The Rift In Our Reality: A Sweet Young Adult Romance

by Amy Proebstel

  I wasn’t sure if I should be thrilled or offended. Did he just admit he would be coming around to see the dog instead of me? The more logical part of my brain decided I liked any reason for Matt to spend time with me even if it were just for Charlie.

  Chapter Ten

  TWO DAYS LATER, I stood beside Matt at Jimmy’s memorial service, with Charlie standing at attention between us. I wore my lavender dress which I saved for these somber occasions. I’m sure it received some looks of disapproval from the guests, but they needed to be reminded of the good times and not focus solely on the sorrow they felt right now.

  Charlie and I both served as Matt’s support crew. Although, I have a feeling Charlie brought Matt more comfort. They shared memories with Jimmy which I didn’t have.

  When the service ended, Matt offered to drive me home and spend the afternoon with me. I gladly accepted. He needed a distraction from his distraught parents.

  Matt pulled into my driveway and sighed. “It looks like you’ve got company. Maybe I should go.”

  “What kind of car is it?”

  “A Ford truck.”

  “Oh, that’s just Jackson. C’mon, it’s time the two of you got to know one another.”

  “I don’t know. The last time we met, he didn’t seem that thrilled with me.”

  “That’s only because he doesn’t know you. I promise he’ll be on his best behavior. Get out of the car; you’re coming inside.” I opened my door and got out, Charlie happily leading the way.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Matt said, just before I shut the door.

  I heard his car door shut and grinned at how easily he followed my direction. I hated it when boys tried to be difficult. I’d had plenty of practice with Hunter, so he was no match for my determination. Besides, I needed Matt and Jackson to become friends if I were going to have the summer of my dreams.

  The room fell silent as soon as we walked in. They must have been evaluating how Matt’s mood would be considering where we’d just come from. I could have kissed Jackson for coming to the rescue.

  “Hey, I’m Jackson. It’s good to see you again, Matt.”

  “Hi, Jackson.”

  I could only assume they were either shaking hands or staring one another down. Probably both, knowing how boys were with one another.

  Jackson suddenly said, “So Hunter was telling me you liked making YouTube videos. We should plan something to work on this summer. What do you think?”

  “I’m in!” Matt agreed, his voice more animated than I’d heard it in quite some time.

  I should have known Jackson would be amazing. There was a reason he was my best friend. I stood there with a foolish grin on my face until Charlie jiggled the leash in my hand as he sat down beside my feet.

  “Did Mom tell you the news, Haley?” Hunter asked suddenly.

  I hadn’t even realized he was in the room. I frowned slightly, trying to think of anything I was expecting to hear about. I shook my head and said, “I don’t think so. What is it?”

  “The research study in New York called. They’ve agreed to allow you into the trial.”

  “Hey, Hunter! I was going to tell her!” Mom scolded as she walked into the room. Her voice turned toward me as she said, “Isn’t that the most wonderful news ever? This’s what we’ve been working for, ever since we got your diagnosis.”

  My heart thudded dangerously fast. What was this going to mean for me? Was I going to be cured, or was it just going to be another patch to extend my life? I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I knew more about it. “When is it?”

  “They’re getting final approvals right now from the FDA. They think everything will be in place within eight weeks. Aren’t you excited?” Mom’s hands circled my upper arms, and she squeezed tightly in her happiness at the news.

  “Excuse me,” I said, suddenly feeling slightly queasy. I pulled away, dropping Charlie’s leash and making a mad dash for the sanctuary of my bedroom.

  “Haley!” Mom called after me.

  My mind reeled with the possibilities ahead of me. Did I want to go through with this? Was it right to go right when Matt lost his brother to the same disease? Did I owe it to Matt to turn it down? I curled up on my bed, Mr. Octopus held tightly to my chest much like I’d done when I was contemplating my first treatment.

  “Haley?” Matt spoke softly from across my room.

  “I’m sorry, Matt.” I felt tears start to drop from my eyes.

  “Sorry? Why, Haley? This is fantastic news.”

  His voice sounded closer. Just the fact that he was trying to cheer me up only made this worse. How could I explain how I felt about this to him?

  “Don’t you get it?”

  “Get what? That you have a second chance?”

  The bed tilted as Matt sat down on the edge. His hand came to rest on my knee, but he didn’t attempt to comfort me any further. His kindness only made me cry harder.

  “Haley, what’s got you so upset? Shouldn’t you be happy about this? Explain this to me.”

  It took me a few seconds to compose myself. When I finally felt I had sufficient control of myself, I said, “It’s not right that I’m going to get a second chance when your brother didn’t even get a first chance. It’s not fair.

  “They should be offering this trial to someone younger and in more danger of dying. I can’t stand to see another family torn apart because of this awful disease. It’s not fair. If I refuse, maybe they’ll pick someone who needs it more.”

  I knew I was rambling and repeating myself, but the words just spilled out of my mouth. I hated even bringing up Jimmy’s death to Matt. He needed something to take his mind away from it, not having me throw it in his face.

  Matt scooted up until he leaned against the headboard next to me. He slung his arm over my shoulder and shifted my weight over until I rested against his side. If I hadn’t been so upset, I would have enjoyed the experience.

  “I seem to recall some very knowledgeable girl explaining the trials process to me only last week. She told me that the candidates have to meet certain criteria in order to be accepted. I’m sure if there were better candidates, then they wouldn’t have been offering the slot to you.

  “Haley, I don’t want you to give up this opportunity out of some misguided notion that it’d upset me. In fact, I’m hoping I’ll be able to go with you. Would you like that?”

  I tipped my face up toward his, and asked, “Are you serious?”

  “Definitely. I’d be honored to go with you.”

  “But it’s in New York. How would that work?”

  “I’ve got money saved up. Don’t worry about it. If you want me there, then I’ll be right by your side. Just tell me that you’ll go.”

  I was happy enough to kiss him right there, but I managed to hold myself back just in time. “Yes. Matt, I’ll go if you come with me. Are you sure you’re okay with this? I mean…Jimmy?”

  “He would’ve been the first one to want you to go. Trust me.”

  I flung my arm across his middle and hugged him tightly to me. This was the happiest I’d been in a long time. With my face smashed against Matt’s chest, I said, “Thank you.”

  “Ahem! Am I interrupting something?” Jackson asked rudely from the doorway.

  I grinned, imagining the look on Jackson’s face. He never seemed to grow up from the six-year-old I could clearly remember. Lifting my head, I said brightly, “Not at all. We need to go tell Mom that we’re going to New York.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before, but just by agreeing to participate in the upcoming drug trial, it also meant spending many days at the doctor’s office or the hospital to undergo innumerable tests. With only eight weeks to gather as much baseline data as they could, I hated seeing my summer days slip away.

  Yet, these days also proved to be quite rewarding. After Matt heard about Charlie being turned away from the hospital, he became furious and vowed to do something about it. I didn’t think m
uch of it until one afternoon, about a week later, Matt came over sounding quite pleased with himself.

  “What’s up with you today?” I asked him as we walked through the yard.

  “I’ve got something for you,” he answered, suddenly thrusting a package into my hands.

  I felt the padded envelope, not having any idea what it could be. Being visually impaired, I generally didn’t handle much mail, so he had me quite curious. “What is it?”

  “Why don’t you open it and see?” he answered.

  “Ha. Ha.” I answered, giving him some grief for the phrase he chose to use.

  “I’m so sorry, Haley; it just slipped out.”

  “I’m just teasing, Matt. Don’t worry about it. I’ve long since gotten over being sensitive to it.” Although, I realized my family never used any sighted phrases like it anymore. Just another small consideration they all made on my behalf without my ever having to say anything.

  I felt for the edge where the flap folded over. With a bit of tugging, I managed to shred open the top and shove my hand inside. I felt some paperwork, which Matt would have to read to me, but I also felt something made of a thick, embroidered fabric. More than a little confused, I brought it out and asked, “What is it?”

  “I contacted Chris, you know, Charlie’s trainer. I told him what happened at the hospital and he was as upset as I was. I don’t know what he did, but he pulled some strings and made some phone calls. What you’re holding in your hand is the certification needed for Charlie to remain with you no matter where you go.”

  “You mean, this is Charlie’s? What does it say?”

  “Yes, it attaches to your guide handle, and it reads ‘Service Dog.’ Now, nobody can turn you away from where you need to go.”

  Immediately, I felt a sense of unrestrained pleasure at Matt’s wonderful gift. No longer would I have to endure hours of alone-time while waiting for my tests and procedures. Charlie could legally be by my side everywhere.

  I threw my arms around Matt’s neck and automatically planted a kiss on his lips. As soon as we came into contact with one another, I felt the electricity pulsing through me as well as my profound embarrassment at acting so impulsively.

  Immediately, I jumped away from him, my fingers reaching up to touch my lips. “I’m so sorry; I just…I’m so sorry.” I would have turned to run away, except Matt’s hand grabbed my arm and prevented me from bolting.

  “I’m not sorry, Haley. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

  He let go of my arm, and I stood stupidly staring blankly as my mind processed his confession. “You did?” I whispered, not trusting that I’d heard him correctly.

  “Yes. And maybe we’ll try it again sometime if you like.”

  I’m sure the blush overcoming my cheeks must have been quite the sight, but I simply nodded. There was no way I was going to admit that I’d take that sometime right now. Obviously, if he wanted to do it again, he would have. Now, I would just have to wait him out and see if he truly meant what he said, or if he only were trying to make me feel less awkward. I nodded woodenly.

  “Let’s go put Charlie’s new badge of honor on. What do you say?” Matt offered brightly as I continued to stay silent.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Luckily, the boys in my life conspired together to fill my non-doctor days with fun activities. Jackson had proposed we begin doing a video sequence honoring Jimmy. At first, I’d been reluctant to agree, thinking how sad it would make Matt. But, being Jackson, he merely forged ahead and talked to Matt behind my back.

  The next thing I knew, we were planning all sorts of activities which Matt had promised his little brother they would do someday when he wasn’t sick. I wasn’t about to tell any of them that some of these events were also on my bucket list.

  With all of this going on, I found myself dropping into my bed every night, more exhausted than I’d ever felt. Yet each morning, I looked forward to whatever the boys had planned for us. This was the first time I truly felt alive and normal. I was living my dreams with the people who made me feel equal to them.

  Chapter Eleven

  WE WERE GETTING ready to leave the house for another epic adventure to be posted on Jackson’s YouTube channel. Already, he was getting more motivated because his number of followers had almost tripled just because we’d changed the focus of the videos he was producing. Apparently, people were more interested in action and adventure, than in home movie productions.

  What’s today’s planned activity, you ask? Zip-lining. I’d heard it felt a lot like flying, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. While it was on my personal bucket list, some things were better to keep as a dream rather than to actually do. But I’d said yes, so I guess I was going no matter how nervous it made me feel.

  I’d already changed my outfit three times and ended up choosing my yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Since the weather was warm and sunny, I didn’t need to worry about any type of jacket. I pulled my hair into a ponytail low enough to accommodate wearing a helmet.

  When we all piled into Matt’s car, the excitement was palpable. None of us had ever done this before, and Hunter was especially eager to try out his new head-mounted camera dad had given him the night before. When the boys started talking about some video game they’d discovered recently, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the window. The warmth of Charlie’s fur on my side began to lull me to sleep.

  Because I’d had trouble sleeping the night before in anticipation of today, I promptly fell asleep and missed the entire drive. I was totally fine with that; it gave me less time to get worked up about it.

  This was such a novel feeling for me since I’d always looked forward to daring adventures in my past. Maybe I was finally starting to get common sense or a sense of mortality. In either event, I suppressed the worry and concentrated on enjoying myself to the fullest.

  Matt shook me awake before letting himself out of the car. It took me a minute to recall where I was and almost fell out the door when Matt opened it up for me. He gallantly caught me, his hand supporting my elbow as I stood up. I didn’t mind the contact.

  Rather than letting go, his hand slid down my arm until his fingers curled around mine. This was the first time he’d shown any display of affection with me while Jackson and Hunter were around. Maybe my spontaneous kiss had stirred up something in him, and I was more than happy to explore where this would go.

  I don’t know if Matt could tell I was nervous and was merely providing a distraction for me, but I loved him even more for it. We walked in front of the others, and I’m pretty sure they were already filming. They liked to get the entire experience documented. The thought flittered through my mind about what my parents would think about Matt holding my hand.

  Our guide instructed us on how to wear our harnesses. Again, Matt caught me off-guard when he assisted me into my gear without asking my permission. Just when I thought the day couldn’t get any better, the guide told us they had a two-person option.

  “I’d like to go with Haley,” Matt offered even before I could make the same request.

  I bit my bottom lip as I tried to keep the grin from my face. Matt’s fingers squeezed mine playfully as if he already knew what I was thinking. He leaned in until his lips tickled my ear and said, “I can’t wait to fly with you. I want to watch your face light up with joy.”

  Like a typical giddy school-girl I used to make fun of with the boys, I giggled. “I can’t wait,” I stupidly answered. I don’t even remember how we got to the platform, but I could feel the breeze on my cheeks as the guide clipped our harnesses onto the overhead wire.

  Matt and I were closer than we’d ever been before, except for the time when he comforted me while I was crying. I didn’t care what came next, as long as I could have Matt with me.

  “Are you ready?” Matt asked, his arm linked with mine.

  “Absolutely!” I replied instantly, the thrill of flying right before me. This was the moment I’d dreamed of, but be
tter than I could’ve planned before meeting Matt.

  “One, two, three!” Matt called out before he stepped off the platform and forced me to do the same.

  The air whooshed past us; our speed kept increasing as the sound of our harness on the overhead wire kept whirring. My hand clutched Matt’s, and I grinned until my cheeks hurt. I was flying!

  Faster than I would have thought possible, I felt Matt moving his arm up to start slowing us down. “Already?” I asked.

  “Yep. But this is only the first run. We still have five more to go. Do you want to provide the braking on the next one?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe,” I replied, still trying to process how I’d manage it.

  A pair of hands came out of nowhere and grabbed my harness to pull me forward onto the platform. I could tell immediately that it wasn’t Matt; it definitely wasn’t as gentle as I’d known him to be with me. In a few minutes, Hunter and then Jackson joined us on the platform. As a group, we moved on to the next run.

  After the last zip-line, the guide asked us to go down the ladder since the small platform was too small for our entire group. He went down first, and I followed him right away. In an instant, Matt and I found ourselves alone in the woods.

  As I stepped away from the last rung of the ladder, I stumbled on the uneven ground, and my hands went out to find something to steady me. Immediately, my hands rested on Matt’s muscular chest as he caught me up against him.

  “Thanks,” I said, inhaling his masculine scent, and tipping my head up to grin at him.

  He must have seen something in my expression because he decided this was the moment for which he’d been waiting. His lips touched onto mine, gently at first, and then more urgently as I instantly responded to him.

  Time seemed to stand still as I melted against him. How could he be so perfect? He made me feel safe and loved. Before we could get too caught up in our own little world, Matt pulled away and whispered, “That’s what I’ve wanted to do since I met you.”