed into her, tasting her blood, the pleasure was so overwhelming that every damn muscle tightened up. When she screamed out in passion, asking him for more, he held her by the hips and lifted her so he could sink further. To have lived for centuries and yet not experienced such ecstasy. As he came inside her, hard, he sank his fangs even deeper into her neck until she was also coming.
If I take any more of her blood, she will be mine.
He would not kill her. Never. But a little more blood and she would be immortal. He could keep her here with him forever, and there would be no turning back for her…It took all his willpower to pull his fangs out. He had been so close…
When he lay on the bed, she turned to him, her fingers at her neck and expression confused. “Lohan? Don’t you want me?” His first reaction was anger because she still had a need for reassurance, but her expression was calm, and there was none of the misery or desperation that had been a part of her when they first met…merely a few hours ago?
He touched her face. “I do not wish for you to die.” Even if they were not bonded, he could not allow her death. “You have a lot to see and experience.”
She nodded. “I don’t want to die.” Her words brought him relief. “Not when I have so much to live for.”
“Now I would like to ask you for something.” It was an insane notion, but what had been sensible about this night? And they were already bonded. It was only one more step, and after centuries of living like this, he was due for a change.
She sat up on the bed, looking down at him. “What could I give you?”
Life.
He also sat, pulling her back against him. “You can choose to live”—he kissed her on the shoulder, wanting this so badly that he was scared to ask—“or I can drain more blood, until you turn.”
She shifted to look at his face. “Turn?”
He nodded. “Yes. You would become a vampire and be immortal, like me.” Please say yes. He yearned for this—for Rose—more than he ever had for anything. “If you become immortal, it means we can be together.”
She paused, uncertain. “But why? Why do you want this?”
“Because I love you.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. She was taken aback, but not as much as he was. Did he love her? Yes, because if this was not love, then nothing else could be.
Her eyes shone. “I also love you, Lohan.”
Her words sent relief flooding through him, but there was an uncertainty in her voice which marred his joy. Why was she sad when this had been her greatest desire? To have someone to love? “What is it, Rose?”
She kissed his lips. “I wish to live,” she said. “But as a human. I want to go back to my life. There is a lot I have not experienced…”
He refused to believe it. He had given her all her heart’s desires, bonded himself to her, yet she talked of returning to that wretched existence—the one that had led her to an isolated bridge in the middle of the night? An edge entered his voice. “I do not understand.”
She touched his face. “Please try, Lohan. I want to be with you, but I’m not ready to be immortal. I want to live the life I have missed out on.”
Why? Had he not given her all she wanted? What had those humans ever done for her, the ones she wished to return to? They would only hurt her. He rose from the bed in anger. “I will not let you go. We are bonded.”
“Bonded?”
“I took your blood while we made love, which means we share a bond, and it will be difficult for me to be without you.” He quelled the rage rising inside him. “It may be difficult for you to understand, but we are now destined to be together. You are mine.”
Her tone was soft. “I love you, more than anything—but you have to let me go…” What if he let her go, and she decided she did not want immortality? How many years might he spend in this mansion, waiting? “Lohan, I can’t even think about anything else before I fix my life, on my own. I need to know that I can make things right.” Why waste time fixing that miserable existence when a perfect life waited for her here? Damn these humans, they really were fucked up creatures. And I have just bonded myself to one. He lunged toward her, fangs bared in frustration, and she shifted back. “Please listen to me. This is what I want.” Her eyes were bright, willing him to understand. “If you are right, and we are destined to be together, it will happen. But just not right now.”
If he let her go, he would always yearn for her. He could keep her here and turn her against her will. She would come to accept it. The thought was tempting as he reached for her, but instead he stared into her eyes until they glazed over, and she fell asleep. He would give his Rose something nobody else had.
A choice.
CHAPTER NINE
* * *
ROSE REACHED FOR LOHAN, FINDING a space where he should have been.
When she opened her eyes, she was in her own bedroom, alone. Regret overcame her as she recalled Lohan’s anger at her decision. Had she been too hasty? She pulled the duvet over her head, not wanting to leave the bed.
I decided to live.
She dragged herself to stand, wrapping a dressing gown around her nakedness before going into the small bathroom. She wiped the dusty mirror with a tissue and then stared at the marks he had left on her neck. Lohan loved her. Her heart already ached for the beautiful vampire who had lived alone for too long in that big mansion.
When she entered the kitchen, it came across as more miserable and cluttered than ever. A mess covered the floor, with towels and clothes scattered in even in this area; the neglect that had hung around her own life making its way through the apartment. Lohan had asked her to stay with him but she refused—for this? A rundown
flat, isolation, colleagues who bullied her, dresses that did not fit…She might have been with her handsome vampire instead, in his grand mansion, seeing the times as they changed and exploring the world with him. She could have been in his arms whenever she wanted…Had she made a mistake? He gave her the chance to be reborn, and she had rejected it.
Because I have already been reborn.
She was alive, with the opportunity to create the life she desired and whether she did was up to her. With that resolve, her mind was clearer. She hummed as she prepared tea. Cup in hand, she went into the living room, stopping at the sight of ice-blue eyes. Her heart thumped in her chest as she took in Lohan’s self-portrait, hung on the wall. Another gift. She stepped closer to touch it, trailing her fingers over the lines of his face. “Lohan,” she whispered. “If you are listening, thank you.”
She moved to the window, smiling and sipping tea as she watched people passing by on this sunny day. Life would now be different, because she had changed. After drinking the tea, she had a quick shower and then got dressed, fastening a colorful scarf at her neck to hide the bite marks.
Time to head to the local supermarket, where she usually loaded her cart with comfort foods: cakes, candy, crisps and bottles of soft drinks. But as she wandered through the aisles of the large market today, smiling at other shoppers, she opted for fruits, vegetables, porridge, quinoa and other products she had never heard of. The only concession was a bit of dark chocolate and some low-fat cheese. She also picked up new bed sheets, curtains, pillow covers and a throw for the sofa—in the brightest colors available—and while she was at it, a batch of cleaning equipment.
Back in the flat, she spent the afternoon sorting through clutter, putting a large bag aside for the charity shop. After filling no less than three bags with useless paperwork and other rubbish, she donned a pair of gloves and cleaned. As she scrubbed, any remaining heaviness dissipated. It took hours, but she sorted dirty clothes for the laundry, dusted the whole place, and replaced the bedding and curtains. It had had turned dark outside by the time she arranged the new throw over the sofa. Once done, she stood in the middle of the living room, feeling as if she could finally breathe here. Her apartment was transformed, the misery shifted from it.
I have a home.
As she ate dinner, whole-wheat pasta with tomato sauce and a sprinkling of low-fat cheese, exhaustion overcame her. It was only as she climbed into bed that it hit her. She had gone a day without thinking of Steve. Was he jumping at a sudden sound at this moment? The thought made her smile. She pushed him from her mind and focused on tomorrow. As it was a Sunday, she would treat herself to a day out. She planned to visit art galleries, read in cafes, perhaps even pamper herself by going to the hairdresser. Maybe some highlights? Not even the idea of returning to work on Monday could bring her down.
As she drifted off to sleep, she experienced that familiar heavy sensation. Lohan?
Sweetheart, are you happy?
Yes, my love.
ROSE TOUCHED LOHAN’S PORTRAIT, the contact giving the impression he was here, watching over her.
“Wish me luck,” she murmured. “It’s my interview today.”
Over the last two weeks, since that night, the heaviness had appeared in her head a few times, indicating the vampire was linking to her mind. The connection comforted her, as if he was close. When she experienced the sensation again yesterday, she concentrated on today’s interview, so he would know about this important achievement.
When she returned to work after that night, her colleagues had noticed little difference. Yes, she refused the tasks other PAs tried to palm off on her and was developing assertiveness skills in small measures, but her coworkers still regarded her as nothing more than the office douchebag. And then, last Wednesday, she had the sudden and crazy idea of applying for the position as Diane’s PA: the role that the rest of the PAs had their eyes on. She stayed awake all night to complete the application, sending it to Diane in time for Thursday morning’s deadline. And on Friday the senior lawyer emailed to let her know she had been selected for an interview! She went straight to Barry and asked him to sign the paperwork authorizing her to take this morning off for the interview. He thought it a big joke, of course, his cutting remarks following her out of his office.
I can do this. She entered her bedroom and then stood in front of the full-length mirror to check again how she looked in the outfit she had purchased for today. The black skirt was a snug fit, but she had resolved to avoid any more baggy clothing. She smoothed the white silk blouse and then ran her fingers through her hair, highlighted with streaks of dark blond. She loved the new look. With a touch of lip gloss and black eye liner, she was ready.
Nerves gathered in her stomach. She had spent the weekend preparing, anticipating the questions that might be asked. Her experience was solid, but she was up against the other PAs in her office, more polished and well-spoken than her. I just have to give it my best shot. She needed to eat, so she forced down a light breakfast of whole-wheat toast and boiled eggs. After a cup of black coffee, she pulled on a smart jacket and picked up her bag. As she left the apartment, she smiled at Helen, who had come in with groceries. Rose had finally approached her, asking her to join her for a drink one evening. Since then, they had met for drinks or coffee several times and had plans to go to the theater next week to watch a show. It was the beginning of a friendship, at least. “Good luck with your interview,” Helen said.
“Thanks. If it goes well, fancy a drink later?”
Helen grinned. “Great. I’ve got an afternoon shift and will be back around 6.”
On the way out, Rose greeted each resident she met with a loud good morning. Some responded and others ignored her, but nothing would dampen her spirit as she left the building; certainly not the comments of the local kids, which she laughed at before filtering them out of her mind. Their insults had become less frequent, and today a couple of the kids even smiled back at her.
She had taken the morning off but as the interview was in an hour, decided to check her emails first. When she reached the open plan office, which she shared with seven other PAs, a few colleagues ran their eyes over her new outfit, loud giggles following her. Anna took one look at her and rushed over to Margaret, whispering behind her hand. The laughter did not bother Rose as it once did. To hell with them. She sat at her desk and opened her laptop, going through her inbox. She might not have their slim figures and looks, but she had the work ethics and skills needed for the role. I just need to focus on that. She touched her neck, experiencing comfort. The marks had faded, but that connection with Lohan remained.
When she resolved to say no to the duties of other PAs, it pissed them off no end, but meant her own productivity increased. As the senior lawyer, Diane would have noticed, and Rose reckoned that was a reason she was invited for an interview. Anna and Margaret had also been selected but did not see her as competition. As for the PAs who did not make it, on Friday they were pretty vocal about why they thought Rose was chosen over them. She ignored the accusations of sympathy votes, focused on making the most of the opportunity. She had a chance of getting this job, and it would make a huge difference to her career.
“Looking well, Rose.” Peter paused at her desk, a file in his hand.
“Thank you.” She had lost a few pounds, and as she was eating healthily and regularly going to the gym, felt great.
“Good luck with the interview today.”
He remembered? “Thanks, Peter.”
“You’re welcome. And you deserve it, so go in there and do your best.”
“That’s kind of you. Cheers.”
As he walked away, her office mobile rang. Barry. “Rose? I need a few notes putting together.”
She grabbed her dictation machine and notebook. As she entered Barry’s office, the usual trepidation churned inside her stomach, making her nauseous. He wore a smart two-piece, his expression bored as he leaned back in his armchair while talking into his mobile. She w
aited until he looked at her and indicated she should take the chair on the other side of his large wood desk. She placed her device on the desk: as usual, her fingers were on the record button and ready for the moment he would speak. The spacious office was furnished with expensive pieces, that large black leather armchair custom-made and as imposing as Barry, but the crème walls displayed no artwork, and there were no personal items on the table. She always dreaded being called into this stark room, anticipating the snide remarks and taunts.
As Barry ended the call, he ran a hand through his graying hair and gave her a smile that had no warmth in it. “Let’s start.” She pressed the record key, keeping her attention on the device to ensure it did not stop at any point, while she noted any salient points in the notebook. If she did well at the interview, she would never be summoned to this terrifying space again. Barry remained fixated on his device—he was obviously chatting to someone online—and did not glance up as he dictated the notes. “That will be all, Rose.” As she stood to leave, his eyes were still glued to the mobile. “There’s a meeting with a client at 10. You’re ready, right?”
She swallowed. “I have an interview with Diane.” As if the smug asshole did not already know that.
He waved his hand. “No point. We both know Anna is the best candidate for the position. You’ll be wasting your time, and I need you at this meeting—”
Blood Rose (Vampire Romance) Page 7
